8-23-15 As I've continued reading about Scarcity and reflected on what I've read, I've come to a fundamental recognition: Scarcity is simultaneously a motivator to action and also what keeps people in a place of discord within themselves as well as with others. Its an experience that is embedded in us physiologically and psychologically. I see it in the various interactions I and others have, in how businesses are run and how relationships are approached. It is a good recognition for me, because it demonstrates how much scarcity is so much more than just a person's choices. Certainly behavior is part of scarcity, but when the environment is set up to encourage scarcity, it makes it much harder to change those behaviors, much harder to find your center in your stillness as well. Nonetheless, I also see ways to approach scarcity that can work, if the person is willing to recognize the environmental aspects and plan for them. And I think part of that is actually found in stillness, in the ability to give yourself moments where you just are, instead of always doing. I have been an always doing kind of person...this last year of stillness work has taught me, more than ever, the value of just being, and how that can enhance your live significantly.
8-30-15 Part of stillness work involves learning how to be still not just with yourself but around other people. It can be hard to be still around people, because it requires you to put aside your attachments to what those people are doing or saying and just be still with what's happening. Yet it can also be a useful exercise for learning how to be present with someone and can show that person that you genuinely want to be present. Lately I've been stilling myself around other people and paying very close attention to those moments when thoughts do surface and I move away from stillness. It's helping me recognize what disturbs my stillness so that I can work with that more closely.
9-4-15 The other day I did a writing exercise from Ensouling Language and one of the questions the author asked is what do you hate. I put myself in that section and in reflecting on that answer I came to realize how much I do hate myself in some ways. It's ingrained from my childhood, when I was told I was a disappointment, told really that I wasn't good enough and never would be. Consequently there's always been part of me that's believed that I'm not worthy of anyone in my life and that I'm useless. Pretty sad and harsh and doing that exercise really helped me get in touch with that part of myself. I expressed it this morning to Kat, really just let her in and recognized in the process how much that part of me has hurt myself, has sabotaged me at different times of my life. I feel, after the fact, a bit drained, but also ready to do more work. Being still has helped me get much deeper into these issues that have dictated my life.
9-9-15 It came to me today, in meditation that stillness will only be until October and then I'll move into the next element. I thought initially it might be two years, because of movement being 2 years, but today it was made clear that stillness is one year and that I need to prep for the next element. I feel good about it. I've learned a lot from stillness, but at a certain point, with any element, its time to transition and it feels that way with stillness.
9-10-15 In my meditation I got further confirmation. I went deep and Zadok appeared and explained that knowing stillness was good, but knowing how to balance stillness with movement, to balance everything is just as important. It points the way to the next element.
9-14-15 In Dealing with People you can't Stand, I learned of a technique called the Pygmalion Power. It intrigues me and I'm going to apply it to myself and see how it helps with behavior modification. Basically they way it works is that you set up an expectation verbally. so for example if you want to encourage positive behavior you tell the person they are special or wonderful...or if you want to change, you might say, "That's not like you, you are X." Quite fascinating (and a bit manipulative), but I can see how it can be applied to create specific changes in behavior in one's self or in other people, especially if you use it to interrupt a person's behavior, causing them to reset.
9-17-15 I've just started to set up a patreon account. I've known about it for a little while, but I was on the fence about it. In thinking about it though I realized it's actually a good idea and seeing a few other people I know who have such accounts and seem to be making it work. I sometimes feel that when it comes magic, I'm ahead of the curve, working on projects and creating new techniques, but when it comes to business, I see other people who seem to do it effortlessly. I'm sure they'd say otherwise, but the perception is there. Still I figure I'm learning how to be better at business with experience and mistake I make.
9-22-15 You can't always control a situation, but you can plan your response to it. A planned response is always better than a reaction. It allows you to put the situation into a context that is favorable to you, and either puts the other person into neutral or puts them into a negative light. Be still, consider how you want to respond and then make the response that provides you a way to come out of the situation favorably.
9-23-15 I've been reading Exorcising the Tree of Evil by William Gray and he talks about lust and how its insatiable. You can't ever satisfy it. It reminded me a lot of emptiness. then later I did my meditation and Gray and Zadok showed up and talked about lust and how stillness could be used in regards to lust. It gave me a lot to consider and really helped me examine my relationship with emptiness, because I could see parallels to lust in what they discussed.