In 2022, in the wake of a breakup, I lay in bed thinking to myself, “I don’t like who I am and getting into another relationship isn’t going to solve this problem.” I was centering my life around other people and avoiding my own inner work and it was costing me everything.
A few weeks back, I had the opportunity to interview Anthony Rella about Slow Magic. The interview got me thinking about something I had read in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
What you center your life around defines your life. For example, if you center your life around work then work will define your life and the choices you make. If you center your life around a relationship, then that relationship will define your life and your choices. If you center your life around pleasure, then pleasure will define the choices you make in your life. I can continue but I think you get the idea.
Reading that point made me think of the moment of realization in 2022 that I was centering my life on the wrong priorities. The point the author is making is that so many people base their lives on external outcomes or relationships or desires instead of centering their lives around principles that help them live their best lives.
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When I read that chapter, I squirmed uncomfortably. I have been that person who has centered my life around work, relationships, pleasure, and other situational experiences. It’s taken me a long time to recognize that about myself and also do the necessary work to change who I am. It’s an ongoing work in progress. It may always be an ongoing work.
In the interview with Anthony, we discussed the value of working with magic slowly, and being curious and open to how the magic unfolds. I’ve learned in my own life just how important it is to let the magic land instead of continually working it.
What long term magic has taught me is to look beyond the immediate situation and ask myself what the ultimate outcome of my life will be. It has asked me to look at legacy, specifically what I will leave behind and how that will be passed on to the future generations. It has required me to look at my life and ask how my life journey is actually aligning with my desired life outcome. Along the way, I’ve had to take a good hard look at myself and my choices.
Words such as responsibility, truth and integrity have taken on a different meaning through long term magic. I am casting a spell to last a life time (and beyond) and the values I live by play a role in that magical work. This has led me to ask a question in today’s article, both of myself and you.
What is your magic centered around?
This question is also prompted by another recognition I’ve had around magic. Many people treat magic as something to do, but magic is much more than that. Magic is relational and what I mean by that is when you cast a spell, do a working, contact a spirit or do some other type of magical practice, it’s not just to reach an outcome. There is a relational component that occurs where the magician is essentially trying to reach a different state of being through magic.
Can you emerge out the other side of the magical working okay with yourself and your new reality?
The question may seem self-evident but I don’t think it is. I think it actually requires us to reach a level of awareness and depth about who we are choosing to be and how magic can help us change our identity. Your magical identity is centered around what you orient yourself towards. That orientation defines your relationship with your magic, your life and everything else you have a relationship with.
A life based around principles uses those principles to define your life. For instance, I mentioned the word responsibility earlier. That word and the principle it represents has become an essential part of my life orientation. It influences my magical work as well, because I inevitably find myself inquiring whether I am taking responsibility for this magical working I’m choosing to do. There’s also a level of nuance, because I look at responsibility as the ability to respond. In other words, I am choosing my response as opposed to reacting to a situation…both magically and mundanely. All of this sounds good, but let’s bring a level of practical application to it so that you can see how what I’m sharing could apply to your life and magic.
Practical Exercise: The Principle Compass
“Your life follows what it is centered on.”
Every magical working changes more than your circumstances. It changes what your life revolves around. Over time, that center becomes your identity. This exercise helps you discover what currently centers your life, choose the principles you want to live by, and begin orienting your magic around them.
Step One: Find Your Current Center
Without judging yourself, answer these questions.
When I make important decisions, what usually has the final say?
What occupies most of my thoughts?
What am I most afraid of losing?
What do I continually organize my time around?
When I perform magic, what am I usually trying to protect, avoid, or acquire?
Now look for the pattern.
Perhaps your life is centered around:
approval
money
certainty
relationships
pleasure
safety
achievement
avoiding discomfort
being right
Write one sentence:
At this point in my life, my world has largely been centered around ____________________.
Don’t choose what sounds noble.
Choose what is actually true.
Step Two: Choose Three Principles
Now ask a different question.
Instead of asking,
“What do I want?”
Ask,
Who must I become for my life to be worth living, regardless of circumstances?
Choose three principles you want to organize your life around.
Examples include:
Responsibility
Curiosity
Integrity
Courage
Presence
Generosity
Patience
Stewardship
Devotion
Compassion
Discipline
Truth
Write each principle on a separate page.
Then answer:
Why does this principle matter?
How would someone living from this principle behave differently than I do today?
How would this principle change my magical practice?
Step Three: Reinterpret Your Magic
Think about the last three magical workings you performed.
For each one ask:
What outcome was I seeking?
Which principle was this working expressing?
Which principle was missing?
For example:
Money spell
Outcome:
Increase income.
Missing principle:
Stewardship.
Question:
How would I practice stewardship before asking for more wealth?
Relationship spell
Outcome:
Find a partner.
Missing principle:
Integrity.
Question:
How can I become someone capable of sustaining the relationship I’m asking for?
Notice how the focus shifts from getting something to becoming someone.
Step Four: Create an Orientation Question
This becomes your magical compass.
Complete this sentence.
Today, how can I express _________ regardless of what happens?
Examples:
Today, how can I express responsibility regardless of what happens?
Today, how can I express courage regardless of what happens?
Today, how can I express curiosity regardless of what happens?
Ask this every morning.
The answer may have nothing to do with ritual.
That is part of the practice.
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Long-term magic changes your orientation
Magic, of any type, changes your orientation. You may be doing magic to get a specific outcome, but you are also changing your position in the world and your identity. I don’t think this is always fully appreciated in short-term workings, because the focus is usually on trying to fix a problem or respond to a situation, yet underneath all of that is a call to change who you are to meet the new reality you are calling in.
Long-term magic, which is done to design your life and legacy, calls on the magician to make the conscious choice to re-orient their identity around the desired long-term outcome they want to manifest for their life. And yet living life also is a process of changing orientation. I can create a long-term magical working and still have to deal with the variables that life throws my way. What long-term magic does is keep your life journey oriented to the desired outcome, while also folding in the variables so they ultimately work to create your desired outcome.
For example, you might do a long-term magical working around your career. You have a specific goal in mind for the work you want to do, the money you want to make, and how you can serve your community. The magical working orients you toward all of that, but also does one other thing.
Magic works in mysterious ways
I have had many experiences come into my life in ways I couldn’t fully anticipate or plan for at the time. These experiences ended up being folded into the long-term magical working because they were synchronistic entanglements of probabilities that helped move the long-term magical working on.
The outcome or result of a long-term magical working is something which continually informs the magical work. The outcome also continually changes There’s not a singular moment when the result is declared done. Rather it is an unfolding through your entire life, which is continually brought into alignment through your magical work. You may reach a milestone with that outcome, but that milestone will reveal additional details that inspire the continuation of the long-term magic.
On that fateful day in 2022, I had already been doing long-term magical work since 2017. The realization I had changed the course of my long-term magical work. I made the decision that I would change my relationship with myself before I got into another relationship with someone else. I knew I needed to break the patterns of behavior that weren’t serving me. Breaking that pattern became part of the long-term magical working and it helped me change what I centered my life around. That change in orientation also changed the long-term magical working and the desired outcome. I share that last point to illustrate that the magic changes your life and is changed by your life.
Should you do a long-term magical working? The answer is yes. Just remember that you’re not trying to live a static life. Your magic shouldn’t be static either.