Some musings on time

First, the latest issue of Rending the Veil is available. I've read a few of the articles and it looks good. I've been doing a lot of thinking about some of my recent work with time, particularly the concept of being present in the future without focusing on the future. In some cultures that standard of time is actually part of their perception of it, but in Western culture, there is an emphasis on the future and on sharply regulating time. Edward Hall provides excellent examples of this in the Dance of Life, and I've found his observations to be sound.

I'll admit I've struggled with just being present in the moment. It's such a foreign experience of time that it feels counter-intuitive, yet I also know it offers something valuable to me, because it allows me to work with a different understanding of time. And the moments when I can get into that place of just being present has its own value because I'm much more aware of the possibilities in those moments than I previously was. I've realized that the tendency to focus on the future, to fixate on it, can become an obsession, and is one that many people indulge in without fully appreciating that reality.

I do think there's value in being able to focus on the future and on desired goals you want to achieve, but I've also come to realize there's value in being in the moment and being open to what is available to you. Too often that can be ignored because of a focus on the future. My challenge has been to be more aware of the moment I'm in. Sometimes it's worked and other times, not so much, but undoing the cultural perspective on time that's been held for over 30 years of my life is pretty challenging, so I'm not expecting over night success. Just trying it is more important than anything else, because I'm being open to the experience.

Some thoughts on pop culture personas

I was in Vegas this last weekend and got to see Criss Angel perform. If you don't know who Criss Angel, he is a really popular stage magician. He's been on a couple shows and does some really good performances. He's also quite a favorite of the ladies. The next day I went to a signing he was doing with a friend of mine and it was interesting because when she got to him, he mentioned how tired he looked and how if he took his sunglasses off, he looked like crap and she told him that he'd never look that way. And what was so interesting about that exchange was that Criss the person might feel like crap, but to this fan, my friend, the pop culture persona of Criss could not ever look like or feel like crap...and it was that persona she wanted to interact with, that idealized version of Criss as opposed to the very real person of Criss who was tired and felt like crap that day. To me this exchange demonstrates a fundamental truth of pop culture magic, as applied to celebrities, which is that what fans interact with isn't the real person, but rather the idealized persona god-form of the celebrity. The fan interacts with the celebrity, but not so much with the real person. So Criss, for example, is tired and tells this person that, but to her, he can't be tired or look anything other than how she wants to see him...so what she's interacting with is Criss the pop culture entity, as opposed to Criss the person.

The peril of celebrity is that it creates an entity which is the celebrity persona, who is different from the real person. And it is the celebrity persona entity that ends up taking over most of the interactions that this person has. Fed into this persona is all the expectations and desires of the fans. This persona consequently is the shadow of the real person and can have quite an effect on the real person, in terms of behavior, because that person is trying to live up to fan expectations via the effect the persona has on him/her. There is a stress or pressure on the person that is created by the celebrity persona entity, which is fed by the desires of the fans. Ultimately the behavior of the celebrity can be influenced by those same fans to some degree, because its what feeds the celebrity persona entity.

Book Reviews of 3 books and a link

Metaphors We live By by George Lakoff and Mark Johnson This is a very interesting book, which explores the role of metaphors in the English language and argues that the majority of communication is done in metaphors. In particular the authors explore space and time metaphors which makes for some rather interesting insights to how American culture handles space and time. I highly recommend this book for anyone who enjoys linguistics or wants to explore how language use impacts everyday life. This is a dense read, so you'll need to spend some time working with it, but you'll get a lot out of it.

5 out of 5

The Dance of Life by Edward T. Hall

In this book Hall explores how different cultures approach and integrate the concept of time into their lives. He explores in depth how the cultural differences can impact peoples interactions with each other, as well as how we can be more aware of the cultural differences as it pertains to temporal awareness. I felt that this book wasn't as dynamic as his previous works. I still got a lot out of it, but it did seem like he was rehashing a lot of his earlier work. I'd still recommend it, because he a lot of interesting perspectives to raise.

4 out of 5

Eyes Wide Open by Marianna Caplan

This book raises some tough questions about cultivating spiritual discernment for your own spiritual journey as well as what questions to ask your spiritual teachers. The author's experiences with the various forms of spiritual charlatanry that occur with teachers is evident in how she explains the symptoms and issues to look out for. I found this book very useful for analyzing my own spiritual journey and looking at how I've presented myself to others in a spiritual context. It gave me some valuable tools for evaluating my own journey as well as evaluating people who might claim to have spiritual authority.

5 out of 5

Humans have hidden sensory system

You are your own spiritual teacher

I 'm reading a book called Eyes Wide Open by Mariana Caplan, which is a book about cultivating discernment on the spiritual path. A lot of what she focuses on is  cultivating that discernment with spiritual teachers. My own response to that has been the realization that I've mostly been my own spiritual teacher. I was blessed early on with getting a mentor who showed me the fundamental problem with spiritual teaches: They can never live up to the hype they put out about themselves. So I tend to think of myself as my own spiritual teacher, and I know I have a lot of flaws, so I don't put myself on a pedestal, because I'd fall off pretty quickly. Then again, I'm not really interested in enlightenment either. What I'm really interested in is cultivating a genuine relationship with the universe and the people I'm connected to and myself. And I don't know how enlightened that is, or how enlightened it needs to be. What I do know is that while spirituality is, in some ways, becoming even more of a prevalent issue in peoples lives, it's important to recognize how much each of us has to own our spiritual integrity and experience, instead of relying on the vision of someone else.

In fact, it's why I'm skeptical of religion, but also the popularity of any given author who claims to channel some vision of a spirituality reality. I don't doubt the veracity of that vision as it applies to that person, but I do have doubts when other people eat it up without really applying anything in the way of critical thought or awareness. Asking, for instance, What in this spiritual message speaks to me and what doesn't is a good start.

I am my own guru, with all of his mistakes and flaws, spiritual insights and compassion. I don't want to be anyone else's, because when a person tries to give me that kind of mantle s/he is really trying to abdicate responsibility for his/her own spiritual integrity and journey. And while I am honored if you find some value in my words and ideas, I think its even better when you have some of your own. Find your own spiritual identity. Meditate, pray, etc., but most importantly think for yourself and question always the beliefs you have, if only to give yourself a chance to critically explore them.

Update on energy work

I've been continuing to do the fusion of the five elements practice each day. I've been noticing both physical and energetic results. Tighter stomach, and more physical energy, and a sense of greater well-being, as well as more energy to work with. What I like about this technique is the emphasis on the integration of physical awareness with the energy work. It's more of a centering and grounding technique, but the centering and grounding occur in the body and via the cycle that is created by doing this technique. I'll soon be back to where I was with it before, but without all the energetic baggage. In fact, that's probably what I note most...no blockages, more flow, more focus, and more awareness. I'm looking forward to integrating the Kan and Li work with this technique. I've got a feeling that all I will be integrating will prove really useful from both an inner alchemical methodology and also toward becoming more healthy.

Some thoughts on genetic memory

I’ve been playing Assassin’s Creed 2 lately, and one of the elements of the game is the ability of the main character to access his ancestor’s genetic memories in order to learn skills from them. I think it’s an interesting idea. I don’t know how viable it is, if only because the genetic code will be different, but you’re not really becoming the person, so much as you’re accessing the genetic information that the person contributed, and within that information could perhaps be also all the memories of that person. Is it far-fetched? Maybe, but the idea is interesting, and could be worth exploring. If a person is able to access the memories of ancestors and learn skills from said ancestors, it could be an interesting exploration of memory and space/time magic. So I might experiment with it. I get a lot of my ideas about magic from unconventional sources, such as video games, but I find that being open to those ideas has really helped me out both in terms of magical experimentation and also for writing purposes. And unconventional ideas can lead to innovation in magical practice, which is essential for progress. I don’t know if this idea will bear fruit. Some of my ideas don’t, but its worth trying out and I have some idea of how I’ll implement it. I’m thinking the mind machine will be very helpful as an interface of sorts. More later, once I’ve tried it.

Sped Limt: A Case Study in Entity Evolution

I've always found it fascinating how chaos magicians will get rid of an entity when it evolves. We're told that such an evolution is dangerous, because the entity will potentially get out of our control. I've never really agreed with that stance. Why go to all the trouble of creating an entity if you get rid of it when it gets better at what it does? The concern, as I understand it, is that if an entity evolves, it could evolve past your control and start to use you. I think the issue revolves around control, and yet I think such control is ultimately an illusion. I prefer creating mutually beneficial relationships, including with the entities I create, and if those entities I evolve I don't think the issue is too complex in terms of how to handle that evolution. It just comes down to continuing to develop a mutually beneficial relationship with respect on both sides...and if you treat your entity with respect then its not really an issue.

I created Sped Limt about four and a half years ago, maybe a bit longer. I used a dragon pendant for his home. I wanted an entity that would make me aware of cop traps and help me stay aware of the speed limit. Every time I saw a cop car I thanked Sped Limt for shredding its invisibility for me. Over time Sped Limt evolved. He helped me be more aware of any government vehicles, helped me navigate around accidents, construction, and busy traffic. He also protected himself from thieves the one time the car was broken into. And so I realized he had evolved and I gave him a second pendant.

Recently I was pulled over by a cop. Lest you think it was Sped Limt's failure, it was in truth my own, but Sped Limt came in handy again. I was polite to the cop, and after he went to look over my license and paperwork, I thanked Sped Limt as I always did and also decided to see if he could influence the situation so I only got a warning.  Lo and behold I did only get a warning and while being polite and admitting I sped probably helped, I also think Sped Limt put his influence in as well. So I'm getting him another pendant.

I've got a lot of respect for what Sped Limt can do and how much easier he makes my life. The entity has clearly evolved over time and I'm perfectly comfortable with that as well. It's a relationship. We take care of each other. He's changed, but even those changes have ultimately helped me as much as they do him. We both benefit. I have respect for that.

I think of Sped Limt as an objective entity. I created him, but he is his own being. I have no objective "proof" beyond his evolution, which primarily has occurred without my direct input. Some could claim he's just a subjective expression of my mind, a way of being able to relate to the dangers of the road, but such an analysis is ultimately based off human perception and subjectivity. Just as I can't necessarily prove that Sped Limt is an objective entity, it can't be proved he's subjective either. And I find the notion of him being a psychological construct much more boring, because its solipsistic and narrow, and based on a perception that limits consciousness to human, as if there could never be other forms of consciousness.

Sped Limt has evolved in large part to address situations that weren't originally included in the initial creation of him. That evolution has becoming increasingly sophisticated, allowing him to deal with new situations. And as that evolution has occurred my relationship with him has changed to acknowledge the evolution. The pendants are gifts and also acknowledgment...respect. And it seems to work. I haven't had to get rid of him, or dissolve him, or otherwise try and control him. We've just continued to develop our relationship.

Atheism and magic

I've noticed with some interest an increasing intersection of Atheism and magic. A number of magicians I know have mentioned they are atheists. I see some of this rise in Atheism as a result of the psychologizing of magic, wherein magical practices and results are explained from a psychological perspective. When such a perspective is applied to spirits, entities, and gods, they are explained as psychological constructs, and as such no longer possess an objective existence. Instead they are subjectivities of the human experience or representations of deep constructs given a form and mannerism that's easy to interact with. I can see the appeal of such a model, and also why it's lead to an atheistic perspective. I can also understand the appeal of atheism in terms of the rationalistic perspective it offers, but I also find it an interesting shift and I will admit that while I understand it, I don't necessarily agree with it. My own perspective is not one of religion (which I don't agree with either) but rather of perceiving spirits as objective beings that happen to have a different reality than my own. I don't think they need my worship, but I do have respect for them.

I don't think atheism and magic are incompatible. I find it to be an interesting mix and I'll be curious to see what the results are, although I've already seen some of those results in how people approach magic, and the culture that is emerging over the last couple of years.

Paratheatre Working with Elephant

Another working with Elephant tonight, using the paratheatre techniques I learned about. First I did stretches and exercises to get me warmed up and slipped out of mundane thinking, then transitional jogging to put me into a liminal space. As a side note, being so engaged in physical exertions was quite useful...it's something I'll be employing further. After I did the transitional jogging I got down on all fours and pretty much channeled Elephant. The focus of this working has been similar to the past ones, a continued realization of how obsessions can obscure the present awareness of time, of possibilities. What stands out to me the most is a sense of just how constructed my understanding of time is around desires, around needs around wants. Elephant pointed out that the need or desire a person experiences creates the perception and awareness of time that person has. Sure we have 24 hour days, but time is also constructed in terms of how long it takes to accomplish goals. We artificially construct time around the needs we have, as well as the fulfillment. It makes an interesting kind of sense. And Elephant's point in showing me all of this is really to help me see how constructed time can be, so that as I really begin working with the silver web, I recognize where my desires could interfere with my workings in it. It's definitely useful for me to consider all of this and I know my understanding of time is changing as a result.

The E-book of Pop Culture Magick is now available

Immanion Press is slowly but surely publishing many of its book as e-books and this includes my own writing. Pop Culture Magick is now an e-book. You can go here for more information. I think the move to e-books is a good idea, though I'll admit I'm too much a lover of books to really see myself reading e-books. I hope there's print, through the rest of my life.

Review: Towards an Archaelogy of the Soul by Antero Alli

This has to be my favorite of Alli's books so far, because it's the most practical of what he's written. In this book, he explains what paratheatre is and how it works, as well as letting others write case studies of their own experiences using this technique. What I like the most is that it combines concepts of acting with magical practices to get the best of the two different disciplines. I've already found implementing the concepts to be very useful in my own practices and recommend this work to anyone who wants to take a new approach to their ritual and ceremonial magic practices. Readers will find the material easy to approach, but the real gem is found in applying the concepts actively to your own work.

5 out of 5

No matter where you are, there you are

This morning, ever time my mind started to wander or fantasize, Elephant would speak up and say, "You're wandering." And it happened a lot. When I think about it, it's happened most of my life. I started fantasizing a lot when I was young. It was one of my defenses, one of my ways of escaping a situation I didn't want to be in. And it worked quite well. My imagination has always been vivid, and I could easily create what I needed in my daydreams. But as with anything, indulging in it too much can ultimately lead to a place of excess. So today Elephant made that abundantly clear to me. Every time my mind wandered, Elephant would call me out on it, and each time it happened, it forced me to realize just how much I have a tendency to let myself escape from the present into some past or future imagining, instead of sitting with the present moment and letting myself exist in that moment.

I like my imagination, but I also recognize a real need to stop imagining so much, to be able to sit in the present and recognize the opportunities around me in the moment. I'm glad Elephant is calling me on this, even as I'll admit, I'm frustrated that it happens so much. Then again, would I even be doing what I'm doing, if I didn't recognize some need to change?

"Forget Time to Find Yourself"

I've been reading Toward an Archaeology of the Soul by Antero Alli. I've met Antero once and we talked for about half an hour, and I've read his first book on the eight circuit model, but this work resonates with me a lot more, because in it, I see elements of my own practices and experiences. the embracing of the void, the assumption of no form, the intense working with a particular issue or element in your life are themes of both our work. I've decided I'm going to integrate the paratheatre method into some of my workings. I think it could only enhance what I'm already doing. Tonight, at the experimenter group, we did a working with time utilizing my recent work with elephant. First we did the exercise from The Possible Human, where you become different units of time, to set the proper frame of mind. Then, I passed around the painting and my statue of Elephant that I use to commune with him, asking each person to look at the painting, to imprint the symbol in their mind, and touch the statue to feel the essence of elephant guide them on a journey in time. I went on my own meditation as well.

On my journey, I was reminded by Elephant that I still focused too much on the future and past. I was too caught up in the what ifs. I'll admit, this is something I continue to struggle with. In some ways I live entirely too much in my head and in those what ifs, for escape, for fantasy, but also a vivid imagination. He said it blocked me from being as aware as I needed to be of the present and just living in the moment.

Still, I have to admit that what really hit me tonight were the words that M, one of the other participants shared about his own experience with Elephant. He said he was told, "Forget Time to find yourself." And as much as I recognize that phrase was for M, I also felt it was for me. I'm caught in linear time, focused on the future, focused on the past, but not in the present. It's in forgetting linear time, forgetting that tendency to focus on the extremes of time, and to be in the present, aware of the opportunity in the now that I could find myself. I feel as if I heard a key click in a door and since Elephant is the gatekeeper of time...

I paint to forget

I paint to forget sometimes, on a conscious level the desires, the wants, the needs, etc. I have. The paintings are sigils usually, though in someways I don't really think of them as that so much as mindscapes, which allow me to express what's going on in my mind and then let it go. I paint to forget, but also to free my mind. Once something is expressed, if you have a place to direct any further attention or energy toward that expression, you can can then remove the desire from conscious thought. It becomes part of the background. And once its part of the background, that desire can then work because it's not being pushed into the future by the conscious mind.

It's a reason to paint. Funny thing about painting for me. It's the one creative skill, where I'll never make it a product to sell. It's a magical work for me, but more than that it's something I need to keep for myself, as an outlet I use for both my magical expression and artistic/creative expression divorced from any form of compensation (beyond my satisfaction). I don't paint often, but I love to do it. The state of no-mind, the rustle of the brush, the colors that I use, and the shapes that come forth, all of it created in a place that is the secret part of my soul, and even when shared, it's still a place only I'm really intimate with.

What problems does magic solve?

What problems does Magic solve? I've been thinking about this question for a long time, though perhaps not with that wording. Only recently has that wording come to me, in large part because my experiences as a business and social media coach has helped me recognize that pretty much everything a person does is motivated by solving some kind of problem that the person has. And the major motivation for utilizing technology is also to use it to solve a problem. I count magic as a technology, and I recognize that I've used it numerous times to solve problems, whether its a short term problem or a long term problem. I've used magic reactively to handle situations, and I've also used it proactively to address issues.

So it seems like I already have the answer, but the reason I'm asking this question is because it's a big question to ask when you start looking at the process of magic and how it works. What will this particular magical process, act, working, spell, etc., solve and how will I know? So the emptiness working, as an example, solved a problem for me that involved coming to terms with emptiness and how I felt and expressed it to myself and others. And while I couldn't predict the outcome, I did know that I had a problem I wanted to solve and that motivated me to do a year long working with emptiness.

The process of doing that working was defined by recognizing what the problem was, and what would be solved by using that magical process to address the issue at hand. If I hadn't understood that there was a problem, I never would have even done that working. It wasn't until I recognized that there was a problem that I could recognize as well the value of the process I wanted to implement to solve that problem.

When you do a magical act or plan one, spend some thinking about what problem this act will solve. Define the problem, and then define the solution(s). What makes a magical act better than a mundane act in this case, or should they be combined? By addressing these questions and similar ones you may come up with, you will get a lot of value out of the magical work you do. Define your problem, so that you can then define your process.

Explore related entries in the Library

• Aphrodite
• Archangel Uriel

Some musings on Time and Desire

I did another meditation with Elephant tonight about time. In this case we ended up focusing on desire and how when desire turns into obsession, it actually makes it much harder to manifest a possibility into reality. Elephant explained this by showing how desire tends to push a person's thoughts toward the future, as opposed to experiencing the present. Because the focus of the desire is on the future, there's less acceptance that the desire could manifest in the present. He used as an example a very specific desire I have that I've put a lot of energy into, but nonetheless have continued to focus on consciously, in terms of longing for the manifestation of that desire. Instead of forgetting about the desire consciously and focusing on other things, I've allowed it to become something of an obsession and consequently all the conscious thought I put toward it ends up actually pushing it further and further away from manifesting into reality. The reason is simple: I'm continually focusing on when it will occur and when I think of it occurring, I think of it happening in the future!

I never thought about desire in this way, but it makes a lot of sense. It's similar to how sigils work. You create a sigil, you fire it, and you forget it. If you don't forget it, then it becomes harder for it to manifest, because you're not programming your subconscious to accept and allow that possibility to exist in your life.

Elephant advised focusing on the present, being more aware of the opportunities and situations happening around me, and letting the desire go from my conscious mind. This way I can actually allow it to manifest into reality, because I'm no longer putting effort into keeping it in the future. I actually see where I'm letting this happen in a couple of different situations in my life, beyond the one he specifically focused on...so it's time to apply this new awareness to the situation.

And you know I do realize that in different forms, this concept is already present in occult theory, but I like how elephant presented it. It actually makes sense to me in a very grounded way that other variants haven't really displayed.

Changes in my energy since the elemental switchover

Since I switched over from the element of Emptiness to the element of Time, its been interesting to track other people's awareness of that switchover, as well as starting up a new program of energy work. When I was doing the Emptiness working, my energy was heavy, depressive...I was busy working through all of the blockages and issues in my life. Toward the end of the emptiness working, my energy began to change. I was cleaned out. When I switched to Time, my energy felt different. Different people told me I felt lighter, and I was also a lot happier (and have been since then). Lupa said she noticed a webbing of sorts emanating from me. At the same time, because the emptiness working had cleaned me out, it'd also cleaned up a lot of energetic structures in me. The Spider Goddess of Time told me that I needed to stop using the old daily meditations I was doing and switch to the Elemental fusion system that Mantak Chia has written about. The old practices worked with an energetic body that had been there prior to the culmination of the emptiness working, but with my energy changes so much, I needed to develop a new practice that accounted for that.

For the last couple weeks I've been working the elemental fusion technique each day. I'd tried it before and used it for a little while, but the difference now is that I really don't have any energetic blockages getting in my way. The energy moves differently, but I also realize why the Spider Goddess wants me to bring this technique into my daily workings...it'll keep me cleaned out, because that is its purpose, while also helping me build a new and different energetic body.

Energetically I feel different...I feel so clean. There's no weight on me, no feeling of emptiness that comes across in a way that is hurtful to me. I can still feel some emptiness, but I'm at peace with it. The elemental fusion work, in the meantime, will allow me to continue with my inner alchemical workings, without the baggage that was previously attached.

In Memoriam Ted Andrews

Earlier this week it was confirmed that Ted Andrews died of Cancer. Most people know Andrews for his books on Animal Magic, but I'll admit that my exposure to his works came from a decidedly different angle, that of the hermeticist. I actually, to this day, have never read his books on animal magic, but several of the very first books on magic I read were Enchantments of the Faerie Realm and How to Meet and Work with Spirit Guides, both by him. Those two books contributed to a fusion of neoshamanic and Hermetic practices I was practicing when I first got into magic. Even today, when it comes to how I work with spirits, it's fair to say that Andrew's work is the foundation for that approach. Andrews introduced me to elemental Hermetic magic, and to some of the concepts of ceremonial magic. My mate, Lupa, tells me she never read those two books. But she's read Animal Wise and Animal Speak, which were two of his books on animal magic, and what I realize is that this person had a wealth  of experience across a variety of different magical disciplines and was able to share all of that with his readers. I really respect the ability to write knowledgeably on a variety of subjects.

I wish the family of Ted Andrews peace and comfort during this time of sorrow, and safe journey to the spirit of Ted Andrews, as he moves on to the next adventure.

Walking the web with Elephant

Tonight I decided to do some work with Elephant and time. I went into my ritual room and put on the necklace I associate with Elephant and the bracelet of Elephant hair and then pulled out the statue which wears the other bracelet of Elephant hair, as well as my painting for elephant. then I turned out the lines and sat in front of the statue and centered myself, so I could get focused on Elephant's presence. When I was ready, I laid down and keeping a hand on the statue, allowed myself to travel to the silver web. Once there, Elephant started discussing memory, not so much as a stable picture of the past, but rather as an active re-imagining of it, as well as an influencer of the present, and a dream of the future. He then talked about how being aware of your present circumstances was very important to really working with time.

"You are too focused on the future...not just you, but so many others as well"

He showed me several incidents, including one from today where I'd gotten caught up in future imagining of wishful dreams, while ignoring information in the present that could've told me that such an imagining was just a diversion of energy and thought better put elsewhere. The information was there all along...I'd intuitively acknowledged it, but still ignored it with my conscious mind, until I couldn't ignore it because information was presented that showed me that what I hoped for wasn't going to happen.

"Pay more attention to the present moments and the information in them...that will show you what paths you can take, and there are always multiple paths."

So then he also pointed out how elephants always have to be aware of a lot of information happening around them all the time. They can't just blindly look ahead. They need to listen to the vibrations and communication from other elephants, but also the land, as well as pay attention to their memory of a place, so they can find their way. Elephant said that the silver web has it's own vibrations and even as I can create my own paths, it's a wise idea to pay attention those vibrations as I navigate through time's possibilities.

"The more aware you are of the information available to you, the easier it is to pick out the possibilities that are most available to you, or find your way around obstacles that'd hold you back from a possibility you want to work with."

So I'm coming away from all of this with a realization that yes, sometimes I do live too much in the future, and I want to focus more on what's around me that I'm not noticing as much, and use that awareness to help me with my time work.

After I finished the work with elephant, I did a fan dance as a way to close the the sacred space and thank elephant. I have a fan, one of those ones you can hold open with one hand, that spreads out in a half circle, and I started dancing with it, using it to express my thanks. It was fun to close the ritual that way, and allow myself some artistic creativity with using the fan as a ritual tool. I plan on working with it more, in the future.

Space/Time Connection Working

I've been getting pinged by the Spider Goddess of time quite a bit since I switched over from emptiness to Time to come and do a getting to now you ritual of sorts. It was that this evening, but also more than just that. I went to my ritual room and pulled out the voyager deck and from it constructed a circle and triangle for ceremonial work. I've decided that I'm no longer going to use the voyager deck for divinatory work...just for the ceremonial/experimental magic I've been using the deck for the majority of the time.

After I constructed the circle and triangle, I pulled out the paintings for Elephant, Purson, Thiede, and the Spider Goddess, as well as the memory box I use to access the silver web of time. I then first approached Elephant and asked for entrance through the gates of time. He said yes, and told me to also make some more time for him, so we could explore some facets he could show me in regards to time. I took the key from him, and fit it into the loc of the memory box, and opened the box.

I called out to Purson to be guide through time, to Thiede to be my guide through space and they both came, my guardians on journeys into the silver web. Then I reached out to the spider goddess and she told me that tonight we'd work on utilizing the silver web to make a particular connection happen. She told me to think about what connection I might like to make, and then told me to shuffle the rest of the Voyager deck to pull out th cards that represented me and the connection I wanted to make. First I pulled out the seeker card, for myself (how appropriate), but I had to do a lot of thinking about what I wanted to connect. I decided, in the end, not to connect with a specific person or entity, but rather to connect with an archetypal awareness that I could present some information to about the connection I wanted to make. The Spider Goddess thought this was a good idea, and I proceeded to shuffle and pull a card that represented that awareness.

I then activated the magical circle for connecting with that awareness and putting my own card into the memory box and setting it on the altar, proceeded to explain at length what I was looking for. Then I and that awareness shuffled the cards from the elemental hexagon deck and from that we pulled out what I would consider to be a confirmation of those attributes, but also an imprint of them into the archetype, so it could seek out what I was looking for. After that the spider goddess suggested that she and I shuffle the cards a second time. So we did that, and the second spread revealed/set the path by which the possibility I was seeking would manifest.

The spider goddess also pointed to a specific book on my shelf Fusion of the Five Elements by Mantak Chia, and said I should start doing the exercise in that book for my morning daily ritual. The emptiness working has deconstructed all of my former energetic structures and the Fusion of the five elements is a practice that creates a spiritual embryo (among other things)...she seemed to feel it would be useful for me, so I'll be starting that practice as of tomorrow. Then I closed it all down. Overall, an interesting working, with more to undoubtedly come.

Revisiting the past

I'm in the process of revising Space/Time Magic for the Revised edition. It's been about five years since I wrote it, and the biggest realization I come away with is just how different I am from the person who wrote that book. Even my conceptualizations of space and time have changed a lot, so that while I recognize the threads and concepts as my own, I also find myself at a place where I recognize how much has changed in how I think about those same concepts and ideas as well as my practice of them.

I told Lupa that I planned not to do any more revised editions of previous works, because not only did I not really want to revisit the works, but trying to revise them and not include everything I've learned (because I'm working on a sequel) is a task I really don't want to do. I don't find fault in her editing either, but simply in realizing that the person I am now, the magician I am has moved in different directions than the magician who first wrote that book.

I'm not even sure I recognize the person who wrote that book. I've spent the last five years doing very intensive internal work to become a very different person from the one who wrote that book. And now, at the beginning of a new phase of my spirituality, when at least for the meantime, I move away from some of the internal work to doing more of the external work, I also recognize that how I approach that kind of work has shifted because of the internal work. So revising this book is really strange in the sense that I'm dealing with an older paradigm that I don't agree with anymore. It's not that the book or its concepts or techniques aren't valid and useful. They are...but they were written by a very different me...and the current me looks at that and doesn't regret it, but does recognize that the door has closed and there's really no going back.