I’m currently re-reading The Way We Think, which explores conceptual blending and how we are able visualize and do other amazing things with our mind that are much harder to replicate with computers. The reason is that a while a computer can do rational analysis, what it can’t easily do is imagine. The power of the imagination allows us to experience the world from a multitude of perspectives and find novel solutions to problems that fall outside of rational analysis.
6-24-2018 I’ve started working with the Archangel Gabriel and the energy of Yesod/Moon for this month. Appropriately enough I think I’ve already set myself up for the work and not in a wonderful way. There are times I really I think all I’m good at doing is fucking up. This is one of those times. I made an impulsive decision (I’m good at those) instead of slowing down. I always learn after the fact, but when the damage is done, what good is the learning?
6-25-2018 Continued work with Gabriel today and I’m very much feeling the influence of the West and water, as well as a sense of tidal pulsing back and forth. Life comes and goes. The tides pull and push. Life continues.
5-24-2019 Yesterday I started on the next phase of my work with the sphere of art. This is work I’m developing on my own, independent of what R.J. Stewart has already shared. This month I’m working with the archangel Sandalaphon and the planetary/underworld energy of the Earth. I’ve decided that this will help me build up the correspondences further as well as refine the sphere of art further, in terms of how it can be worked with.
5-26-2019 When I do my meditations with Sandalaphon, I’m using the elevated alchemical materials for Carbon, which represents Earth/underworld. I’m actually thinking of Malkuth as the gateway to the underworld, which might seem odd, until you consider that is where the seeds, minerals, etc are buried, where life begins and in one sense the underworld is as much a part of that process as anything else.
4-23-2019 I’ve been starting to do some work with the sphere of art around going deeper into my creativity, and into exploring how I can use such a state to inspire my creativity. I’ve also been exploring what it’ll take to be successful as a writer, mapping out what my routine ought to look like as well as what to attend to business wise. The true success of any creative is the choice is to be a business owner as well as a creative.
4-27-2019 One of the decisions I’ve made around my writing is that once a year i’m going to re-read the books on book marketing and sales. Being a successful writer isn’t just writing, but learning all the skills around it and what I’ve noticed is that reading and implementing what’s in those books has helped me improve my book marketing skills. So this time around I’ve made a couple of changes and I’m glad I have, because I think it’ll make a significant difference in what I’m doing and how I’m reaching out to people.
3-24-2019 I had a realization today about my passive aggressive behavior. When I am passive aggressive its because I’m in a situation where I don’t feel like I’m in control. The passive aggression is a way to try and get that control back or undermine it for the other person. When I trace this behavior to its origins, I find it goes back to my childhood because I wasn’t allowed to express my feelings of anger or anything else along those lines without getting punished.
Having this realization is helping me look at situations where I don’t feel like I have control and helping me see how that behavior is coming out. And its helping me realize I do have a choice. I can choose how I express my feelings. I can choose to be passive aggressive or I can choose to be direct, even in situations where I may not feel I have control.
2-22-2019 I finished reading The Courage to be Disliked Today. I found it really insightful because it talked about work and about the intrinsic reward of contributing to your community, regardless of whether you are recognized or not. What the authors shared resonates with me deeply, because as I’ve continued to shift away from seeking recognition to doing the work, I’ve felt a deeper connection to my community and a deeper satisfaction about the work I am doing with that community. Doing the work and being in the moment is what matters. Anything else is a distraction. Realizing that has helped me shift my awareness around creativity, my work, and my sense of self-worth in a positive direction.
2-23-2019 Even if with all the work I’ve done around recognition and realizing that being recognized isn’t necessarily as good for me as I’d have thought at one time, there are still moments where it hits me hard that I’m in the background now. When I see a local event happen, with presenters, and no one’s asked me to present, it hits hard. I felt that way today and at one time it would’ve hit much harder, but for the moment I just feel a sense of loss because I realize I’m not being asked to present, and I likely won’t ever be again. Yet I am finding my way around that. I am connecting to my community, having dialogue with the people that need my work and contributing something. Have I really lost anything if I can continue to contribute and make a difference? I think the answer is I haven’t. Yes, may never present at conferences again because I chose to speak up about problems I saw, but I am still connecting with my community, still writing, still making videos, still doing something. That won’t ever stop. So I acknowledge this desire to be recognized and I let it go. I don’t have to be out there. I simply need to do my work and let it speak and find the people that need it.
1-22-2019 Last night I started working with the Affinities. This work felt like I was supercharging myself and the elevations and adding further correspondences that would help me go deeper if I’m doing work with the Tree of Life or even as a way of drawing on those specific resources for ritual work. In a very real sense it feels like what I’m creating are batteries I can draw on when needed, but also guides that can help me take my spiritual work further.
1-24-2019 I’ve been continuing to work with the affinities and what I notice is that they do seem to supercharge the elevation even further while also creating a resonance effect within me, tuning the internal elevation further. I’m not sure what the end process will be but I do feel a stronger connection to the Archangels as well as to the elements, cosmos and underworld, so I’m willing to keep working at it and seeing where it takes me.
I’ve been reading The Courage to be Disliked and one of the ways this book has been helping me involves how I look at creativity and jealousy. When I look at my own experience as a writer and magician I can point to moments where I have felt jealous and have reacted to that feeling in ways which really hasn’t helped my spiritual practice or my writing. But jealousy is all too easy to feel and respond to.
2018, for me, has been this huge process of coming face to face with the things in my life that serve to destabilize my work, productivity and overall life quality. And since I switched over to creativity as my element to work with that too has brought me face to face the issues that have haunted me.
10-22-2018 Today I transitioned over to the element of Creativity. this year I am changing how I work with elemental energy completely, by using the Sphere of Art as the elemental invocation and balancing force. And I am working with archangel Metatron in particular, but in tonight’s working I was reminded that I am really working with all of them. I did the Sphere of Art full invocation and then I meditated and in the meditation I was taken deep and experienced all 7 of the archangels as 1, which makes sense because they are ultimately reflections and embodiments of each other. They told me I would be building off everything I had learned this last year and this work would play an integral role in manifesting my path forward.
I’ll admit I found it appropriate that the final book cover, for Manifesting Wealth, came in today. It was a further confirmation from the archangels. I feel primed and ready to explore creativity and my relationship with it this year.