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February 2016 Radio Shows and Book Reviews

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Taylor Ellwood If you missed the February Episodes of the Magical Experiments podcast, below are links to each episode.

Magical Experiments Radio: Sacred Sexuality and Sex Magic with Laurelei Black

Magical Experiments Radio: Death and Rebirth with Annwyn Avalon

Magical Experiments Radio: Pagan Leadership Panel part 1 with Courtney Weber and KaliSara

Magical Experiments Radio: Pagan Leadership Panel part 2 with Crystal Blanton, Sam Wagar, and Lisa Spiral

Magical Experiments Radio: Social Media Magic with Felix Warren and Laurie Pneumatikos

 

Book Review: Magic Simplified by Draja Mickaharic

In this book, the author shares some useful exercise for beginning magicians (and worth revisiting even if you have more experience). What I like is that the exercises are presented without lots of esoteric jargon. Anyone could pick this book up and try the exercises and learn more about magic as a result. What the author really demonstrates with this book is what magic really is, without all the glamour and spells usually associated with it. What you have is a practical bare bones guide with exercises that provides you with a place to begin your magical work.

Book Review: Awakening the Luminous Mind by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche

In Awakening the Luminous Mind, the author shares a teaching from a previous lama and walks readers through the meditation around that teaching. It's a profound book that lead you to deep changes as you embrace stillness and let go of your pain identity. The accompanying CD has some useful tracks you can use with your meditation, though I wish some of them had been longer. The quality of the teachings is superb and has a enhanced my stillness work immensely. If you are interested in Dzogchen or simply want to work with stillness, this is an excellent book to work with.

Book Review: The Spell of the Sensuous by David Abram

This was an intriguing read where the author explores the connection or lack thereof that people have with the natural world. He shares how we have fallen away from that connection and what we are losing by not having such a close connection. What I found most intriguing was his exploration of language and how the changes in the written word helped to create the disconnect. This is a thought-provoking read that will motivate you to change your relationship with the world.

 

 

 

 

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The Inner Alchemical Path to turning the Dragon of Change into the Momentum of Success

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Dragon In the last couple of months I've made some pretty big changes in my businesses and life and while these changes are good, what comes with change isn't always easy to deal with. In making some of my choices, I've felt moments of fear and anxiety. Part of me asks, "Am I doing the right thing?" and "Is doing this worth the consequences you'll deal with?" And while I'd like to say my answer is always yes to these questions, the truth is that sometimes its not. Change can be a dragon, mythological in its power in your life, teasing in its glory, yet frightening when faced head on, even with all your preparations.

Change brings with it uncertainty. We step out of the comfortable confines of whatever it is we've been doing and even if we've defined a result (always define your results), there is still those natural feelings of fear and anxiety. And we can and should acknowledge those feelings, but what we shouldn't do is let them take over, because once that happens we'll sabotage the very change we seek to bring into our lives. Change seems like a dragon, but the reality is that change is your ally, if you make it into one. Today I want to talk about how working with change can greatly enhance your life (which participants in JOY, the upcoming life altering class on mastering internal work and applying it to your life, will accomplish) if you learn how to work with it and its agents instead of resisting it.

To turn change into your ally you've got to engage it on all levels of your being, starting with your feelings. 

Embrace ALL of your feelings. The happiness and the fear, the excitement and the anxiety. All of those emotions are part of this process of change, but if you only focus on the positive ones, you're doing yourself a disservice. The negative emotions, as terrifying as they may seem to be, can also be a great source of inspiration. Fear can paralyze you or it can motivate you to push through and do the work you need to do. When I have different emotions come up in relationship to the change I'm creating and going through, I open myself to the feelings, and feel them. I don't think about them...I feel them in my body. My stomach knots up as I feel fear, my pulse races a bit as I feel anxiety, and yet I allow it...and keep myself present with what I'm feeling. By feeling it, I'm actually allowing myself to process and let go of the attachments the emotions embody. You can do this to.

When you feel fear, allow yourself to feel that fear to uncover what comes up in relationship to it. You may find that other emotions such as shame and guilt come up, which also need to be experienced. You might find that a specific event triggered the feeling and that you need to process that event. In my case, it was choosing to leave two networking leads groups I've been part of. Rationally I have excellent reasons for making the choice to leave, but emotionally it was hard to do and it felt like I was pushing myself out of a nest. Allowing myself to acknowledge that helped me feel the emotions and let go of their hold on me, because now they were acknowledged.

By embracing your darkest emotions, you turn them into fuel that empowers the change you seek to manifest in your life. You turn resistance into advantage.

With change, comes resistance. Your feelings are one form of that resistance, because they show up to try and keep you in the dead weight of your status quo. But when you embrace your feelings and accept them, you turn them into allies and as a result you turn their inertia of resistance into the momentum that powers your success. The primary resistance you'll always encounter with change is your internal fears and doubts rearing up to hold you back and until you harness them and turn them into your allies they will convince you not to taken action, to stay in the comfortable discomfort of your status quo. And not surprisingly you'll find that your external circumstances mirror the internal fears and doubts holding you back.

To truly hold space with your feelings and turn them into allies you need to shed the dead weight of the status quo.

For me shedding the dead weight of my status quo involved choosing to leave the networking groups I was part of. The networking groups in and of themselves weren't the problem. How I was showing up and feeling was the issue and until I gave myself permission to leave and shuck off the status quo, I couldn't effectively confront those feelings or how their resistance was stopping me. It was only when I could let go of the external situation, the obligation and other associations with it that I could then come face to face with my resistance and begin to turn it into an ally.

Your external situations mirror your internal reality because some part of you has created an agreement that you want to have that situation in your life. If that sounds messed up, just consider how many people settle for situations where they are miserable because some part of them feels they deserve it. That part is rooted in your feelings about yourself, such as doubt and fear. Until you embrace those emotions and turn them into allies, they will continue to hold you back, depriving you of the momentum you need to move forward. When you look at the situations you are in and you own how you show up in them, then you can get rid of the dead weight of status quo and start making the changes in your life and business from a place of informed awareness and empowerment. You're no longer staying in those situations, but instead choosing to do something about them, which is all part of the process of inner alchemy unfolding in your life!

The Inner Alchemical Path of Transformation

It's possible to tame the dragon of change and turn it into a transformative alchemical agent that puts you in touch with the momentum necessary to create your success.

It's possible to take your emotions of fear and doubt and transform them into inspiration and motivation that fuels the manifestation of what you really want.

We'll be covering this (and much more!) in JOY.

What happens as a result?

You step into your own power and exert it on yourself and the world. You create a new identity that is in touch with your deepest values and joys and helps you turn all of that into more wealth, joy, and love in your life. You become the person you know yourself to be and stop getting in the way of your own success.

About JOY

JOY is a practical magic virtual course that shows you how to align your internal reality with the possibilities you want to manifest in the world around you. Registration for JOY starts on April 4th, 2016 and closes on April 11th 2016.

If you decide to take JOY with me, here's the results you'll manifest by the end of the course:

  • Turn your emotions into your allies and into momentum in your magical work.
  • Manifest your wealth and joy in your life.
  • Connect with other magical people taking this class.
  • Discover your internal power and apply it to the world around you.
  • Learn how to align your internal reality with the possibilities you want to manifest.
  • And much more!

Want to learn more? You'll be hearing a lot more about JOY soon.

To make sure you get updates about the class and to get notification when registration is open, sign up for the Magical Experiments e-list and get the Dangerous Secret to Achieving Consistent Results by Experimenting with Magic

Image courtesy of Wikimedia

 

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A Third Open Letter to Pagan Convention Organizers and to Pagan Presenters

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Back in December of 2015 I wrote 2 open letters to Pagan Convention Organizers. In the first letter I explained that I no longer wanted to present at events where I was expected to pay to present and no compensation was offered for my efforts. In the second letter, I called for transparency on how guests of honor and featured presenters are selected, asking organizers to make it clear how a presenter is selected as well as what is offered to the presenter. I also asked my fellow presenters to share those posts and write about their perspectives as a presenter. Below is a list of links, where you can read the perspectives of some presenters and organizers who chose to write and share their insights in response to what I wrote. I want to thank them all for making the effort to write and share their thoughts. If I missed any, feel free to leave a comment with a link to the appropriate post.

Laurelei Black

Jason Miller

Shauna Aura Knight

Jason Mankey

Jenett

Mike Sententia

Not too many presenters chose to write about this topic and I understand why, because they are potentially putting themselves on the firing line for sharing their own views, and consequently not being invited back to conventions. I was recently told by Jason Mankey that most of the rank and file agreed with what I wrote and I wasn't really sure what to make of that. Whether you agree or disagree, what I really hope you'll do is share your perspectives and thoughts as a presenters and yes as organizers as well, because this is an important conversation that we as a community need to have. And I don't expect that most people entirely do agree with my stance...in fact I know some who don't and I get why they don't.

I just got back from Convocation, which was a great event, well run, with lots of good programming. As I was there this time, there were some moments where I recognized that this really could be the last time I'm ever at that event. By choosing to take a stand and speak out about how presenters are compensated and how they are selected, I shined a light on a topic that can be touchy. I knew what the consequences were when I wrote those letters and I would do it all over again. But even so, I also recognize I might not be back and that I may have burned some bridges with different events I've previously presented at.

If presenters really agree with what I've written then I want to remind you of something. It is not the loudest voice that causes change to occur, but rather the multitude of voices that causes change to occur. One of the reasons I spoke up was because after 13 years of presenting at events, I feel like I've paid my dues and then some. When I first started speaking in 2003, I had co-written a book and I knew I had to pay my way if I wanted people to hear me speak. Even after I wrote Pop Culture Magick, Space/Time Magic, and Inner Alchemy, I still knew I needed to pay my dues, pay my way if I wanted people to hear me speak. That's the reality of presenting, early on...you have to be willing to put in the blood, sweat, tears, and yes money, if you want to reach out to the community at large.

But at some point you also want your efforts recognized and valued. You want to know that what you have to offer is worth something to the people your presenting for and that you'll get some help and compensation for that effort. And that's one reason I wrote those letters (and for that matter this one).

I also wrote those letters because I want all presenters to have a shot at being a featured presenter or guest of honor. I want all presenters to know what the criteria is and what they need to do on their end in order to meet that criteria. I have some further thoughts about that topic below, but first...

Thank you Pagan convention organizers

If' you've done a double take or you're blinking your eyes in confusion, I get it. It must seem odd that this person who has called you out is suddenly thanking you. Let me tell you why I'm thanking all of you (and recognizing a few of you).

I got a couple public responses and private responses to my open letters from people who organize Pagan conventions and festivals and what I took away from those responses is that Pagan convention organizers do a lot of volunteering and hard work to put together events. Now I knew that before I wrote my open letters, but in reading your responses to what I wrote I came away with a deeper appreciation for all the work you do on your end and the sacrifices that you make to make the events happen. It's not easy work and I don't know that you always get recognized or appreciated the way you should. I've always made it a point to thank event organizers that have had me present at their venue, but I know you do a lot of work and whether you believe it or not I do appreciate it. I also want to recognize some of you for taking the time to respond to me.

Laurie Pneumatikos and Typhon Dracos are the organizers for the Left Hand Path Consortium, occurring in April of this year. When they read my open letters, they responded and made a commitment to comp presenters their hotel rooms and registration. I've seen how hard they've been working to put the event together and I'm really appreciative and humbled by their generosity. I appreciate everything they are doing to take care of the presenters and I know my fellow presenters and I will do the same for them. Thank you so much for taking care of us.

David Smith is the con chair of this year's Convocation, which just wrapped up, and Lindsay Moss is one of the organizers. Lindsay initially responded to my questions and then put David in touch with me. David explained in great detail how featured presenters and guests of honor are selected. I really appreciate that both he and Lindsay took the time to respond and address my concerns. Thank you so much for making the time to connect with me.

Laurie Froberg of Paganicon also took the time to address my concerns and explained how guests of honor and featured presenters are selected as well as how they are comped. I really appreciated the transparency. Also Paganicon refunded me the admission I paid as a featured presenter a couple years ago, recognizing that they had charged me, when in fact featured presenters get their registration comped. In their defense, I had already submitted workshops and they had already been accepted by the time I became a featured presenter. Thank you so much for making the time to connect with me.

Laurelei Black of Babalon Rising shared the dual perspective of being a presenter and an organizer on her blog (which is linked above). I really appreciated the insights and transparency she brought to the process, when it comes to putting together an event and what the challenges are.

I didn't hear from any other convention organizers at the time I wrote the letters, but if any of you want to reach out you can. However, what I would really like all of you to do is the following:

A Renewed call for Transparency

What I would like to see is a commitment to publish online, and in your program packets, what your criteria is for someone becoming a guest of honor or featured presenter as well as give all of us, presenters and attendees alike, a clear idea as to what compensation, if any, is offered. I don't think this is an unreasonable request. I think, if anything, it will help presenters and attendees know what is actually happening and what their respective roles have to do with this process.

When I have visited various convention websites I haven't seen anything to this effect and I hope that changes, because otherwise it's rather hard for all involved to really know how this process works. I'd like to suggest the following feedback for specific types of events.

Invite only events: Some events are invite only. What I'd like to know is how does a presenter even go about getting noticed so that they get invited. Is their a secret handshake or knock or is their some other criteria that you are looking for from us? And what role do attendees have in this process, if any?

Guest of Honor/Featured Presenter events: With these events it seems that its up to the attendees to indicate that they want a presenter to return as a featured presenter and/or guest of honor (though in some cases the GOH is selected according to a theme). If that's the case, the attendees need to know that. One example I like is that Convocation has a session at the event, (If this is your first time at Convocation), where new attendees are briefed on the fact that what they want has an impact on next year's programming. I think having programming to explain the role of attendees and presenters is a good step to take, along with putting that information on the website and in the program packet.

Presenters I want you to take special notes here. If you want to come back to an event as a featured presenter or a GOH you need to tell the people who are attending your classes to put that information in the feedback forms. Don't expect that simply presenting year after year will get you that opportunity and don't expect that asking organizers to give you that opportunity will make it happen. Tell the people who attend your classes that if they want you back as a featured presenter or Guest of Honor that they need to leave that feedback so organizers see it. It's your responsibility to make sure people attending your class know that their feedback is important and can help get you in as a featured presenter or guest of honor.

Pay to Present events: Fortunately there aren't many of these events around. If you want to run an event like this where you expect presenters to pay to present then I have only piece of advice for you: Pay to present MUST apply to ALL presenters, not just the majority. What this means is that no presenter should be getting comped for registration, hotel or flights, or anything else if you're going to sweep it under the rug and officially pretend that you charge everyone.

Instead I would suggest switching over to a featured guest and guest of honor model AND making sure every presenter knows how it works and consequently has a shot of becoming a featured presenter or guest of honor. That way there's no favoritism and no nepotism at work.

Additionally if you are going to insist presenters pay and present at the least offer them a reduction on their registration dependent on how many workshops they are teaching. Otherwise you're just being greedy and unethical to the very people who are helping to make the event happen.

That's my feedback for all of you and I hope you will do something with it that makes this process transparent for all involved.

A slight revision on my stance

When I wrote the first two letters I said I wouldn't accept going to an event if my room or flight wasn't comped. I'm making a slight revision, which is this: If an event wants me as a featured presenter where they comp my registration and provide a table where my books are vended and sold and I'm given some marketing in the program book, I can work with that. And if you want to cover my flight or hotel room, I'd appreciate it, but I know that not every event can afford that. I know you have expenses and I accept that. What I want is opportunities to cover my expenses and perhaps even leave an event with some profit. And I do want a crack at the Guest of Honor at some point.

And lest someone accuse me of selling out...I'm not...I'm just accepting that there are certain realities to putting an event together that involves a lot of expense and moving parts. I get that and I know I won't always be a guest of honor, but I want what I have to offer acknowledged and valued and I have paid my dues, so I don't think its unreasonable to revise my stance a bit, but still make it clear that some form of compensation needs to happen.

And Finally an Announcement

I've always felt that a person can and should speak out on whatever issues is of concern to them. But I also think if you're going to speak up, you ought to have something to offer as a solution as well. So my fellows presenters this is what I'm offering you:

I am in the process of researching and putting together the various moving parts to putting on a virtual conference. It's going to take a while for me to do it, but I will do it and I will keep you appraised of it. More importantly, I promise that you will have the potential to make money. Note the word potential, because some effort on your part will be needed. I will be transparent about every aspect of this event, so keep your eyes peeled for more details down the line.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stillness Month 16: Patience

sigil 1-22-16 Something I've been realizing the last week or so is that if I'm going to make all the changes I want to make to my respective businesses and also to me, I really need to give myself the time and space to do it. At the same time I've also got to take good care of myself. Today I was feeling a struggle between getting my exercise in and just working away on the projects I'm focused on and I realized I was falling into a scarcity trap. So I stopped myself, took a deep breath and looked at the scarcity trap for what it was and then decided to get my exercise in. Making that time is important because its what recharges me and gives me the fuel to put into the businesses. And this is stillness in action. Recognizing patterns of behavior that are holding me up, stopping to work through the obstructions and then continuing on to do what needs to be done.

1-26-16 I left the networking groups I was part of yesterday. I think it's a good move as I continue with the class work I'm doing through Thrill. I need the time to continue to shepherd my businesses through their evolution. Speaking of evolution, I've been continuing to swim fairly regularly and I'm enjoying it. When I'm swimming its moments of the physical experience with occasional flashes of thought, which usually end up pointing to something I can work through and dissolve. Today's was acknowledging a trait I find annoying in another person, yet I also sometimes exhibit. What we don't like about someone else is usually an indicator of what we don't like about ourselves (though not always). Mixed in with the ongoing stillness meditation, the swimming is proving quite helpful with the internal work.

1-27-16 Today in meditation I opened myself up to the feelings of fear and anxiety and fully became present with them. Feeling those emotions so raw wasn't easy. I felt my stomach knot up, but in sitting with them I was also able to go deeper into them and work with feelings of guilt and shame that were underlying the fear and anxiety. Fascinating how it all fits together. I'm still feeling it now as I write this, but I'm glad I'm open to the feeling because you can't do anything with it if you just bury it. And you can't do anything with it if you obsess over it. You just have to feel it, dissolve and continue on. I know what I'm feeling is because I'm making some good changes, but its natural to feel what I'm feeling as I work through those changes. so long as I keep it in perspective and use it to my advantage.

2-9-16 So there's a gap here where there were entries made, but due to website issues those entries are gone and unfortunately I can't remember everything I wrote. What I do remember is that in one of my recent meditations, Zadok visited and explained that one of the reasons I'm experiencing some trouble with my stillness meditation is because stillness does deal with change sometimes and learning how to handle that change while being present with stillness is one of the challenges. I found it to be helpful advice, because it is a reminder that you have to learn how to mediate forces you work with in various circumstances. Zadok doesn't visit a lot, so when he does I always pay attention.

On a different matter, I'm really grateful to my kids and the reason for that is because I learn a lot from them in our conversations. I've always felt that its important to keep an open mind, and to really stay open to learning from a variety of sources. I learn a lot from each of them, because while I may have more life experiences under my belt, it doesn't automatically those experiences trump their own. It just gives me a different perspective, but sometimes their perspective really helps me appreciate life from a different place. I'm glad they are a part of my life.

2-10-16 My friend Felix recently observed that I am much happier than I was in October. This is true. I made some choices that feel right to me and as a result I don't feel weighed down by being in circumstances where I'm supporting something I don't agree with. When you get rid of what you don't agree with, when you step away from circumstances that you know aren't right, it liberates you and allows you to focus on what really is important, what you really want to put your life and energy toward.

2-11-16 Today as I meditated, feelings of hate came up. There was a time in my life when hate and anger were what fueled my life. It's been a long time since that was the case, and today, in recognizing the emotion, I opened myself to it and just felt it. I didn't think about it. I felt the jagged, bitter sweet rush that simultaneously constricts you and also sets you afire. I felt it and I let it go. That's what stillness really brings...the ability to feel what you're feeling and to let it go, while you discover what's underneath. You feel that as well and you let it go. The attachments fade away and what you're left with is your energy, not focused on someone or something else, but focused on what's really important, which for me is living my life on my terms.

2-17-16 The last few days has been a trial of stillness. This website went down and I went to a resource who could fix it, but I had to wait and be still. Not easy, especially for a big trip, but the website is back and what being still in this case helped me with was not reacting to a situation beyond doing what I needed to get it under control. I let go of everything else and focused on figuring out a proactive future response and then focused on what I could do elsewhere. Still feels good to have the site back up where it belongs.

2-18-16 Something I've been realizing lately about people I don't like. I don't like people who have no substance or hide their depth behind a mirror sheen image designed to deflect people away from knowing them. Whether its the love and light mystic who doesn't own their own shit, or the shallow status seeking materialist who has to have the latest Apple phone and computer and whatever else, but has nothing substantive to offer to the world, I just don't like those people. I have no use for them, because frankly they're fakers who are too afraid to do the hard work of owning their own shit and working through their issues. They can create whatever image they want, but its just an illusion that they're using to hide from themselves, as much as anyone else, and any person with some real perception will see through them really quick.

2-20-16 At Convocation. It's been a good trip so far, with classes well attended, and the opportunity to meet new people, including one person who I hope will start up a new chapter of magical experiments. I'll follow up with her once I'm back home, but it would be good to have another group up and running and encouraging the kind of thinking and exploration we need in magical work. I've been continuing the stillness work and I find it to be very grounding, which is helpful. I miss Kat. It's interesting to realize just how essential a person is to your life, when you really allow them in.

Why process allows you to experiment with magic

process Earlier today (at the time of this writing) I was teaching a class on the process of magic and how the Tree of Life can be used as a model to explore a given magical process. One of the points I made in the class is how important it is to understand how magic works, and that when you have a process mapped out to describe what is happening, it also helps you figure out what isn't working, so that you can make adjustments accordingly. In fact, what a process ultimately provides you is the means to experiment with magic.

Why?

What a process does is describe how your magical working ought to work from beginning to end. It describes your desired result as well as the steps that need to be taken, what principles of magic you'll draw on and what tools, resources and powers that be you'll work with in order to achieve the result. That descriptive map also clues you in on how you can personalize and experiment with your working, so that if you want to do something that isn't traditional, you can still pull it off because the process helps you understand how the magic should work once you've done it.

Principles of Magic

I like to think of it as elegant magic because what it really does is helps you simplify the magical work and make it your own. And really that's how magic ought to be...simple, focused, and helping you achieve the result you want. I think that what usually makes it so complex for people has more to do with not having a process in place...or what I call push button magic, where so much is invested in doing magic a particular way because that's the way magic is being taught or that's the way its written about, or because the spell says it needs these components.

The problem with push button magic is that it doesn't encourage critical thinking or awareness or experimentation. It simply takes a prescriptive approach to magic and says this is the way you do it, often with little to no explanation for WHY you do it that way. Yet such an approach dulls the magic, because it doesn't set people up to discover what really works for them and will help them achieve the desired results they want.

A process approach to magic, on the other hand, is a descriptive approach that encourages experimentation with magic precisely because it encourages critical awareness and thinking about what you are doing and why you are doing it. It also encourages you to look at each step and ask yourself what you can do to make it work better.

Personally I like that approach to magic because it encourages innovation and experimentation and personalization of your magical work. You figure out what really works for you, why it works, and then you implement it. And if there is a problem, you go into your process and figure out what the problem is and then make the changes. No guess work involved, just a process that can be taken apart and put back together in a way that actually encourages the person to understand what is happening, in order to make it successful.

I've always found that experimenting with magic makes what I do with it work very effectively, because I understand what's happening. I understand what each step does and how it feeds into the working. I understand how the result will manifest and I know what to look for if something goes wrong.

After my class, I spoke with a person who found me and my website because of my writings about magic and sound. She told me that my process approach to magic gave her permission to experiment with the folk magic she was doing and use it in ways that it hadn't been used before. It allowed her to create new products that she couldn't find anywhere else, because she now had a process that she could use to describe what she was doing and implement that process with confidence. I thought that was cool, not the least because I don't really do anything with folk magic, but here was this person who does, who could take a process approach to it and achieve real results.

A process approach to magic can be applied to any type of magical practice. What it sets up for that magical practice is a method for exploring what is really happening in that practice, and then making modifications accordingly. It's the basis of experimentation. Map out what you have, then start experimenting with what you can change. It's beautiful and elegant.

Magical Experiments radio show: January 2016 shows

Because I'm changing how I write for this site, I've decided to create a blog post once a month with links to the latest episodes of magical experiments radio, as well as any interviews I've recently done. If you've missed a show or just want to listen to an episode again, here's the latest batch. Magical Experiments Radio: The Madness and Enlightenment of Spiritual Retreats

Magical Experiments Radio: Astrology and Magic

Magical Experiments Radio: Space/Time Magic

Magical Experiments Radio: Pop Culture Magic Panel on Role Playing games and magic

New Normal Radio interview: I was recently interviewed on the new normal. You can listen to it here.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stillness month 15: Respect

Stillness 12-24-15 Writing those two open letters to the Pagan convention organizers has taken a weight off of me that I've carried for a long time. I'm glad I did it, regardless of what happens as a result. My meditations this last week have been a little scattered, but that's usually the case when you're dealing with something on your mind. I've been continuing to read and work through Awakening the Luminous Mind and some of the focus has been on the mind being empty. In doing the stillness work I've had moments where I've achieved a state of deep stillness and awareness without conceptual thought...and other times I've just had thoughts and emotions buzzing away in my mind. When you do this kind of internal work, both experiences can be valuable for different reasons. The thoughts and emotions can be that pain identity that needs to be experienced letting you know its there and that deep stillness can be that rich state of connection to everything that has no obstruction or block in place and is sublime in its experience. Acceptance of both experiences is essential. Focusing on trying to reach one experiences creates an attachment that actually pushes you further away. In a sense you just have to be willing to go with the experience you've got in the moment and see where it leads you.

12-27-15 Today I sat with feelings of fear, resentment, and shame around money and specifically spending money when it comes to kids. In sitting with it, inevitably what came up was my own experiences as a kid being transferred onto the current situation. While its fair to say that a lot of my basic needs were met, what I did encounter was that if I wanted something, I needed to earn it (which I think is reasonable) but when I got it would often be taken from me shortly after, because I'd be grounded for whatever stupid reason was the latest one. I also learned to be very thrifty because I would be told we can't afford that, which has its good and bad sides. So here I was today sitting with these feelings that had come up and recognizing how much those feelings contribute to my issues around money. I'm always trying not to spend it on anything not essential (according to me) but conversely also sometimes spending it on me. It's a weird dynamic, a double standard really and I don't like that either. So I sat with these emotions today and just felt them as they dissolved into stillness and I'll keep working with them so that I can resolve these issues. I think it'll lead to an even better relationship with my wife and kids, and also money, because I'm certain that some of this is sabotaging all of the above relationships.

1-1-2016 I came up with a collage for 2016, based on the theme of Respect. The last few months have involved a process of starting to respect myself in ways I never had before. Not surprisingly, this also extends to respecting other people more. There have been occasions in my life where I'e loathed myself and once a while I still feel that way, like when I recognize how I've hurt someone important to me in my life. Yet I also have something different than what I had before, a sense of certainty about myself, a conscious holding of space that I've worked hard to establish. That holding of space is carrying me forward into the work around respect I'm doing.

1-2-16 I've been reading the Outlander series as my brain candy reading. It's a good series, but one thing which stands out to me is how jealousy and possessiveness are treated in a favorable light. I have experienced bother emotions and what I've come away with is how much they're attachments. I think it's natural to feel jealous or possessiveness, but if its unexamined, it can become a fixation, an obsession. At the same time, its worth noting that sometimes what a person wants is to feel like they have a place with someone else. Will this person keep me? Will this person be committed to me? Jealousy and possessiveness is a kind of response. What I've learned with my own experience is just how important it is to be present with what I'm feeling so that if I choose to do something I'm not just reacting, but really figuring out what's informing my feelings so I can come at the situation from the right place.

1-5-16 I feel so happy and excited, so alive with possibility. Part of this is because of the Thrill class I'm taking, which is already helping me make changes in how I run my businesses. I'm respecting myself in a way I never have before, but more than that I'm stepping boldly into my identity and making it part of who and what I offer to anyone who wants to work with me. I've already made just a few changes and one of my businesses is taking off in a way it never had before. This is going to be a year of change and transformation, but I've already invited that in with the King's ride and I plan to go a lot further, with my businesses and my magical practice. This is the year of Respect and I'm taking it all the way to the top!

1-6-16 Today I signed up with the local recreation center so I can use their swimming pool. Swimming is a low-impact exercise that'll be good for for my joints. The irony is I haven't liked swimming for a long time due to being forced to take swimming lessons and go the swimming pool everyday when I was 14...seems like an opportunity to do some internal work around that. Plus it'll help me get to a healthier place with my body. I feel like doing this will allow me to connect with another part of myself that needs some healing and respect...do something that challenges me to go deeper.

1-7-16 I went swimming today for the first time. I can really feel it in my body, after the fact, but I actually kind of did enjoy it. This is me taking swimming back for myself so I can enjoy it again.

1-9-16 I started reading Magic Simplified by Draja Mickaharic. One of the very first things he says that is that desire is the first step to Manifestation, but that the other steps are more important. In considering what he wrote, I agree. Desire is a start, but means nothing without additional steps. It's potential, but potential becomes nothing without doing something to provide it form. As always I find Draja's work insightful, in no small part because of how practical it really is and also how simple it is. Simplicity is elegance with anything.

1-12-16 Sometimes you get hit with a moment of realization and it hits you hard. for me it was looking at the schedules of several conventions and realizing that after this year I may not be back at those conventions. A moment of panic and fear rose up and then I stilled myself and asked myself what the consequences were and they really weren't that bad or significantly different than what I'm already dealing with. I suppose as well that one of the reasons I'm feeling this way is because I'm making some big changes in everything I'm doing and it's a little overwhelming. Yet I know the end result will be worth it, for my sense of respect and my overall success. Winds will rise, rain will fall, storms will blow...stay the course to what is true for you.

1-15-16 Even though I'm working with the element of stillness, it really doesn't feel that way this month. There's lots of movement going on and I'm ok with that...it just makes me realize how you can't be still forever...inevitably you'll be moved and you'll need to move...and discover balance with all of that. Something else I've realized. I am not a conformist and I should take that desire not to conform and infuse it in all of my businesses. When I do that, it's part of what makes me come to life.

1-19-16 I'm working through some feelings of anger right now. Anger at all the times I was told what I could do or couldn't do, who I could be or couldn't be. All the times someone tried to control me, what I learned was to bury my anger and at the same time use it to subvert the people trying to control me. I couldn't express my anger directly, so I sabotaged them in whatever way I could...and that pattern has stayed in my life, showing up in other relationships. I see it now and I own it. It's a pattern I no longer need to keep in my life. It makes me both sad and angry. Sad that this pattern has been in my life so long and angry that it even came about in the first place when it didn't need to be. I just needed them to believe in me, instead of trying to control me. I just needed to be accepted for who I am instead of having someone try and make me into someone I'm not. Why couldn't I just be good enough as I was.

1-21-16 Today I feel balanced and focused. This has been an odd month. There hasn't been a lot of stillness in it and I've struggled to find it and yet also have allowed myself to be carried along the changes I've prompted for myself. When I've found stillness, it's been when I've allowed myself to be carried by the movement. In that motion I have nonetheless become still and through that found clarity in all this change I'm causing.

 

How to turn Zero into your spiritual ally and secret weapon

Last week I posted a video on how to work with Zero as a principle of space/time magic. However Zero is more than just a principle of space/time magic. Zero is a state of being. And Zero is a process. Zero is razor edged. It'll slice you up if you're not careful, and sometimes even if you are...

So why would you want to work with Zero?

Here's a secret you won't find in most books on magic. What makes magic work is what you put into it. All those spells you read about, with the incense, candles, etc....you know they only really work if you're willing to give yourself to what you're working with. And by giving yourself I mean putting something of yourself into the working to make it happen. If you hold back in some way, well that's when magic doesn't work. And Zero can teach you that because zero is infinite possibility, but more importantly Zero is a state of being that requires an investment of sorts from someone who works with it to turn it from one state of being into a different state of being.

With Zero what you have is a fundamental departure from the normal boundaries of space and time. As I explain in my Space/Time Foundations course (The next round is starting February 17th), the invocation of Zero puts you outside of linear time and space and as a result allows you to work with the infinite possibilities contained within it. But the infinite possibilities are seductive and its easy to get caught up in the lure of those possibilities without actually doing anything. The present themselves before you and can suck you right into them. Your challenge as a magician is to make a choice to turn the Possibilities of Zero into the Manifestation of One.

You have to learn to work with Zero first. Zero can come in many forms. It can be invoked through sound or experienced as a meditative state of stillness or brought about through pushing your limits so that you reach a place of sublime perfection where everything is crystalline clear and perfect, making sense in a way that defies description and yet nonetheless comes together seamlessly. That's the temptation and brilliance of Zero. Yet for Zero to become something more than just possibility, it relies on something essential that it lacks.

Zero

What does Zero need?

You and the principle of embodiment you represent. Actually that's true of the spirits in general. The reason they work with us (another secret you won't find in most books on magic) is because what we offer is a taste of the manifested world when we invest ourselves in the work we do with them. You can't turn a possibility into reality without a means of embodying that possibility and so the magician must act as the agent of embodiment. What the embodiment does is limit the possibility into tangible reality, something to be experienced in the linear space and time we are all part of.

With Zero you experience the infinite possibilities as a stream of consciousness, a flow of experience that allows you to open yourself to what could be. Then you pick what you need from what could be and you bring that into yourself and provide it the embodiment, the manifestation it needs to be more than just a possibility. Pretty amazing really.

You must have discipline to turn Zero into One, to turn away from the sublime perfection of entropy you experience and limit it into something you can work with in the reality of life. You give of yourself by choosing the possibility, because at that you've committed to it and made it part of your experience. That's really how magic works in general. It's so simple and yet so often people make it more complex. They add in lots of tedious details that keep you from really experiencing magic. And don't get me wrong those details can be helpful, but more often than not they end up becoming a distraction.

Zero can change that for you, become your spiritual ally and secret weapon where you strip away everything that isn't needed and get back to the pure simplicity of simply investing yourself in what you want to turn into a possibility. What Zero wants is that investment. You want it to, or you wouldn't be practicing magic. What Zero can do is show you how to make that investment by turning it into the 1 of manifestation and building from there.

Magical Experiments Radio: What is Inner Alchemy with Vincent Piazza

Magical Experiments Radio: The Mysteries of Avalon with Annwyn Avalon Obermeyer

Magical Experiments Radio: What is Atheo-Paganism with John Halstead

Magical Experiments Radio: Pop Culture Magic Panel with Terra Ahkert and Samantha Chaney

Book Review: Captain Z-Ro's Indispensable Book of Days by Bill Whitcomb

If you're a SF geek or a Fantasy nerd or a pop culture magician, this book is an indispensable resource for you. The author has put together a calendar/book of notable in SF/Fantasy as well as some other interesting finds within the book that you'll enjoy. This book made me smile a number of times and is one I recommend for the fantasy and SF geek in your home.

Book Review: Language Intelligence: Lessons on Persuasion from Jesus, Shakespeare, Lincoln, and Lady Gaga by Joseph Romm

If you are a writer or a presenter or someone just interested in understanding how language works, this book is a must read. In this book the author shares the rhetorical strategies of politicians and entertainers and show how these strategies are used to get fans, persuade people to causes, and otherwise influence how we think about the issues in our world. Reading this book was eye-opening for me and has helped change how I write as a result. If you want to become a better writer then read this book and keep it as a resource to draw on in your work.

The next round of the Process of Magic starts in 2 weeks!

The next round of the process of magic class starts in 2 weeks.

Magic is a process that changes you and your relationship with the world, if you understand how the process works.

In this 24 lesson class, we will explore what the process of magic is and how the principles of magic apply to you and the world around you. If you're tired of 101 books that say the same thing, but never teach you magic, or tired of the spell books that never explain how or why magic works this class is for you. If you want to understand how magic works, and how you can personalize it to fit your needs, this class is for you. You will learn how to:

  • Develop your own definition of magic and make it work.
  • Learn how magic works and what you can change to make it work consistently for you.
  • Personalize your magical system to improve its efficacy in your life.
  • Understand how to fix mistakes in your magical workings.
  • Achieve a deeper understanding of magic and its place in your life.

Whether you are just learning about magic or have been practicing for years the Process of Magic course focuses on what really matters: Learning how to use magic to proactively improve your life. In fact, you'll learn how to make magic part of your daily life in a way that actually enhances your life.

 

When you take the Process of Magic Correspondence course you get the following Benefits:

  • A comprehensive understanding of how magic works
  • Increased confidence in your magical workings.
  • Higher success rates in your magical work, as well as how to troubleshoot your magical workings
  • Connect the principles of this class to any magical tradition you are part of.
  • Deepen your relationship with magic as a force for change in your life.

Who should attend this class?

This class is for Pagans and Magicians who are serious about improving their magical expertise and who want to understand how magic works from a practical perspective. If you want more than just 101 books or spell books, this class is for you.

When does this class meet?

This class is a correspondence course, which means that I'll mail lessons to you each week.

About the Teacher

Hi, I’m Taylor Ellwood, mad scientist and magical experimenter. I love magic and I love teaching people how to apply it to their lives.

Learn more about Taylor

Bonuses

When you take this class, you get the following bonuses:

  • Access to an online private forum that is specifically for this class.
  • Free Teleconferences every other month to discuss the material directly with me!
  • Free MP3 Recordings of conferences.
  • A Free E-book copy of Creating Magical Entities.
  • Two bonus lessons.

How to Register

The investment for this class is $100. If you've been wanting to understand how magic works or how you can achieve more effective results, this class is for you.

An Example of the work people do through this class

Shauna Aura Knight has posted about her definition of magic, as a result of taking this class. Reading them will give you an idea of some of the work we do in this class:

Entry 1

Entry 2

Entry 3

More Testimonials

I have been reading and experimenting with magic and the occult for over five years and it seemed like I was going off in too many directions, without a map to guide me. I felt like I was spinning my wheels. This course helped me focus, without tying me into any particular Religion or belief system. If you are looking for a course that builds a foundation for your understanding and practice of Magic, this is the one!
This course has been amazing and I truly value your knowledge, experience and writing ability. I also like the fact that you are innovative and creative in your approach and take a progressive view of magic and are not mired down in some conservative tradition or other. You are on the “cutting edge” of magic and I am sincerely grateful to have the opportunity to take courses from you! Last but not least, you are ethical, conscientious and relate very well to your students.
Testimonial from G. Marlett
By describing the process of magic(k) rituals, Taylor Ellwood taught me how to enhance my work. He taught me how to analyze and improve some rituals I had made, how to apply proved techniques to experimental rituals for internal magic and how pop culture can also be useful for creating pantheons more in relation to oneself. After this class my rituals have been really effective, and I started to think of magic as a means for transforming myself to get the best out of my environment. Highly recommendable class, I'm really happy I took it.
Testimonial from Ivan Marquez

I'm really enjoying your class.  Especially helpful was how you showed the Tarot as offering up possibilities instead of viewing the cards in a rigid way.  I'm also working with the element of Earth for a year.  What I'm really finding from your class is that magic works.  You can't believe how many doors have started opening up for me that were right under my nose.

Testimonial from T. Vorster

I decided to take Taylor Ellwood's Process of Magic class after many years of magical practice and study as a way to reboot my work. I've been involved with a few traditions but have generally been very eclectic in my approach. In my view eclecticism is a strength if you can find a way to synthesize all of those disparate takes on the magical path. Taylor has stripped away most of the window dressings associated with magic. Instead of focusing on style and aesthetics he focuses on the roots of practice and the processes underlying them. For those who are already involved in magic but are wondering how to weave together the rich variety of strands available to us in the 21st century, examining the processes that underly all magic, no matter the flavor, is an excellent place to start. For newcomers and beginners this course will help you quickly move beyond the 101 stage and help you start getting your hands dirty with practical magic.

Testimonial from Justin Patrick Moore

I decided to take this course for I was searching for a way to synthesize various magical influences I have experienced over the years in my magical journey. Now I am in the middle of the course, still doing Lesson 9, but I already have learned far more than what I  expected from a single course. The course material is written in a clear style and there are no vague mystifications often found in magical texts. In the beginning the students are encouraged to examine all the elements of their magical practice. Taylor helps you to fully recognize your own definitions and mechanics of Magic that no other books or any other materials could not succeed to address. Then you will be introduced to ways to examine magical links and basis of altered states of consciousness for successful operations. One of greatest points in this course is you can have benefit from it no matter what your magical background is. It is perfectly designed to focus on core workings of Magic, so any person who has interest in any forms of magical practices will found it to be easily applicable to their own daily practice. This course is not just a correspondence course. You also have live interaction with Taylor. In such process you can share what you have found in your practice with him and people of same interest and you can have feedbacks that will lead you to deeper understanding of Magic. I truly recommend this course to anyone, novices and experts alike.

Testimonial from Yutaka Furuki

The Process of Magic was very helpful. Before the class, I had a mish-mash of ideas about how magic did and didn’t work. The course helped me to see the relationships between components and outside forces of magic in a way that made them make far more sense to me, so I could get better results from my workings. I highly recommend for a newbie or for someone like me who wants to create a firm foundation to build a practice on.

Testimonial from David Kaiser

The Process of Magic class really helped me to define what magic is to me and why I was sometimes having a difficult time getting results - and helped me to understand why I got results when I did! The classes lead to some very introspective, and sometimes uncomfortable, moments; but it has helped me to become a better, more aware, magician. The addition of the in-person teleclasses adds a very useful dimension to talk through any concerns and challenges with Taylor and my fellow students. I'd recommend this class to anyone who is interested in doing effective magic.

Testimonial from Victoria aka Leona Oigheag

Insightful class that I wish I had taken way earlier in my journeys. Thanks for teaching it, Taylor.

Testimonial from Kelli Carner

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Stillness Month 14: Shame and Respect

Eligos 11-25-15  Yesterday I finished writing all the changes to the magical experiments site (for now). It's funny that even in taking a retreat from writing, I'm still writing...just not writing for anyone else. Taking this retreat has been good for me though, because how I write for other people will change as a result of taking it. I value my writing and myself enough to make that change and whether anyone else appreciates that or not is a moot point I suppose. What matters is that I'm respecting myself as an artist and author.

11-29-15 Tomorrow's the last day of the retreat. It's been a good experience for me to just slow down and take stock of who I am and how that's showing up in my life. I'll admit I find it a bit ironic that I actually did a fair amount of writing during this retreat, but it wasn't writing for other people...it was writing for my businesses and me. Eligos has really been helpful through this and I plan on doing a lot more work with him as a result. He's become part of the pantheon of my life.

12-1-15 Part of my realizations around shame and respect has to do with the fact that I've compared myself to other people doing what I do. I don't think the comparison is really helpful. It has a shame component built into it I ask myself why do I even do it and inevitably what I come back to is that I'm a fairly competitive person, but also that so much of that comparison comes down to wanting to fuck with authority figures. Take that back further and that wanting to fuck with authority figures goes all the way back to childhood and wanting to feel empowered in a situation where I didn't have any power and so now that's displaced onto this comparison thing and there's shame mixed in because part of me is saying, "Well you must not be good enough, if these people are doing what you do so much better than you." It sucks and I feel this choking feeling. But I just need to sit with it, forget the comparison and the desire to fuck with authority which really has nothing to do with these people and just sit with the feeling of shame and let it unfold. It's so hard to do, yet I need to do it so much if I ever really want to shine.

I'm not respecting myself if I choose to do something because someone else is doing it. Anything I do needs to come from a place of genuine respect for myself. What I offer will be better for it, for myself, and the people wanting what is offered.

12-2-15 Today I invoked Abrimel and Ponclast (part of Dehara) to help me work through the competitive shame I was feeling. I let myself feel the emotion in my body. I found that it was rooted in my belly and it gave me some insight into how I eat...that eating in some ways is a response, a way to feel good and yet really to bury the emotions in my stomach that I don't want to feel. I was always told as a young kid that I was a good eater, one of the only compliments I ever got. Some food for thought with that one. Anyway Abrimel and Ponclast just helped me to hold space with what I was feeling. As I dove into the feeling of shame around my competitiveness I felt that pain rise up and at the same time unravel, revealing various memories and experiences I'd had. I felt tears running down my face as I heard that phrase, "You're a disappointment." I saw/experienced my own response, my determination to do my own thing and to undermine this person who saw fit to judge me for my choices. And at the same time I felt the rage and shame just set me up to do things in a harder way than I needed to. I stayed and felt this shame for a while. I'll revisit it tomorrow, sit with it, embrace it and then let it go.

12-6-15 As I meditated today, I ended up working with shame in regards to wanting to be noticed, which certainly plays a role in my competitive nature. When I grew up I was neglected by my dad and step-mom unless I did something bad at which point I was told what a disappointment I was and grounded and sometimes punished in other ways. Even if I was doing an activity such as chorus, I was told it wasn't good enough and why was I wasting time doing an activity like that as opposed to playing some sport or another. Later in my teenage years this same feeling came up in relationship to my "peers" and how popular or unpopular a person was. To me, getting noticed has played a simultaneous role of either not being good enough or being valued for something by someone. There's a lot shame there and I realize part of it is based on the lack of self-esteem and respect I've had for myself because I wasn't good enough...or I needed someone else's approval to be good enough. I'm done with that. I don't need someone else's approval to be good enough. What I need is to respect myself and be shameless about what I love doing. And if anyone else wants to come along for the ride, that's fine, but I don't need their approval to do what I wish to do.

12-7-15 Today I meditated on how insignificant I feel. It was prompted by seeing the schedule of another author the other day and seeing how many events this person is presenting at. Instantly competitive jealousy unsheathed its claws and  I sat with it some last night as I was telling Kat about it. Today I sat with it further and I realized that I feel insignificant and part of being noticed is feeling significant, feeling like what I'm doing actually matters. What if it doesn't? I felt so small. Yet who was making me feel small? Me. No one else. Just me and my inner demons. I can let them do that or I can do something about it. I suppose that's what all this work is about. I'm doing something about it. Feeling insignificant is hard, especially when you sit with it, but so is sitting with any of the things I've been sitting with. You sit with it, open yourself to the experience, open yourself to the pain identity and it hurts and yet you see how it's defined your behavior and actions, defined your identity and so it becomes a question of whether you want that to continue being your identity or if you want to liberate yourself from that identity. I choose the latter.

12-11-15 Sometimes you do so much internal work that you become that work. It's another form of pain identity. Yes the internal work is important, but you've got to balance it with practical work as well.

12-16-15 The last few days have been really good for me. Kat and I had a long talk about my feelings of competitive jealousy and she helped me see just how much I was giving my energy to the people I'd been feeling jealous of. When you become a hater, you become that person's servant. You hate them for it, but you serve them because you're focused on them and their activities. Letting that go is another form of embracing shamelessness about who I am because I'm not letting me identity be defined any further by someone else.

I've also been doing some further thinking about how I write. I'm recognizing that I need to incorporate story and mythology into my writing. I've been studying how this other person writes, who I'll be taking a class from and trying my own version of viral writing out and each time I'm learning something from the writing and also from what she does.  I'm excited about the possibilities for my business and look forward to seeing what else I can do.

12-20-15 Today and yesterday I rolled the dice and called out issues I have with the Pagan convention circuit. Pretty much since the beginning I've had issues with how things are run, but I always held back from saying anything because I didn't want rock the boat or for other reasons. I'll admit I'm a bit anxious about doing it, but all this work around shame and respect has made it clear to me that I need to stop holding myself back. I may not always like the consequences, but if I do nothing I'll like that result even less. I know there will be some people who don't like what I have to say, but when has that ever not been the case? Genuine change doesn't occur without risk and so I'll take the risk and adapt to whatever results occur, knowing I can live with myself as a result.

12-21-15 I didn't sleep much last night. Writing those two posts and sitting with the resultant anxiety wasn't easy. At some point Kat woke up and noticed my restlessness and I told her my fears...that I might alienate some fellow presenters I know, that I might never present again and she told me that taking my stand was what I needed to do and that she'd seen the numerous times I'd felt frustrated with the inequities I'd observed. She told me that yeah I'd taken a stand and maybe as a result I wouldn't be at other conventions, but that I'd find a way to succeed and that I had already made the choice not to be at those conventions anyway so what was I really worried about? And she's right. I will find a way to succeed. I couldn't continue to just participate in a system I didn't agree with and while I recognize that perhaps what I'm calling for is asking for a lot, I also think if nothing is ever said, nothing is ever changed. If the result, for me, is that I'm blacklisted, I can accept that as the price for pushing for some much needed change.