identity

The Danger of Glamour: A commentary on the cult of personality and why being true to yourself matters

The danger of glamour

In my Pop Culture Magic series, one of the topics I explored is the danger of the cult of personality. Anyone who has tasted some degree of fame knows this danger and how seductive it can be. When you suddenly have people hanging on your words, looking to you as a teacher and guru, it gives your ego a tremendous shot in the arm. You’re also, magically, a recipient of the incoming energy and attention those people direct toward you.

I have a theory that one of the reasons so many celebrities or other people who experience fame go crazy is because they aren’t energetically equipped to handle the amount of attention being directed their way, or the pressure that comes with trying to live up to an image/persona of who people think you are, versus who you are actually are.

Imagine for example, trying to live up to the image of being a six or seven figure entrepreneur, where you’ve crafted a persona around how much sex you have or the cars you drive or all the other images you create to sell your persona of success, just so you can get people to invest in your classes. You attract people to you, who buy what you offer and now suddenly you’re on the hook. You have to live up to the image and persona you’ve created.

That creates a lot of pressure, especially if your public persona doesn’t match up with your private life. Something I’ve both observed and experienced directly is that it can be all too easy to try and live up to an image and feel like a huge fraud because the image of you is saying one thing and the reality of you is experiencing something else entirely. There can be a deep feeling of shame.

What you may not realize is that your persona has taken on a life of its own.

Your persona becomes a thought form

The persona is a separate identity from your own. It is made up of the thoughts, emotions, belief and energies that other people direct toward you as well as what you’ve put into it. Initially a persona can be useful. It gives you a way to face the world and be larger than life, but the reality is that a persona can also become an egregore, an independent entity that takes on a life of its own, with its own desires and needs.

The persona as an egregore doesn’t have your best interests at heart. You are a tool for it, that happens to have birthed it. Every action you take needs to feed the egregore and the attention and energy people direct you also ultimately goes toward the glamour egregore that you’ve created.

It becomes its own reality and it sucks you into that reality. Incidentally, this doesn’t just apply to celebrities or politicians or other people in the public eye (though its far more obvious there). It applies to anyone who feels like they need to live up to an image of who they think other people want them to be. It can apply to:

  • The mom who is always taking care of everyone else in her life.

  • The man who feels like he has to be a leader in everything he does.

  • The student who thinks they have to get perfect grades.

And I’m sure you can think of a few other examples, perhaps even your own.

The glamour persona egregore can apply to anyone who feels like they are living a double life.

Article continues below, but first

Wanting without Shame - Alchemize your desire into Reality

Join us for our next live class on September 19th at 9:30 AM PST

In Wanting without Shame, we work with desire as magical material.

Desire is not just a personal preference.

Desire is orientation.

It is the current beneath intention, ritual, spellcraft, spirit work, creative work, business, visibility, money, pleasure, devotion, and becoming.

In Wanting Without Shame, we invite you to come play so you can:

  • Clarify the desire underneath your magical intentions, instead of casting from obligation, confusion, or “should.”

  • Identify the old selves that distort what you think you want: the self other people imagine you to be, the past self still running old spells, the idealized self chasing comparison, and the present self who can actually cast.

  • Work with shame, shadow, envy, greed, pride, lust, wrath, sloth, and hunger as information instead of contamination.

  • Use Love and Loathe tracking as magical data for your practice, business, relationships, rituals, offerings, and creative life.

  • Create Desire Statements that function as magical source code for spellwork, spirit petitions, sigils, business direction, offerings, and life choices.

Turn your desires into reality clearly and cleanly

Who are you, really?

The glamour persona is a magical identity, but it may not be your identity. It’s the mask you put onto to face the world and meet the demands of your day, but it is really you?

Can you take off the mask?

Can you become the person you know yourself to be, when you aren’t wearing the mask?

The danger of the persona is that it can be a larger than life personality that doesn’t fit who you are. You construct it as an opportunity to become something new, with a perception around who you think you ought to be. That has its uses, but when it becomes something you wear to manage the way you handle the world, it also creates a separation because you’re always trying to fill the shoes of this being that you’ve created.

In magical identity work, instead of creating a persona for how you navigate the world, the focus is on picking a result and becoming that result. The difference is subtle, but important. In identity work you don’t create a persona that you use to handle situations, people, or experience. You define your desired result and then you become result. This is a process of transformation that isn’t based on trying to create a lifestyle glamour. Instead it’s based on bringing the result into your life in a meaningful way.

I came up with this approach after making the mistake of trying to craft a persona. I lived in the shadow of my persona and burned out because I was trying to be something that wasn’t real for me. My persona felt exaggerated and unreal and didn’t really match the person I knew I was. In trying to be larger than life, I actually found myself diminished by the persona.

I dismissed the persona I created and rethought my whole approach. I didn’t need to create a larger than life personality. I needed to be myself, but I asked myself if I could be myself and make changes that still lined up with my identity. That’s when I came to recognize that doing magical identity work was a better approach.

I focused on changed my identity from within myself by picking out a result and becoming the result. Becoming the result allowed me to organically accept a new outcome where I became the person who lived that result. I avoided the dangers of persona work in favor of simply choosing to become the result I wanted to live. Here’s a practical exploration of how this can work.

Step 1: Choose your desired result. It should be something that is a stretch for your identity, but also something you want to become. For example, I wanted to own a home, but had always been a renter.

Step 2: Create a practical magic working that connects your desired result with your current identity. For example, I created a sigil magic working, where one sigil represented me as a renter. Then I created a second sigil which represented me as a home owner. I drew a line between the two sigils.

Step 3: Activate the practical magic working so you shift from one identity to the other. I burned the first sigil and scattered the ashes. I took the second sigil and applied to applications I was filling out for home loans as well as paperwork for potential houses.

Step 4: Become your desired reality through mundane actions that support your magical work. I started shopping for homes. Once I found a home I wanted, I made an offer on it and did a working to Aphrodite to make my house offer more attractive. I also promised her that I would make her the patron goddess of the house. Then I imagined myself living at that house and being the home owner.

This is how you can get a result by changing you identity without using a persona.

Hot takes on shame, shadow & the magic of desires

If you’ve ever felt conflicted about your desire, or felt like you wanted something and yet found some way to sabotage it, you’re going to want to watch this episode of the Magical Experiments podcast.

Sheena and I share 15 hot takes on shame, shadow and the magic of desire and along the way explore:

  • How shame and fear can small you and contain your magic.

  • What love and loathing have to do with identifying your desires.

  • How to use the deadly sins as information instead of as shaming.

And if what we shares lands with you, then you’ll want to join us for our upcoming live workshop on September 19th:

Wanting without Shame - Alchemize your desire into Reality

In Wanting without Shame, we work with desire as magical material.

Desire is not just a personal preference.

Desire is orientation.

It is the current beneath intention, ritual, spellcraft, spirit work, creative work, business, visibility, money, pleasure, devotion, and becoming.

In Wanting Without Shame, we invite you to come play so you can:

  • Clarify the desire underneath your magical intentions, instead of casting from obligation, confusion, or “should.”

  • Identify the old selves that distort what you think you want: the self other people imagine you to be, the past self still running old spells, the idealized self chasing comparison, and the present self who can actually cast.

  • Work with shame, shadow, envy, greed, pride, lust, wrath, sloth, and hunger as information instead of contamination.

  • Use Love and Loathe tracking as magical data for your practice, business, relationships, rituals, offerings, and creative life.

  • Create Desire Statements that function as magical source code for spellwork, spirit petitions, sigils, business direction, offerings, and life choices.


Turn your desires into reality clearly and cleanly.

How to step into your power

I’m continuing to read Becoming a Supple Leopard (affiliate link) and try out the exercises in it. One of the key points the author emphasizes is how the torsion of your movements directs the overall experience. I relate this to my study of qi gong, which focuses on both the physical and energetic movement of the body. I’ve been combining what I’ve learned with the aforementioned book with my qi studies and I’m finding that this is subtly changing the way I stand and move, and in turn its allowing me to access more subtle experiences of qi.

In martial arts and qi gong, the subtle nuances become very important. The way you move shapes the experience of the qi as it flows through your body. The more you progress, the more you are shaped by the experience of the movement, as well as your understanding of that movement. The understanding isn’t an intellectual exercise. It a felt experience that embodies the depth of your work as you engage in it.

The cultivation of qi occurs through developing a deeper relationship with your body. For example, over the last few months I’ve been working on my posture. I’ve noticed that as I continue this work, my confidence has increased because of the way I hold myself in my stance and presence. I am getting to know my body through the repetition of exercising, the stretching I do each morning and evening and through the graceful strength of the movements.

Energy work is often depicted as something separate from the body, but the most effective energy work is a fusion of the body with the spirit and the qi. I am not just moving the physical body, but every other aspect of my being. And I am also being moved by the world around me, because I exist in a collaborative relationship with it, and this is made apparent by the physical and spiritual experiences I have through this work.

We step into our power when we embrace the natural state of being that looks beyond the artificial categorizations people are so fond of using to understand the world intellectually. We are more than the intellect and when we embody and embrace this, it enables us to discover a relationship with the world that draws on the experiential work that occurs through such activities as martial arts and qi gong.

My approach to magic has been changing a lot over the last few years. I’ve steadily been integrating a more embodied approach to my work as I feel it’s essential to connecting with the more subtle aspects of reality manifestation. Stepping into your power is a recognition of how potent you are, as yourself, in this work you engage in. Each movement presents a way to get outside of your head and discover the rooted relationship that awaits in the practice of movement.

Shadow mask work

Image courtesy of Taylor Ellwood 2023

I recently created a couple of masks to do some shadow work. The first shadow mask I created was for the shadow of co-dependency, which is something I have struggled with most of my life. The second shadow mask I created was for the shadow of the nice guy and all the passive aggressive behaviors the nice guy embodies. While the two masks are related, they are also distinctly different in some ways.

I created each shadow mask to embody the specific behavior I wanted to call forth. I painted the 'face' of each mask. On the inside of the face I created a collage where I glued the internal messages I tell myself. By externalizing the shadow into a mask I provide myself the opportunity to explore how that shadow shows up in my life and consciously make myself aware of it, so I can work with it in a way that doesn't allow it to sabotage my life.

Releasing Old Identities: How changes in appearance inform reality

picture copyright Taylor Ellwood 2023

For the first time in over 30 years, I cut my hair short. I've had long hair since I was a pre-teen but I recently decided that I wanted to make a change. I felt like it was time to cut my hair and in the process shed old identities in favor of new ones. For me, getting a hair was a magical act of identity transformation. I had long hair for so long and in a very real sense it was an established part of my identity as a person and even as a magician.

Yet identity is fluid and malleable. What seems fixed can be changed. A lot of times what makes your identity seem fixed has more to do with your perspective and attachment to that identity than to the actual physical reality of it. I kept my hair long because I was attached to how I looked, and how I felt about having long hair.

The act of getting my hair cut may not seem overly magical, but for me it was the choice to let of attachment to appearance, to looking a specific way. It was the choice to let go of not just the physical appearance of long hair, but also all the attachments I had to that appearance and just as importantly it was an act of letting go of the weight of that hair, physically, but also metaphysically.

Fear as an Ally in Your Magical Practice

Fear, in all of its guises, can be a force in our lives that either stops us in our tracks or motivates us to make changes The relationship we cultivate with fear can either turn it into one of our greatest allies or one of your greatest enemies. In this video I explore both aspects.

How to Integrate Initiatory Experiences in your everyday life

This previous weekend I went away for a weekend retreat where I went through an initiation process. I can't really share any details about what happened there, as its part of a mystery tradition, but what I can share is that I came into the event as one person and came out of the event as a changed and more grounded person.

That is part of the purpose of initiation. We go into an experience, not knowing what will happen and we are changed by that experience in fundamental ways that we may not even fully understand but that nonetheless become part of our rooted being.

Over the years I've had the fortune to attend other events where I've experienced an initiatory change from who I was, wherein I felt a shift in my state of being. This happens any time you remove yourself from mainstream society and immerse yourself in a different environment physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. Some experiences may be more intense and driven than others, but all experiences that take us out of the comfort zone will inevitably bring about change.

The question arises though: How do we integrate that change back into our everyday lives?

The nature of attachments and how to liberate yourself from them

image courtesy of unsplash

Lately I’ve been doing a lot of work around attachments, and my relationship with myself and those attachments. I’ve come to recognize something fundamental about attachments: They operate from a place of fear and scarcity and possession. You think you have something or someone (you don’t) or you want to have something or someone (you won’t) and all this comes from a place of fear that leads to attachment. Attachments operate from a place of control, a desire to make the world around you conform to your will, but they ultimately weigh you down.

Understanding the nature of an attachment can help you liberate yourself from it. An attachment is ultimately informed by a sense of scarcity, but also a limiting belief that if you don’t have something or someone in your life you won’t be happy. Ironically you give away the very control you seek when you are attachment, because you are basing your sense of happiness and well being on something or someone external to yourself. Even if you temporarily attain what you are attached to, it doesn’t provide happiness. You might feel a sense of pleasure, but pleasure is fleeting and immaterial and if you don’t attain the attachment it becomes a perceived source of unhappiness because you are holding on to a limiting belief that the desired object, event, person etc., has the key to your happiness, when in fact the opposite is true. If anything the struggle around attachment keeps you from truly appreciating and enjoying whatever experience you have as well as whoever you are with. Most importantly it keeps you from enjoying yourself.

So what do you to liberate yourself from an attachment?

First you need to recognize that the attachment won’t bring you happiness. Your attachment is to a sense of happiness originating from an external source. When you recognize that happiness comes from within and that no one or nothing else has that happiness then you can let go of trying to find that happiness somewhere else. You’re looking in the wrong places when you look for happiness from someone or something else.

How to start listening to your soul

Photo by cottonbro studio from Pexels

When I look back at my life what I see is someone who has not been successful in the conventional sense of the word. I have not stuck with a career for an extended period of time nor have I struck it rich with a business or even multiple businesses. I've had some successes in writing books and I've accomplished some activities I've set myself to do, but I've also spent a lot of time wandering, trying to find my purpose.

Is my purpose just to write books on magic and the occult? I think that's one part of it along with other writings I've done or want to do but I've realized for a while that there's something else calling to me as well. I haven't always known what it was and sometimes like I've gone in multiple directions exploring different interests and coming away with richer experiences and more insights.

I know I'm also not alone in this journey. I've been reading a book called Soulsshaping by Jeff Brown (affiliate link) which has described his own journey toward discovering his purpose. Reading Choose Yourself by James Altucher (affiliate link) has provided a similar perspective. Reading both books and some others has helped me recognize how much societal, cultural, and familial pressure often has us buying into ideas of success that aren't always accurate or realistic and may not apply. Certainly they haven't applied to me.

How to cultivate silence in your life and spiritual practice

I'm laying in bed, the light is turned off and I'm staring up at the ceiling, taking in the darkness and listening to the silence.

My day starts this way and ends this way.

I didn't always appreciate the need for silence, the need to hold space with it, and allow it to take me into the mysteries of stillness while also allowing my thoughts to drift until all that is left is emptiness, but I'm appreciating this practice more and more because it allows me to begin and end my at peace, letting go of any attachments, emotions and events that might otherwise disturb the harmony of the moment.

How to get unstuck in your life

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/sad-isolated-young-woman-looking-away-through-fence-with-hope-3808803/

There is nothing worse than feeling stuck in life.

You're going through your daily life and everything seems to be going swimmingly, but at your core you feel something...off. A deep feeling of dissatisfaction, a sense of feeling stuck somewhere in your life. Maybe it's with your job, maybe its with your relationship, maybe it's something else altogether.

At the core of that feeling of stuckness is an experience of anxiety that we often try to bury deep within ourselves. That feeling of anxiety could come from a desire for approval or a fear of abandonment or something else altogether, but it keeps us trapped in a cage of our own making.

How I'm learning to choose myself

I’ve never been good at choosing myself.

I’ve never been good at saying yes to myself.

I’ve recently come to realize that because I’m going through this intense transformation in my life, where I’m looking at everything that’s come before and I’m seeing all the patterns that have influenced my choices, whether those choices have been relationships, or jobs or anything else I’ve done and what I’ve come to recognize is how much the choices I’ve made have been about saying yes to other people and no to myself. And pretty much everything I’m saying yes to are old patterns that have kept replicating themselves with new masks, but underneath it all is the same narrative, the same giving away of personal autonomy and sovereignty and the person doing that isn’t anyone else other than me.

The healing of the sacred masculine

Over the last half year I’ve been engaged in a lot of work around exploring my relationship with my own sense of masculinity, and what it means to be a man, as well as what is sacred about masculinity. My own relationship with my father, my model for the masculine, was never a healthy one, and I found over the years that I’ve sometimes embodied the immature masculine, because I simply didn’t know what else was available. I think this is a problem most men, and boys face and it is becoming more and more complicated because we don’t have good models or the necessary rites of passage that are needed.

The rites of passage that are available in modern society is learning to drive (age 16), voting (age 18) and Drinking legally (age 21). Beyond that there really isn’t a structure in place that explores a coming of age for anyone regardless of what gender they identify with, but for the purposes of this writing I’m speaking in context to the journey of being a man, regardless of how a person comes to identify themselves as male.

Journey to Sacred Masculinity Part 1

I discuss my journey to sacred masculinity and share why I’ve started exploring it and how it is helping me with my overall spiritual path as well as healing the wounds I’ve experienced around being male. I also discuss the epic of Gilgamesh and my relationship with Inanna/Ishtar/Aphrodite and why that relationship is central to the sacred masculinity work I am doing…as well as a discussion of Saturn’s role in all of this work.

How to Apply Awareness to Magic

I discuss how to apply awareness to your magical practice in order to get better results, but also put together better magical workings. I discuss why awareness can help us with the process of letting go of the lust for results so that we can focus on the magical work we need to do.

How to flip the script in any situation

What role do we play in our lives? We don’t necessarily have control of everything or everyone around us, but what we do have is control over the role we play. I share a technique I’ve been using in the last couple months that has helped me change my perception about the role I am in and allowed me to flip the script on the situations I’m in.

How to release your neediness and discover your actual needs

In the last few months I have had a great opportunity present itself to me. I have come face to face with my neediness and co-dependent behavior and I’m going through this process to recognize and release the neediness in order to discover what I truly need. That probably sounds a little contradictory until you consider that the root issue of neediness is based in fear. When we feel needy, we often feel that way because we are afraid to discover ourselves and what we truly need.

This journey of mine has involved me learning even more about my relationship with fear. I already knew a lot about it, but I’ve come to recognize how fear is the root of neediness. When I feel needy or clingy, what is operating at the root of that needy clinginess is the fear I feel. Part of what has helped in doing this work is connecting with Saturn, because in a very real sense Saturn is an embodiment of fear.