Memory and Retroactive Magic

Lately I've been doing some work some new space/time magic entities. One of the ones I'm working with, which I'll discuss in more depth in another post is the Goetic Daimon Glasolya-Labolas. One of the topics we've focused on is memory and retroactive magic. The concept of retroactive magic is that you do a magical act that effects a past event in such a way that it changes the present and the possibilities you have access to in the present. I also think of retroactive magic as doing magic in the present to effect a past event. To illustrate both concepts, let me share two examples from my own practice. My first example involves doing magical work to change a present behavior by going into past memories and changing the behavior in those past memories. I have found that if you want to change a behavior in the present, it becomes much easier when you change it in the past. What I do is do a pathworking exercise where I revisit specific memories and re-live those memories, but change the actions and behavior I did in those memories to ones I find to be more desirable. This consequently enables me to change the behavior in the present, because I've built a past where the desired behavior was already being performed.

The second example involved doing a magical work with a group that was in the U.K. I did the working several days after the group did their working (but before they reported in) and sent my magical working back in time so that even though I was doing the working in the present it was contributing to the working in the past. When I checked in with the group from the U.K. they reported strongly feeling my presence on the day they did their ritual, which indicated to me that my present working had effectively reached back to the past.

I've used retroactive magic to also discover possibilities in my present that I initially didn't were available due to past choices. When I felt that way, I'd do a ritual working to change the past choice, or at least change the outcome of that past choice and then I would discover new possibilities that were more favorable to me.

In my meditations with Glasolya-Labolas, he has suggested that time is not fixed and that memories aren't set, but only seem to be set because of the linear perspective we apply to time. If we were to instead consider that time isn't fixed and that within a given memory there are also other possible experiences, we could access those experiences and work with them to change the experience of the present we are in. It's an intriguing idea to experiment with, and although I feel I've done that to some degree via retroactive magic, I'm going to work more closely with Glasolya-Labolas to explore what his approach is and how it might fit or challenge my own understanding of retroactive magic and memory work.

Pop Culture Magic and Video

I've just finished reading Textual Poachers: Television Fans and Participatory Culture by Henry Jenkins (See Review Below). In one of the last chapters he discusses early Fan video creations (bear in mind this book was written in 1992). What I find fascinating about that chapter is 2 things. First that long before youtube came along people were creating video parodies and stories about the characters they enjoy, which just shows that while contemporary technology is helpful for creating such videos, it isn't absolutely necessary. People were making videos before we had social media. That said, social media and better video technology has definitely played a role in the proliferation of videos.

The second thing I find fascinating is the magical angle, because to my mind there's always a magical angle. I've made a few videos (not all that good) and I'm planning on getting better video technology in the nearish future to make more. What's stood out to me about videos though is that with right editing software, you can not just shoot a video but add in some other effects, such as sigils, sounds, random pictures etc, and through that process create an experience for the viewer that can be helpful for your own magical purposes. After all, if the person is watching they are providing you their attention, which brings with it some energy of intention on their part, which can feed into your own.

In the case of the chapter, the fans creating the videos were really creating their own narrative stories with beloved characters and as a result contributing to the pop culture reality of those characters, which consequently I think can also be useful for connecting with a given pop culture entity. When people interact with various characters they are giving those characters more attention, more life via the interaction. Video creations provide fans a way to interact with the pop culture they like and tell stories, weave new realities for those characters. Apply that on a magical level and what you get is deeper interactions with the characters, which can then be applied toward magical workings with those same characters. The videos can be the magical workings as well, with everything set up so that the magical working is done, and then when viewed the ritual is charged and re-done because of the audience participation in watching the video. For example, think of a music concert. When you go to the concert you are caught up in the feelings and experiences of that concert. If you were to watch the concert as a video you'd experience a similar feeling of participation and intention. This can also be applied to videos that are made, with the understanding that the goal is to get some type of emotional response from the people viewing the video in order to continually charge and fire the magical working done in the video. Antero Alli's films are good examples of that principle in action, but I think it could also be done with pop culture, and that if you look at the various fan films that are available on youtube, you'll see the potential. When people are willing to dress up as characters and create their own stories, what they are doing is creating not just a story, but a magical working in its own way, that if understood from that perspective can be helpful for pop culture magical workings.

Speaking of Pop Culture Magic, check out my latest post on Pagan Square where I discuss the esoteric secrets of fantasy.

Book Review: Textual Poachers: Television Fans and Participatory Culture by Henry Jenkins

This book is a must read for anyone interested in pop culture studies or anyone who is a fan and wants to understand the history of fan movements. The author does an excellent job of showing how different fandoms found empowerment in their communities and in their own fan creations based off the pop culture they liked. While this book was originally written in 1992, it's still relevant to contemporary pop culture studies and if anything provides a fascinating historical perspective that allows the reader to understand contemporary fan movements and use of technology better through the context of reading the book. What I liked the most is that the author explored a number of types of fandoms (SF but also romance) and fan activities such as slash, filking, and video making. By doing this he provides a holistic perspective on fan activities that can help the reader better understand fandom and how it shows up in culture.

You are your best teacher

I was reading a post by Josephine McCarthy about meeting teachers and walking the path of magic. She makes some interesting points about being open to magic and meeting teachers, but what I get from that post is this: You are your best teacher.  And the reasoning for that statement is simply this: No matter who you meet or where you are or what you do, you ultimately have to decide if you are open to learning, and once that's decided then you need to not only learn, but actually implement what you've learned. McCarthy points out that:

If a person truly wants to evolve within magic and penetrate even a small fragment of her mysteries then the organisations and safe boundaries need to be cast off, and the magician must forge their path of magic while wandering through the forest of life. There are no short cuts, there is no ‘destination’, magic is constantly all around you: the key is to pay attention.

There's a lot of truth to that statement. Just about any magical organization I've run into seems to, on some level, sanitize the experience of magic, confine it, make it safe, make it something which is regulated. But the experience of magic isn't meant to be regulated. What I've found with the organizations I've encountered is a dulling of the mind and spirit, a loss of creativity because the focus ends up being on the social dynamics of the organization instead of on working with magic. I'd rather focus on the magic.

You are your best teacher because while anyone can teach you something, you can only really learn if you apply and implement it. This is why in my books, and the courses I teach I tell people that they need to make what they learn their own. My books, my courses can teach you something, but unless you apply it and make it your own, what you'll learn is limited. True learning occurs when you make it your own, when you do the work, and you make it a part of your life, to the point that it becomes something you've personalized and come to understand in your own unique way.

With all that said, be open to learning from other people, books, etc. Go out and have some experiences, take some risks, live life. Magic is part of all of that and I think you find magic when you look for it and make it the central part of your life, when you are open to that moment where you meet a stranger and share something unexpected with that person that changes the way both of you experience the world, or wen you read a book and it blows your mind and gets you to think in different ways than you'd ever thought before.

My latest guest post on Pagan Square explores how to work with bacteria from a non-anthropocentric approach.

Book Review: The Necessity of Strangers By Alan Gregerman

In this book, the author argues that strangers are an essential part of innovation and that to truly cultivate creativity and innovation we need to be open to new ideas, meeting strangers and learning from different cultures and disciplines outside of our own culture or discipline. The author illustrates this point through a variety of case studies in both business and everyday life to demonstrate how contact with strangers can be helpful for sparking innovation. While the case studies are interesting the author doesn't really explain how to implement these ideas. This is a good book to read to inspire you to be open to learning from other people, but while the author provides a couple of ideas on how to do that, for the most part what he discusses is shared as ideas as opposed to really examining how to implement these ideas meaningfully.  Still I recommend reading this book to challenge yourself to be more open to new ideas.

Anthropocentrism and Magic

 

I came across this article from Alison Lilly the other day about anthropocentrism in Paganism and Polytheism. You can find another article here where she defines Anthropocentrism in more detail. My brief definition of anthropocentrism is that it's a humancentric perspective of the world that considers experiences of consciousness in primarily human terms and applies human behavior, attributes, emotions, etc. to things that aren't human in an effort to simultaneously categorize and control what is labeled. The problem with such a perspective is that its extremely limited and presupposes that humanity and its perspective is what matters.

In my own spiritual work, one of the things I've tried to do is recognize when I'm applying anthropocentric perspectives, behaviors etc to connections I make with spiritual entities, the world around me, and anything that isn't human. The reason I seek to recognize this application of perspective is because I recognize that it is a filter that stops me from genuinely connecting with whatever it is I'm connecting with. For example, when I was doing my year long work with the element of fire, one of the realizations which came up was how mediated the experience of fire is by anthropocentric perspectives. We label fire with human attributes and emotions such as anger, passion, and creativity. This provides humans a way to understand relate to fire from a human centric perspective, but it doesn't allow you to experience fire in other ways. When I stripped away the labels, attributes and emotions associated with fire, what I experienced was something much more primal and raw, something that had more to with fire as its own force as opposed to something mediated and interpreted by human perspective. I recognized even then that to some degree I was still applying a human perspective to the experience, but as much as possible I was also being open to experiencing fire on its level.

I make the point that I was still applying human perspective because I don't think we, as humans, ever fully get away from that human perspective. This doesn't mean we shouldn't try to experience other forms of consciousness, but rather that we should acknowledge that on some level, at all times, we are interpreting a given situation through the lens of being human. With that said, by being aware of that lens, we can also open ourselves up to a given experience where we seek connection with something that isn't human and recognize when we are labeling interactions through the being human lens and put it aside to focus on the interaction. Let me share a very recent experience.

I'm currently working with the bacteria in my stomach. In my opinion, bacteria is pretty far removed from being human, but the probiotic bacteria we have in our bellies play an integral role in the digestion of our food and I want to work more closely with them via magic. In my meditations and my daily awareness I've been focusing on connecting with the bacteria. Instead of trying to label the bacteria through human terms, what I've done instead is used the feeling of digestion to make contact with the bacteria. This provides me a chance to engage them on their terms, through an activity they are doing. The experience of their consciously isn't remotely human and the communication that occurs is based more on feeling than on words or visualizations. And even with all that, I recognize I could still be applying human perspectives to the experience, but what I'm not doing is assuming a human consciousness on the other end, or human values, or human communication or anything else, because such an assumption takes away from the experience and the ability to genuinely connect with the bacteria.

I think the same applies to any kind of contact you make with something that isn't human. Even if that consciousness approaches you on human terms, using human communication, it shouldn't be assumed that it holds human values, culture, etc. It might, or it could be that its trying to meet us on our terms because its easier to communicate that way or because it wants to experience our consciousness. I figure even if an entity I'm interacting with has two arms, two legs, a a head, and a somewhat human shape, even that doesn't mean it has the same consciousness needs, etc. That can only be discovered, never assumed and when we apply anthropocentrism to such interactions we make assumptions which can be dangerous, and if nothing else are faulty by virtue of our own limited perspective.

Why I write about creativity and innovation so much

I'm reading Cursor's Fury right now, which is part of the Codex Alera series by Jim Butcher. The one character Tavi is different from everyone else because he can't seem to work with the furies (spirits) that everyone else works with. However this particular disability forces him to become creative in how he handles situations. He doesn't stick with conventional wisdom because conventional wisdom doesn't really work for him. And as time goes on, it becomes apparent that conventional wisdom, while useful in its own way, also ends up holding a lot of change and innovation back.

I've never really been a fan of conventional wisdom of any sort. I think it has something to offer and should on occasion be heeded, but I also think there's something to be said for just doing something to see what will happen and to learn from the experience. I've been talking about innovation and creativity a lot on this blog lately, partially because of what I'm reading, but also because its so much of what drives my approach to magic. I write about it a lot because there's so much out there arguing the opposite that I feel its essential to call out the necessity of innovation and creativity in spiritual practices.

It must seem odd in a way to associate innovation with spiritual practices, but if we consider that everything can evolve over time it starts to make sense. And magic isn't just a spiritual practice. It's also a practical discipline which people apply to their lives in order to create favorable circumstances and opportunities. And for that reason alone creativity and innovation is needed, because we want to keep our practices relevant with the demands and problems of the times. But I also find that creativity and innovation are part of the spiritual dimension, providing us a way to get out of our heads and get into the presence of whatever spirits we work with. And sometimes it can even help us examine the spirits from other perspectives we might not otherwise consider, and in the process stop applying our own limitations to those same beings.

Conventional wisdom and conventional answers aren't always the best solution. Sometimes you have to do things the hard way because what it does is push you to be innovative and find unconventional solutions. I'll admit that I prefer to do things the hard way or to phrase it differently, I prefer to develop my own solutions because as much as I recognize that what others have done before provides its own wisdom, I also realize that depending on my own experience and my willingness to take risks provides more satisfaction. I recognize that may not be the case for everyone, and as a result not everyone will want to do things the hard way. There's value in that too, up to the point that you deal with a situation where the conventional answers, the tried and true ways of doing things doesn't work and then you need to get creative.

How do you get creative with your magical work? How does it inform your practice and how you approach situations where you employ magic?

In other news Bill Whitcomb and I were interviewed by Mindful Cyborgs about the Book of Good Practices.

The Magic of your Appearance

When I was growing up, I used to believe that a person's appearance, that what s/he wore didn't matter. I had bought into this counter cultural belief that appearance didn't matter and wasn't genuine (which is ironic because every counter culture I know of has a specific image and appearance that is important and indicative of whether you belong or don't belong). My perspective on this has changed quite a bit, especially once I became self-employed. I find that appearance is important and that how you dress can help make an initial impression that is important in its own right. Your appearance has its own magic, in a sense, and I think it can be quite useful to work with that on a magical level.

The clothes you wear, while not inherently possessing magic, nonetheless do possess something else: The perceptions of other people as they look at those clothes on you. What is the image you convey, the impression that you make, the presence you embody? It is, of course, your presence, but it is a presence mediated by others as well. Tap into that mediation and what you tap into is how to turn the perceptions of others into a glamour all its own. And you know, we do it all the time. The goth wears black clothing to present a specific presence, with different ideas associated with it. To other goths, the clothes indicate belonging, and to yet other people, they indicate that the person is a goth. That's one example, but I'm sure you can think of others that apply.

When I put on a suit, I often think that what I'm really putting on is a magical garb of some sort. The suit becomes ritual garb for business meetings. It's expected at those meetings, and without it I wouldn't necessarily fit in or at least not be as accepted. Yes we can argue that its superficial to judge a person based on the clothes s/he wears, but if that's so why then does clothing matter so much? Why put all the effort into finding the right clothing for the right occasion? No one I know doesn't prepare on some level for an outing without putting attention into the appearance, what s/he will wear, and how it will appear to other people. When I put on a suit, I think about what it is supposed to convey. A suit conveys reputation, authority, as well as belonging in certain settings (and not belonging in other settings).

When you put any clothing on, take a moment to really settle into the presence of that clothing, into the message you are sending? What is your appearance trying to convey? What impressions do you want people to get? How will those impressions help you? Do the color choices of the clothing help you in your appearance or do they create some cognitive disconnect? When you wear your clothes step into them and make them part of your identity, part of what you are presenting to the world. Your appearance isn't you, but it is you...it is what you present to others, and it can be a gateway all its own.

Appearance matters. We can tell ourselves it doesn't and that its superficial to think it does matter, but when we tell ourselves such a message we are being hypocrites. After all, every time you put some thought into what you wear, you care about your appearance...it matters. I say let it matter, and step into it and make it part of your magical part, part of your work with your identity. Be present with yourself in the clothing you wear and let yourself be open to how that in and of itself speaks for you. There's magic to explore there if you are willing to be open to it.

Pop Culture Identity ideas

I've recently picked up some books on pop culture studies, to supplement the existing ones I had, and to help me with the research aspect of Pop Culture Magic 2.0. While I've written the first chapter of the book, I've felt the need to temporarily focus more on research and experimentation, and this has proven to be a wise idea. One of the books I'm reading is Textual Poachers by Henry Jenkins. I wish I'd read it back when I was writing Pop Culture Magick, because it would've supported a lot of the arguments I made about pop culture, but better later than never. What's most fascinating about the book thus far, is the focus on how fans have made their own interpretations of pop culture, and in a sense created their own identities around pop culture.

Textual Poachers was written over twenty years ago, but I see the same trends in pop culture now, and if anything they are much more significant. Cosplay, for example, speaks to how fans become characters they like, and in turn have their own identities shaped by that interaction. I've written about this topic in Multi-Media Magic, but what fascinates about it now, even more than before, is how identity pops up as an element of pop culture. I feel that the evolution of pop culture magic involves the integration of identity as an essential part of making pop culture a viable medium of magic.

When I examine pop culture now, as opposed to ten years ago, what stands out is how much pop culture seems to involve integrating the people into it. Cosplay is one example, but video games are another, and social media is yet another. There's this creation of multiple identities all linked together, sharing the identity of a person, but also changing that identity via the mediums being utilized. My own experiments with different forms of media as part of the formation of identity has shown me how much those mediums can help you experiment with your identity and map new behaviors and habits onto it as a result of describing the role those behavior/s habits have on you. It indicates to me just how much the identity of a person goes beyond a person's physical expression of that identity (i.e. body) and shows up in the person's life through their art, pictures, textual interactions. At the same time, I think the body is being integrated even more into explorations of identity and pop culture certainly plays a role in that exploration.

I feel that an evolution of pop culture magic will more than ever necessitate the participation of the magician in pop culture, not merely as a replicator of a given pop culture, but a creator of pop culture content that also is an expression of his/her identity and magical work (whether overtly or subtly). The magician mediates pop culture, becomes pop culture, is an expression of pop culture, and brings all of that back into his/her own sense of identity. There's a cycle there and it's one I'm hoping to explore more thoroughly as I continue to research, experiment, and write the book.

Book Review: Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces that shape our Decisions by Dan Ariely

In this book, Dan Ariely shares the irrational aspects of our behavior and shows just how much sway and influence those aspects have in our decision making processes. We are far from being rational and logical about our choices, but fool ourselves into believing we're rational (which is irrational in and of itself). Through a variety of case studies, Ariely demonstrates how irrational we are, as well as showing how different environmental influences effect us. He explores the relationship we have with social and business behaviors, money, as well as stealing, dishonesty, and a variety of other behaviors that are all part of our irrational makeup. This is a must read book if you want to understand your own decision making process better and if you are fascinated with human behavior.

Why Practice informs the development of Theory

In my most recent article on Pagan Square, I discussed part 2 of the literacy of magic. I also gotten into an interesting discussion with a commenter. He argued that it was possible for a person to be a theorist in magic without actually practicing it. My response in kind was:

And I disagree with the notion that you can be an armchair theorist and know magic. You may know of magic, but that's different from actually knowing it. To know it is to practice it, to make it a meaningful part of your life, as opposed to just an intellectual understanding.

Having met all too many armchair magicians in my life, I can safely say they weren't even theorists, because all they could really talk about was what someone else had done. To be a theorist involves practicing magic because you necessarily need to have experience working magic before you can develop theories of your own on how magic works. Theorizing without practice isn't theory...it's speculation by a person too afraid to commit to the necessary rigors that any practice brings to any discipline.

Practice is an integral part of theory for the reason I explained above. Without practice, you cannot know magic, and you can't effectively develop a theory either. Any theory is defined by the practice and work that has gone into the theory. A theory is based off practices that are done again and again to obtain the same results. When we "theorize" without practice, then we are speculating. We don't know one way or another if our "theory" is correct or incorrect.

Practice brings with it a necessary rigor that allows the practitioner to challenge his/her own preconceived notions. that function, more than anything else, is why consistent practice is important. When we consistently practice magic, what we are are really doing is consistently applying ourselves to doing the necessary work that comes with any discipline, and consequently developing theories that are informed by the work we do.

I feel compelled to write about this this topic because what I see occur sometimes is a muddying of the distinction between theory and speculation. Anyone can speculate and many do to their hearts' content, but speculation doesn't make you an expert or prove that you know what you're talking about. It just proves you're good at bullshitting about magic. But I want more than that from someone who wants to talk magic. I want someone who can point to their own experiences and explain how those experiences informs their awareness of what magic is or how it works. Then I know the person knows magic, as opposed to knowing of magic (and even that can be argued). As I mentioned above, what I've encountered with armchair magicians is not a comprehensive knowledge of magic, but a lot of pontification, speculation and knowledge of a given occultist (usually Crowley) . It doesn't impress me. They don't know magic, no matter how much they might believe otherwise. Knowing magic demands much more...it demands practice and a willingness to put yourself out there and test what you can do. Not everyone can or will step up, but you'll always know who the real practitioners are , because what they'll speak of demonstrates how they've applied magic to their lives.

Book Review: Make Magic of Your Life by T. Thorn Coyle

This book is a useful guide for doing internal work and connecting with what you desire. The author provides exercises to help the reader work on him/herself, as well illustrating concepts with anecdotes. If you are someone who feels like you're out of touch with life or unhappy with the direction your life is going, pick this book up and do the exercises. You will certainly obtain clarity as a result and be better able to manifest what you truly want because you'll have worked out the internal tensions stopping you from being successful. The author will challenge you to be authentic with yourself and will help you take the steps to reach that goal.

Two Space/Time Magic Paintings

I've been meditating on several symbols I was given during a recent workshop I did with R. J. Stewart and Annastacia Nutt. I found that these symbols are very relevant for my spiritual work, especially with space/time magic and I was told recently that I needed to paint them. Below is the first one:

This one is called cross roads, and represents the intersection of the cross roads. As I meditated on the image of the cross roads as it related to space/time magic, it became very clear how much the crossroads can play a role in choosing to manifest a distinct possibility as a reality. The next painting is below:

This painting is the Sphere of art, representing the the three zeros as they interact to create a precise point of space/time which is removed from the rest. This is something I've been working with since I first started reading William Gray's work. R. J. was an actual student of Gray and has taken the concept and extended it further in his own way and I've found it to be very helpful in my work.

What Defines Advanced Magic?

Recently I finished reading Advanced Magical Arts by R. J. Stewart (see below for the review) and one of the questions I ended up asking is what defines advanced magic? As I read the book, what I took away from it wasn't necessarily what I'd consider to be advanced magic, but I recognized that the context of the material, i.e. how it would be used and who would use it would necessarily inform the perception of it being advanced magic. In other words, because the material is part of a specific magical tradition, for people in that tradition it would be considered advanced magic. However, out of that context the material wouldn't necessarily be advanced magic, and this made me consider that advanced magic is something which can be hard to define, because what one person considers advanced magic another person won't.

I posted an article on the literacy of magic, which I feel illustrates this issue, because a given literacy of magic is similarly hard to define, especially when you consider that different people from different traditions have varying ideas about how important magic is or isn't to their spiritual practices. So where then lies advanced magic and what makes advanced magic advanced? I think that part of what makes a given magical practice advanced has more to do with the practitioner than the techniques. What amount of time and practice has the person put into magic? How has that practice shaped him/her and his/her experience of the world?

Magic is a personal experience as much as its a spiritual force to be worked with, and I think that advanced magic is similar really. All the books, tools, artifacts etc., are not in and of themselves advanced magic. They just serve to provide insight on magic, but ultimately you are needed to experience whatever advanced magic is. You are the ultimate component and your work with magic is what makes it significant to your life. You could read my books, R.J.'s or any other author's book and what you'll see are collections of techniques and practices, but what makes any of it come to life is you, more so than anything else. It's good to remember that, because then you recognize the ultimate authority in your spiritual isn't some author or tool or deity. The ultimate authority is you and what you do with magic speaks more to its significance and the advancement of your spiritual path than any words I or anyone else could offer. At best, whatever influences your practice hopefully inspires you to continue developing your spiritual practice, but you will know you are an advanced magician when you can take hat you've learned and make it your own, while also developing your own practices.

Book Review: Advanced Magical Arts by R. J. Stewart

In this book the author shares a number of rituals and walks the reader through the mechanics of each ritual, as well as explaining the underlying process that informs the ritual. These rituals are specific to the magical tradition the author is part of, so what makes this an advanced book on magic has more to do with the tradition itself, and how the rituals in this book contribute to a person progressing through that tradition. Beyond that particular facet, the book doesn't necessarily lead to a more advanced understanding of magic in general. A lot of what the author shares can be applied across tradition, in terms of the mechanics, but you'll find similar instructions in those traditions. With that said this is a good book to have in your magical library if you are interested in western esotericism and in particular with utilizing magic for spiritual work.

Why DIY and Tradition ground each other in magical work

Jason Miller recently wrote a post arguing that DIY magic is overrated. He makes a good point about DIY Magic and how it can be overemphasized to the point that a person ignores tradition. In my own experience, you can't effectively experiment with magic or DIY it (if you prefer) until you've grounded yourself in the traditions/foundations of magical work. While I'm a big proponent of experimentation and personalizing magic I agree with Jason that you need to know what's come before in order to understand what you can do with what you've got.

My own magical practice is grounded in tradition, in so much as I've studied various works of authors and replicated their practices before experimenting with them. I am, unlike Jason, not part of any formal occult lodge or order, so in that sense I've never belonged to a spiritual tradition (nor felt called to), but I've always believed that understanding magic involves learning from the people who came before me, and that in order to effectively experiment its essential to ground yourself in the theory and practice provided by others. The choice to ground yourself in the work of others doesn't mean you unconditionally accept everything they've written or done, but rather that you try it and learn it before you experiment.

At the same time, I think that experimentation is essential for advancing tradition. It can be all too easy to get caught up in tradition and mired down by what others have done, but when you do so, you lose an essential part of magic which is found in the creative experimentation with it. DIY is one approach to experimentation and what it provides us is a way to create our own tools for magic, to personalize what we do, based on the intimate recognition that knowing magic can ultimately be a very personal act. now such DIY can't effectively happen without being grounded in tradition. For example, while I paint my evocation circles and sigils, which are a DIY tool, before I even do that I make initial contact with the spirit and get its insights on the process because I understand it to be an essential part of the magical work I'm doing.

What tradition really provides is context for DIY to occur in. In other words, just going and experimenting without really having a foundation in traditional approaches to magic isn't going to work very well, for the simple reason that you can't even call what you are doing experimentation. You don't know enough to experiment without having a foundational knowledge in magic that provides you enough context to question it and examine how you could improve on what you know. That's what tradition provides...the experiences and knowledge to allow you to question what you know and change it.

What DIY does for tradition is show how the tradition can evolve and change. What tradition does is ground DIY by providing perspectives of what came before. Both are needed in magic, and neither is necessarily better than the other. A magician who knows what s/he is doing is able to draw on tradition as well as do DIY magic, and should be able to get consistent results with both.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Movement Month 13: Opening Up

10-23-13 The last couple of days I've been working with the three tree spirits and one of the things I've been doing is just opening up to them so that I can let them in and let myself feel the interaction with them. This is not something which comes easily to me. Despite how open I might seem on this blog, in truth I am a fairly closed and guarded person, who rarely lets people (let alone anything else) in beyond a certain point. Something Kat has been teaching me is how to open up to someone I genuinely trust and love. I've been teaching her the same thing, and its a lesson that takes time to learn. So I've been allowing myself to open up to the trees and connect with them on a deep level. When I work with them, I can feel their presence in my body and that has some interesting sensations on its own which has been helpful for me to experience. I am reminded that as much as I am comfortable in some ways with myself and my body and the experience of feeling, in some ways I am not and I am just now allowing myself to be open to the experiences.

10-25-13 I'm frustrated today. My main computer had an update for windows 8.1 and I updated it and then the wireless no longer worked. So I tried to fix it and ended up creating more of a problem. Fortunately I have a professional who can help (hopefully), but afterwards I decided to meditate and calm myself. I knew I couldn't do anything else about the situation and I also knew that what I really needed to do was simply allow myself to feel the emotion and then let go. I've done what I can, and now I can let go.

10-26-13 One of the ways I've been opening up has involved allowing myself to really acknowledge the level of love that Kat has for me. I have never experienced being so loved until her. Indeed when I look back at previous relationships what I see, both on my part, and on the part of others, is conditional love, but with Kat I've come to recognize it is unconditional love. She loves me for me, as opposed to what I can do for her or what role I can play. It's truly an amazing gift.

10-29-13 I've gotten nothing done in the last few days. When these occasional moods hit me, it's hard because I'm functional enough to take care of clients and do networking for the business coach business, but that ends up being the extent of it. This particular bit of malaise was brought on by the main computer crashing, which I now have back, but regardless of what the cause is, the end result is not much gets done. Inevitably I wind myself back up and get more done, but it hits hard.

10-30-13 Today I got myself motivated enough to do more, to get moving. And I had an interesting meditation on a symbol given to me during the Oak, Ash, and Thorn workshop. As I meditated on the symbol, the symbol itself went away and I experienced this multi-colored space. Every time I tried to go back to the symbol I was told to let go and open myself to the experience, as well as being told not to mistake the symbol for the experience. So I opened myself to the experience and at some point the subject of measurement came up, and how measurement is used to define reality and also to turn possibility into reality. It reminded me of definitions and reality (and isn't a measurement just another type of definition). It makes me realize how much measurements and definitions are used to mediate experiences such as space.

11-1-13 Sometimes it's important to know when to put the brakes on movement. Yes we can allow ourselves to be moved, but at the same time it's important to consider what we're moving toward. From my own experiences, I've allowed myself to get swept up in a feeling and to act on that feeling without considering the consequences. The problem that occurs is that when you allow yourself to be moved without examining what you are moving toward, you can find yourself in a place you didn't plan to be in. Its like being on a boat in a river, where you don't use the oars. you're moving along fine and dandy, but because you are taking the time to direct the movement, you go down a waterfall or sink your boat on the rapids. Yes, we need to let ourselves be moved, but we also need to provide some direction for that movement, in order to recognize how that movement is effecting not just ourselves but the people around us. This isn't always easy to do, but it is always necessary.

11-2-13 In meditation today I worked further with a symbol I'd been given during the Oak, Ash, and Thorn workshop. What's interesting is that as I worked with the symbol, I applied a 3 d perspective to it and it created seven directions as a result, which is something that occurs in the Sphere of Art work, as well as the zeroing work that William G. Gray did. It also occurs in the quablistic sigil of the cube of space. It's fascinating to see the parallels. I'm going to start working with the other symbols in tandem to see what I discover.

11-4-13 Sometimes I think I'm a beautiful, toxic, monster. It's an odd belief to have about one's self and it's not something I feel nearly so much as I used to, but on occasion it does come to the surface. In a conversation with Kat last night, and in meditation as well, I acknowledged that I have trouble letting other people take responsibility for their end of things. I'm inclined to take all of the responsibility on myself. It's something I learned early from my step mom and its something which I've seen replicated since in other relationships. I learned early on that I was responsible for everything wrong. If my half-sister did something wrong, I ended up getting blamed. And I took that with me into interactions I have even now. I told Kat that on some level I do recognize that there is shared responsibility, but that emotionally its something I'm still processing. Accepting that other people share responsibility is hard for me, in a sense, because if I accept that it also means I give up some control of the situation. However it's something I'm going to work on because I think it'd be healthy for me to do.

11-5-13 Some further thoughts about other people taking responsibility and how I relate to it. I've always felt that if I let other people take responsibility and validate my feelings that I'm taking away from the validation of their feelings. Again this is a pattern I see going all the way back to my step mom. It's not something which really makes sense, and its actually quite harmful because I'm not really opening up when I don't take the time to acknowledge my own feelings and pain on a given issue. I also realize it doesn't really allow me to connect with someone when I don't share what I'm feeling or allow myself to accept that a person is willing to take responsibility.

11-7-13 Opening up and sharing what you're feeling without trying to blame, without trying to guilt...sharing for acknowledgement and release. Opening up and acknowledging that responsibility can be shared. That's what the last couple of days has been like. I've been doing some dissolving in my meditation and today I ended up meditating about past regrets of people past and allowed myself to stop taking all the responsibility and let some of it go to the other people involved. I think so much of my regret has really been taking on too much responsibility. And I don't know if any of those people I meditated on ever did or didn't own their share of things, but it wasn't really about that. It was about me acknowledging I didn't need to be wholly responsible and that I could allow someone else to share in the responsibility. That feels healthier for me.

11-11-13 Today I tried out movement exercises from Healing with Form, Energy, and Light by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche. When I tried these movements out, what really stuck with me is how present I became with my body and how good that felt to me. It's similar to how I feel after exercising, but also different, because I felt myself go into a different altered state of consciousness that was more meditative and energy oriented. In fact as I did the movements, I could feel my internal energy respond (as I've shared in a separate post) and it felt comfortable to me. I'm going to continue these daily practices because I feel they will help me connect even more meaningfully with movement as an element.

Kat and I also got into some deep conversations this weekend about shared responsibility. It feels good to share responsibility with her and to acknowledge my own need for responsibility to be shared. I was able to say a few things that I'd been holding onto and it made me feel more present with her as a result. And it also made me realize how much of a team we already are, which is something I'd never felt previously with other people. We also meditated on one of the symbols I'd gotten from the workshop and fond that there was a lot of connection to the sphere of Art and William Gray's Omnil/zeroing practice. I'm not really surprised at that, but it goods to see that someone else got a similar result.

11-13-13 I meditated on another symbol today and it provided another layer to what I'd already been meditating on. I ended up actually combining the two symbols, and they did so seamlessly. Memory and imagination provide the context of past and future, and when combined provide the present as well. The vertice of space provides the base reality through which the horizontal probability of time flow, while Imaginary Time provides access to both improbable and probable possibilities that can be used to shape reality. A possibility becomes more improbably the more it is based in memory (past) or imagination (future). It becomes more probable when it can be linked to space (typically closer to the present). However improbable possibilities shouldn't stop a magician (in fact a seemingly improbable possibility can become very probable with the right planning and actions linked to magical work). I feel like what I've received is further refining my system of space/time magic and it's something I look forward to developing in even further detail.

Some further reading of Healing with Form, Energy, and Light unearthed this gem: "Though practice will not remove all the difficulties of a life, it will lead the practitioner to better ways to deal with problems...Most people don't know how to be with a problem and often don't have a good method of working with difficulties. Instead they have the pervasive idea that problems have substantial causes and that the resolution of the problems lie there...Some people think that to accept problems is to support them, that acceptance means not addressing problems, but that is not what I mean. Accepting that there will always be problems means opening to all of life, not only to what is positive, but to everything."

He makes a really good point. There will always be problems and its ok to accept that, to accept them and be present with them. I think, from my own experiences, I've tended toward trying to solve problems, trying to move away from them, but not always really making the effort to be present with them. If internal work has taught me anything its that your problems are part of you and unescapable, but that they don't have to define you. Additionally if you make time to really sit with them, really be present with them what you can uncover is so much more than the "cause." You can uncover a lot by just being present. Learning to sit with your problems can also teach you to really be present with yourself and others effected by those problems. Instead of trying to run toward a solution, toward a place of not having the problem, why not accept it and really explore it? It will likely be uncomfortable, but it will also teach you a lot.

11-16-2013 I'm listening to The Rolling Stones song "Down in the Hole." It's a song I listen to whenever I'm feeling down on myself. It's a great song to listen to when you feel like crap because it just hits those feelings and expresses them (which I think is a good thing). Today I was working on the web and flyer copy for a couple different classes coming up. Writing copy, for me, is hard work because it's really focused on concisely explaining why someone should sign up for a class, but a book etc. I can do it, and I even have a formula for it, but it challenges me as a writer. But that's not why I'm listening to this song.

I'm listening to this song because I'm feeling a bit down on myself today. Call it the movement working or the Dark night of the soul I'm experiencing due to Pluto being in my chart. Call it just letting myself feel those feelings and be open to them, and letting the song express those feelings for me. I think maybe why I'm listening to this song as well is because I'm working my tail off as a self-employed business person and while its a journey getting incrementally better, it's taking a lot of work to get those increments. I'm not complaining, because I know that's true for many people who go out to be self-employed, but listening to this song lets me, for a moment, just be in that hole and allow myself to feel the pain and hurt I sometimes feel. Because sometimes I do feel it...sometimes I just suffer, just like anyone else I suppose. And I don't have a problem admitting I feel this way sometimes. It's a lot less often than it used to be, but sometimes I feel this way, and today is one of those days.

11-20-13 Something I've discovered through experience is that the more secrets you hold onto, the more weighed down you get by all the crap that comes with those secrets. I guess a collective "duh!" might be in order, but I think for most people this isn't nearly the common sense it seems to be. Because the truth is we carry secrets with us all the time and not just the obvious ones either, but also the small secrets, ones that you keep from yourself as well as others. the secret can even be something where instead of being about how you feel, you say you're fine. And it all adds up eventually. I think that the so-called mid-life crisis is an example of secrets adding up to a point where the person just has to do something to get those secrets off him/herself.

For me opening up isn't just about opening up to someone else, but also opening up to me. It's about letting the walls down within myself so that I can know and trust myself better, and consequently extend that to the really important people in my life. It's about letting go of the secrets I've held onto, large and small, and seeing them for what they really are: Not protective defenses that keep me from being hurt, but walls of a prison that keep me from really connecting meaningfully with people in my life. I see that as I continue to open up to Kat, while it may not initially be easy, it does makes the relationship much better because there is openness between us. But first I need to be willing to open up to myself so that I can be truly present with myself, instead of continuing to act out old patterns of behavior. Doing that allows me to be ready to open up to other people.

And how all that relates to movement? Movement is a lot easier when you aren't carrying burdens that hold you back from really being present.

Trench Coat Magic

 

The other day I needed to get a new trench coat. I've had my old one for over ten years, and its well worn, well loved, and even has a hole or two in it. In short its time to retire it. So the other day I went to Burlington coat factory and found a very nice replacement. As soon as I put it on, I felt like I was settling into this warm, comfortable garment that served to not only protect my body from the cold but also, in its own way, became a magical robe of sorts. I've actually felt that way about all of my trench coats.

For me a trench coat is a magical garment. It's a lot like a robe, really. It's got nice long sleeves, and it flows most of the way down your body, plus it wraps around you to cover your entire body. When I'm wearing a trench coat I feel like I'm wrapped not only in the cloth, but also magic itself. Perhaps part of what I like about a trench coat is that it is just a bit formless. When you put it on, you can't tell that much about the person's body or what s/he is concealing underneath the coat. As someone who's grown up with some street smarts, I can tell you that anything which is concealing in that way is quite useful as a posturing tool of sorts.

A trench coat is warm. The lining does an excellent job of keeping your body heat. That warmth reminds me just a bit of the description of Raistlin and his body heat. When I put the coat on, and I feel the heat as a result, I also feel like the magic is surrounding me. I've done enough rituals out in the winter cold to appreciate a good trench coat and how marvelous it can be for keeping me warm, but also how it feels as I move around and the garment presses against me, or flows around me, much like a magician's robe might.

I don't know that there is any inherent magic to a trench coat or any other garment, but I think what it evokes for me is what makes the coat special. It's how I feel as a result of wearing it that really matters. That experience is magical and in turn it makes the coat magical.

Expectations and Magic

I came across this intriguing post from Chirotus Infinitum about weather magic and expectations of failure the other day. What I liked about it is that he really explores the expectation that some people carry around that magic will fail, which is coupled in turn with putting it all on a deity instead. I'm inclined to agree with Chirotus's perspective, which is that it's a load of BS to have expectations that magic will fail. But it also doesn't surprise me that some people try to put a moratorium on weather magic or magic of any type that's practical. I think that some people find the idea of practical magic to be a bit threatening. Practical magic is all about applying change to the environment around you and when you do that you're taking something into your hands that typically has been associated with deities and the like. You're taking power into your hands and all the responsibility that comes with it.

Chirotus is quite right that weather is a complex system to work with, but what I find fascinating is how there is this tendency to discourage practical magic in certain quarters of Paganism. Chirotus discusses how there's an expectation set up that a person will fail, and I think that expectation comes from the fact that in some cases people don't know what they are doing with magic. And so the expectation to fail is easily set up because if you don't understand what you're doing, you really can't succeed.

One of the problems I have with spell books is that when you look at your typical spell it's a recipe that gives you a set of instruction, but doesn't really explain the underlying principles of magic or how its supposed to work. You do the spell and then you wait and see if something happens...it's all left up to chance. Chance is a bitch. I have a similar problem with deferring to a higher authority to make things happen. You see that deferment in the Christian religion and sometimes you see it in Paganism, which Chirotus points out in his article. Let deity X handle this problem for me. The problem with doing that is you're relying on the whim of some other being to actually favor you. On the plus side, if the situation doesn't work out, you can always blame deity x for not doing anything, but then you might ask a question which is: "Why should deity X care about my situation enough to do something?" And the answer is that deity x probably doesn't care because deity X is busy doing what Deity X needs to do...or maybe s/he cares, but s/he is busy fielding all the other requests as well (From what I hear this gets pretty tiresome).

There's a saying that God takes care of those who takes care of themselves. I like that saying, because it puts the responsibility back on you. You take care of it instead of waiting for something else to come along and do it for you. You take the power and the responsibility and you do something. And yes sometimes you'll fail, but if you're smart you'll learn from that failure because you'll look at magic as a process instead of as something you do in the hopes that something might happen. You'll look at what you've done and you'll take it apart to figure out what didn't work and then you'll put it back together again, better than before.

And get rid of expectations. They are another form of fixating on results to the point that you lust for them. Yes that's true even with negative expectations. If you expect that magic will fail you are setting up a negative result and focusing on it to the point that you blind to other possibilities. That's the last thing you need in your magical process. Forget expectations about magic and focus on working your process and learning from it. And do some practical magic to solve your problems instead of waiting for something to come along. Do the practical magic because you know it's better to take action and push for a change. That's how magic works really. It works because you do it, because you see a need for it, and you take it on yourself to exercise the power within you to change reality. And for some people that's frightening...but if you're a magician its something you take on because you know you have the power and the responsibility to handle it.

The Art of Not Knowing

In Thinking in New Boxes, one of the suggestions that the authors make is that you doubt everything you know, or that you cultivate a state of not knowing. I think of this as the art of not knowing and what it really involves is learning to recognize that everything you think you know is a filter that can keep you from being open to what you could learn. I practice the art of not knowing every day and it has helped my creativity and appreciation of the world immensely. Not knowing allows you to move out of your comfort zone (which is what you "know") and experience the magic of life. So how do you cultivate the art of not knowing?

As the authors suggest, learn to doubt everything you think you know. What you know can entrap you because while it seems to provide a sense of certainty about the world, what it also provides are filters for your experience of the world. By doubting everything you keep yourself open to experiencing the present as it is, without holding onto preconceptions that could hold you back from being fully present.

Something else that I do is continually cultivate curiosity. I'm curious about everything. I don't assume I know everything, but rather constantly ask questions and test what I think know because I'm curious to see what I'll discover. By being curious I allow myself to not know and use that not knowing to artfully uncover the mysteries of the universe.

Another way that I cultivate not knowing involves experimenting with what I'm learning about. I never take the authority's word for it, but instead test it myself to see what I can discover. Sometimes what I discover is what the authority has shared and sometimes I discover something else entirely. Whatever it is that I discover, I keep myself open to discovering it by allowing myself to experiment and test, instead of just accepting something as known.

Assume nothing, know nothing and allow yourself to use not knowing to keep you in a place of curiosity, inquiry, and experimentation. You'll discover a lot more and have a lot more fun.

Month 12 Elemental Balancing Ritual Movement: Focus

9-27-13 Since Eros brought up that we'd focus on focus in movement, I've been paying more attention to everything I'm doing from exercising and eating to writing and business. By consciously focusing on what I'm doing or how I'm doing it, I've been able to more consciously interact with the movements of everything I'm doing. I've also been continuing to study movement, especially the movements that occur in any given situation. What I've observed is that everything is in motion and yet the motion creates stillness as well. The stillness is the realization of movement, which nonetheless also leads into more movement, which is potential stillness.

9-28-13 I'm taking part 1 of the Oak, Ash, and Thorn workshop that R. J. Stewart offers. It's been a good experience so far, and one where I'm getting a lot from the workshop. I've been given two symbols that relate to my current work. I've also been mediating about tress and how the roots of a tree extend to the underworld, while the branches of the tree extend to the celestial world and the trunk mediates the mixture of under and over world energy in order to manifest reality. What's fascinating is that the meditations have given me some really interesting ideas about where to take some of the movement work. I'm looking forward to seeing what day 2 brings.

10-2-13 It's been a few days since the workshop with RJ wrapped up. Today I made an offering to Hawthorn. I drove out to a place where I'd found Hawthorn leaves and did a brief prayer of thanks and then made the appropriate offering. I felt a brief sense of acceptance and that was that. I'll start work with the next tree tomorrow in my meditations.

As for the second day of the workshop...I got an idea for pop culture magic 2.0 based on a discussion RJ had about iconotropism, which basically involves the understanding of how icons evolve as cultures bring new tropes to them. We also got into a discussion about mediation and its role in magic. Having RJ's works I felt like the discussion shed further light on what mediation is as a principle of magic and how important it is to be open to being moved by what you work with, while also being able to mediate that for other people and even yourself. I also ended up connecting with Puck as an entity, to the point that I ended up mediating him as well as connecting with another entity, of which I wrote a poem/invocation. What interests me the most about Puck is that he's a gatekeeper of the cross roads, a door opener, which is something I intimately relate to in my own work. I found it even more interesting to realize that all of the entities/deities I work with on a prolonged basis also mediate energies of the cross roads, and I've also thought of myself as an opener of the ways (as well as having others indicate that about me as well). I got a third symbol and I need to spend some time working with these symbols.

Beyond all that I've been contemplating focus and its place or lack thereof in my life. I actually recognize that in some ways I have been very unfocused. That might sound odd to some people, but when I consider the last decade of my life, I see a lot of wandering, a lot of drifting. I'm okay with that because I needed it, but I'm also ready for it to end, and I've been giving a lot of thought to what I can be great at and how that can focus my efforts in whatever I'm doing.

10-3-13 I finished reading Good to Great last night and I woke up early this morning with a profound realization: I need to be great at what I'm called to do and what I'm called to do isn't the business coaching. What I'm called to do is the spiritual work, the writing, the classes, the coaching that I can offer through that particular medium. I've felt so scattered, so unfocused because I've tried to do too many things at the same time and because I've bought into limiting beliefs and fears about being an occult author and pursuing this work full time. Some of those limiting beliefs are my own, formed when I first started writing and felt that as an occult writer I'd never be able to make a living from it (obviously there are writers who can and have done it by offering more than just writing). But some of it also comes from other people who applied their own fears to me or showed me in one form or another that they felt I was a burden or a drain and that they didn't really believe in what I could do. The thing is I've lurched from business to business, trying to find something that makes me want to get up and get started with my day, and as I've done this I've learned certain lessons. I've learned that I prefer to be self-employed. I've also learned that I love working with people. And now I'm really taking to heart something a coach of mine said to me: You can't two chase two rabbits at the same time. I've been chasing two rabbits at the same time for a while now. I've got a publishing business I help run, I've got my writing and spiritual work, and I've got the business coaching, but what I've also got is a split in focus with not much getting done at all. I haven't really given myself over to any one thing.

I can't give up my writing or the magic. It's what I live, love, breathe, etc. It's my life, my work, my everything. And the publishing is part of that work, part of the spiritual calling I have, part of something I need to do for the sake of what that publishing represents. But the business coaching is something else. I like it and I'm good at it, but it doesn't call to me in the same way. It never has. It's also a giant time commitment. The amount of networking I do alone eats up so much time that a lot of days I don't feel like writing. I'm peopled out and just want to recharge.

I woke up this morning and I answered this question of what I can be great at, what I know I''m great at. I told Kat about it, laying it all out, the fears, the realizations, everything and she said to me: I support you completely. I believe in you completely. I know you are called to do this and I'm willing to support what you want to do. Hearing that and knowing it's true, knowing that what I really feel called to do is supported and believed in. This made me feel good. I'm ready to really pursue what I am called to do.

10-6-13 In my meditation today Bune came to visit and we had a long discussion about money habits. He pointed out that I needed to make some changes in lifestyle and really focus in on the long term vision of where Kat and I want to be. It's easy to get so caught up in now, but he's got a really good point and it really struck home to me, especially as he reviewed how I've handled my business money and made some suggestions on things I could change. After my work with him, I went to the crossroads and discovered that the next tree I need to work with is Oak. There's some interesting ideas I'll share eventually in a separate once I've connected with all the trees.

10-7-13 I'm reading Make Magic of your Life by T. Thorn Coyle. She makes an interesting about obsession and how it consumes you. My own experiences with obsession certainly validate that perception of it, whereas she considers desire to be something that runs deeps and speaks to what we really want. Working with desire is uncovering what we really want and making it part of our lives, while obsession is running from what we want, getting lost in something, but not being honest about what we really want from it. When I apply this to myself, I see the obsession show up in my relationships and the driving need I've felt to fill up the emptiness within myself. I still feel that on occasion and I'm still figuring out as a result what my desires are and what my obsessions are, but as I've learned to mediate the emptiness and not run from it, its made it easier for me to focus in on doing this internal work and helping me uncover my desires, while also letting the obsessions go.

10-10-13 The past half week has really drawn my awareness to the fact that I am my own worst enemy when it comes to focus. While I manage to get a lot done, I can be fairly scattered in my approach to work and life. I think in some ways I've been scattered because I've been focused on several different directions. That and realizing how much networking I've been doing and how exhausted I am from it. I'm realizing how much of an introvert I am and this in turn has helped me see how much I need to focus my efforts toward my projects and writing over anything else.

10-16-13 Since I last wrote in this entry I've been examining my focus or lack thereof and come to a few conclusions. I've decided to cut back on networking events for the business coaching, and I've also decided to only check e-mail and social media twice a day. Implementing these actions has already made me feel better and more focused than I was before. I'm getting to some of the writing I've been wanting to do and even planning a class for some time in the future. It's funny how certain situations have to come to a flash point where the arrival at such a point forces you to evaluate what you're doing and how you're doing it and provides you a way to make changes that frees up some of the mental and emotional space you were investing elsewhere.

10-18-13 One of the most important lessons I've learned is that acting on impulse can create a lot of problems. Since the realization I had a few weeks ago about what I'm great at, I've really just focused on thinking about what actions to take, which I've written about above, but ultimately I came to the conclusions that tossing the baby out with the bathwater (i.e. stopping business coaching altogether) isn't a good idea. I do like business coaching, and what I realized I really needed was to evaluate my time and refocus on the writing, but still keep the business coaching, because it is a business that is continuing to grow.

I've always been an impulsive person and it has rarely served me in a good way. My impulsiveness has seen me make life decisions that I've ultimately regretted because they put me in situations where I ended up more miserable than anything else. So spending some time really thinking about my choices and what I want to do has been really helpful and a useful application of focus. I don't need to be scattered and floundering every which way. I've done enough of that already, but being focused and really being present with a given decision...that's something I'm going to keep doing.

10-19-13 Writing is its own magic, a feeling of flow and creative application that turns into manifestation and action on the part of writer and reader. When I write and I am really into it, it feels like the heart of the universe has opened up to me and revealed its secrets, allowing me to be a medium that in turn shares those secrets with anyone willing to read the words I share. Writing brings me to life in a way that almost nothing else does (only magic makes me feel the same). Writing is a reality in and of itself, an altered state of consciousness and identity that causes the rest of the world to fade away in the clatter of keys and the connection to the creative urge that speaks the words of the universe through me.

10-21-13 It's my birthday. I am 37 today, the age my parents were when I was born. That's a bit mind blowing in and of itself. This last weekend Kat took me to Astoria for as a birthday gift. We visited the Flavel House, Cultural Museum, and the Jail where they filmed the opening scenes of the Goonies. Each place was interesting in its own way. At the Flavel house, both Kat and I felt the presence of the ghosts on the property. The town itself is an interesting place with a lot of history.

On Sunday, when we got back, we went for a walk and made offerings to Oak, Ash, and Thorn, followed by the offering  make to Dragon. I felt a bit frustrated in regards to the trees, because I'd had trouble identifying them, so Kat pointed out that I just needed to let myself feel as opposed to think about them and she was quite right. I'd been too busy intellectualizing them. This morning, when I meditated, I let myself reach out to them and I connected to them. They told me the symbols I'd gotten during the weekend workshop were symbols I could use in the space/time magic work I'm doing, and were also meant to help me connect with them. I'm going to meditate on those symbols over the next couple of days.

Usually at this time of year, on this day of my birth I transition from one element to another. I've chosen this time around to stick with the element of movement for another year. There's a lot more for me to experience with that element and I'm open to discovering whatever it is I learn.

Happy Birthday to me!

Pop Culture Magic/Geekomancer survey

I came across the survey below via S. Rune Emerson's post on Pagansquare and thought I'd answer it as well. The idea was originally taken and adapted from asksecularwitch on Tumblr. I would guess that I'd be considered a geekomancer, given my interest in pop culture magic, so I'm answering the survey in that vein.

1. As a Geekomancer or Practitioner of Geekomancy/pop culture magic, where do your moral and ethics come from?

Primarily they come from my own experiences. It's fair to say that I take a situational approach to morals and ethics. I see situations as shades of gray and act accordingly. All that said, I do have some definite boundaries about what I won't do, and as I've continued to do a lot of meditation and internal work, I've found that the chaos in my life has diminished a lot, so I favor applying more proactive approaches to handling situations and recognizing my role in said situations so I can take appropriate responsibility.

2. Is it hard to interact with people who don't relate to the geekomantic/pop culture magic practices?

It can be when it comes to pop culture magic. While that's not the only type of magic I practice, and I have an extensive foundation in Western and Far Eastern spiritual practices, I find that with pop culture magic you either have people who love it and respond well to it (thankfully much more now) or you have people who get bent out of shape and feel it's a threat to their spiritual practices or try to put it down as something which isn't serious magic. For the most part, I avoid interacting with the latter type of people because they already figure they know everything (thus their dogmatism and need to attack something different) and any argument with me is just going to be an exercise in futility for all involved.

3. Have you had any problems with being a Geekomancer/pop culture magic [such as people being aggressive to you because you're a geek]?

On occasion, mainly when dealing with dogmatic people who think they know everything about magic. Otherwise, it hasn't been an issue. I did go trough a love/hate period with pop culture magic, due in large part to the hostile reactions I got toward it, but I've come to realize that what matters is that what I do works and that I'll find other people who want to share in it, if they feel called to it.

4. What is your opinion on what constitutes "magical orthodoxy?"

Hmmm...I think magic practice can be perceived as a process and if you understand the process, i.e. how magic works, you can apply it to anything you want to draw on. The key is to recognize that the props are merely window dressings, and the real process is what you actually do with magical work.

5. How do you interact [if at all] with more 'traditional' or culturally-accepted spirits and gods?

I have some interaction with a few such beings and we seem to get along fine. I treat them with respect, much as I'd like to be treated.

6. Where are the origins of your practice?

I wanted to practice magic since I was 7 or 8 and first began reading fantasy. Eventually I discovered magic was real and I started experimenting with it. My experiences form the basis of my practice, but they are also informed by my studies and interests. I'd have to say that Raistlin from Dragonlance is part of the origin of my practice. I always resonated with his character and what that character went through, and why magic is so important. I felt and feel the same way to this day.

7. What are the big items that you practice within your practice [example: Divination, Spellwork, Herbalism, Spirit Work, etc] and how do you deal with them on a fundamental level as a Geekomancer?

Meditation, practical magic (sorry I don't do spells), entity work. And ow I deal with them...I make it a part of my everyday life.

8. Have you met other magicians like you?

There's a couple of people I've met in person who have a similar interest in pop culture magic, and a larger amount online as well. That said, it's few and far between, and when you add in my other interests such as space/time magic or Inner alchemy, it becomes even smaller. I'm a pioneer of experimental magical practice, but its good to see more pop culture magicians.

9. Do you have any core doctrines, practices, or principles that you work through? [Such as: Using X gemstones because Y, for example]

I treat magic as a process, and I'd say that informs everything else I do. In that process can be found the principles of magic. My approach to magic is methodical, and that kind of thinking is what really makes my practice what it is.

10. How long have you been practicing Geekomancy, pop culture magic vs Any Other Type of Magic [assuming you've practiced more than Geekomancy]?

I've been practicing pop culture magic since 1995, which is just two years after I started practicing magic. I started sharing my work in 1997 and eventually wrote Pop Culture Magick in 2003 (published 2004).

11. How do you view concepts like the soul, ghosts, afterlife, etc?

I don't really care to be honest. I've had enough near death experiences that I know there's something on the other side, but I figure it'll be important when I'm dead.

12. Is there are particular location that you practice in and what are the reasonings for that?

I do magic anywhere, because it is everywhere.

13. Compared to others [either who have answered this survey or who you've met] what is your feelings on others who practice Geekomancy/pop culture magic? It makes me happy to see other people practicing pop culture magic and it makes me feel vindicated that i'm right that pop culture magic is a viable form of magical practice.

Bonus: What comes to mind when I say: "Balloon"?  Loud scrunchy noises, hot air, and bright colors. Pop!

How being great defines my spirituality

I recently finished reading Good to Great (review below). It's a book about what makes some businesses great, but as with anything else you can apply the principles in the book to your spiritual work. As I've been reading this book, I've been thinking a lot about what I'm great at, about what I can do that not just anyone else can do and I recommend reading the book and asking yourself the same question, because you may find that it changes your life, work, and spiritual practices...or it may just confirm something you already know, but give you a different perspective on it.

I think that asking yourself what you can be great at can define your spiritual work as well as your practical life. When you ask yourself what you can be great at spiritually what you are really doing is focusing on what brings you to life, when it comes to spiritual matters. For example if you identify as a reconstructionist, perhaps what you are great at is identifying with, researching, and implementing practices from a spiritual tradition that speaks to you with its values and practices. I'd argue that what you identify with, what you feel called to defines what you can be great at.

I feel called to experiment. I identify myself as an experimenter, and for me its what brings the greatest joy to my spiritual practice. It's what makes great as a magician, because I've recognized that my identification with experimentation makes me great. It's what makes my spiritual path thrive, and it provides me a deep seated sense of connection to magic because I recognize how it fits in with my passion and my curiosity. Reading Good to Great just helped me understand that even more because I recognize that what I am great at is experimenting with magic, experimenting with different perspectives, methodologies, etc. What makes you great with your spiritual practice?

Book Review: Good to Great by Jim Collins

This is a must read book that will change more tan just how you run your business. It will change your life, because it will ask you a tough question: What can you be great at? In this book the author explores what makes some businesses "good" and makes other businesses great. What he reveals is that businesses who know what they are great at and focus on that to the exclusion of everything else are the businesses that become great because they understand their core value and culture. They make themselves great because they are so focused on what they can be great at, that they make it the entire purpose of their work and lives. They define their core values and let those values inform everything they do. This is a book that will help you understand how to be great at your business or your life for that matter. The case studies and principles they explore show how some businesses become great and why they stay great. Buy this book and read it because it will change your perspective on business and life.

Some Thoughts about Oaths and Offerings

This last weekend I attended a weekend workshop by RJ Stewart and Anastacia Nutt which is the Oak, Ash, and Thorn workshop for Faery work. I highly recommend their classes if you are wanting to learn more about magic in general as well about working with the Faery. In any case, they made some interesting points about oaths and offerings, which I want to share, as well as my own considerations of what was said. I've included pictures of my finished dragon tattoo, which is an offering I made to Dragon to honor his role in my life.

In regards to oaths, RJ noted that the stereotypical treatment of oaths is that when an oath is made, if its broken dire consequences occur and that it's implied its entirely on you to honor the oath. However he offered a different perspective on oaths, wherein an oath should be made in good faith, but that both parties need to do their part to honor the oath. In other words, if I make an oath to a particular spirit or deity, it's both on me and the deity to honor the oath. He said that the effort should be 50% from both sides. Not only did I find this to be a much more sensible explanation of oaths, but I also think there's some value to approaching oaths in that way. If an oath is entirely on the head of the person giving the oath, then there is an imbalance already involved because who or whatever the oath is being made to is expecting everything and providing nothing. On the other hand if the deity is also contributing to the upholding of the oath, then what occurs is a genuine relationship. I don't think I've come across an explicit explanation such as what RJ offers, but I find his explanation to make the most sense and certainly to be a better one than the stereotypical definition offered about oaths.

In regards to offerings, RJ noted that the reason spirits want food is because they get something back from our process of manifestation. The spirits can't cook food, are responsible for the initial growing process. However when we cook food we are doing something they can't do and changing the nature of the food, and this provides them a kind of sustenance or energy as a result. He recommends making an offering a week, and suggests moderation in this practice. Again this is something which makes sense to me and I like his approach to this particular practice. I have been integrating offerings into my daily work via the form of a prayer of thanks, but his suggestions about offerings are ones I'm also going to integrate.

I recognize that other people have their own perspectives on offerings and oaths, but I find that RJ's perspectives are what resonate with me, and I think it is important to discover and recognize how a given principle of magic manifests in your life. It may manifest differently for you than it would for others, or you may find that one definition makes more sense than another. Different people will have different perspectives on what works and why it works...the key is to find your own and understand and implement it.

Definitions and sense of self as intersections of identity

I'm reading Thinking in New Boxes.  It's a good book, and I know this because it's gotten me thinking along some interesting vectors. In Thinking in New Boxes, the author explains how there's no such thing as thinking outside the box. He claims we all think in boxes and even if we get outside of one box, we're still thinking in another box, because of we use "boxes" to define and explain the world around us. Essentially, boxes are labels, definitions, models, etc., for helping us navigate and understand our experiences. He makes an interesting point when he notes, "To make sense of all these disparate inputs (stimuli, elements, events, etc.,) your mind either relies on preexisting categories that it has already created or, if none of those categories fits the present reality, it generates new ones." And what this prompted me to realize is that categorizations also can apply to a person's sense of self, and thus create intersections of identity.

Part of this realization also comes from something else the author said, namely that in order to deal with complicated aspects of real life we need to use "boxes" in order to compartmentalize those aspects. This compartmentalization creates an intersection of identity, where the "box" is used to shape an identity that handles what's in the box. So for example, you have a job identity, which is different from your romance identity. Both of these identities exist in you and can even come to the fore at the same time, but typically one will be more prevalent than another based on the environment you are in, as well as whatever stimuli you're dealing with at the time. The reason we come up with different identities is to handle the boxes, but also because it allows us to switch off when we go into another situation which calls for another identity to come to the fore.

So this is taking me in some interesting directions, because I'm also thinking about definitions and how they are used to define a perceived reality according to the agenda of the definer. When we add in the above idea, what we come up with as well is that definitions don't just define a perceived reality, but also the identity of the person using the definition. In other words, definitions define the person as much as they define whatever is being defined. This might seem like a bit of a stretch, but consider that part of the agenda for a definition is that it not only defines something, but also defines a person's interaction with that thing, and by extension the identity of the person. In this sense then a definition becomes an intersection of identity, both the identity of the definer, and the identity of the people who use the definition, as well as the definition in and of itself.

For magical work, this intersection of identity and definition can be useful for exploring how particular identities are formed and sustained as well as how they can be modified. If we can consider that definitions are a categorization of not only ideas, but also identity, then whatever definitions we use need to be chose carefully, and in fact this may be why it's better to develop our own definitions. At the same time, we can also explore the identity of the person or people who developed the definitions and better understand why they chose to define something in the way they did. This understanding can help us in the formation of our own identities as well as the definitions we use, and make the magical work more meaningful.