In Loco Dei: Pathology in Western Magic

By Vince Stevens In dealing with Modern Western Magic, I and those I work with often find consistent patterns of pathology in Western Magical culture:

  • Tendencies to arrogance and self-obsession among magicians.
  • An inordinate focus on rebellion, rebelliousness, and distance from the dominant - or any culture.
  • An unusual distance from people, processes, nature, and the world at large - a distinct sense of separation.  Magic is push-button, and people, cultures, nature, and even magic are seen as something mechanical, easily boiled down to a fw traits.

These pathologies often trouble I and those I work with in magic.  As magical pratcitioners, as much as we enjoy the activity, the pathologies in Western Magical culture prevent barriers.  Simply, when one joins a group, a list, go to an event, you worry you're going to run into what are lovingly called "the nuts" (and less lovingly called many other things.

I find no reason to think these pathologies are universal to magical and mystical practitioners.  A quick examination of practitioners of magical arts and their legends in different cultures reveals a variety of different kinds of personalities, virtues, vices, and practices.  One can find alchohol-fueled shamans, serene Buddist monks with occult abilities, compassionate Taoist sage-Immortals, and more.  There is no reason to assume the pathologies of Western Magic are universal to magical practitioners, or even have any particular utility.

Looking at these pathologies, I felt they would be best addressed.  So in my small effort to make a contribution to understanding these issues, I decided to ask - just where did these pathologies come from?  Perhaps by understanding these issues, I could do some good.

So, I started at the top.

ARROGANCE: The Christian God.

Christianity was the dominant religion of the West for centuries, and is an odd religion in many ways.  It proposes an omnipotent and omniscient deity of ultimate power that still possesses identifiable human traits of anger, love, and so forth.  Its central deity, despite his great power, allows evil and suffering to exist due to a rebellious minion, later explained as an issue of free will - which one would figure that an omnipotent being could deal with such an issue.  Attempts had to be made to reconcile a rather cruel tribal (Old Testament) deity with a later loving deity, leaving one with a loving being manipulating a messed up world and eventually condoning eternal torment for people for what would be frankly trivial actions.

The Christian God was also a distant being.  His creation was a possession of his own, as were the sentients within it.  He would regularly send disasters, plagues, and so forth upon people and countries, theological weapons of mass destruction.  He had no connection to his creation except as something separate.

However, despite his confusing nature, the Christian God was considered the leader in all things, and thus in many ways, could be taken as a role model.  His commandments were to be obeyed (even if they seemed to benefit those relaying said commandments).  His world was law, and his confusing traits were to be explained as mysteries or by theological acrobatics.

Magical practices of these times were thus limited by the strange issues of this deity: early Western-Christian magic seems to have split between "Natural Science" magic that worked with perceived neutral or divine forces, and a kind of religious magic where one used (or misused) the name of the Christian God, rituals, and so forth to achieve certain ends.  One worked within creation - or stepped into the rather large shoes of the Deity to call angels, coerce demons, and so forth.  There were exceptions (such as the mystical meditations of Honorius and of course the Cabalists.), but such two-sided magic seemed to predominate.

One never left the sphere of control of the Omnipowerful Christian God, but one could act like him.  And in this, I think the seeds of the pathologies of Western Magic were planted (as well as frankly pure social problems).  The first role model was an incomprehensible, erratic tyrant.

Of course, tyrants produce rebels . . .

REBELLION: Shout at the Devil Explaining the problems of the world in light of the hodge-podge of the Christian God proved rather difficult for people - a perfectly powerful, perfectly loving being was dealing with a supposedly imperfect creation.  Fortunately, theology provided a way with Satan, who can be thought of in many ways, but I think of him as a religious plot device.  A McGuffin with horns.

Satan is a figure somewhat less confusing than the Christian god, if only because he's somewhat simpler: a rebellious servant who decided to do his own thing and was, essentially, a professional pain-in-the neck.  You could always blame Satan.

Accusations of Satan Worship were common in Europe for hundreds of years - different sects of Christianity naturally assumed other sects were in league with the devil.  Satan was everywhere you weren't, and the explanation for all bad things.

Satan had two influences on Western Magic in my opinion: 1) First, Satan's influence on popular culture at the time led to plenty of stories of Satanism - and of course Satanic magic.  Faust may have been popular, but similar tales of deals with the devil popped up all over.  The idea of the magician as in league with dark, rebellious forces easily worked its way into popular consciousness, and affected people's expectations of magic.  Would-be magicians, frauds, novelists, and honest seekers were easily influenced - or were glad to influence others - with false grimoires and strange experiments. 2) Satan led to endless speculation, and of course, writing.  He was explored in Paradise lost.  He was written about.  He became a convenient dumping ground for people's fears.  Of course, as the human mind can't resist exploring, he was at times visualized as a hero, or turned into a counterforce to an evil false God with a nice injection of pseudo-Gnostic thought.  Perhaps the ultimate triumph of the idea of Satan were people who decided to actually go worship him, as others had been accused of doing.

However, Satan really wasn't much of a role model, except perhaps for the bacchanalian rebellion he provided against straight-laced society.  He was childishly (and suicidally) rebellious, destructive and lashing out against creation, and in general, a jerk.  He was a mirror-image to the Christian God, and he lived up to it, adding only one new trait: rebellion.

Thus the Western Magician was caught between an arrogant and bizarre god, and a romanticized but destructive rebel.  Magic itself was part of a system that usually involved coercion of beings (and a helping of whatever old pre-Christian rituals could be adapted).

DISTANCE: Blinded by Science As Western Society moved into its scientific age, a more enlightened time, the scientist took his well-deserved place in culture.  New discoveries, rational exploration, and intelligent thought became important to culture.  It's no small feat to say science is something we owe much to in Western society.

However, science still grew up in the culture of the West, and it inherited some of the pathologies.  Science could justify tribalistic identity with "scientifically justified" racism.  Science was seen as liberating us from creation and controlling it - much as the deity had.

Science in Western society, for all its gains, postulated humans distant from creation, controlling it, dominating it.  Despite evolution's reminder of our origins, people were still distant and controlling - just as the Christian God had been.  I will be fully straightforward in my biases - I think a lot of modern Western science hasn't yet transcended its cultural biases.

Unfortunately those biases came from the Western Christian concepts - and people were still following in the footsteps of the Christian God (and in a few cases, Satan's cloven hoofprints).

Science was in a way a boon to Western Magic - bringing in psychology, scientific metaphor, and cultural study.  I'd say in fact Western Magic greatly benefited from science.

However the distance rarely seemed to go away.  I've seen magic boiled down to pure, materialist psychology, fears of "scientificizing" or "psychologicizing" magic, and so on.  Magic, I think, has often suffered self-esteem issues in the West, and thus compensates not by doing its own thing, but by trying to be more like science.  There's a point when if you start being something else, you stop being what you are.

THE SUMMARY Western Magic, though making many leaps in the last decades (or century), still has its pathologies as mentioned in the introduction: Arrogance, Rebellion, and Distance.  The role models of Western culture (acknowledged and not), leave us with these traits.

However acknowledging the past lets us cope with it - and magic is after all transformational.  By acknowleding that Western Magic hasn't always had the best role models (and survived despite that), we can go about developing the future.

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"Go at your own pace"

When I hiked on Tuesday and later on Sunday, each time I hiked XAH was with me, loping alongside me. Everytime I felt the urge to speed up, he cautioned me, "Go at your own pace." I slowed down. I started to lope along at a pace that was easy on my body. The hike became much easier and I started to notice more details. Instead of trying to conquer the mountain, I was soaking in what was around me. I started to have a deeper appreciation for the way the light was filtered through the trees. The cold air kissed me as it never had before, and the Earth seemed to welcome as it's child. XAH grinned at me and said, "See, much easier. You're so busy trying to get somewhere you forget how to enjoy where you are." Relaxing into my own pace, I focused less on where I wanted to...I'm already where I need to be. When I think about that advice in my life, I appreciate anew something I've thought before: It will all be there tomorrow...Do what I can today, but relax and enjoy what I have as well. "Go at your own pace" means so much more than regulating my pace and in emptiness going at your own pace is what keeps you going on the road to everything and nothing

A sharp wrenching pain the feeling of claws scrabbling against my skin A muzzle coming forth from my chest blood dripping from the lolling tongue the golden eyes ablaze with life as the light from my own eyes begins to fade under a film of death.

He is reborn, he is reborn I am just the capsule for his expression Nine tails come out of the gap He's standing over my ruined body He grins down at my with gaping jaws, and then playfully seizes my face in his haws Delicately, delicately he could crush my face so easily, but he just swipes me with his tongue.

"Join me..." He swipes his tongue over my wounds the blood clots, the vessels repair, the skin closes. I stand up, with his help, my hand on his fur

"Destruction is birth Creativity is death Everything in nothing nothing becoming everything Join me"

We run, run, run into the void I am distant from everything and yet so close you could feel the fox-fire of my breath on your cheek if you knew how.

His eyes are infinity his breath is death I'm fading into him

So this is nothing I'm so empty I'm just a husk everything is gone and yet it's all so close.

"Join me..."

Randomness

The Power of being Open in Magic This is refined article of one of my previous posts, published on Right Where You are sitting Now. I expanded the concepts a bit further in it to explain how being open can actually limit the field of possibilities that are accessible.

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Who is speaking? Who is writing? Who is reading? I've been reading a book based on Gurdijeff's techniques around language and it seems he played quite a bit with concepts of self as they are expressed and perceived via language. The book is called The Magic Language of the Fourth Way by Pierre Bonnasse. I'm also reading the Apohenion by Peter Carroll, and Meta-Magick By Phil Farber, as well as Guerilla Marketing by Jay Conrad Levinson and The Fabric of the Cosmos by Brian Greene.

I find such a variety of reading to be very potent in how one considers his/her magical practice. We look at a variety disciplines to learn about the different perspectives for how reality manifests. We look at different magical traditions, but also other disciplines so we can understand how those disciplines inform how others consider the world. A Multi-disciplinarian approach ensures that we don't limit ourselves or get stuck in the past. It demands we look around and see what others are doing, so that we consider our practices in light of that.

When I started practicing magic at 16 (Do you know I've been practicing for half my lifetime now?) I wanted to learn everything I could about magic. Now at 32, I want to learn everything I can about everything. A generalist's approach. My friend Bill says that specialization is for insects...and I agree. Knowing a lot about one area of study can make you ill-informed and shallow about so much else. And whilst the same argument could be made that focusing on a generalist approach makes for a shallow understanding across a broad stretch of disciplines, I've found that as I learn about the different disciplines and ways of structuring life, there's a lot of cross over and connection. What's different is the discourse, the jargon, the language we use to communicate with each other.

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I'm now a teacher at the Growing Edge Institute, which is a sister site of Maybe Logic Academy. My first course will start on November 24th and it will be on Pop Culture Magic: an Exploration of 21st Century Mythology. The description for the class is below:

From the mid twentieth century to the present, pop culture has presented us a new mythology for our time and culture. While the beliefs and practices of older cultures are still viable, this class will show you how to integrate the mythology of pop culture into your occult practice. Lessons will include the following:

•    How to create a relationship with a pop culture or corporate entity and work with it for a variety of purposes, including letting it teach you a skill, navigate the dangers of the modern workplace, and modernize magical practices. •    How to incorporate pop culture into practical applications of magic, including how to use video games to do practical magic, how comicbook design can be used in magical practice, Pop Astral magic, etc. •    How pop culture is defined in pop culture magic, and how to create your own personal system of magic with pop culture. •    How to create effective collages for evoking people and situations into your life. •    How clothing, video games, and pop culture can be used to hone your invocation skills and change your identity

The ultimate goal of this course is to present you with a pop culture toolbox that you can use to integrate contemporary culture into your magical practices.

One week in

One week in to the Elemental Emptiness ritual working and I can already feel some definite differences. A lot of my insecurities have come forward a lot more. Some of it is just the nature of dealing with the emptiness and some of it is a personal situation I'm adjusting to. Regardless, these feelings have surfaced and I'm working on how they make me feel feel, because it's not just feeling the emotion, it's also feeling the hollowness these emotions provide. I've noticed that my enjoyment of different things has decreased a bit, while at the same time, the physical stimuli of light in particular stands out much more than before. What does the latter have to do with emptiness? I have no clue, not yet.

On Tuesday, when I hiked, I almost feel at one point. If I had fallen, I'd have likely tumbled down a cliff and hit a rocky area. I caught myself in time, but it was a reminder of my mortality. And on Friday I got into a car accident. Nothing too severe, no physical pain...but the spectre of emotional pain, the reminder of a car accident that was much worse again brought up that reminder of my mortality. Since emptiness or void is about nothingness, the reminder of mortality is a reminder of emptiness as well, in its own way.

For me, a lot of this vulnerability...it is liked being soaked with rain, trying to find even a hint of dryness and knowing you can't...you shudder, you try to bundle in, but the wet is there...that's how my vulnerability feels in the face of starting work with this element.

Future me

So there's a site called Futureme.org where you can send an email to yourself in the future. I've been using it for the last couple years to occasionally emails to myself and predict or set the intent for what I want to manifest. The result's have been fairly accurate and this doesn't surprise me because I'm essentially telling myself what I plan to manifest. I keep the emails short and to the point. At most four sentences. I think if you can't conscisely state what you want, you probably don't know what you want. I don't know if I consider this a space/time magic experiment or not...I suppose it could be and it will be going into the book as an example of some of my work with my future selves. It's worth trying out anyway...

Bits and Pieces

I finished reading Language, Thought and Reality by Benjamin Lee Whorf and waltzed right into Defining Reality by Edward Schiappa. Whorf's work was interesting and makes me wonder how much Burroughs might have read or if Burroughs came to similar conclusions about language independently. Defining Reality, by Schiappa, is a favorite book of mine and is a logical extension of Whorf's work and argument that language shapes our conceptions of reality. A definition describes agency, and can be an attempt to control the conceptualization of reality. *********

I've been thinking lately that the more a person exposes him/her self to a particular meme, the more desensitizied s/he becomes to that particular meme. Initially the meme is quite pervasive and powerful, but later it becomes boring, something all too often encountered. You begin to realize that you've been there again and again and again. What makes a meme live? The value and meaning associated with it, but desensitization can take the meaning out of a meme, make it part of the background. Eventually it fades away, the lustre lost in the glow of new memes or simply the lack of meaning a person finds in all those crazy memes. At some point a meme without meaning is a person without water. Dehydrated and dying. Memes only have value when they are provided meaning...even if that meaning is as simple as fulfilling a desire such as hunger or sex.

The dedication to the Element of Emptiness

On Saturday I finished my elemental love working and switched over to the element of emptiness. When Babalon took me and handed me off, she handed me to XAH, the fox lord. XAH is part of my personal mythology, the core of my being, a fox lord, and yet so much more as well...He is not a being I've ever written about before...I've kept him secret over the years. I suppose it's appropriate he comes out now when I'm doing this work at the very core of myself. As soon as I was handed to him, I felt him take me into the center of my being, into the emptiness, with lots of potential, but also an aching sense of nothing...this which has prompted so many of my choices. I painted the elemental symbol of emptiness on my chest and then I felt JAH possess my body. I hunched down on my four legs, one eye open, the other closed, my mouth a rictus snarl...I felt him speak:

"I am the emptiness you fear, the emptiness you seek.

I am the mote of light in the darkness that shows so bright and entices so much,

but leaves you always longing for more.

I am the fox-lord XAH, I am the core of your spirit...melded with you since you were seven...you are mine now...for this year we'll get to know each other well, and see if we can't find some peace with this emptiness.

We sat down and he took my hand and started painting, the painting to represent his face, to represent his presence:

Today, my birthday, I'd told Lupa that I'd be going on a solo hike. I normally spend my birthday with her, but since this the element of emptiness, I told her she was free to do as she pleased and she opted for getting together with a friend. As I saw her leave this morning, I felt a sensation of abandonment and XAH stirred and grinning told me, "Return to Source"

I headed out to the Multnomah Gorge, listening to Current 93 and as I sang along with the songs, I felt XAH stir again and the energy within me seemed to focus on feelings of abandonment, guilt etc...reminded me of something I was told on Sunday, to let go of the guilt others had put on me. The abandonment is a core emotion for me. My earliest memory was of being given away to my dad by my mom, sometime after they divorced, and the theme of abandonment has played out numerous other times in my life. Realizing how tied abandonment has been to my feeling of emptiness was enlightening for me...it's a gateway emotion, but also a distraction from the emptiness.

When I got to Multnomah falls, I got my gear and started to hike. I'd actually had someone recommend a place with caves for today, but I chose where a lot of people went, because many of my experiences with emptiness have happened around people, the feeling of not really belonging, of having no connection with those people...so it seemed appropiate that a contemplation of emptiness in my life start in a place with lots of people.

As I hiked, I felt empty, but also felt emotions come up. Emotions of abandonment, not fitting in, jealousy, guilt, anger, hunger...all the emotions that signal emptiness for me. And I acknowledged these emotions and let them fall away, because again they were distractions...something to acknowledge, but also something that sometimes only allowed me to experience a surface knowledge of emptiness. As I hiked further in and dealt with emotions that came up, I also felt more and more comfortable with the emptiness. I came to a point, where no one was hiking except for me and I was in a place I hadn't been and I felt a great sense of contentment sweep over me and I felt empty and it was good...it was a state of profound observation and awareness, with no mental chatter. I looked around at the way the light kissed the trees and the ground, the way the wetness permeated the air and I felt alive, at peace, empty and free. I realized emptiness itself has never been the issue...it's been the emotions leading to it, the focus on negative experiences and the association that arises as a result. I continued hiking. XAH would occasionally make himself known to me, offering bits of advice or suggestions about where I could go. The gentle humor he offered, as well as the integration of our respective energies was quite comforting. I came away with a greatly enhanced appreciation of what I was experiencing. The emptiness was a place where no thought needed to arise, no emotion needed to be felt. You just experienced. I don't think I've ever felt as close to nature as I did today. The place I was in had a twilight appearance.

I eventually turned around and came home, but I felt touched in a way that is so silent, so graceful, so different from so much of my life. I think I will learn a lot this year.

Tarot Reading Experiments

If you've read Space/Time Magic, you know that my stance on divination is that it's best not to do it to determine what might happen in the future if you do a certain act. However, I also think reading Tarot can be much more subtle, particularly when it's focused on analyzing a current situation as opposed to trying to determine a potential future. When I do tarot readings for people, I ask those people to create their own spread. My reason for doing that is simple: I think pre-defined spreads limit the possibility of interpretation and may end up creating inaccurate readings. I prefer it when my clients create their own personalized spreads. A spread is a pattern, a way of interacting with the world, and a personalized spread is more effective because it shows the client's thinking process and also helps the client understand the reading.

Another way I experiment with tarot readings is to make sure the client doesn't tell me about the question or situation. I prefer to not know because it forces me to really rely on my intuition and also is a good gauge for determining how accurate the reading is. If I don't know the question or situation, I can't read that into my interpretation...it ends up being more unbiased and consequently is more powerful and accurate...Not knowing frees the intuitive side and allows access to the super consciousness.

Over the weekend I found that my readings were very accurate. Each time my clients were amazed at how applicable the cards and interpretations were, even though I didn't know much beyond the name of the person. The real test for someone who utilizes tarot cards or other divinatory devices is a test of not knowing and relying on intuition to guide you.

Elemental Love Work month 12

I wrote this poem on Thursday, in my live journal. I'm reposting it here, because it depicts part of the conclusion to the elemental Love work. The connection is what we want silver strands that glisten by the star light, whispering promises from the vibrations of the space/time wind The core opens to reveal the secret heart of the universe a path lit up by red lines of force the flames of the fox fire beckoning, and luring on those eager hunters of desire

Hourglass eyes witness the illusion of time, The spiderweb, wet with dew, promises a non linear story Truth, truth, truth...

Whirling fan over the light, a very tired person looks up spreads his arms, and journeys into the iridescent glow of promise. I see all possibilities in the quantum sea everything could, is, was, will do, but will any of it become?

I am also Empty...Reach in and pull the last out Everything is stripped away...she took me on she gave me surfeit her hand gentle on my cheek, while the other rips everything out.

Your illusions are gone, now what?

Now what indeed. It's month 12...The end of the year long elemental love work...The end of my working with Babalon, the sacred whore, the scarlet woman, she who takes on all, but demands the sacrifice of your illusions. Babalon has thoroughly fucked me this last year. At times she had been a gentle lover, at other times a demanding bitch. One hand has caressed me as a lover, while the other has ripped my heart out. And through it all, her scarlet eyes have looked into mine, holding me steady, urging me on, demanding the best from me.

I wouldn't recommend the element of love to just anyone. I think this year's work has been by far the most intense and demanding of all my magical workings. You have to be ready to sacrifice it all on the altar of love to experience the truths you will inevitably find about yourself, and if you get anything back, count yourself blessed, and recognize you also earned it.

This last month has been one of nostalgia, regret, and healing. I remember a year ago, I remember how desperate I was, how much I knew I needed to change, my patterns of love had grown very toxic indeed. I was a toxic bloom, everything on the surface, ready to be popped. I remember meeting a priestess of Babalon, and a relationship that didn't work out and being told, "This elemental love work has left bruises on my heart, your wife's heart, and your heart. Will it be worth it?" I remember bad communication on my part, an unwillingness to really be open or intimate and my journey throughout this year to learn how to do that, how to really open up, how to be vulnerable, how to be honest despite the fear. Honesty with others, but most importantly honesty with myself about my desires, my fears, and what has motivated so many of  my choices.

I remember other situations, other people, all the lies I told to myself, ripped away. And I remember a couple nights with Lupa, where I really opened up, where I told her things I had not told her or anyone else. I remember being honest with her in a way I have never been with anyone, and despite my fears, despite the ingrained responses and reactions that said to just hold it all in, to protect myself by never saying a thing...I spoke...I told her, I laid myself out and let her see the real me. And she accepted me...she showed me LOVE, even as Babalon has Shown me LOVE.

A couple weeks ago, I felt the weight of these regrets...My mind wandered through the past year, through the lessons earned, the people touched, the bruises left, especially the bruise in myself. And I felt Babalon stir beside me. She gave me a gentle look and parted the folds of my flesh, to the heart underneath, and instead of seizing it in her hand as she often has, she gently touched it, touched the bruise of my regrets, and she said,

"It's time to let this go. You've learned what you needed to from this. Let it go, so you can move on and let other people into your life and into your love when you're ready. You've learned the lessons I needed to teach you and I will always be here to remind you of them, and also support you as you continue your journey."

And she took those regrets away...the physical pain I felt in the hollow of my chest left me.

This last Monday, I was talking with Wes Unruh about language, magic, semiotics, and we got around to talking about Babalon and male magicians. He said that he didn't think a male magician came into his full power until he'd had an encounter with Babalon. He told me of his own experiences and mentioned that for about a year after his working with Babalon ended he had focused on the element of emptiness and on rebuilding himself...and I found great comfort in this, because it's another confirmation I made the right choices, and I'm on the right path.

I was asked earlier this year, if this elemental love work would be worth the bruises, and the pain. And my answer is yes. It is worth all the pain caused, all the pain felt. It is worth the pain I caused as well as the pain I felt. It's not that I wanted to cause that pain. It's not that I felt a secret delight. No...That pain is part of the process of life, of how you learn. I made mistakes, I came face to face with the reality of the effects of those mistakes. The regret I felt for the pain I caused was something that's haunted me for this last half year. And yet, that pain, for me, for them has the potential for growth. It's what we choose to make it...and so Babalon showed me I could let go, move on, heal...

Last year, I said to Lupa, I said to others, "All of the relationships I'm in now will be changed if I do this working." And everything changed for those relationships. Every single relationship I was involved in on a romantic level is now gone, accept the relationship with my wife, which has ended up stronger than ever before because we worked through our problems with each other and came to a deeper, more intimate relationship than any I've ever had, except for one. It's taken a lot of work and honesty on our parts, but here we stand together, stronger than ever...

And that one relationship which is deeper and more intimate...that's the relationship I have with myself. This year has forced me to know myself as I never did before, and this next year will take me even further, but I'm ready for that plunge. Babalon has shown me not just the truth of LOVE, but also that of Strength. The strength to forgive, the strength to let go, the strength to love, and the strength to learn. She showed me my strength, even as she took away all the delusions I'd told myself.

Babalon told me it would get harder before it got easier, and she was right. It got really hard somedays to wake up and face the reality of my motivations, my desires, my love or lack thereof. In April, when I walked around, desperately unhappy, desperate to fill something in me and instead walked home and told Lupa about my emptiness, about how empty I sometimes feel, that's when I started to really learn from this year's elemental working...that's when I came face to face with the underlying motivation for so much of my unhealthy behaviors. That's when I realized just how much my feeling of emptiness had so often motivated my choices to try and find something to fill it, instead of choosing to feel it. And now that I know that feeling...now I'm ready to accept it, to move into it and everything it has to teach me.

On Friday, I had some of my hair cut. Babalon spoke to me in a moment of shared love and lust, in a moment of ritual, a finishing touch. That night, Lupa massaged me, talked with me, reconnected with me about our love, about what we find so important and she cut my hair, part of my payment to Babalon. Below is a poem I wrote about Friday:

"You've still got to pay up the last bit for this year of companionship I gave you" She told me.

Her long black hair framed her face, cascading down her frame, hiding her body, leaving only the oval of her face her red eyes staring into mine a doorway into the abyss an invitation into Emptiness

As we fucked with wild abandon her hands touched my long hair and she said,

"Perhaps some of this... Cut some of it for me and also for the next element Cut it as an offering when you pass through the gateway within me and within you The gateway to the heart of the universe"

As we came to crescendo, She and I, My goddess of desire, her beast to ride, I felt myself swallowed into her. She whispered,

"Conjunctio, The joining of forces Your principle joined to mine, In combination we create the alchemical wedding Your sacrifice opens the gate that your seed might be consumed and you reborn in my dark womb of Emptiness Your potential realized in the joining of everything and nothing."

Later my body massaged with hands of gentle love and care, my hair brushed out, the scissors snap some is taken away "Taking a little, so a lot can grow back, so you can realize your potential" Caressed, loved, forgiven, your hands know my body I fall into the light of the quantum sea out of reality, into everything

Everything I am falling back to potential, In her hands I lay, in her womb I will be sacrificed The gateway is open, Conjunctio achieved Emptiness beckons It's a promise of potential I'll take.

"Your last price is paid, Your coin is accepted the gate is open, fly free my love fly free

When you come back reborn anew, you will really know me and my name.

And I whisper,

"Babalon, Great goddess, Sacred whore, scarlet woman, take me, take me, take my sacrifice and show me the door to conjunctio, show me the door to emptiness zero and one, everything and none, where potential awaits to sculpt, to show, to provide the pathway to the heart of the universe to the silver webs of time, and the purple halls of space"

And she rips away from me the last shred of illusion Her hand caresses my cheek one last time, her tears touch my face, She kisses my lips one last time, to steal my last breath Great Babalon has destroyed me.

And now... I'm free to arise. Elemental Emptiness show me the way, through the door

I am here, I am there I am everywhere, everywhen, all things and none, a whisper on the wind, the caress of a hand on your chin all realities within my eyes, I am reborn into emptiness... I am reborn to realize my potential.

Today, Saturday, I finished the Love working. I went upstairs, with the painting of the seal of Babalon, The beast dagger, the candle with her visage gracing it. I lit the sacred candle in my temple. I dedicated two posters of the mythos of Babalon as told by Oryelle Defenestate-Bascule to Her. I burned a bit of my cut off hair in the flame of the candle. I cut her seal into my flesh, her name into my skin with the tip of the dagger, tracing so delicately upon my skin the imprint of this goddess...

I sang her praise, I thanked her for her gifts, and then I asked her to take me through the portal to emptiness. I fucked her one last time, giving her my seed and then I was taken in hand by the entity who represents emptiness...But that story will not be told until Tuesday, when the dedication ritual is finished.

Farewell Babalon, sacred Goddess and sacred whore, my lover and destroyer.

The lyric below is from the song Here's to You by Lisbeth Scott. I removed a couple words, that aren't relevant to me, to this year's working...but the lyrics of this song, the song itself is a fitting end to the love working and the beginning of the work on the element of Emptiness:

Here's to you... Rest forever and ever... The last and final moment is yours. Agony's your triumph.

Here's to you, Rest forever here in our hearts. The last and final moment is yours. Agony's your triumph.

A bit of political pop culture magic

I'm not really a big fan of politics, but occasionally they can be useful. Tonight I was doing some public speaking and I decided to draw on a bit of the political energy currently pervading the U.S., carefully. I thought about characteristics that people rave about in regards to both of the candidates...One is calm and collected, the other is more emotional. Without drawing on the negative attributes, I focused on the positive attributes: I wanted to be grounded, but also have passion for what I spoke about. So I visualized those particualr resonances being incorporated into my speaking from each candidate. Basically I focused on the speaking profile each candidate had, but didn't focus on the political issues. Talk went off really well, with several people interested in following up with me.

A philosophy about people and magic

One of my philosophies when it comes to interactions with people and interactions with magic is fairly similar and based on understanding that the less complicated a situation is, the easier it is to navigate the situation. This isn't to say that magic and people aren't complicated. They can both be very complicated, but a situation, a context doesn't have to be complicated and ideally if you remove what you can that could be complicating in a situation, it consequently sets a person at ease, or in the case of magic, makes it much easier to manifest. I realized sometime ago that the best approach with people is to simply put all your cards on the table and show your hand. No subtlety, no hidden agenda...just lay it all out and let the other person do the interpretation as s/he wishes. Every time I approached a situation where I didn't do this, where I didn't just lay my cards out, it always complicated matters, because even though I might have no hidden agenda, the fact that everything wasn't on the table aroused suspicion and played out the worst fears the people might have.

By choosing to play my hand, show all the cards, be transparent, it simplified the situation. On the one hand it could be argued that the other people had control of the situation by simply knowing everything I had in my hand...and yet in that openness I find comfort...I am so comfortable because everything can be seen...sure it can be interpreted and likely will be interpreted through the biases and filters people have, yet nonetheless, in that openness lies freedom...It becomes an accepted reality, and whether anything is done with that reality or not, the situation is less complicated. The person or people know what's going on and it's up to them to make a choice...and whatever response is made by those people I already know what my conscious choice will be to that response. It both opens up and limits the field of possibilities. It opens up the field of possibilities in terms of displaying the entire spectrum of choices that could be made, but it limits the field because those choices are made in response to my choice to be open. I consider this a kind of time magic, and in fact using this example above you can apply it to the practice of magic.

While magic isn't always complicated, in those situations where it could be complicated, either by working with other people or with other entities, it's again best to be transparent...The consequent acts of magic, on your part, don't contain latent possibilities which could trip up the working. you can also use this philosophy in regards to doing solo workings. By being open with yourself, you admit where there could be flaws, subconscious issues, sabotage instincts or memories. You give them expression through being open and also take away the power they would have if they were latent possibilities...You limit your own response to yourself so that you can ironically be free to make a choice in the possibilities presented to you. The process of magic becomes much simpler once this is done.

In other news, Reality Sandwich published my article on Identity and Magic

Esozone

This year's Esozone has actually come together pretty good, which I'll admit I was a bit skeptical about. It still has a lot of the same energy as last year, but this year's incarnation is also its own being and it is an intriguing being. About my only complaint about esozone was that the scheduling could have been handled better, with topics spread out a bit more instead of grouped together, but for a second year, overall everyone really pulled it off. Let me break it down day by day. Friday

Friday's opening address was done By Wes Unruh, who did an excellent job of introducing esozone. I also got to meet Ben Mack in person, and we ended up getting into some intriguing discussions about marketing. Also Met Michael Skrtic, when Bill Whitcomb brought him by. I knew we'd get along well, when he said, "I want to talk to you about Space/Time Magic. You're the only other person I've encountered who's worked on those kinds of techniques" I also ran into Nick Pell, Edward Wilson, Nemo, Kara, Brian and many other people I hadn't seen in a while. The night itself was spent listening to the Pranks talk by St. Mae and St. Fox, the Forestructuring of 2012 by Clyde Lewis, and Trevor Blake's excellent lecture on Buckminster Fuller (Can I just say I love the sound of Trevor's voice...very melodic).

Saturday

I walked in on the esotech panel, which was pretty intriguing. They seemed to be focused on radionics technology. I listened for a bit while setting up my vending booth. After that ended I managed to get some books signed by Antero Alli, Edward Wilson and Wes Unruh, and Ben Mack, which pleased me greatly, on general principle. At 1pm, Antero Alli had his eight circuit lecture, which I unfortunately had to miss because I was also doing my workshop on Neuroscience, Identity, and Magic. Amazingly enough I actually managed to acquire an audience, and a decent one at that. My lecture was almsot two hours long and ranged from neuroscience, to lingusitics, to memory to memes and much more. For those who are interested, I'll be presenting an abbreviated version of it on Monday night on my radio show. After I finished my lecture, I got to listen to Rex Church's discussion about the Ragnarok Engine, which looks rather intriguing. I also saw Oryelle's conjunctio performance and ened up swapping books for one of his framed works and his book on time magic.

After all that, Lupa arrived and after we socialized for a bit, she did her workshop, which I attended for part of the time. Really fascinating discussion of 21st century animism. Afterwards, I listened to Dennis McKenna and chatted with various people. I've met so many people at this event that I hope to follow up with.

Sunday

Today was the day that wasn't as smooth as Friday and Saturday. The six hour lecture by Paul Lafolley, as well as a one hour workshop expanding into a a four hour workshop (I think he was trying to compete with Paul), made the day's offerings less dynamic than I hoped. I'd really wanted to hear Wes Unruh's workshop on cut-up, Edward Wilson's meme workshop, and Ben Mack's workshop on making an elephant appear in the room. This unfortunately didn't happen. I did get into a nice chat with Antero Alli and hope to speak with him a bit more tomorrow night.

Overall: Esozone was really good. It encouraged a much needed spirit of community in the occult community. I look forward to it again next year.

I did get some really good loot. Some art and a book on time magic by Oryelle, A book by Antero Alli on paratheatrical work,, a few cds I intend to listen to and one I'm listening to now from Hekate, and a couple of interesting magazines on fringe science. I also met a lot of really cool people and re-connected with others. Awesome time overall.

Teleclass or online course?

I've been thinking lately that it might be interesting to teach some online courses or do some teleclasses based on material I've written and taught in workshops before. Obviously if I chose to do this, I would be charging for the classes.  So let me ask you dear readers...Would you be interested in taking an online course or a teleclass with me? Such a class would likely be based off the current list of classes I have on the green wolf workshop page. If you would be interested, please comment. This will help me decide if it's worth my time and energy to put something together.

Article, Review of Magic Power Language Symbol and some thoughts on the occult culture

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Taking the Path of Least Resistance in Magic has been posted by the good folks of the Right Where You are Sitting Now Podcast. I'll be writing more articles for them in the near future and look forward to continuing to work with them. I think they're a really good crew of people. Book Review Magic Power Language Symbol by Patrick Dunn

Overall, I was fairly impressed by this book. I think Dunn does an excellent job of explaining a lot of the theories behind language and magic, as well as showing how theories can be made into practice. He explores concepts of gematria, glossalia, metaphor, semiotics and much more and in the process makes all the concepts approachable and easy to understand. In fact, I think that's the strength of this book. It's written so that anyone can pick up the book, read about the concepts, and put them into practice, though at least in the case of gematria, readers will probably need to have a decent familiarity with Quabala.

I also liked his explanation of the semiotic web and the Defixio. In both cases he not only explains the theory, but also provides personal anecdotes and suggestions for how the reader can incorporate those practices into his/her work. I think his latest book is a good introduction to linguistics and magic, and he provides the reader some other works to explore once they finish his work.

I did have two minor issues which made this book a four out of five for me. The fourth appendix of the book has a bunch of practical exercises for the book. It seems odd that the exercises are placed at the end of the book, instead of incorporated into the book. I'm not sure if that a decision of the publisher or the author. The other issue is that while he does cover a lot of the connection between linguistics and magic, he doesn't cover much of the contemporary work occurring with linguistics or magic. He dedicates only a small section to the contemporary work. That said, this a good primer for linguistics and magic and how the two disciplines can be brought together. I recommend it to anyone who is interested in branching outward from more conventional approaches to magic.

Some Thoughts on Occult Culture

I was at Conflux this weekend. I had a good time, but while there I did a lot of thinking about occult culture and my own place in it. I've written in this blog, previously about my disillusionment with the occult culture, and yet I can't really say I'm disillusioned with occult culture overall. I think what it really comes down to is that I don't really feel I fit in with certain aspects of the occult culture...the aspects focused more on spectacle and image and performance. That's actually one reason I might not do Esozone again. While I'm looking forward to presenting my workshop there as well as meeting up with some people, I look at the program and I honestly wonder how much of what I'm teaching really fits with the overall theme. It's not that my work isn't focused on the other tomorrow...rather it's that I don't really relate well to the culture that has sprung up around esozone. I recognize it's occult culture of some sorts...I'm just not sure it's my occult culture.

But I've also been recognizing that there is an occult culture out there that I identify with and lately I've been starting to reach out to that occult culture. Not surprisingly who I'm reaching out to are people who have similar feelings of disenchantment with the direction occultism seems to be going in. They want something different, something more substantial, while also something that isn't so rooted in the past that it can't evolve. Lupa's suggested I try and find people I can work with who could develop some system or tradition...I don't know though...I'm mixed about that and yet I'm not...because I have a vision in mind...it just has to be with the right kind of person involved and I'm very picky with people, for a lot of reasons, which essentially boil down to being burned too many times by people I expected otherwise of. To work with someone in person would involve a lot of trust on my part (as well as theirs). Do I think it could happen? Yes...I know it can, because I actually am working with two different people closely, but it still comes down to finding the right fit, and if something actually develops in my immediate environment it will be with a small group of people initially.

And then too, I've increasingly been getting involved with other subcultures and the more time I spend in them, the more convinced I am that something really has to change with occult culture overall. It's not that these other cultures are better perse...it's just that there's something happening in them that I don't see as much in occult culture...what I see in other subcultures is less insularity, more communication and networking, more looking our for each other and supporting each other. The other day, a person who wanted to come to esozone and needed a place to crash and posted about it on an occult forum got no responses. I finally messaged her, because I really didn't want to see someone not taken care of...I wanted I suppose to reach out to this person looking for community and provide something of that to her. I suppose what I'm looking for is something of a tribe of sorts, or a system wherein we look out for each other. Lupa and I, have opened our doors a fair amount to occultists coming through Portland. I expect this will continue...I believe in hospitality, plus it's always good to get a chance to talk shop.

I have a vision of an occult culture and I think it's possible to make it real. The non-fiction line of Immanion Press is part of that vision made manifest...and it's time for more of that vision to be realized.

Magician's Reflection and The Pop Culture Grimoire is here!

I'm pleased to say that we now have copies of the Magician's Reflection by Bill Whitcomb and the Pop Culture Grimoire anthology, edited by Me available. If you've pre-ordered, we'll have copies out to you by Monday at the latest. Needless to say I'm very happy these books are out.

Several experiments in linguistic magic

Since starting to read Magic Power Language Symbol by Patrick Dunn, I've decided to try out a couple of his techniques, particularly the Semiotic Web and the Defixio technique, albeit with my own variations. The semiotic web technique is actually similar to my space/time sigil web technique. The essential difference is that you create two webs. One web is filled with the negative feelings, thoughts etc you might have about a situation. The other web is filled with conscious answers to those negative thoughts and feelings. I decided to try this technique out in regards to some negative thoughts and feelings that I was dealing within regards to my current job search. I wrote job hunt at the center of the web and then wrote all the negatives out. I then wrote job hunt again and all the conscious realizations I had about those negatives. I then took the two webs upstairs and called the Dehara into a circle and did a ritual to Agave the Dehar of banishment (and to me, also creativity, cause he's a dehar of fire and I associate fire with creativity). I took the negative web and burned it, and ended up having to slap some of the fire out, which put me into an altered state of mind quickly. I then meditated on the positive web, picturing it in my mind and integrating it into my altered consciousness. When that was done I thanked Agave by taking the ashes outside and offering them to him. I'm already noticed a more positive frame of mind about all my activities. I liked this technique. I plan on seeing how I can expand and improve on it...already have a couple ideas in mind for how this technique could be adapted for some space/time workings.

The Defixio technique involves writing out a statement of purpose and then offering it to the gods. I decided to try this, but offer it to the goddess Portlandia. I wrote my statement out and then put in the recycling bin, because Portlandia cares about recycling, and also because I want the message to become part of the natural cycle. I don't know how often I would use this technique, but it also could have some creative applications depending on which deity you worked with and how said deity wants you to deposit the defixio.

In thinking about these exercises, something which stands out to me is that there is a lot of room for creative touches, and we also have to remember to be creative. This is true for any technique or process...and by creative I really mean making a technique or process into you own process...into something that is personalized and works for you because it has an efficacy designed in the personalization of the technique. Personalization, to me, is a process of experimentation, and also a process of improvement. How do I make this process fit into my practice? How can I improve on it so it's even more effective for me. Granted, there's some techniques, which seem to be done just as is, but with writing you can be creative and that's why language is such an important tool of magic...it's open-ended and writ large with possibilities.

Some further thoughts on language and magic

Something I've been mulling over and discussing with a few friends is how concepts and practices of magic could be written about with as little jargon as possible. I recently just finished reading Aaron Hoopes book: Breathe Smart, where he does an excellent job of demystifying how to breathe. Instead of relying on far eastern terms and descriptions he boils the concepts down to fairly plain English, so that any person, regardless of background could pick up his book and read it and do the practices. I find that interesting and important, because I think that if the discipline of magic is to continue to progress or evolve, making it less jargon heavy as well as explaining the benefits of it will be a necessary step. While the fairly obvious use of language is to communicate, another less obvious use is the ability to obsfucate language, to utilize jargon so that only certain people with access to a discipline's discourse can understand it...in essence creating an elitism through language. You see this a lot in academia. Those who cannot master the discourse are weeded out. It doesn't necessarily mean a professor is smarter...s/he just knows how to jump through the hoops for that particular discipline and is very specialized.

On the one hand, I think this can be necessary with occult practices. My book are intentionally written to be a bit harder to read...I consider it a protection mechanism, in that it insures that if a person doesn't understand what I'm writing about s/he can't hurt him or herself. On the other hand, I also think being able to write about certain practices and techniques without jargon can be a useful exercise for a writer and also useful for helping people understand the benefits of particular practices. For instance, learning how to breathe properly doesn't have to be very mystical...it is, in fact, very relevant to each person's life. My point is that while there can be some value to jargon and technical terms, there is equal value in finding ways to write about a practice so that anyone could do it. I think language can provide the means to do that, but it also involves unlearning the jargon and to soem degree the expected discourse.

A book update

The radio show on language and its connection to reality is now up. But that isn't what I'm really excited about today. For the first time in...a while, I've been going through the material for my next book. I have three appendices and Eight partial chapters. I'll be adding some material in today and also taking what I have and deciding what fits into my upcoming workshop at esozone, Which will focus on the intersection between neuroscience and magic.

For me writing is a very particular process. I'm one of those people who won't write a book until I know I have enough research and experimentation done to justify putting a book out there. It always feels good when I can finally get to the moment where I can say: Yes I'm ready to write. I'm not there, but I'm much closer and the fact I can add more notes to the growing mass of book I want to write has me in good spirits about the development of not only the book, but most importantly the techniques and process I'm developing.

I do consider writing to be a magical process, and one of the more potent techniques a person can use. We see it put to good (or bad) uses every day. I've used writing to steer the direction of my life as well as imprint on myself actions I can take to manifest particualr goals. I've used collages to bring people into my life and set the tone for specific months. I think writing and language will always be an essential tool and expression of people. I don't forsee that changing anytime soon, and hope it never will change.

Radio show update and the next issue of silverstar is out!

Tonight I will be doing a show on the power of language from 9pm pst to 10pm PST. Listeners can call in at 646-652-2830. Also next week's show will be on the Competition Blues and ways to deal with competition as well as how to make your competition work for you. The latest issue of Silverstar magazine is now available. Features some excellent articles as well as some book reviews, including Multi-Media Magic by me!

Book Reviews and a meditation on Emptiness

Book Reviews: Grammar for the Soul by Lawrence Weinstein While not a typical book that one might associate with spiritual techniques, this book proved rather intriguing because the author examines how punctuation, tenses, clauses, passivity, etc is used in language to communicate and also empower an individual. As someone who consistently is interested in exploring the connection between language and spiritual techniques, I also found this book useful for considering how I could not only improve my writing, but also improve the efficacy of my magical workings when it came to using language.

Each chapter is only a few pages long, but the author manages to include a lot of information as well as samples for how grammar can be used to empower and communicate, as well as create personal change. The author's narrative is friendly and approachable. I didn't feel lost in a sea of grammar rules. If anything, I felt that I could easily navigate grammar's laws and use them to my benefit, both for my writing and my sense of self.

If I have one quibble with this book, it's that the author didn't include exercises for the reader. While the examples he used were illustrative of how to improve one's writing skills as well as how to use writing to effect personal change, the lack of exercises can keep the reader from realizing the book's full potential, unless they are already active writers. That said, I'd give this book a 4.5 out of 5.

Book Review: The Mind and the Brain by Jeffery Schwartz and Sharon Begley

This book was probably the most fascinating book I read about neuroscience and that's saying something since I find all of them fascinating. In this book the author explains neuroplasticity and how it continues to work in the brains of an adult as well as a child. The author also reviews many of the neuroscience experiments and projects done by various people as well as how those projects have confirmed the efficacy of mindful practices in controlling our habits and thoughts.

What I found really fascinating was how the author's work with OCD patients help them overcome that affliction by learning how to rewire the thought patterns. Equally interesting is the focus on how we can deliberately change our brains not only to heal, but also to continue sharpening our skills. For people interested in the intersection of neuroscience and magic, this book is a must read. 5 out 5

*******

A Meditation on Emptiness

Last night, while at the Deacon X fetish event, I again felt myself feeling empty...I think it was a continuing realization that with everything going on there, I had a sense of loneliness, a sense of not feeling satisfied...a realization, again, that this emptiness is not something that can be cured by the presence of anyone person...that it is something that can be ignored or sometimes not felt, but it is still a fundamental part of life. I felt a moment of anger and frustration...part of me wanted to walk out and just keep walking...but instead of doing that I sat down, and start a Taoist breathing meditation, opening myself up to that feeling of emptiness, accepting it. As I breathed I circulated my energy into that feeling of emptiness and felt my emotions swirl into the energy until I felt very calm. And I felt the emptiness reach out and start teaching me something I could do with the circulating energy to not only calm myself, but direct the emptiness I felt. I directed it into my hands, which I would later put to good use at said event ;)

Still what I came away with is that emptiness can be worked with...not just felt but worked with, which will make the oncoming elemental year very interesting indeed.

Want to actually do this, not just read about it?

How Magic Works is where I teach how to take a desire from intent to an actual result, step by step. Start the class →

Not ready to buy anything? Why Your Spells Don't Stick is a free guide to the most common reasons a working stalls, and where to start fixing it.

If you want help with a specific situation, work with me one to one.