I've continued experimenting with ear plugs while meditating and thought I would share what I learned.
Magical Experiments podcast October 2016
Miss an episode of Magical Experiments podcast in October? Here are all the episodes, plus a couple of book reviews!
Magical Experiments: Tarot Sorcery with Rune Emerson
Magical Experiments: The Pop Culture Magick of Dehara with Storm Constantine
Magical Experiments: The Role of Consent in Initiation with Katessa Harkey and Jonathan Mooney
Magical Experiments: How We Work with Bune and Eligos with Felix Warren
Magical Experiments: The History of Fascism and Occultism with Dr. Amy Hale
Book Review: Daoist Nei Gong: The Philosophical Art of Change by Damo Mitchell
This is an excellent introduction to Nei Gong. While I've already had some experience with Taoist meditation, I found that all of the material was presented was very helpful in either introducing me to new concepts or getting me to think about what I already knew from a different angle. The exercises have also been helpful. I've integrated them into my daily process. I like the author's emphasis on tactile awareness. Too many books on this focus on visualization, so reading a book on this topic with a focus on tactile awareness was refreshing and helpful.
Book Review: Tibetan Yogas of Body, Speech, and Mind by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche
This is an excellent book that explores the various Dzogchen meditation practices. In this book the author introduces readers to practices of the body, speech and mind. Each of the practices is walked through and explained so that the reader can try them. I recommend doing the exercises regularly. After you've done them for a bit, you'll start to notice how your mental and physical state of being changes. The author does cover some of these practices in is other books, but what I like about this book is that he presents a different perspective that helps you deepen your understanding of those practices, complementing what he's shared in the other works. If you want to do internal work, this book is a great place to start or continue your journey.
Book Review: Temple Magic by William G. Gray
This is another excellent book by William G. Gray. In it he discusses at length the fundamentals of creating a temple as well as a community around the temple. What I like is that regardless of what your approach to magic is, you can apply this information to your practice. This book is also helpful for getting you to look at your magic from a systems perspective, which is helpful if you are designing a system of your own or working in an existing one but wanting to refine it. This book will help you understand some of the deeper mysteries of magic and is well worth the investment of your time and effort.
Ear plugs and meditation
I recently got ear plugs to see how they'd affect my meditation work. I discuss what differences I've noticed as a result of using ear plugs.
How I come up with magical experiments pt 6
In part 6 I share the temporal consecration prayers and discuss how a experiment where I used them as well as possible future work I'll do with them.
Elemental Balancing Ritual Stillness Month 24
9-26-16 Sometimes stillness meditation isn't about stillness, but is about the state of mind stillness puts me in. I won't be able to fully still my mind, but I can think about things that are on my mind in a way that allows me to put information together and make decisions differently than in my everyday consciousness. So I'll start thinking about a problem and come up with a solution in stillness meditation that would've taken me longer to achieve outside of it. It makes me realize that sometimes being still is really just allowing myself to look at a situation or problem differently.
10-1-16 The last few days I've felt like I've been in a whirlwind. There are so many ideas in my head, so much awareness around what I need to modify and change. It's a bit intimidating, to be honest, but I know I'm up for the challenge. And in the midst of all of it, just practicing stillness, becoming the calm center and keeping myself open to opportunity, while also staying focused on the prize.
10-4-16 The last few days I've been visually mapping what I'll be working on and how I'll be working on it. Doing that is helping me to wrap my head around the work I'll be doing over the next few months. I'm excited about the work and the possible results that will occur if I just knuckle down and do it.
10-5-16 Today it really hit me. I've once again decided to embark on some huge changes and there was this sense of fear and panic. I allowed myself to feel it, to fully step into it and it was terrifying. Change is terrifying and ironically in the midst of all this stillness work I've probably done more changing than I'd ever done before. Yet the lesson in all of this is really finding that center of stillness and still going through with the change. Stillness isn't about being static (or at least it shouldn't be). Stillness has taught me to be present with the change, to accept it for what it is and what it can do for me, but also not to just react to it. And feelings like fear and panic are reactions. So I can be still and feel those feelings and accept them and they may even inform some of why I act, but in being still with them I can get to the narrative underneath and start working with it.
10-14-16 The last couple of weeks I've been very focused on working on my online marketing. The light came on and I could see what I needed to do differently and that's pretty much informed everything I've done since then. I get this way on occasion, where the totality of my being is wrapped up in what I'm working on and I disappear into it. I suppose that's a kind of stillness as well. I haven't really felt still though. I've felt restless, my mind racing in a lot of a different directions. Not what you want when you're trying for stillness, but sometimes I'm just that way and I still strive to achieve stillness and I'm glad I do, because if I let a moment of restlessness stop me from doing the work than I've given up. If I keep trying though...there will days I won't hit stillness, but there will also be days I do.
10-18-16 Sometimes the best moments of stillness are found in the quiet moments you share with people who are important to you. You could cuddle with a lover or friend, or enjoy an experience and in that moment there's nothing to be said. It's just about appreciating you and the experience of the person with you.
10-19-16 Today I used ear plugs when doing my stillness meditation. It was interesting because suddenly all I could hear was my heart. It was a very intimate experience and I found myself paying close attention to my heart beat and using that to lead me to a place of stillness. I'll keep trying the ear plugs out and see what else comes up as a result.
10-20-16 Sometimes it is hard to be patient with myself. I'm working my way through a class that will help me make some differences to my business, but part of me wants it all done now and when I haven't made a lot of progress because of other circumstances, I get impatient. The thing is sometimes circumstances do come up and they have to be dealt with. This week a lot of domestic matters have come up that have required my attention because I'm the person holding down the home front. So part of stillness is reminding myself to be patient, get to the work when I can, but also take care of the home. And I also know that implementing what I'm working on will take time and its better to be thorough than to rush it.
10-21-16 Yesterday I didn't use ear plugs and today I did. The only noticeable difference so far is that the ear plugs make me more aware of my bodily rhythms, which is still significant in its own right. Still it's early to come to any conclusion, so I'll keep experimenting with them and seeing what happens over a longer period of time.
In other news I'm 40 today. I've been thinking about that a lot this month. I don't know if its really more significant or not, other than it marks the ending of my third decade of life and the beginning of my fourth. When I look back on my thirties I see a stormy beginning and then gradually my life stabilizing. I feel like I figured what I really want to do with my life, in my thirties, as well as who/what is really important to me. Now as I turn 40 I want the next decade to really be about bringing all of that together. I've had my struggles and successes...I've learned a lot and I look forward to continuing to learn even more.
Happy Birthday to me.
Why magic and psychology aren't the same
This week I talk about why magic and psychology aren't the same and the problems I have when people try to explain one discipline with another discipline.
How I experiment with magic pt 5
In part 5, I discuss how to verify information about spirits you're working with, especially if you don't know a lot about them. I use Suvuviel as an example and explain how I verified the information he presented to me. Tao of Craft by Benebell Wen
Temple Magic by William G. Gray
How do you measure your work with Spirits: Influence versus Results
Lately I've been thinking about my work with spirits and how I measure the success of that work. It seems to me that people sometimes have unrealistic expectations of working with spirits. The unrealistic expectation is that really they want the spirit to do the work for them. The reason that expectation is unrealistic is because it demonstrates a lack of understanding about how spirits interact with our world, versus how we interact with the world.
It perhaps doesn't help that what some people really want is a physical, visual manifestation of the spirit, something that'll smack 'em in the face. Something obvious that shows yes these spirits are real. Consequently what I see are people looking very hard for that obvious sign of manifestation and missing everything else that would help them recognize they have connected with a spirit.
When I've worked with spirits, what I've learned is that your average spirit isn't going to solve your problem for you. Nor is the spirit going to manifest and smack you in the face to prove it exists. The spirit doesn't need to prove anything to me, or you, or anyone else.
Case Study: My work with Bune
Bune is really popular right now and I've gotten a few queries from people who tried to work with him and been unsuccessful, so far as they know, in theirs to connect with him. I think part of the problem, on their end is that they seem fairly desperate, and when you're desperate in any type of situation, its not an attractive feature. However, more than that the impression I get is that the people really just want someone else to fix their problems, and Bune doesn't work that way. He's not going to solve your problems for you. He has no interest in fixing your problems. And if you don't pay attention to the signals that he's sending you, well he won't care about that either. Afterall, that's on you, not him.
When I first connected with Bune, I did the work without any expectations of material gain or outcomes. I wasn't looking for him to manifest a specific dollar amount or to make me fabulously wealthy. Really what I wanted was to learn about wealth, and the difference in that desired result versus a specific dollar amount or becoming fabulously wealthy is distinct.
I wasn't looking for a manifested result from him. I was looking for influence from him.
I didn't want Bune to solve my problems. I wanted Bune to be an influencer, to point me in the right direction, to make suggestions that I could either follow or ignore. In short, what I really wanted was a voice on my shoulder, at the right time and right space, to point something out. And then leave it up to me to do what I needed to do with the information he provided.
After all, he's a spirit...he doesn't have the same corporeal reality I have. He has access to perspectives and possibilities I don't necessarily have access to. I have access to the physical reality and the ability to turn a possibility into a manifested reality through my actions.
So Bune hasn't solved all my problems, but you know what he has done? He's pointed me in the right direction, to opportunities I might not have discovered otherwise. He's helped me connect with the right people and he also helped me realize how I could create a third viable business, which has significantly improved my resources and continues to, to this day.
But guess what?
I had to do all the work. I had to make the decision to take advantage of the opportunities pointed out to me. I had to talk to the people he indicated I should meet with and I had to start the third business and do the necessary work to make it viable.
Bune continues to be an influencer in my life. He'll show up every so often, and point me to a possible opportunity and then be on his way. Recently he pointed me toward an online conference I'm currently taking classes from. The information is excellent and if I can apply it (which I know I can) it will help my businesses. But its up to me to do the work. Bune has done his part.
This is how I work with spirits in general
Whether its an entity I've created or a demon or Deity I've chosen to work with, the work, across the board, is the same. The desired influence may be different...but its really about influence as opposed to specific results. What I make of that influence is what creates the specific results I'm looking for.
You want to know what the real secret working with spirits is? You've got to be willing to open yourself up to them....let them in. And that is hard for magicians to do, because magic, in some ways, is all about being in control. So people get this idea of summoning a spirit and compelling the spirit to solve their problems, because then it means they are in control. And being in control is really not about letting a spirit in or allowing it to be a source of influence in your life. Being in control is getting what you want, when you want it, which is why so many magicians suck when it comes to working with spirits, because they are trying too hard to be in control.
When I work with a spirit, I let go of the need to be in control and instead work with the spirit as a collaborative partner. I give the spirit its due and listen to its advice and then I make my choices, recognizing that in the end it is up to me to either follow the advice or not, either take on the influence or let it go.
As the Rolling Stones song goes, "You don't always get what you want, but you do get what you need."
My work with the spirits has always gotten what I needed, if I paid attention and if I follow through on my end it usually gets me what I want as well.
How I come up with experiments part 4
In part 4 of how I come up with experiments, I discuss why I've created specific offerings using art and how those offerings can serve a double purpose.
How to harness the multiplicity of you
I've never really believed in the singular notion of identity. I've always embraced the multiplicity of identity: That it's possible to be multiple people at once. When I was 18 I was diagnosed with Multiple Personality Disorder (MPD), likely because I was telling him about I was talking with faeries and spirits. Yet when I heard about this diagnosis, I was intrigued. Could I really be a multiplicity of me? Was I more than the singular perspective I had of myself?
In the years since, I've embraced the multiplicity of myself, recognizing I didn't need to settle for one version of myself. In fact, I found that by purposely setting up multiple versions of myself, I could actually learn more and do more than if I stayed as a singular unit. Now I haven't yet mastered bi-location in the physical sense of the world, but a person's mind can be so much more than just the perspective of a singular entity.
I found that the identity of a singular self is largely an illusion anyway. Whether we realize it or not, we really have multiple versions of ourselves within us. One version of yourself might come out for work to help you interact with co-workers and draw on your knowledge and skills. Another version might come out when you come home to spend time with your family. Yet another version will show itself when you hit the bar with your friends, or when your actively pursuing an interest. And when you're alone, yet another version pops up.
Now you can tell yourself that all these versions are the same person, and you're right they are, but all these versions are also distinct, created in part to help you navigate the various situations you find yourself in. They operate on a subconscious level, like a program running on your computer in the background.
What you can do is purposely choose to interact with these versions of yourself and put them to work in your favor.
One of the ways I've done this is to create a version of myself that focuses on a specific subject area, such as neuroscience, or ceremonial magic. That self is responsible for cataloging and organizing all information about that topic area. When I need to draw on that information for writing or presenting or experiments, its immediately available.
Aside from having versions focused on specific subject areas and disciplines, I also have versions of myself that are responsible for specific tasks, such as cleaning or driving.
And over all of it, I have my identity, what faces inward and outward to the world. It makes sense to me and it allows me to process a lot of information quickly.
So how do you do it?
Go into a meditative state, where you then visualize a temple. In temple are rooms. Each room is about a specific topic, subject, discipline, or skill. In each room, visualize another you at work organizing and handling all the information in that room. That version of you is always present but only interfaces with the main version of you when information is needed. You can, of course, go back and visit the temple and individual rooms at any time. Every time you read a book or do an activity or whatever else, the appropriate version of you catalogues the experience and information and then makes it available whenever you next need it.
There's really not much else you need to do. It's not complicated and you may find that you already have versions of yourself at work in the rooms in your temple. What you're really doing is organizing your mental space more effectively, and putting part of yourself to work so that you have the information you need, when you want it.
Note: This article was originally posted on Patreon. If you'd like advanced access to all my writing (including first drafts of books), become my patron.
Magical Experiments September 2016 podcasts
Did you miss an episode of magical experiments in September...well fear not, you can listen to all of the episodes here:
Magical Experiments: Mental illness and magic pt 2 with Felix Warren, Lilian Wrenrick and Colleen Chitty
Magical Experiments: Reiki and Herbalism with Jonathan Evans
Magical Experiments: The pop culture magick of Disneyland with Felix Warren interviewing me
Magical Experiments: Urban Magic with Vincent Piazza, William Mayes and Rune Emerson
If you enjoy the podcasts, please become my patron. Your patronage supports the costs of the podcast.
How I come up with magical experiments pt 3
In part 3 I discuss my initial contact protocol for working with spirits and how that helps me get additional information and establish a relationship from which further work can be done. In working with spirits, I think its really important to establish a process for how you will develop the relationship in order to do the experiments you want to do. And to pick up the book I showed you in the video, go here.
Elemental Balancing Ritual Stillness month 23
8-27-16 After I committed to working with stillness for another year, I had another of those gravitational experiences, where I felt like I was a center of mass that was bringing things toward me by just being still. It was fascinating that it happened after the commitment, kind of a way of Stillness acknowledging my choice and perhaps spurring me on as well. It was tantalizing to experience, and So I just allowed myself to experience it without filtering it or trying to control it. In one sense it was really a surrender to stillness, and that realization provides an important clue about the gravitational experiences.
8-28-16 I had a fascinating experience today with Stillness. Everything slowed down, but instead of being a gravitational effect, or a possibility effect, it was an effect where I could see how all the pieces of events or actions fit together and I could also see how they could be fit together alternatively for different results. It was a distinct state of experience from the latter two, yet similar to them in some ways as well. I'd never experienced it before, via this meditation (though I've had a similar state of experience on other occasions). Being able to activate these various states of consciousness at will would be quite useful, but even in just doing this work it's revealing a lot to me about the nature and depth of stillness.
8-31-16 Throughout my journey into stillness, shame has been a part of the journey. I'm reading a book called Unashamed that I got through Vine. It's a Christian's take on shame. I hadn't expected that when I got the book through Vine, but I'm finding it to be a fascinating read and relevant to the work I'm doing with shame. You might wonder why shame keeps coming up with stillness, but my sense of it is that when you still yourself, you come up against the parts of your life you've been moving away from. Stillness is about being, so naturally shame and other related emotions come up. It's an invitation to work through the shame and so much of this journey has really been about shame as about stillness. I'm glad for that because it has been quite liberating.
9-3-16 I've been learning about some vibrations chants a person can use to deal with different physical conditions. I'm going to experiment with them, but also see if I can't intersperse them with silence (stillness) and see what happens as a result. It's part of the practice in any case, but I'm finding it fascinating how much sound and silence connect together, and of course it's been this work with stillness that's lead me down this route.
9-6-16 Some people will always judge you by who you were and the mistakes you've made. I had lunch with one of my authors who told me that a case of guilt by association occurred. We talked about it and I was transparent about me and my flaws and my work toward addressing those flaws. I am most certainly not a perfect person and I have done some stupid things. I've also worked hard to address the issues underlying those actions and to make the appropriate changes. And regardless I know some people will still judge me for who I was. That's part of life and what I've learned is to keep doing the work to become a better person and let go of attachment to caring about how people might judge me. It's always easier after all to throw a rock at someone, rather than actually take a good hard look at your shit and actually do the responsible thing of owning it and working on it. I prefer the latter course, because while it's initially harder, it gets a lot easier as you keep going.
9-7-16 When you have different parts of yourself that have unexpressed needs, what you have to discover is how to met those needs sanely and in a healthy manner that respects the boundaries of all people involved with you. With stillness work I have sometimes really come up close to a part of myself that feels a need or desire, but it isn't being expressed, and so what stillness has allowed me to do is communicate with that part and figure out what can be done to express that need. I think this could be applied to other people, in terms of helping them discover how to meet their needs and wants, in a manner that is healthy and respectful. Today I figured out a way to address a need of mine by interacting with that part of myself that needed an acknowledgement and an outlet. I've figured out what the outlet will be and have already started work on the first expression of it.
9-8-16 I said I was feeling tired earlier, but as I sat with that feeling...nope the tired is just the surface level narrative. I'm feeling pissed off, irritable and pessimistic. I get this way sometimes, and I know what's making me feel this way. Some of its dealing with politics as usual in the Pagan community, some of its my own self doubt rearing its head, and some of it is just ongoing issues that need to be worked through but sometimes are very hard to work through. I'll get over it, but it feels good to express it, albeit in a place where I won't necessarily get expressions of sympathy, which is the last thing I need.
9-11-16 It hit me today that ten years ago I was living in Seattle. I only lived there for a year, but still I came to the Pacific Northwest ten years ago (well technically 10 and a half years ago). So much has happened since then, good and bad. More good than bad, and I've worked for hard it. I'm in Seattle right now for the Esoteric Book Conference, so it hit me as I was driving into Seattle, remembering driving the moving truck so long ago.
9-12-16 Sometimes I feel so awkward and ashamed of my enthusiasm. I can get very enthused about a project or a person and their work and I realize it can be really intense and off-putting. I remember when I was younger how I learned to temper my enthusiasm, to rein back my interest, because people would get weird. I felt passion for something someone was doing and it became clear it was too much. They would pull back. I learned to pull back first, but occasionally I still get really enthusiastic. So I'm feeling some shame around that and sitting with it. In Unashamed, the author mentions how people clothe themselves with their shame...basically how the shame of what they feels becomes a means of hiding the narrative underneath and I think she's got a point. So sitting with shame over something is important because you uncover the narrative by feeling the shame and letting it teach you. In this case what it teaches me is about acceptance or the fear of not being accepted.
9-16-16 My brother called me tonight to tell me that my dad had some health issues come up. Hearing the news was shocking. I know he had issues, but I didn't know everything and now I do. And it makes me more aware of my own mortality and how important it is to keep exercising and taking care of myself. I'll be forty in a little over a month and I feel better than I have because of the exercising I'm doing, but this brings it home even more. It also makes me even happier that I visited him last month.
9-19-16 At this point I've pretty much decided I'm done with the Pagan convention scene. An exchange I had earlier today just demonstrates that the convention organizers have no real interest in being transparent or fair. The apathy on the presenter side of it equally convinces me that most presenters are fine with the current system, even though it screws them over. It's discouraging and disappointing, but it also illustrates why going my own way is ultimately a better choice for me, because the system isn't tenable as is.
9-21-16 It's been a chaotic few days and stillness has been hard to reach. I suppose in a way that just illustrates why its a good idea for me to work with stillness for another year. The work I've done with stillness in the last couple years has helped me go really deep into places I'd have feared to venture before. And its brought a measure of peace and contentment I've never known. So I look at these last few days and consider the circumstances for what they are and recognize how far I've come AND how much further I can go. This elemental balancing work has always been about doing the internal work and a necessary part of doing that work is being present with what is revealed so you can learn more.
How I come up with experiments part 2
In part 2 I share how important research is for magical experiments and use a case study to demonstrate my research process for creating the temporal consecration prayers.
How I come up with experiments
I thought I would share how I come up with experiments. I tend to have a very curious approach to life and I like discovering what's missing or how something could be taken further.
What I'm currently working on in my magical practice
Thought I would share what I'm currently working on in my magical practice for this week's video.
The Role of Lineage in your System of Magic
Note: An advance copy of this article was shared on my Patreon.
As I've been working on my latest book, Pop Culture Magic Systems, one of the frequent topics on my mind is the role of a person's spiritual lineage or history in relationship to creating a system of magic. A system of magic is created as a result of different influences and the spiritual lineage a person has access to is one of those influences. Let me share with you an example, namely my own spiritual lineage.
My spiritual lineage isn't the types of magic I've practiced, but rather specific influences that I consistently integrate into my practice. Those influences can be specific people or specific books or something else. Whatever they are, they continue to exert an influence on my spiritual practice and on the experiments I come up with. When I look at my magical work, the influences, the lineage I see is of specific people: Franz Bardon, Antero Alli, William G. Gray, William S. Burroughs, R. J. Stewart, B. K. Frantzis, Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche, A.R. Heaver and Edward Schiappa. I haven't met most of these people in person, but they nonetheless have exerted a significant influence on my spiritual practices, and while there have been other sources of inspiration they haven't had the same level of influence of lasting power that these aforementioned people have.
I see the mark of these people in my work, in how I think about magic, how I practice it, and how I experiment with it. They are a lineage of sorts that I draw on. Now your lineage likely won't be the same as mine, but you have one. You have people who are significant to you and your spiritual practice, that influence how you think about and practice magic, and when you recognize that significance, it causes you to look at all of your work in a different way. You don't see it as a singular work, but rather as part of a continuum of work.
Your system of magic is shaped by that continuum. Your lineage is alive and speaks through your system to you, and to anyone else using your approach to magic. When you look at your system, take a moment to recognize who shows up in it. When you see who shows up, what it reveals to you is not just your own ideas and thoughts but also how you have taken the thoughts and idea and practices of others and integrated them into your own work. The importance of that recognition is that it teaches us how to make our lineage live on, and also helps us realize that magic cannot be static. It builds on what came before and changes what came before into what is (in the moment).
When we recognize the role of the past in the work of today, we also sow the seeds of the future.
Genuine magical experimentation doesn't occur in a void. It happens in context to whatever else is significant in your life and work. When you look at who came before you and how they influenced your work and then you see it in your experiments, in your personalized systems of magic, you also discover how to take the past and push it into the future, to evolve the work that's been done into the work that can be discovered and revealed.
My experimentation only started a couple years after I began practicing magic, but those first couple years were important for providing the experiences and foundation I needed to be able to experiment. And so its continued to be the case throughout my own practice. I learn from others and bring what I learn into my experimentation, in order to see how I can take what I've learned to the next level.
What is your lineage? How does that lineage show up in your magical work?
August 2016 Magical Experiments Podcast and Book Reviews
Magical Experiments: Jail Breaking the Goddess with LaSara Firefox Allen
Magical Experiments: Pop Culture Magic Systems with Terra Akhert
Magical Experiments: Mental Illness and Magic pt 1 with Annwyn Avalon, Gigi and Chach M. Heart
Book Review: Quabalistic Concepts by William G. Gray
On the surface this book is about the Quabala and how to to learn and work with the Quabala. A deeper reading reveals that this book is really about how to develop a viable system of magic. The Quabala is used as an example, but the principles and practices that Gray shares in this book can be used for other models of magic. This is one of the best books I've read about magic, because it takes a technical look at what's involved in creating a system of magic as well as how you develop the necessary connections and work around the system. Whether you're looking to understand Quabala better or want to develop your own system of magic, this is a must read book. Note: The author does have some biases that will offend some people reading the book. Just recognize he was a product of his time and culture.
Book Review: Allies and Enemies: How the World Depends on Bacteria by Anne Maczulak
This was a fascinating book about bacteria, in the world, in the bodies of humans and animal,s and just in general. What I like about the book is that the author does a lot to explain how the world relies on bacteria. When you read the book you learn about how bacteria can be harmful, but also how it can be helpful and also how we set up some of the problems we experience with bacteria. If you want to learn more about bacteria, the author also includes some additional resources. I found this book very helpful for my own studies and research around how to work with bacteria and would recommend it to anyone who is curious to learn more about the role of bacteria in our lives.
How protection magic is integrated into my daily work
In this video, I share how I integrate protection magic into my daily works, as well as my overall approach to practical magic, which involves stacking magical workings on to activities already being done to achieve the optimal use of one's efforts.
Elemental Balancing Ritual Stillness Month 22: Keep on Keeping on
7-24-16 There are some days when I meditate where I don't have really deep experiences, where it can even be a struggle to hit the meditative state. I had one of those days today. When it happens I end up focusing on the struggle and that becomes its own meditative experience. What it reveals are the tensions within that need to be resolved, worked through and unfolded. The struggle may not lead you to a deeper state, but what it will lead you to work through whatever is holding you back.
7-29-16 Sometimes stillness is drifting on the current of possibilities without taking any action. You can feel the possibilities around you and you can explore them without doing anything. Just being, crystallized, aware and drifting. It's quite peaceable to be still and just feel what could be without necessarily doing anything to make it happen.
7-31-16 What I enjoy most about writing is the challenge of writing. Each book, each article, is its own challenge and the challenge is really what you discover about the topic, yourself, etc., in relationship to the actual writing. When I write, I'm not just putting words on a page. I'm actively discovering the subject, my identity, and so much else. Reality opens when I write. I coax it to reveal secrets that I might liberate them and share them with everyone else. And in return I give something of myself.
8-4-16 I'm in South Dakota visiting my dad. It's interesting to visit a place where my ancestors have lived, to learn more about them, and also to be in this place that hosted some of my family. I feel a connection to this land. It's not a connection that says I need to life here, but it is a connection that says please acknowledge me and acknowledge this place which helped shape your ancestors and had some role in your life as well. I felt a similar connection to the New England area where my mom's side of the family originate from. I didn't realize it back then, but I see it now.
8-5-16 A person is never shaped in a void. The behaviors, the choices, and the actions are the responsibility of the person, but they are also contextually shaped by the experiences they've had, by the people who've acted on them, by the history of family and community. I see this in relationship to my dad. I've asked him questions about his life, seen places that are meaningful to him, presently and in the past, and in his stories have learned about not just him, but my aunt (who I never met) and my grandparents and great grandparents. I'll never know the entire story, because I wasn't there, but even in what is not said, one can learn a lot if one pays attention. I feel sad I never met my aunt, and feel a deeper sense of compassion for my dad and his experiences, as I weigh them in relationship to my own childhood and experiences thereafter. I see my own choices and actions in a different light. Context changes so much and should never be ignored, for what it reveals can help you situate what you've experienced, can help you understand and can open you to feeling compassion for the people in your life.
8-7-16 I'm back from South Dakota. It was a good trip. I learned a lot about my ancestors on my dad's side of the family and got some stuff figured out as a result that helped me with some internal work I've been doing around family. Life is too short to hold on to blockages, but sometimes the only way to work through those blockages involves discovering the context around them. In some ways this trip was very much about that for me.
8-11-16 The hardest thing about sitting with shame is the being present with the emotion. You want to run away. You want to hide. Because when you feel shame you are really being called on your issues and the challenge is what will you do with what you feel? Will you bury it? Will you pretend its not there? Will you beat yourself up with it? Or will you simply hold space with it, feel it, and let it open you up to the deeper truths that you're really scared of? The hardest thing to do of all the options and yet paradoxically the easiest is to just sit with it and feel it and allow what you feel to liberate you with the insights you get from it. The reason its the hardest thing to do is because you actually have to feel your shame...really feel it. The reason its the easiest is because once you feel it and get to the underlying narrative, you are no longer the captive of your shame. Of course, this also depends on what actions you take to to deal with the source of your shame.
I've done a lot of work around shame this year, but sometimes I still struggle to sit with it. It is an emotion that really forces you to see yourself up close and personal, beyond any deceits you tell yourself. To see yourself so rawly, to see your weaknesses and flaws and feel them so intimately is hard work, yet it is also necessary work. You can't change yourself without being willing to dig in and discover who you are and come to a better relationship with all of yourself. And really to make any change to yourself, you need to actually accept who you are and discover why you are the way you are...then those changes can be made.
My recent trip to South Dakota and hearing about my family history gave me a lot to consider and recognize about myself. I could see how who I am has been shaped by my family, even in cases where I never met the person. And that then changes my relationship with shame as well because I am able to see that narrative from another angle.
I'm still sitting with my shame and I'm still struggling with it sometimes and I'm ok with that.
8-13-16 I did a meditation today where I accessed my ancestors, used the genetics and my time awareness to touch on their lives, to touch on them. It's interesting how much the trip to South Dakota has prompted me to explore my past. The experience was kind of like Jean Auel's description of how the one group of humans used their memories to go back to their past and relive the lives of their ancestors. It gives me some ideas for further exploration in regards to space/time magic, but also provides some more context to shape and work in relationship the past and future of this embodiment of life I am.
8-21-16 I've decided to extend my work with the element of stillness for another year, which will make it the longest amount of time in which I've worked with an element. Why another year? I recognize the temptation to stay still forever, though if anything in the time I've worked with stillness so much has changed internally and externally in my life. I've come face to face with a lot of internal work I needed to do, and also experienced the richness of stillness and yet I know I there is more to experience and work with. There are certain states of experience I've just touched on in the last month or so, and I want to work with them deeper, yet I feel it would be a distraction if I shifted to another element. So I'm sticking with Stillness for another year. There is a lot to discover in it that will have direct bearing on other work I am either doing or planning to do over the next ten years.