Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 4


1-22-2019 Last night I started working with the Affinities. This work felt like I was supercharging myself and the elevations and adding further correspondences that would help me go deeper if I’m doing work with the Tree of Life or even as a way of drawing on those specific resources for ritual work. In a very real sense it feels like what I’m creating are batteries I can draw on when needed, but also guides that can help me take my spiritual work further.

1-24-2019 I’ve been continuing to work with the affinities and what I notice is that they do seem to supercharge the elevation even further while also creating a resonance effect within me, tuning the internal elevation further. I’m not sure what the end process will be but I do feel a stronger connection to the Archangels as well as to the elements, cosmos and underworld, so I’m willing to keep working at it and seeing where it takes me.

I also had a very important realization around creativity and jealousy today. I’ve been reading the Courage to be Disliked and the author talks about how competition clouds the judgement of a person and distracts them from their work. This really struck me because that’s what happened to me. I got jealous of other peoples’ success and I let that jealousy influence my work to the point that I was working on projects I really didn’t enjoy instead of being true to myself and what I excel at. I fortunately, eventually, stopped comparing myself to other authors, but I see now how jealousy put me into this power struggle that was unrealistic and unhelpful to my work and community. Competition clouds the judgement and makes a person only see victory or defeat, but if you can stop competing, you can realize there are other paths. I’m walking my own path now, without having to compare myself to others, but when I feel that comparison come up, this valuable realization can help me work through it and get back to what matters.

I’ve also been reading the Spell of the Sensuous and Process Mind and both books having me thinking about your body opens you up to experience with the world around you. In a very sense the choice to open yourself to experiencing your body is also the choice to open yourself to the world in ways you might otherwise block yourself.

1/29/2019 I’ve been continuing my work with the affinities and what I’ve noticed is that each affinity feels similar to the elevation work I did, but also how it builds off the elevations. They both seem to change each other, and at the same time it creates this connection with the tree of life, because the affinities are matched up with the tree. I notice it also feels like I’m mapping the tree to my body. It’s a fascinating process.

1-31-2019 It’s good to be reminded that the problems you have aren’t unique ones. When I can talk with someone and they can say I have this similar problem, it puts things into perspective. i think the same applies with creativity. When there is shared experience, it can inform how you solve a problem or at least remind you that you aren’t alone.

2-1-2019. Today feels like a closing and a beginning wrapped up in one. It would be my dad’s birthday, but he is gone, so it is a closing. Yet it also a beginning because of the work I’m diving into.

I'm continuing to see positive results with the self-publishing and also finding that I'm continuing to write more and work on projects than I had previously. This seems to be the course for the forseeable future, with lots of projects that speak to and through me.

When you're in touch with the creative impulse, what it generates is transformation in all its forms and invites you to partake.

Remember what you partake of will change you. For me this process of creative transformation is very exciting, because I'm welcoming the journey and wherever it takes me.

2-3-2019 I’ve been using January to wrap up projects from 2018. But now I’m thinking a lot about what 2019 will look like in terms of my work.I want to write at least one non-fiction book and I’d like to also launch my fiction website and the first couple seasons of at least one fiction project. My time is limited, so even though I have lots of creative ideas, I know I need to focus. I’m also writing articles and producing content regularly for this site, which is important so part of it is really finding that right balance for everything.

2-4-2019 I wrapped up the affinities work tonight. Doing them altogether felt like I was mapping the tree of life to my body, while meshing the stellar cosmos energy of the affinities and planetary energies with the underworld energies of the elevations and the elemental energies of the holy fires. It was an intense feeling and recognition that all this work essentially prepped me for the next step which is an iteration of this process wile working with all of the above at the same time.

2-6-2019 In The Courage to be Disliked, the authors make the point that its important to not seek recognition from others. They go onto explain that you can’t satisfy other peoples’ expectations and that trying to stops you from taking the actions you need to take, because then you’re basing it off validation. I agree with this. I did this for a time and its clear to me that during that time I could not satisfy the perceived expectations I placed on myself. It’s only when I stopped that I became happier and more focused. I realize that the desire for recognition is part of jealousy as well. I see this other person being recognized and I want that for myself…but how little has that helped me. Letting go of recognition has been one of the best decisions of my life.

In The Sphere of Art 2, I came to fully appreciate that the ongoing work I’m doing with the sphere is helping me achieve a deeper connection with the forces I’m working with while also establishing a specific experience that aligns me with elemental/planetary and alchemical experiences that deepen my understanding of the tree of life, but also how all it relates to the human experience. And also the realization that aligning with Eros, the fundamental movement of the universe is a different approach to magic that nonetheless causes things to move along, if you surrender the need for control and let the experience carry you.

2-15-2019 RJ sent me a copy of the Rite of Light, which is a rare book released by William G. Gray. When I opened the package, the book seemed to emanate light. I could feel Gray’s presence and flipping through it immediately told me that the book will help me develop the work I’m doing even further with the sphere of art.

Speaking of the SOA, I’ve been doing the elevations again, but this time with the holy fire and affinities. I’ve noticed a condensing effect, where including all three at once seems to create a different experience than just working with them individually.

I’m also contemplating some diet changes as a result of reading the Tao of Health. What’s fascinating is how some of the changes I’ve already made align with what the book mentions about the the optimal diet for the body. Simply listening to my body and trusting what it has indicated to me is already providing great benefits for my health.

2-17-2019 I’ve spent the last couple of days carefully monitoring what I’m eating and how my body feels after I eat. What I’m discovering is that making a couple simple changes in how i’m eating and what I’m eating is making a difference in how my body feels after I eat. Instead of feeling heavy and weighed down, I’m feeling light and focused. It’s fascinating to feel and so I’m going to continue with these alterations and discover how my body responds as a result.

I also continued my work with SOA today and this time when working on the 8th elevation/affinity to Binah I felt this radiating energy go through me. I am continually realizing that this work I’m doing is just the beginning of what will undoubtedly be some very extensive explorations with the sphere, and the associated correspondences that can be built with it.

2-19-2019 I finished reading SOA 2, but this time with the weight of experience I read it differently. There are a few projects I want to try that are described in the book, so after my latest round with the affinities/elevations, I’m going to get started on them. I’ve been also continuing to read the Courage to be Disliked and its helping me navigate some situations better, because I’m looking at my role/duty and asking myself if I’m extending myself too far, taking on too much and the answer is yes. In some cases I have and that has created the stress. Stepping back from that is helpful, owning what my responsibility is, but not taking someone else’s responsibility is refreshing. The more I work through this book, the more I realize that the meaning I invest in something is what gives that something power in my life, so I’m getting much more selective about my investments.

2-20-2019 Reading the Courage to be disliked has been valuable for me as an artist and magician. It’s helping me clarify what’s my responsibility and what isn’t and allowing me to let go of unneeded stress and anxiety as a result. I’m recognizing what I can change and what can’t be changed, and as a result this is allowing me to focus my efforts on what really matters. In a sense this book has just helped me take essentialism even further. At the same time I’m going deeper with my relationships. The other night allowed myself to express and feel sadness, without beating myself up about the situation. For me, that’s a huge step forward, and it felt much healthier. I can hold my space and be confident in what I have without letting it take me over. This is why I read books like that because it provides a different lens through which to make changes and adapt your sense of self. Why hold yourself back when you can be so much more by simply entertaining different perspectives that may enlighten you to what can be changed and worked with, instead of suffered?