elemental work

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 6

3-24-2019 I had a realization today about my passive aggressive behavior. When I am passive aggressive its because I’m in a situation where I don’t feel like I’m in control. The passive aggression is a way to try and get that control back or undermine it for the other person. When I trace this behavior to its origins, I find it goes back to my childhood because I wasn’t allowed to express my feelings of anger or anything else along those lines without getting punished.

Having this realization is helping me look at situations where I don’t feel like I have control and helping me see how that behavior is coming out. And its helping me realize I do have a choice. I can choose how I express my feelings. I can choose to be passive aggressive or I can choose to be direct, even in situations where I may not feel I have control.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 5

2-22-2019 I finished reading The Courage to be Disliked Today. I found it really insightful because it talked about work and about the intrinsic reward of contributing to your community, regardless of whether you are recognized or not. What the authors shared resonates with me deeply, because as I’ve continued to shift away from seeking recognition to doing the work, I’ve felt a deeper connection to my community and a deeper satisfaction about the work I am doing with that community. Doing the work and being in the moment is what matters. Anything else is a distraction. Realizing that has helped me shift my awareness around creativity, my work, and my sense of self-worth in a positive direction.

2-23-2019 Even if with all the work I’ve done around recognition and realizing that being recognized isn’t necessarily as good for me as I’d have thought at one time, there are still moments where it hits me hard that I’m in the background now. When I see a local event happen, with presenters, and no one’s asked me to present, it hits hard. I felt that way today and at one time it would’ve hit much harder, but for the moment I just feel a sense of loss because I realize I’m not being asked to present, and I likely won’t ever be again. Yet I am finding my way around that. I am connecting to my community, having dialogue with the people that need my work and contributing something. Have I really lost anything if I can continue to contribute and make a difference? I think the answer is I haven’t. Yes, may never present at conferences again because I chose to speak up about problems I saw, but I am still connecting with my community, still writing, still making videos, still doing something. That won’t ever stop. So I acknowledge this desire to be recognized and I let it go. I don’t have to be out there. I simply need to do my work and let it speak and find the people that need it.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 4

1-22-2019 Last night I started working with the Affinities. This work felt like I was supercharging myself and the elevations and adding further correspondences that would help me go deeper if I’m doing work with the Tree of Life or even as a way of drawing on those specific resources for ritual work. In a very real sense it feels like what I’m creating are batteries I can draw on when needed, but also guides that can help me take my spiritual work further.

1-24-2019 I’ve been continuing to work with the affinities and what I notice is that they do seem to supercharge the elevation even further while also creating a resonance effect within me, tuning the internal elevation further. I’m not sure what the end process will be but I do feel a stronger connection to the Archangels as well as to the elements, cosmos and underworld, so I’m willing to keep working at it and seeing where it takes me.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 1

10-22-2018 Today I transitioned over to the element of Creativity. this year I am changing how I work with elemental energy completely, by using the Sphere of Art as the elemental invocation and balancing force. And I am working with archangel Metatron in particular, but in tonight’s working I was reminded that I am really working with all of them. I did the Sphere of Art full invocation and then I meditated and in the meditation I was taken deep and experienced all 7 of the archangels as 1, which makes sense because they are ultimately reflections and embodiments of each other. They told me I would be building off everything I had learned this last year and this work would play an integral role in manifesting my path forward.

I’ll admit I found it appropriate that the final book cover, for Manifesting Wealth, came in today. It was a further confirmation from the archangels. I feel primed and ready to explore creativity and my relationship with it this year.

12 Lessons I learned from working with the element of Stability

I recently wrapped up working with the element of stability for a year. My work with stability for a year is part of a process I’ve developed where I work with a given element, daily, for the course of a year or more in order to achieve balance with that element. It’s basically an intensive form of internal work but it has helped me make significant changes in my life for the better because when I work with an element for a year or more I find that I end up having the experiences I need to help me make proactive changes in my life.

My elemental balancing ritual changes on my birthday so the year is a bit unusual in that it starts and ends on October 21st (for me). I originally started this practice in 2004 and have continued doing it for the last 14 years. In Inner Alchemy I share more about how the ritual works, but what I thought I would do here is share 12 lessons I’ve learned from working with stability for the past year.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 12

9-23-2018 I think its kind of fitting that I’m getting all the old business wrapped up as this year long work with stability comes to a close. I chose to work with Stability as an element, because I needed to stabilize my life. And I think it as the right choice. I look back at the last 11 months and there was some hard work, but the end result is that everything is off my plate that doesn’t belong and now I can focus on what’s really important. Stability isn’t reinforcing that status quo. It’s the deliberate creation of a foundation that truly supports you.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 11

8-24-2018 I was reading Expert Secrets by Russell Brunson and I had this realization about how I messed up last year. I hadn't built a shared vision or a sense of community. I had tried to, but I had missed something he spoke about. Sitting with that realization was hard. At first I wanted to beat myself up for not having that realization earlier and then I began to wonder if I should try and do something with this realization. And then I took a deep breath and I realized that if I do anything with it, I should focus on what I'm doing now, not try to fix the past. I should learn from my mistakes (as I have been), not try to frantically fix them. And I should look forward and move forward with renewed purpose about what really matters to me, but also remember that I still have time. 

Last year I would have tried to do something that likely wouldn't have worked. A year later, I can see the mistakes and learn from them and take action in a way that actually is truly beneficial, instead of just reacting. And that's because of stability.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 10

7-24-2018 The other night I did the sphere of art working again, but this time, no energy flowed in to wake me up so to speak. Once I got to the meditation portion of the ritual, I asked the archangels about that and they said, "You expected it this time and we don't want there to be an expectation built into what you do with us." This made sense to me so I consider it a valuable lesson learned in relationship to this work as much as anything else.

Today I communed with Elephant. Its always part of the daily work, but I purposely made it the only thing I did with the daily work. He reminded me to take things slow and steady, to recognize that any path I go on will be a journey and not a destination. In the past I've gotten so focused on the destination that I haven't paid attention to the journey, to my own detriment so I thanked him for his wise advice.

The Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 9

6-24-2018 I think one challenge people have with stability is the ideal that stability is illusory. I can appreciate that perspective, because in truth the trappings of stability are illusory. Under the right circumstances everything can be taken away. But those are the trappings. Real stability comes from within and its not about being in one place or having everything work out just fine. It's really about being able to adjust and adapt to whatever situation comes your way and still keep some sense of purpose and drive. 

I've had to learn a lot about this in the last 9 months to a year. So much has changed externally, and I've had to adjust and adapt and also find myself all over again. I'm still finding myself in some ways. There are days where it is really hard, and yet gradually the coal is being polished to a diamond, the facets are being revealed, and I'm discovering what really matters. As hard as everything has been, I actually see what happened as a blessing, because its forced me to re-evaluate what matters to me and ask myself what I really want. 

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 8

5-24-2018 I finished reading Lessons Learned from Occult Letters today. My first reading of it anyway. Its one of those books I'll come back to and read again because of the insights offered in it. You can learn some profound perspectives from something which seems basic on the surface but actually goes much deeper underneath. It's why there are some books I come back to again and again because one reading is simply not enough. I think when you can choose to spend time with something, go deep with it, what it can offer you is a not just a brief moment, but a part of the path you walk.

5-27-2018 I've been reading Letters of Light, which were letters written by William G. Gray to one of his students. I think what I find most relevant in these letters is that they speak in some ways to my own changing circumstances. I have pretty much withdrawn from active participation in the occult/Pagan community and my reasons for doing that have primarily been a realization that I need to focus less on what's happening around me and more on the spiritual work I'm doing and the writing that goes with it. That change in focus will likely result in a couple more changes along those lines. It's ironic because I've done the author schtick and I'll continue to write books, but the author schtick itself doesn't matter so much any more. It's more about the work and the writing and giving myself over to that work in complete trust of where it can take me on my spiritual journey.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 7

4-23-2018 Today I was sitting with a feeling of embarrassment and humiliation that I felt and I read When Things Fall Apart and it was the right reading for the moment, because she talks about that moment of feeling squeezed, of feeling like a failure and that's the moment when your mind opens up, if we allow it to. And I felt that way, and yet in that moment of embracing it, I then felt this deeper acceptance of myself, this deeper sense of stability. Yes I'm feeling this way because of x, y, and z. And yes being in the moment can be hard, to feel a sense of shame is never easy, yet embracing that feeling is also liberation. You aren't bound to that shame, instead you use it to free yourself of the narrative.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 6

3-23-2018 In Nine Poisons, Nine Medicines, Nine Fruits the author talks about how self-images define us and create karmic patterns, and how in turn a fixation on an image of success can distract us from being truly present with what you're doing. And I'm inclined to agree. I think a lot of the enjoyment I might have experienced with various activities got sucked away by getting focused on certain images of success. Since those images are no longer relevant, I've experienced a deeper, and more open enjoyment of my writing and magical work than I've experienced in years. There is nothing to be recognized for, nothing to live up to and so all images fall away to leave in place a more open and vulnerable experience.

And she reminds me that inevitably a person experiences loss, disappointment and failure. It's simply a reality of life, but how you adapt to it and learn from it...that's your choice. I think what I've learned from the last six months is how to deal with experiencing a crushing disappointment by resiliently adapting and learning from it. Of late, I've just been feeling more open to the fear I wake up with each day and it somehow has become I can just be more gracefully present with. I can relax into it, work through it, accept it, instead of resisting it and creating tension. And I can work with that because I'm not fixated any longer on trying to achieve some standard of success. When success doesn't matter, life suddenly becomes a lot easier to live because you can adapt to the moment and roll with the circumstances and continue on your journey. And that's where I'm at, just rolling with the circumstances, adapting each day to each situation that comes up and seeing where it takes me.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 5

2-22-2018 I've started reading Nine Poisons, Nine Medicines, Nine Fruits by Shabhavi Sarasvati. It speaks to me. I was reading about the first poison, which is self concern at the expense of others, and I could relate to it because sometimes, many times, that's been me. I've been so focused on my own needs or issues or whatever else and have focused on fulfilling them without really considering the impact I'd have on other people. This is something I've been changing as a result of reading and working through Brene Brown's work, but it nonetheless is a good reminder to me that it is something to be aware of.

What the author reminds me of is that self-concern comes at the expense of other people, because self-concern is about validation of yourself through the interactions you have with others, without necessarily recognizing their worth. Sometimes I've been that person and sitting with that is good because I can recognize it as a pattern of tension in my life and continue undoing it.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 4

1-23-2018 In the power of TED The author shares that how you approach life creates the experience you have and that makes sense. I can recognize when I'm approaching my life as a victim or as a creator and how I feel in both situations. I think the real takeaway, emphasized as much by other things I've been reading, is pick the problems that best serve your outcome. And that only happens when you define your outcome. I've been redefining my outcomes in a couple areas of life and I already see some key differences that are helping me be much more productive and happy. 

1-24-2018 I had a 2 hour conversation with another of Gray's students. It was fascinating to hear more stories about Gray, but also to discuss my ongoing magical work as well as learning about that student's working. I felt another connection click into place through that discussion and I'm very excited to continue the relationship and perhaps collaboration as well. Finding like minded magicians who get my work on a deep level and have a shared spiritual foundation is truly exciting.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 3

12-23-2017 Since I made the decision to stop comparing myself to others and start appreciating myself more, I've felt a sense of lightness and happiness and appreciation for my work that I've never ever felt before. I think I've been so busy trying to fit in for so long that it killed a lot of joy in my work. And now I'm simply belonging to myself and I look at the work I've done, am doing, and plan to do and I really, really like it. It's such a wonderful feeling.

12-26-2017 The other day Elephant told me I needed to just be sometimes, instead of trying to do so much. "What about all my work with Stillness?" I asked. You were still doing Stillness he told me...not really just being. And he's got a point.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 2

11-23-2017 I've been waking up with fear and anxiety each day. And each day I've been doing the Taoist dissolving meditation and working with Elephant to be present with what I'm feeling. I've also been reading Rising Strong by Brene Brown lately and its extremely relevant because its really a book about how you come back from failing.

And something which really stands out to me is that she explains the importance of being really present with those messy, uncomfortable feelings you have around failing. She basically says we need to be curious.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 1

10-22-2017 On Friday I switched from Stillness to Stability, from working with Zadok to working with Elephant. One of the reasons I chose Stability is because I feel a need for grounding. One might think with Stillness that I'd already be grounded, but Stillness isn't about that. And to move forward from Stillness requires a measured approach.

When I connected with Stability, I felt Elephant step in and communicating with Elephant is quite interesting because part of the communication process is done through vibration and the paths of memory. So today for example Elephant on a journey of memory and used vibration to steer the course.  

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stillness month 34

7-23-17 Sometimes I like to put myself into spaces unconventionally in order to think, but also to meditate. There's something quite mesmerizing about staring at the blades of a fan and letting your mind wander through the fields of probability, while lying on the floor contemplating your upcoming week.

And I feel really vulnerable and open right now. This last month was hard but good because it forced me to hit some hard places and shatter some illusions. Being open as a result has helped me got some help and direction.