12 Lessons I learned from working with the element of Stability

I recently wrapped up working with the element of stability for a year. My work with stability for a year is part of a process I’ve developed where I work with a given element, daily, for the course of a year or more in order to achieve balance with that element. It’s basically an intensive form of internal work but it has helped me make significant changes in my life for the better because when I work with an element for a year or more I find that I end up having the experiences I need to help me make proactive changes in my life.

My elemental balancing ritual changes on my birthday so the year is a bit unusual in that it starts and ends on October 21st (for me). I originally started this practice in 2004 and have continued doing it for the last 14 years. In Inner Alchemy I share more about how the ritual works, but what I thought I would do here is share 12 lessons I’ve learned from working with stability for the past year.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 12

9-23-2018 I think its kind of fitting that I’m getting all the old business wrapped up as this year long work with stability comes to a close. I chose to work with Stability as an element, because I needed to stabilize my life. And I think it as the right choice. I look back at the last 11 months and there was some hard work, but the end result is that everything is off my plate that doesn’t belong and now I can focus on what’s really important. Stability isn’t reinforcing that status quo. It’s the deliberate creation of a foundation that truly supports you.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 11

8-24-2018 I was reading Expert Secrets by Russell Brunson and I had this realization about how I messed up last year. I hadn't built a shared vision or a sense of community. I had tried to, but I had missed something he spoke about. Sitting with that realization was hard. At first I wanted to beat myself up for not having that realization earlier and then I began to wonder if I should try and do something with this realization. And then I took a deep breath and I realized that if I do anything with it, I should focus on what I'm doing now, not try to fix the past. I should learn from my mistakes (as I have been), not try to frantically fix them. And I should look forward and move forward with renewed purpose about what really matters to me, but also remember that I still have time. 

Last year I would have tried to do something that likely wouldn't have worked. A year later, I can see the mistakes and learn from them and take action in a way that actually is truly beneficial, instead of just reacting. And that's because of stability.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 10

7-24-2018 The other night I did the sphere of art working again, but this time, no energy flowed in to wake me up so to speak. Once I got to the meditation portion of the ritual, I asked the archangels about that and they said, "You expected it this time and we don't want there to be an expectation built into what you do with us." This made sense to me so I consider it a valuable lesson learned in relationship to this work as much as anything else.

Today I communed with Elephant. Its always part of the daily work, but I purposely made it the only thing I did with the daily work. He reminded me to take things slow and steady, to recognize that any path I go on will be a journey and not a destination. In the past I've gotten so focused on the destination that I haven't paid attention to the journey, to my own detriment so I thanked him for his wise advice.

The Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 9

6-24-2018 I think one challenge people have with stability is the ideal that stability is illusory. I can appreciate that perspective, because in truth the trappings of stability are illusory. Under the right circumstances everything can be taken away. But those are the trappings. Real stability comes from within and its not about being in one place or having everything work out just fine. It's really about being able to adjust and adapt to whatever situation comes your way and still keep some sense of purpose and drive. 

I've had to learn a lot about this in the last 9 months to a year. So much has changed externally, and I've had to adjust and adapt and also find myself all over again. I'm still finding myself in some ways. There are days where it is really hard, and yet gradually the coal is being polished to a diamond, the facets are being revealed, and I'm discovering what really matters. As hard as everything has been, I actually see what happened as a blessing, because its forced me to re-evaluate what matters to me and ask myself what I really want. 

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 7

4-23-2018 Today I was sitting with a feeling of embarrassment and humiliation that I felt and I read When Things Fall Apart and it was the right reading for the moment, because she talks about that moment of feeling squeezed, of feeling like a failure and that's the moment when your mind opens up, if we allow it to. And I felt that way, and yet in that moment of embracing it, I then felt this deeper acceptance of myself, this deeper sense of stability. Yes I'm feeling this way because of x, y, and z. And yes being in the moment can be hard, to feel a sense of shame is never easy, yet embracing that feeling is also liberation. You aren't bound to that shame, instead you use it to free yourself of the narrative.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 6

3-23-2018 In Nine Poisons, Nine Medicines, Nine Fruits the author talks about how self-images define us and create karmic patterns, and how in turn a fixation on an image of success can distract us from being truly present with what you're doing. And I'm inclined to agree. I think a lot of the enjoyment I might have experienced with various activities got sucked away by getting focused on certain images of success. Since those images are no longer relevant, I've experienced a deeper, and more open enjoyment of my writing and magical work than I've experienced in years. There is nothing to be recognized for, nothing to live up to and so all images fall away to leave in place a more open and vulnerable experience.

And she reminds me that inevitably a person experiences loss, disappointment and failure. It's simply a reality of life, but how you adapt to it and learn from it...that's your choice. I think what I've learned from the last six months is how to deal with experiencing a crushing disappointment by resiliently adapting and learning from it. Of late, I've just been feeling more open to the fear I wake up with each day and it somehow has become I can just be more gracefully present with. I can relax into it, work through it, accept it, instead of resisting it and creating tension. And I can work with that because I'm not fixated any longer on trying to achieve some standard of success. When success doesn't matter, life suddenly becomes a lot easier to live because you can adapt to the moment and roll with the circumstances and continue on your journey. And that's where I'm at, just rolling with the circumstances, adapting each day to each situation that comes up and seeing where it takes me.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 5

2-22-2018 I've started reading Nine Poisons, Nine Medicines, Nine Fruits by Shabhavi Sarasvati. It speaks to me. I was reading about the first poison, which is self concern at the expense of others, and I could relate to it because sometimes, many times, that's been me. I've been so focused on my own needs or issues or whatever else and have focused on fulfilling them without really considering the impact I'd have on other people. This is something I've been changing as a result of reading and working through Brene Brown's work, but it nonetheless is a good reminder to me that it is something to be aware of.

What the author reminds me of is that self-concern comes at the expense of other people, because self-concern is about validation of yourself through the interactions you have with others, without necessarily recognizing their worth. Sometimes I've been that person and sitting with that is good because I can recognize it as a pattern of tension in my life and continue undoing it.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 4

1-23-2018 In the power of TED The author shares that how you approach life creates the experience you have and that makes sense. I can recognize when I'm approaching my life as a victim or as a creator and how I feel in both situations. I think the real takeaway, emphasized as much by other things I've been reading, is pick the problems that best serve your outcome. And that only happens when you define your outcome. I've been redefining my outcomes in a couple areas of life and I already see some key differences that are helping me be much more productive and happy. 

1-24-2018 I had a 2 hour conversation with another of Gray's students. It was fascinating to hear more stories about Gray, but also to discuss my ongoing magical work as well as learning about that student's working. I felt another connection click into place through that discussion and I'm very excited to continue the relationship and perhaps collaboration as well. Finding like minded magicians who get my work on a deep level and have a shared spiritual foundation is truly exciting.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 1

10-22-2017 On Friday I switched from Stillness to Stability, from working with Zadok to working with Elephant. One of the reasons I chose Stability is because I feel a need for grounding. One might think with Stillness that I'd already be grounded, but Stillness isn't about that. And to move forward from Stillness requires a measured approach.

When I connected with Stability, I felt Elephant step in and communicating with Elephant is quite interesting because part of the communication process is done through vibration and the paths of memory. So today for example Elephant on a journey of memory and used vibration to steer the course.  

My Altar to Elephant


I've always been fascinated with Elephants. Even as a young child, they were my favorite animal and still are to this day. Over the years, I've collected elephant statues, read up on elephants to learn more about how they act, and supported non-profits focused on helping Elephants. An acquaintance gifted me Elephant skin that she'd somehow found as well as bracelets made of Elephant hair. I use both in my magical workings.

In my system of Space/Time Magic, Elephant is one of the spirit guides I work with. He is the guardian of the gates of time and space, the guardian of the crossroads. Before I work with the web, I always ask his permission.

Today, Elephant asked me for his own altar and told me that if I visited the Goodwill store up the street, I'd find what I needed. So I drove up to the goodwill store, and I found a foldable bookshelf and he indicated that the top shelf was for him and anything associated with him. I brought it home, dusted it and prepped it for Elephant. The picture above contains everything related to Elephant that I have, other than the necklaces that I wear on occasion.  I also have a painting I did, as well as a picture of Elephant from an artist. I have a mask of Elephant also, which hangs in my office.

I don't know that I'd call Elephant my totem spirit (perhaps he is). I do know that Elephant is a presence in my life that I strongly resonate with. Someday I plan to get a tattoo of Elephant on my body as another way to honor his presence in my life, but this altar is a good start.

Lessons of the Elephant God

Today I did a working with Elephant, a check-in if you will. He said I was making good progress, learning to sit in the moment, but that he also noted that I still would sometimes get too focused on projected outcomes. And he is right. I've been getting more comfortable sitting in the present moment, but I still sometimes get caught up in projected outcomes, in fantasies, if you will. "You are your own worst obstacle, because you can't see what's in front of you. What are you dealing with right now in your life?" He asked.

"Divorce, figuring out what I'll do career wise, and also working on my small business"

So don't you think," he continued," that you owe it to yourself to be present in those circumstances and situations, without focusing so much on projected outcomes. You'll get to the future soon enough, but sit in this moment right now and be present with yourself and the environment around you. What do you need to know about this moment, about this place you are in?"

I thought about that and I realized what I really need to know is that I can be present in the insecurity, in the moments where everything isn't defined as much as I'd like. That until I was present in those moments, I might be missing out on details and information that could help me make an informed choice about the circumstances I found myself in.

There's no need to escape into a projected outcome, because doing so actually keeps you where you already were, but deludes you, instead of enabling you to be mindful and aware of yourself and your surroundings. That is the lesson the elephant god continues to teach me and each time I see it in action, I come closer and closer to accepting it and living it.

Travels into time

I went into my ritual room day. I'd fully cleaned it yesterday, and I was ready to get started. I place different pictures and statues of Elephant around the room, including a poster of Elephant made by Ravenari that Lupa got me as a Christmas gift. I dressed in my ritual garb, including a necklace for elephant and a bracelet of elephant hair. I put on my robe and ritual pants I have. I placed all my time magic tools in the center of the room and then sat down and when ready touched each painting for each of the time and space entities I'm working with and asked for an audience with them. I then unlocked my memory box and used it to travel into the spider web of time and meet Elephant, Thiede, Purson, and the Spider Goddess of Time.

First I apologized to each of the entities in turn. I haven't done much in the last with this working, partially because of having a house guest in my ritual room, but in some ways moreso because of ongoing business busyness. Needless to say something I've realized is that I don't want to sacrifice my spiritual life to my business life so I'm working on trying to get a better work-life balance into place.

After that the spider goddess directed me to look into a window she presented me. When I looked into it, I saw images of the coming year, different moments that could occur. She told me she was giving me some information that would be useful for specific moments coming up, and that I'd have access to it when I needed it.

After that I did a meditation with Elephant, a recap of what we'd been working on before, i.e. learning to be present in the present, but also some further direction in terms of some personal issues I'm working with right now that have illustrated to me how much I sometimes invest my attention into possible futures. The direction boils down to a realization I had earlier today about the awareness of an energetic blockage and how I could stop feeding that blockage by learning to see how it showed up in my behavior to encourage situations that I didn't necessarily want to deal with. If I could dissolve the sensation of the blockage it could help me with the tension I was feeling. Elephant explained that the same awareness of that tension could be used to also get focused on the present moment...so we'll see what happens with it.

In other news, here's a couple of links to a podcast interview of me and Lupa and a book review of Multi-Media Magic

Interview with Erotic Awakenings about Kink Magic

A very good and balanced review of Multi-Media Magic.

Paratheatre Working with Elephant

Another working with Elephant tonight, using the paratheatre techniques I learned about. First I did stretches and exercises to get me warmed up and slipped out of mundane thinking, then transitional jogging to put me into a liminal space. As a side note, being so engaged in physical exertions was quite useful...it's something I'll be employing further. After I did the transitional jogging I got down on all fours and pretty much channeled Elephant. The focus of this working has been similar to the past ones, a continued realization of how obsessions can obscure the present awareness of time, of possibilities. What stands out to me the most is a sense of just how constructed my understanding of time is around desires, around needs around wants. Elephant pointed out that the need or desire a person experiences creates the perception and awareness of time that person has. Sure we have 24 hour days, but time is also constructed in terms of how long it takes to accomplish goals. We artificially construct time around the needs we have, as well as the fulfillment. It makes an interesting kind of sense. And Elephant's point in showing me all of this is really to help me see how constructed time can be, so that as I really begin working with the silver web, I recognize where my desires could interfere with my workings in it. It's definitely useful for me to consider all of this and I know my understanding of time is changing as a result.

No matter where you are, there you are

This morning, ever time my mind started to wander or fantasize, Elephant would speak up and say, "You're wandering." And it happened a lot. When I think about it, it's happened most of my life. I started fantasizing a lot when I was young. It was one of my defenses, one of my ways of escaping a situation I didn't want to be in. And it worked quite well. My imagination has always been vivid, and I could easily create what I needed in my daydreams. But as with anything, indulging in it too much can ultimately lead to a place of excess. So today Elephant made that abundantly clear to me. Every time my mind wandered, Elephant would call me out on it, and each time it happened, it forced me to realize just how much I have a tendency to let myself escape from the present into some past or future imagining, instead of sitting with the present moment and letting myself exist in that moment.

I like my imagination, but I also recognize a real need to stop imagining so much, to be able to sit in the present and recognize the opportunities around me in the moment. I'm glad Elephant is calling me on this, even as I'll admit, I'm frustrated that it happens so much. Then again, would I even be doing what I'm doing, if I didn't recognize some need to change?

"Forget Time to Find Yourself"

I've been reading Toward an Archaeology of the Soul by Antero Alli. I've met Antero once and we talked for about half an hour, and I've read his first book on the eight circuit model, but this work resonates with me a lot more, because in it, I see elements of my own practices and experiences. the embracing of the void, the assumption of no form, the intense working with a particular issue or element in your life are themes of both our work. I've decided I'm going to integrate the paratheatre method into some of my workings. I think it could only enhance what I'm already doing. Tonight, at the experimenter group, we did a working with time utilizing my recent work with elephant. First we did the exercise from The Possible Human, where you become different units of time, to set the proper frame of mind. Then, I passed around the painting and my statue of Elephant that I use to commune with him, asking each person to look at the painting, to imprint the symbol in their mind, and touch the statue to feel the essence of elephant guide them on a journey in time. I went on my own meditation as well.

On my journey, I was reminded by Elephant that I still focused too much on the future and past. I was too caught up in the what ifs. I'll admit, this is something I continue to struggle with. In some ways I live entirely too much in my head and in those what ifs, for escape, for fantasy, but also a vivid imagination. He said it blocked me from being as aware as I needed to be of the present and just living in the moment.

Still, I have to admit that what really hit me tonight were the words that M, one of the other participants shared about his own experience with Elephant. He said he was told, "Forget Time to find yourself." And as much as I recognize that phrase was for M, I also felt it was for me. I'm caught in linear time, focused on the future, focused on the past, but not in the present. It's in forgetting linear time, forgetting that tendency to focus on the extremes of time, and to be in the present, aware of the opportunity in the now that I could find myself. I feel as if I heard a key click in a door and since Elephant is the gatekeeper of time...

Some musings on Time and Desire

I did another meditation with Elephant tonight about time. In this case we ended up focusing on desire and how when desire turns into obsession, it actually makes it much harder to manifest a possibility into reality. Elephant explained this by showing how desire tends to push a person's thoughts toward the future, as opposed to experiencing the present. Because the focus of the desire is on the future, there's less acceptance that the desire could manifest in the present. He used as an example a very specific desire I have that I've put a lot of energy into, but nonetheless have continued to focus on consciously, in terms of longing for the manifestation of that desire. Instead of forgetting about the desire consciously and focusing on other things, I've allowed it to become something of an obsession and consequently all the conscious thought I put toward it ends up actually pushing it further and further away from manifesting into reality. The reason is simple: I'm continually focusing on when it will occur and when I think of it occurring, I think of it happening in the future!

I never thought about desire in this way, but it makes a lot of sense. It's similar to how sigils work. You create a sigil, you fire it, and you forget it. If you don't forget it, then it becomes harder for it to manifest, because you're not programming your subconscious to accept and allow that possibility to exist in your life.

Elephant advised focusing on the present, being more aware of the opportunities and situations happening around me, and letting the desire go from my conscious mind. This way I can actually allow it to manifest into reality, because I'm no longer putting effort into keeping it in the future. I actually see where I'm letting this happen in a couple of different situations in my life, beyond the one he specifically focused on...so it's time to apply this new awareness to the situation.

And you know I do realize that in different forms, this concept is already present in occult theory, but I like how elephant presented it. It actually makes sense to me in a very grounded way that other variants haven't really displayed.

Walking the web with Elephant

Tonight I decided to do some work with Elephant and time. I went into my ritual room and put on the necklace I associate with Elephant and the bracelet of Elephant hair and then pulled out the statue which wears the other bracelet of Elephant hair, as well as my painting for elephant. then I turned out the lines and sat in front of the statue and centered myself, so I could get focused on Elephant's presence. When I was ready, I laid down and keeping a hand on the statue, allowed myself to travel to the silver web. Once there, Elephant started discussing memory, not so much as a stable picture of the past, but rather as an active re-imagining of it, as well as an influencer of the present, and a dream of the future. He then talked about how being aware of your present circumstances was very important to really working with time.

"You are too focused on the future...not just you, but so many others as well"

He showed me several incidents, including one from today where I'd gotten caught up in future imagining of wishful dreams, while ignoring information in the present that could've told me that such an imagining was just a diversion of energy and thought better put elsewhere. The information was there all along...I'd intuitively acknowledged it, but still ignored it with my conscious mind, until I couldn't ignore it because information was presented that showed me that what I hoped for wasn't going to happen.

"Pay more attention to the present moments and the information in them...that will show you what paths you can take, and there are always multiple paths."

So then he also pointed out how elephants always have to be aware of a lot of information happening around them all the time. They can't just blindly look ahead. They need to listen to the vibrations and communication from other elephants, but also the land, as well as pay attention to their memory of a place, so they can find their way. Elephant said that the silver web has it's own vibrations and even as I can create my own paths, it's a wise idea to pay attention those vibrations as I navigate through time's possibilities.

"The more aware you are of the information available to you, the easier it is to pick out the possibilities that are most available to you, or find your way around obstacles that'd hold you back from a possibility you want to work with."

So I'm coming away from all of this with a realization that yes, sometimes I do live too much in the future, and I want to focus more on what's around me that I'm not noticing as much, and use that awareness to help me with my time work.

After I finished the work with elephant, I did a fan dance as a way to close the the sacred space and thank elephant. I have a fan, one of those ones you can hold open with one hand, that spreads out in a half circle, and I started dancing with it, using it to express my thanks. It was fun to close the ritual that way, and allow myself some artistic creativity with using the fan as a ritual tool. I plan on working with it more, in the future.

Space/Time Connection Working

I've been getting pinged by the Spider Goddess of time quite a bit since I switched over from emptiness to Time to come and do a getting to now you ritual of sorts. It was that this evening, but also more than just that. I went to my ritual room and pulled out the voyager deck and from it constructed a circle and triangle for ceremonial work. I've decided that I'm no longer going to use the voyager deck for divinatory work...just for the ceremonial/experimental magic I've been using the deck for the majority of the time.

After I constructed the circle and triangle, I pulled out the paintings for Elephant, Purson, Thiede, and the Spider Goddess, as well as the memory box I use to access the silver web of time. I then first approached Elephant and asked for entrance through the gates of time. He said yes, and told me to also make some more time for him, so we could explore some facets he could show me in regards to time. I took the key from him, and fit it into the loc of the memory box, and opened the box.

I called out to Purson to be guide through time, to Thiede to be my guide through space and they both came, my guardians on journeys into the silver web. Then I reached out to the spider goddess and she told me that tonight we'd work on utilizing the silver web to make a particular connection happen. She told me to think about what connection I might like to make, and then told me to shuffle the rest of the Voyager deck to pull out th cards that represented me and the connection I wanted to make. First I pulled out the seeker card, for myself (how appropriate), but I had to do a lot of thinking about what I wanted to connect. I decided, in the end, not to connect with a specific person or entity, but rather to connect with an archetypal awareness that I could present some information to about the connection I wanted to make. The Spider Goddess thought this was a good idea, and I proceeded to shuffle and pull a card that represented that awareness.

I then activated the magical circle for connecting with that awareness and putting my own card into the memory box and setting it on the altar, proceeded to explain at length what I was looking for. Then I and that awareness shuffled the cards from the elemental hexagon deck and from that we pulled out what I would consider to be a confirmation of those attributes, but also an imprint of them into the archetype, so it could seek out what I was looking for. After that the spider goddess suggested that she and I shuffle the cards a second time. So we did that, and the second spread revealed/set the path by which the possibility I was seeking would manifest.

The spider goddess also pointed to a specific book on my shelf Fusion of the Five Elements by Mantak Chia, and said I should start doing the exercise in that book for my morning daily ritual. The emptiness working has deconstructed all of my former energetic structures and the Fusion of the five elements is a practice that creates a spiritual embryo (among other things)...she seemed to feel it would be useful for me, so I'll be starting that practice as of tomorrow. Then I closed it all down. Overall, an interesting working, with more to undoubtedly come.

Into Time and Space

After I finished my emptiness ritual and had cleansed myself of the paint, I moved right into the ritual to accept time as the new element. I put on the bracelet of elephant hair, and the elephant necklace and put before me the painting to elephant. I asked elephant if elephant would allow me to enter the gates of time and was told yes. Then I evoked Purson and Thiede as my guides through the silver web of time and space. I did an exercises of putting increments of time into each other until the increments become meaningless.

I opened the memory box, which is my gateway to the silver web and put both my hands on its sides. And I traveled along the silver web until I came to the center, where the Spider Goddess of Time awaited me. She held up the book of her mysteries and said, "It's good you have this back, now paint what I show you."

I pulled out my paintbrush and waters color and painted a web of time. Just one colors, lots of silver-gray...I asked her...was this really it? And she told me that my perceptions of time were too limited by human made standards of time. That what I painted wasn't even so much a symbol as a way of relating to time and space, a way of moving past the linear perceptions and measurements that mark time by human standards. She told me that this year would be a move away from the mystical path I've been on, back to more of a focus on magic, but also a focus on changing those limited perceptions on time...that all the material she'd put in my path the last couple of months was partial prep work for the workings ahead.

And with that, she stopped my hand, looked at my work and said, "Start with this and see what it teaches you."

Then I closed the gate to the silver web of time and gave my thanks to Thiede, Purson, and Elephant...and to her, the spider goddess of time. And so that's the beginning into the element of time.

The Spider Goddess of Time Sigil