I’m reading Rebounders by Rick Newman. He offers some fascinating case studies about people who taken failure and used it to learn from their mistakes and become successful. He also divides people into two categories: Rebounders and Wallowers. It reminds of what I wrote about in Magical Identity, in regards to people who are professional victims versus people who choose to learn from tough circumstances and make changes accordingly.
According to Newman “Rebounders know how to solve problems and overcome setbacks, often because they’ve done it before. So they tend to react with calm determination, and even a sense of humor…They’d rather solve problems then complain about them or blame someone else…They analyze their mistakes and learn from them, and change their mind when new information turns out to be better than old information.
Wallowers, by contrast, often do the opposite. They get rattled when something goes wrong, even something small, because they’re not accustomed to solving their own problems. They complain or get indignant instead of simply trying to fix things. They spend a lot of time figuring out who to blame for a problem usually absolving themselves…they tend to be the people who get stuck in their careers and don’t understand why, and who remained convinced that their tribulations are somebody else’s fault”
The rebounder learns to take responsibility for him/herself and solves problems, while the wallower makes lots of excuses, blames everyone else, and acts passive aggressively when problems occur.
The magician is ideally a rebounder, instead of a wallower. Wallowing is a waste of time and effort. It’s something the professional victim does, crying “poor me, Poor me.” But what goes does that do? You might get some attention, but in the end the problem is still there, still present. The problem can only be solved when you take responsibility for it and determine a course of action to make a change. Whether that’s magic, something, or a combination thereof, the point is that it’s better to focus on solving the problem than just wallowing in it and letting it define your reality.
Act instead of reacting.
Speaking of Magical Identity, this Thursday I’ll be interviewed on the Stirring the Cauldron radio show at 9pm EST and 6pm PST, where I’ll be discussing my new book and ongoing projects and other fun magical topics.