love magic

A broad approach to love magic

I think its best to take a broad approach to love magic. What I mean is, its better to do love magic that isn't focused on getting a specific person, but instead is focused on drawing the right people to your life. And its important to remember that any love magic also needs to focus on self-love. Looking to someone else to fill something in for you won't work. If anything the person you bring into your life into emphasizes the issues you need to work on. That person has their own issues and you will embody those issues, even as that person embodies your issues. Thus the person you bring into your life necessarily will be someone who challenges you in some ways as much as s/he also brings joy and happiness. People have this idea about love, prompted by the concept of falling in love, that its always something wonderful, but while falling in love is a wonderful experience, being in love is necessarily an experience where you truly face your own issues as well as the issues of the other person. The challenge is how you face those issues and evolve past them so that you can truly be with someone, and also so you can truly be with yourself. People go into a relationship hoping their partner will somehow fill in the gaps, somehow solve everything. Little do they realize that your partner isn't a cure-all and if anything s/he will exacerbate the issues because s/he is a mirror that shows you both the wonderful qualities and unpleasant aspects of yourself. Of course you do the same for that person.

Kat and I have, since February, been reading books on relationships and love together. These are typically the books people will turn to when their relationship is in trouble and they are grasping for anything that will save the relationship. I got these books when I was in my previous marriage for that very reason. This time we took a different approach. We decided that we wanted to read these books and talk about the issues that came up as a proactive activity, as something we'd do in order to build a dialogue around love, and allow us to learn more about each other and where we were respectively coming from. And thus far the journey has been very illuminating for both of us. The discussions that have arisen out of what we've read have helped us both look at our respective issues and understand how they contribute to the relationship, as well as what we can do to change those issues.

What I've learned about love magic is that it rarely brings what you think you want, but it always brings what you need. The question is: Are you prepared to accept what you need? For me that preparation has involved doing a lot of internal work, owning my baggage (and letting it go), as well as coming face to face with my desires and understanding where they fit into the entire mix. And I'm still doing this work! It's nothing something where you just get finished, but I can say that taking a proactive approach can make for a much smoother relationship, with both yourself and your partner.

Here's a few books I'd suggest complete with affiliate links

The Passionate Marriage

Undefended Love

Journey of the Heart

Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships

Love and Awakening

Book Review: Brain Magick (Affiliate Link) by Phil Farber

In Brain Magick, Phil Farber presents a thorough approach to invocation that is a combination of neuroscience and NLP, and is by far one of the best cutting edge books on magic that's available. The author includes lots of exercises the reader can do to test his concepts, and at the same time makes all of his explanations easy to follow. Farber shows you how to bring some woohoo into your life!

What love magic won't do

I'm re-reading The Passionate Marriage (Affiliate link) by David Schnarch. It's an excellent book for any type of romantic relationship and my re-reading of it has already allowed me to recognize nuances that I'd missed the first time around. And perhaps most telling for me is something which I think applies to any area of life, whether its love, finances, work, etc. Namely you've got to work at a relationship to make it work. When I think about love magic, I think of the stereotype of the rejected lover who decides to do love magic as a way of getting his/her ex back. And sometimes it works, but in a disastrous manner where the effected person doesn't so much love the person as s/he is obsessed with the person. Kind of like the guy in the movie The Craft (Affiliate link). He can't stop thinking about the girl who cast the spell on him, even after she's no longer interested in him. And what love magic can't do is it can't really make someone love someone else. It can, when done right, put you into circumstances where you meet your next lover, but its still up to you in the end.

And there's something to be said for actually loving yourself, as cliched as that may sound. It is hard for other people to love a person that doesn't feel some degree of self-respect and love. It quickly becomes apparent if the person doesn't feel that way about him/herself.

Love magic won't make a person love you, or make you love yourself. That work is on you. At best love magic can increase the possibilities that you'll meet a person that fits your circumstances. Or it may help you come to a better understanding of your own issues with love, if you direct it toward yourself. Love magic isn't the cure for the missing date at Valentine's Day.

Love takes work. It's a beautiful feeling to experience, but once you get down to it, its more than just a feeling and really experiencing it involves learning a lot more about how you communicate with others and yourself about your needs, while also learning to listen to their needs. Remember that before doing any love magic, be ready to fully handle the results that come your way!

Book Review: The Nine Doors of Midgard (Affiliate link) by Edred

This is a curriculum of rune work that teaches people about runes from a variety of angles including rune yoga, chanting, and pathworking. However, it's also much more than that. It's a program that's designed to teach you how to fully integrate the runes into your life so that you can use meaningfully. It's a book I would recommend to anyone who wants to learn runes, but I would also recommend getting the recommended reading that the author points readers to. This isn't a book for a beginner or a book just to be read. It is a book that opens doors to new experiences and it is on you to actually go an experience what it offers.

5 out of 5