spirits, Magic
Taylor Ellwood
The relationship between sacred kingship and ...

One of the books I’m reading lately is King, Warrior, Magician, Lover by Robert Moore and Doug Gillette. It’s a fascinating book that explores the archetypes of the mature and sacred masculine. This is currently part of the spiritual work that I’m engaged in as I explore my own relationship with masculinity and heal the ancestoral and contemporary wounds that I’m becoming aware of as it relates to how masculinity is treated and perceived in modern times.

One of the aspects I’m exploring in particular is related to sacred kingship and the land. I am in the process of exploring the new city and surrounding areas that I live in. While I’ve lived here for a year, I didn’t have much opportunity until recently to really begin exploring the area and developing a relationship with the land. I find it fitting and useful that part of the process has also involved cultivating a relationship with the land, particularly on the basis of the relationship has with their home and how that relationship plays out in sacromagical work one does in connecting with the land.

elemental balancing ritual

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Connection and Truth Month 12

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9-21-2021 Today I’ll be switching over to Ouranos (Uranus). This morning my magical partner and I collected dew from the bottles and afterwards we talked about partnerships and feasts and I note this only because it happened while we were collecting and distilling the dew for the archaeus work and since such conversations are happening its worth noting as a relevant and related to the energy and efforts of the work we are doing.

I meditated on plate 12 of The Mutus Liber. It’s almost the same as plate 9 though there are subtle differences. I didn’t get any specific insights beyond what I’ve already gotten, but I noticed the triangle shape again and the offering to Mercury.

Also I did switch over to Ouranos (Uranus)/Metatron and felt a sense of welcome. Last year, the creativity work was ended in such a weird way, because of events. It felt like this month is actually a redemption tour of sorts and I got the cover of my newest book today, so that felt significant as well.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Connection and Truth Month 11

8-22-2021 Last night I switched over to the Neptune current and worked with Ratziel, the archangel of the book and key. I did the ritual under the full moon, which is conjunct with Saturn and Jupiter. It felt appropriate because I had wrapped up the work with Saturn. What was nice is that I got to do the Sphere of Art in Eugene finally. I felt like doing that work, down here, really sealed me to this new space I am living in. I feel this deep sense of contentedness and peace, something I haven’t felt in a while, if ever. It surprises me to feel it, but I know I’m home. I know this is where I belong, at least for the forseeable future.

Today I’m continuing to unpack my home. It feels off to finally be putting art up that I haven’t seen in a year, and to be unpacking books, but mostly it makes me happy to be in an environment where I feel wanted and welcomed, even if its just by myself. I finally have a space of my own, and I didn’t realize how much I needed it. I feel welcomed in other ways as well and this has helped me feel at peace with my move, because I know I belong here.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Connection and Truth Month 10

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7-21-2021 today I switched over to Binah/Saturn. Given that I recently did a Saturnic ritual it felt appropriate. I had a continuing realization that it doesn’t matter what I do in the short term, because what I’m really dealing with is my own pain and suffering and I am the author of that, for the most part. It helped me come to an important realization and a sense of peace about the choices I need to make in order to move forward with a number of things. I think my time of chaos is coming to a close. I will still have some grieving to do and other processing, but I can do it and I can also commit to the path forward that will pay off down the line.

7-23-2021 The last couple of days have involved a number of job interviews. What’s been interesting for me is realizing that I’m juggling these different possibilities and trying to decide which ones I’ll explore and which to let go. I let go of one because it was clear I wasn’t the right fit. I feel this very Saturnic weaving coming into play which is actually helpful because I’m ruling out what doesn’t work for me, in favor of figuring out what could work as well as what I want to do with what I’m learning. And through it all I’m also recognizing I’m going to have to make short term sacrifices to get to where I want to go.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Connection and Truth Month 9

6-22-2021 I find it dryly ironic that as I switch over to Chesed today I recognize in full how much my situation has changed on the material front. When you live with someone else, you don’t always fully recognize how much that can shape your perception of the cost of living. Then if you become single or go out on your own you start to realize how much your situation has changed and how you have to plan accordingly. Today it really hit me how much my situation has changed and how this is one of the consequences of choosing to leave. It’s not a fun feeling to sit with, but I need to do it and accept the consequences of my choices. This is part of that path of finding my connection and truth and the cost that comes with it.

6-24-2021 Yesterday I got the divorce papers. It kind of brings home that we’re done, although I’ve been having that realization in other ways as I wrote above. In one sense I question whether I’ll really be able to figure out what’s next. My mom told me this kind of stuff is hard and I believe it, especially when you’re having to pick up all the pieces of your life and sort them out as best you can. I am trying my best and that’s all I’ve got…

Elemental Balancing Ritual Connection and Truth Month 8

5-22-2021 I posted a cartoon on Facebook that essentially had this person find this oracle, which told him that some of his problems were of his own causing and I wrote that the one thing all your problems have in common is you. My friend Colleen pointed something out that I felt was rather appropriate since I’m working with martian energy this month. She pointed out that all your problems having you in common is actually a form of abusive self-dialogue because sometimes other people are the cause of your problems and you aren’t the reason the problem is happening. Her response really got me thinking about how far too often I’ve blamed myself for problems that have happened and taken too much responsibility on when perhaps it really was someone else’s responsibility. It’s definitely something I am going to work with further this month.

I did some more of the wood element workshop. The main focus was on working with the ligaments and it was quite intense work. Naturally some internal stuff came up and I worked through it, releasing grief with each release of the ligaments. It did make me reflect on some realizations I’ve been having around my life and the way people have shown up in the past. Afterwards I meditated with the alchemical substances for Mars and Geburah and worked on releasing judgment of myself and others. Working with Geburah in that way is interesting, because typical it is a rather severe energy to work with, yet, I think sometimes people ignore the more subtle ways to work with a given Sephiroth. In this case, learning how to release judgments of yourself and other can be just as relevant as any other work you might do in that sephiroth.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Connection and Truth Month 7

4-22-2021 Today I moved into working with the alchemical aspects of the sun. I feel it’s appropriate because I’m at the dawn of my new life, with the sun beginning to show me the way forward. I don’t know how I’ll get where I’m going yet, but I see some possible ways forward. And I am focused on my connection and truth to lead the way forward.

4-25-2021 The last few days I’ve been doing a lot of door dash, but I’ve also had the opportunity to talk with a friend of mine, S. V.. We ended up talking for a few hours but our respective life changes and other such things and it was good to have such a discussion and also discuss possibilities. Today I took the day off from driving so I could work on some projects, but most importantly I made time to read and paint, and go for a walk. The relaxation is as important as the work, it fuels the work and makes for better manifestation.

I feel a sense of calm and peace pervading my being. Some of that has come from a session with Ingo Komenda, and some of it is my own continual internal work. I haven’t felt this free to just be in quite some time, and it makes me reflect and recognize that as sad as recent changes have been, I think they have been necessary changes. I move forward into the unknown, with anticipation and excitement for what possibilities I’ll discover, what experiences may be had, and enjoy the journey, letting the light of the Sun guide me.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Connection and Truth Month 5

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2-23-2021 I switched over to the alchemical substances for mercury yesterday, which in relationship to connection and truth is all about communication. In the meditation work I’ve been doing lately, I’ve been focused on recognizing contractions, where a block forms because of one’s internal defenses. I think of it as a form of compartmentalization, because this sense of contraction seems brought on by a need to try and dissociate with an experience. Or maybe that’s just my experience with it.

I’ve also been continuing to read The Body keeps the Score which essentially discusses how the body internalized traumatic experiences. Reading the book has helped me more readily recognize my own trauma from past experiences, but also consider how trauma is created and what role you can play in the trauma another person has experienced because of your actions.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Connection and Truth Month 4

1-22-2021 I switched over to working with the alchemical substances for the moon. I’ve also figured out how to integrate Bua Gua into this work as well as some work with elemental spirits. I’m feeling rather excited at the possibilities of what could be done with this work and the evolution of my work with the sphere of art as well. I also ended up doing some dream work, which was appropriate with working with the moon. That dream work helped me have a pivotal realization around my own sense of worth and how I’ve let that be compromised sometimes. That realization will help me make better choices with how I take care of myself and with the people I allow into my life on a personal level.

1-25-2021 In the Happiness Trap the author makes an important point: We aren’t good or bad people and the arbitrary value judgments we place on ourselves creates a tension within ourselves when we feel a need to label ourselves as good or bad. This got me thinking about how I’ve labeled myself in the past, and how those labels have shaped my identity in ways that have ultimately been more harmful than helpful. So I’m giving myself space NOT to label myself as good or bad, but simply to be and to allow myself to let go of those values judgments of my identity and instead recognize that I’m simply a person who has made choices, and instead of even defining those choices as good or bad, I’ve simply acknowledged that those choices have had consequences and impacts that should be noted and considered carefully. It’ a different way of looking at things, but its helpful.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Connection and Truth Month 3

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12-22-2020 Today I started integrating the Sphere of Art work with the Qi gong work I’m doing. I did the sphere of art ritual and then worked with the alchemical substances for the underworld. Then I did the qi gong work and followed up with meditation, where I also mediated the alchemical substances for the underworld. It was an interesting experience because this time I felt the underworld energies mesh with the qi I had cultivated during the qi gong work. There didn’t seem to be any conflict with the connection of the energies, but of course I’ll test this carefully.

I’ve been reading the 48 laws of Power and what strikes me about this book is that I learned these laws from my dad. I doubt he ever read the book, but so far the laws discussed fit his behavior. He knew how to create an air of mystery, when to keep his mouth shut, but also when to make a scene. He was a cypher and I learned a lot of this from observing him. Of course I’ve also learned some of these laws just from my own experiences, but its fascinating to read this book and recognize my missteps (where I didn’t execute the laws successfully) as well as my successes with those same laws. I’m only part way through the book but it is quite illuminating, especially when you are already putting some of those laws in to action.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Connection and Truth Month 2

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11-23-2020 One of the skills I’m practicing now, from The Happiness Trap is recognized when I’m hooked on a story I’m telling myself. By recognizing that I’m caught in the story, I can then step back and unhook myself from it and refocus on what really matters. It’s proving helpful in terms of recognizing the internal stories I tell myself and diffusing them. It’s also helping me be more productive again, because I’m not letting those stories dictate my day and take over my energy.

11-25-2020 One of the realizations I’m continuing to work through is the realization around expectations that I impose on myself as well as the ones imposed on me in the fast. I tend to push myself very hard, because that was always the expectation put on me. Over the last few months I’ve been trying to work less and relax more. Today I talked with Kat about some of my fears around the expectations I’ve put on myself and it really helped to unpack those further and acknowledge those are really just stories I’m telling myself that don’t serve me. I can be more productive by actually doing less.

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Case Study: Creating the Elemental Balancing Ritual

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I created the Elemental Balancing Ritual in 2004 and I have used it ever since then as a year-long (or more) magical working dedicated to an element that I work with during that year, as a means of both doing internal work and aligning myself with the elemental energy I’m working with. Elements I’ve worked with include earth, fire, and water, but also include emptiness, love, movement, still, and creativity. This year I’m working with the elements of Connection and Truth, which is the first time I’ve worked with two elements, but there’s a reason for it, because of the spirits I’m working with.

My definition of an elemental energy and/or spirit differs from the conventional definition which only recognize 5 elements: Earth, Air, Fire, Water and Spirit in the West and Earth, Water, Wood, Metal, and Fire in the East. I’m not basing my definition of elements solely on a seasonal perspective or from the perspective of what constitutes the Earth in a primal sense of the word. Instead I consider elements to be primal forces that move us and are mediated by us. For emptiness, as an element is something most people grapple with at some point in their lives and it is something that can move a person to take actions to try and fill that emptiness or come to peace with it.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 24

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9-22-2020 This is the last month I’m working with creativity as an element. When I look back over the last couple years, overall, I’m happy with the work I’ve done and how it changed my relationship with creativity. I think my biggest takeaway though was learned in the last couple months. I need to protect my creativity and I need to protect who and what helps protect my creativity. My creativity is what feeds my soul, but its also my livelihood and to let anything get in the way of that is to disrespect a fundamental part of myself that must be taken care of, so it can do the work its called to do.

9-23-2020 I’ve been processing some emotions the last couple days over recent events and how I feel toward certain people. And it’s helped re-reading The Slight Edge, where the author talks about the power of time and how the real power of time is the gradual changes that occur. They aren’t dramatic or loud, but they happen gradually, and if you apply the slight edge to time in a positive way, you make those changes work for you.

For me that slow gradual work is found in trying to find forgiveness in my heart for myself and other people as I slowly detangle and unwind from the recent drama of life. And its also found in coming to grips with my accountability for my actions and choices. The Slight Edge reminds me that it’s all a matter of time and that these moments will inevitably pass to new ones and what will be found in those moments will in part be informed by the work being done now.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 23

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8-22-2020 I started reading Beyond Victim Consciousness today. It had been recommended by a friend and given recent events, I felt like it would be useful to take a look and see what might be applicable to myself. My first impression is that some of the perspectives the author shares reminds me of the Adlerian psychology espoused in The Courage to be Disliked, namely that you choose the perception you have as opposed to how trauma defines. I don’t fully agree with that perspective, but I also recognize how much my own trauma can become can excuse, which really isn’t useful, if I’m going to own my choices and the consequences of them. In that sense the perspective I bring to an event defines that event subjectively. And it is all to easy to use a given perception to justify your actions, choices, blamelessness or blame, so I’m really sitting with that. I’ll be curious to see how the rest of this book can inform my journey forward, as well as what I learn from the past.

8-23-2020 I read some more of Beyond Victim Consciousness tonight. Victim consciousness wants to be right, wants to protest, wants to control, wants to make others as we are and when they refuse we become angry and punish them. An internally focused perspective wants peace and accepts the situation as it is, recognizing that the perspective you apply to the situation dictates the experience of the situation.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 22

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7-22-2020 Today when I did my meditation the archangels told me that the next three months is all about an integration of everything I’ve done before with the Sphere of Art, as well as the Qi Gong I’m doing. “That’s more than enough work for you right there, especially with everything else you’ll be doing.” And they told me that all of this would continue to lay the ground work for transformation. So I accepted what they said and just focused on the integration. It is important to make time for the work you’ve done, to ground it and embody it in you and that time, for me, is right now.

7-23-2020 I’m rereading the Slight Edge and he makes an excellent point that changing how you think about what you do matters, because how you think about what you do dictates how you actually do it, and if you even do it. What makes a person successful at whatever they’re doing is the thought that seeds the actions and keeps them doing what needs to be done, even when the person is seeming to fail. It’s a good reminder for me.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 20

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5-22-2020 I had some vivid dreams last night around some actions and behaviors that I feel a deep sense of shame about. And in the meditation today, the focus was around not just moving to the supernal of Chesed, Geburah and Tiphareth but also around working with that feeling of shame and coming to a place of forgiveness for myself…coming to a place where I wasn’t beating myself for past actions and choices but instead simply acknowledging my responsibility while forgiving myself as well. And to be clear...It’s not that I want forgiveness from anyone else, but rather that I choose to forgive myself as a deliberate action to find healing around things that I did.

5-23-2020 I decided to sign up for the cloud hands qi gong class coming up in the early part of June. I feel like it will contribute to that deeper exploration of the internal work I’m currently undergoing. This deeper internal work is allowing me to encounter some deeper blockages around shame, rejection, and other issues that I haven’t fully dealt with. This morning I had a realization about my former relationships and how rejected I felt in most of them, which contributed to my reactionary behavior around them. If I was feeling rejected in the main relationship, I’d try and go elsewhere. That in turn would reinforce the behaviors on the part of the other person, creating a vicious loop that really hurt all involved.

Fortunately I’ve managed to change that with a lot of internal work on my part and lately because I’m going deeper its giving me to chance to work on these blockages around shame and rejection that are deeply embedded and begin undoing them and forgiving myself in the process. It’s not easy work, because it really does bring me face to face with judgement, but also with compassion, which makes the supernal work around all of this perfect. I need to find the right balance of accountability and responsibility with self-forgiveness. I think I can do that with this work.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 19

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4-24-2020 This month I switched over to working with Kether, Chockmah and Binah, with the associated archangels, planetary energies etc. The focus of the meditation has involved being present with all three sephiroth and the paths that connect them, while opening myself to the experience of all that being mediated through me. It builds off what I’ve previously done with an aim toward encompassing the entire experience.

Along with that, I’ve been continuing to do Gods play in the clouds Qi gong and the basic Bua Gua walk I’ve learned. What I’m noticing is a distinct change in my chi and ho the energy feels. It’s meshing with the sphere of art work as well. I feel like this is an integral part of the path forward with this work.

4-26-2020 Working with the supernals is different from working individually with the Sephiroth. You’re dealing with the interplay of energies, which can be its own thing, it can be tempting to sort it out, when in fact, it just needs to be experienced as its ow thing. It’s a good reminder to not control the experience, but instead simply be open to it.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 18

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3-23-2020 Last night I transitioned over to Ain Soph Aur/Pluto/Suvuviel. The three veils aren’t typically included in a Tree of Life work, but it seemed appropriate to me that I work with them. But I’ll admit I sense of morbid amusement that I would start working with Pluto on this month, of all months, when we’re dealing with the corona virus. Then again, it really is appropriate because Pluto is about death and rebirth and all of us, in one form or another, are going through exactly that.

Suvuviel is also appropriate because he’s the archangel of the present, and of the spirit cord. He ties everything together with the cord, but he can also unravel the cord. He’s present in all moments, because he is part of the present.

When I connected with Ain Soph Aur/Pluto/Suvuviel, I felt like I was at the very pinnacle of the solar system, looking back at the sun and the planets, at the earth and everything going on and I felt Suvuviel come through and explain that part of this experience is necessarily about seeing the entire picture, looking beyond the immediate circumstance to the underlying patterns. I’m not just looking at this moment in time, but all the work I’ve done the previous 17 months.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 17

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2-23-2020 Yesterday I switched over to Kether/Uranus/Metatron. Modern quabalists associate Kether with Uranus and this makes sense to me because of the current of creativity and sacrifice that runs through Uranus. When I switched over to this month, the switch felt like a departure from the currents of Neptune to this place of being, gentler in a way, and yet also insistent on discovery the potential within the being.

In tonight’s meditation Metatron talked with me about creativity and how the sacrifices a person makes with creativity need to be chosen carefully. What are you willing to give? What are you willing to choose and what are you willing to give away? Creativity doesn’t happen in a void. Potential is boundless until a choice is made.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 16

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1-22-2020 Tonight I connected with Ratziel/Chockmah/Neptune. I know Neptune isn’t traditionally associated with Chockmah, but I actually think it makes a lot of sense, when you consider that Chockmah is both wisdom and pressure. Chockmah fine tunes everything and when I consider that seat salt is the alchemical substance associated with Chockmah as well as my previous experiences with the planetary energy of Neptune, it seems to make a lot of sense. Ironically, William G. Gray doesn’t set a lot of store by associating Neptune with Chockmah, though he notes its done by modern day quabalists. The irony is that his own explanation of Chockmah and Ratziel completely supports the connection, but it makes me wonder if ever worked with the planetary energy of Neptune.

Ratziel also showed up and what was interesting is that she made it a point to show me how Chockmah and Binah connect and work together. I felt suspended between the saturnic energy of Binah and the Neptunic energy of Chockmah and I felt how that balance played off each other and strengthened each other. It also gave me ideas about where to take this work next. Feeling balanced between both forces made me realize how essential this work is because in finding this balance, I’m also creating opportunities to deepen my connections with the powers and work with the more holistically. There’s a lot more to share, but I’ll do it once I’ve had more time to process the experience and research I’m doing for this month.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 15

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12-24-2019 Tonight as I mediated this energy, I was reminded how important it is to observe and be aware of my passions, without letting them take over. Saturn’s appropriate for that because of the boundaries and limitations. Here is where power is given away for form, where potential turns into reality.

12-26-2019 I’m finding myself experiencing a curious sense of stillness and quiet…a healthy sense of it and an awareness of the value of turning inward and focusing on rest and rejuvenation. At the same time I find myself focusing even further on the essential and what really matters. Sometimes we must necessarily get rid of the clamor of the world to discover what really matters.