Elemental Emptiness Month 12: From Zero to One
9-24-09 I haven’t been able to update since the esoteric book convention. It highlights how busy my schedule has become and how problematic that can be at times. I’m not sure I like that, so I’m looking at what I can change in my life to give me a bit more time. As this elemental [...]
She came to me
She came to me tonight as I was being massaged and said, “I would have an audience with you tonight.” I said I’d prefer if this audience occurred when I was alone, for since this was part of my emptiness work, that needed to be part of it. She smiled and said, “I’ll get you [...]
Elemental Emptiness Month 11: The zero is about to hatch
8-20-09 It’s hitting me that in two months this working will end. I’m sort of surprised it’s such a short time away, because in a way I’ve felt like I’ve lived more than a year’s time with this working. And maybe in some ways I have. The metamorphosis I’ve been experiencing and still am experiencing [...]
Elemental Emptiness Month 10: Love and Longing
7-18-09 I got a comment on my last entry on emptiness from a reader, who is a christian, who said I should turn to the christian god to fill up my emptiness. I wonder if she really read the entry, or for that matter read any of the others or just decided on the spot [...]
Element Emptiness Month 9: Craving and Desire pt. 2
6-19-09 I’m feeling out of sorts today. This is one of those days where there’s missed connections, where everything feels slightly off. It’s a day where I feel the craving to be filled a bit more sharply. A day where nothing I do really satisfies and underlying everything is a feeling of loss. I hate [...]
Elemental Emptiness Month 8: Craving and Desire pt. 1
5-18-09 I think sometimes what I find so difficult about desire is that desire brings some sense of vulnerability with it. I can express a desire, but that expression leaves me vulnerable. And sometimes the expression has left me in places where I’ve felt very…hung out to dry. I’ve expressed interest and then been left [...]
Elemental Emptiness month 7: Fear and Desire
4-18-09 I got a response to my last post report on the elemental emptiness working, where the person made some observations about my flaws as a person. It wasn’t easy to read, but as I reflected on what had been noted, I realized that it was an observation as opposed to a judgment, but also [...]
Elemental Emptiness Month 6: The Hermit and Fear
3-15-09 I’m in a foul mood tonight. I essentially got told by my spirit guide for this working (one of them anyway) that I have to step up and face my fear of being alone, and accept the very real possibility that I may always be alone. He feels that this fear and the desire [...]
Elemental Emptiness Work Month 5: Compassion pt. 2
2-16-09 I’ve been gone for a few days at pantheacon and a lot happened while there. On the flight in, I was reading Relaxing into your Being by B. K. Frantzis and in it he was discussing how meditation work initially is like a glass of water with red dust in it. The red dust [...]
XAH
I am the darkness of your night the shadow to your light, the laughing fox who jaunts about is my guide into you. I am your holiest of holies, your god and personal Daemon, I am the emptiness which engulfs you the passion that burns you the intensity which brings you to your knees at [...]
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