Why pop culture deities and spirits are viable to work with
Elemental Balancing Ritual Stillness Month 10: Tension
7-27-15 Today I was meditating on tension I was feeling and it became very clear how the focus on tension really distracted me from being still or being present with my whole being. I could feel that tension take up everything, occupying my mind entirely and yet I knew it wasn't the whole of my existence. Sitting with that awareness helped me step back from the tension and realize that my identity didn't have to be defined by it and that I was allowing it to define my sense of awareness and being moreso than it actually might be.
7-30-15 I had a realization today about how I handle closeness with people. I only let people in so far before I start to push them away. It's a fear of abandonment. I'll abandon a person before they abandon me. Looking back on my history of relationships, familial, romantic, and otherwise, I see where I felt I was abandoned and consequently how this pattern developed out of that as a response to possible rejection. Nonetheless it hasn't helped my relationships with people in the past. I do feel I've changed it somewhat and I know that because I've let some people into my life enough for them to at least be some what close to me.
8-1-15 A long. hard conversation with Kat this morning really helped me appreciate on a deeper level how my issues have hurt the people in my life as well as appreciate how stillness is helping me go deep into those issues and see them from new perspectives. I can be an asshole sometimes to the people in my life and I really own that in a way I haven't before. Thankfully I am with someone who is willing to give me the benefit of the doubt and stick it out with me, even when I have made some hurtful choices. And I see how in making those choices I have sabotaged myself with her and with other people...but I also know I can take control or I can be defined by my issues. I'd rather take control and become a stronger, better person for it.
8-9-15 The qualities you want to embody are already within you. That's what Dzogchen offers in regards to working with a quality you want to cultivate. You aren't cultivating, so much as finding it, because its already within you. In my work with stillness, I've been realizing that in going deep within myself I can find my inner resources to draw on. They are already there. I don't have to look elsewhere. I think that in finding and working with the concepts and practices of Dzogchen, I've found a path of internal work that has allowed me to go further than I ever have in resolving my issues. And in stillness I'm finding clarity about who I am and who I want to be.
8-13-15 When I feel scarcity I feel tension and so I've been paying attention to that tension, acknowledging and then letting it merge into the wholeness of my being. This seems to be helpful because it causes me to recognize that the tension is just a moment, as opposed to all of me and that the moment will pass. It's not my identity. In Awakening the Luminous Mind, the author discusses how the tension is the pain mind and that pain mind is a distraction from being present...however to deal with the pain mind, you have to accept the pain, and care for it. You need to not judge it. I've always been judgmental of myself, but I'm finding that just being with the pain is helpful for coming to a different place with it, one where it doesn't occupy my thoughts, but instead is just part of me without encompassing me.
8-19-15 Sometimes I feel envious of some of my fellow authors. They understand the business of selling themselves and their products and services better than I do. I have written more books than most of them, but they've leveraged themselves as a business better than I have. Erik, my astrologer, told me that one of the reasons I'm here is to learn about business, and I am. It's a struggle sometimes. I see what other people do and it seems to come to them much easier. Some of it, I think, is that their writing is focused toward a wider audience that wants the traditional magical material. My writing is focused on edgier topics, with more of a niche audience. I see that with the response and lack of response that occurs around the topics I post about. When your writing is on the edge you get challenged more, either out of skeptical disbelief or envy on the part of other part for not thinking of it first. Still all I can do is keep learning the lesson I am learning about business and being a successful author. I've stumbled a lot on this journey, but I keep picking myself back up, determined to succeed.
8-20-15 One of the ways I'm learning how to work with tension is recognizing the importance of not acting on it right away. Yes I feel it and I hold space with it, but before I do anything else I just let myself feel and wait before I make a choice. I give myself time to fully get to the heart of it and then make an informed decision. To often, in my past, I've just reacted to tension and more often than not I haven't really liked the consequences. I let the tension define me, instead of defining it...now I'm defining it.
Pop Culture Magic 2.0 is coming out in September
I'm pleased to announce that Pop Culture Magic 2.0, will be published in September. It is available for pre-order now and here's why you want to pre-order it:
- You get a personally autographed copy from me when you order it.
- I'll send you a pop culture magic e-book free when you pre-order (this only applies until the book is released!
And of course you'll get the book which has content and ideas about pop culture magic you won't find anywhere else. Pre-order your copy here.
Some Thoughts on Devotionals
The other day my friend Kelli taught a class on Daily Devotionals. What fascinated me about it was the process for coming up with a devotional and why you'd even want to. I'll admit that my approach to magic is fairly technical at times, but there's still a spiritual dimension to my practice. I have entities that I commune with each day, but what this class challenged me to was find a way to connect with a specific entity more intimately. I decided to match this work up with a problem I have sometimes, which is writer's block. I actually have recently reconnected with a Goetic Daemon I've worked with before: Ronove aka Ronwe, who, amongst other things, is proficient in language and writing.
The other day I was feeling a bit blocked with some writing I wanted to do, so I composed a devotional on the spot to Ronove, raising him and asking for his aid to inspire my writing. Right after I did that, the writing became much easier to do. The block just seemed to go away. I haven't done the devotional since, and I don't feel that Ronove is really looking for that. If anything, what I like about it is that its a devotional for a specific situation so I won't use it all the time, but I will use it when that situation occurs.
This makes me think that it might be useful to come up with devotionals for specific situations that match the skills of the entity you are working with. The impression I have from Ronove is that he'd rather have a devotional from me in a moment of genuine need than to just have one for the sake of having it. I'll have to see if I get a similar feeling off of other entities I work with, as it applies to given situations, but I like that approach. Mind you, I'm only applying this to myself, but I think when situations come up that I need help with, I'll develop devotionals for the situation. I'll change them each time as well, because I think the spontaneity of such a change is useful as well. It shows the deity I'm working with that I'm willing to make an effort on my end, which is significant in its own way because if you're going to ask for help, why not show what you can do as well?
Book Review: Aion by Jung
Aion is a continuation of Jung's work in psychology. He explores the role of symbols in archetypes and how symbols are used to creation connection with archetypes, as well as exploring different aspects of a person's sense of self. I found the book to be useful for understanding Jung's contribution to psychology and why his work has continued to be significant. If you're interested in psychology or just want to understand Jung, this is a good book to pick up.
Water Breathing Meditation part 2
Water Breathing Meditation part 2
Process of Magic Round 14 starts September 9th
The Process of Magic Round 14 starts September 9th.
Magic is a process that changes you and your relationship with the world, if you understand how the process works.
In this 24 lesson class, we will explore what the process of magic is and how it applies to you and your magical work. If you're looking for a different perspective on magic that explores the underlying principles of how magic works, instead of focusing on the tools, ceremonies, and other optional features, this class is for you. You will learn how to:
- Develop your own definition of magic and why its important to have your own definition.
- Use a process approach to magic to understand how it works and what you change.
- Personalize your magical system to improve its efficacy in your life.
- Understand how to fix mistakes in your magical workings.
- Achieve a new understanding of magic and its place in your life and work.
Whether you are just learning about magic or have been practicing for years the Process of Magic course focuses on what really matters: Learning how to use magic to proactively improve your life. Below is a testimonial from one of my students:
The Process of Magic class really helped me to define what magic is to me and why I was sometimes having a difficult time getting results - and helped me to understand why I got results when I did! The classes lead to some very introspective, and sometimes uncomfortable, moments; but it has helped me to become a better, more aware, magician. The addition of the in-person teleclasses adds a very useful dimension to talk through any concerns and challenges with Taylor and my fellow students. I'd recommend this class to anyone who is interested in doing effective magic.
Testimonial from Victoria aka Leona Oigheag
Who should attend this class?
This class is for Pagans and Magicians who are serious about improving their magical expertise and who want to understand how magic works from a practical perspective. If you are an armchair magician, then this class isn’t for you.
When does this class meet?
This class is a correspondence course, which means that I'll mail lessons to you each week.
Bonuses
When you take this class, you get the following bonuses:
- Access to an online private forum that is specifically for this class.
- Free Teleconferences every other month to discuss the material directly with me!
- Free MP3 Recordings of conferences.
- A Free E-book copy of Creating Magical Entities.
- Two bonus lessons.
How to Register
The investment for this class is $100. If you've been wanting to understand how magic works or how you can achieve more effective results, this class is for you.
The Balance of Power
For my fun reading, I've been reading some Star Wars Fiction lately. The other day I was reading Visions of the Future by Timothy Zahn, and in it the characters Luke Skywalker and Mara Jade have a conversation about power versus guidance as it applies to the Force. Luke has been cutting back on how much he uses the Force, trying to rely on himself more and Mara points out that the resultant clarity he's gotten has occurred precisely because he's balanced the application of power. The Sith always use the power of the Force to excess, which is why it burns them out. Reading this got me to thinking about my magical practice and how its changed as a result of a similar realization I had years ago.
When I first started practicing magic, I used it for pretty much every problem I encountered. In fact I did that for about a good decade or so into my practice. A problem would come up, and inevitably I'd utilize magic to "solve" the problem. I enjoyed doing it, enjoyed seeing what I could do with it. But then something changed. I'd always integrated meditation into my practice, but I began doing a lot more internal work and I saw how much my practice was really reactive. A problem would occur and I would react to it. And what I didn't see was how many of those problems were similar to each other, nor did I acknowledge the one constant in those problems: Myself. Doing internal work helped me take a step back and ask myself what I really wanted from my magical practice and from myself.
Over the last decade and change, I've taken a different approach to my magical work. While I still occasionally utilize magic to solve problems, overall my focus has really been on doing the necessary internal work I need to do and as a result the need to do magic to solve problems has exponentially gone down. The majority of magical workings are proactive, focused on achieving specific designs or experimenting for the sake of learning something new. The power is there, but it is focused in a different way. And if anything I've found that by doing internal work and ironing out my issues, I've actually empowered myself in a much deeper way. I'm coming into my own as a person and my actions are guided by an awareness of who I want to be, instead of just reacting to my issues and whatever external variables have come together.
There is something to be said for approaching situations and seeing what you can do to resolve them without magic, or better yet to take a proactive approach with your magical work and create by design what you truly want. But I don't think you can really know what you want until you've stepped back and examined your choices and behaviors and discovered the patterns that speak to the tensions within you that need to be resolved. That's kind of self-discovery takes time. I only really started in my mid twenties and now in my late thirties I can still safely say that I have a ways to go, though I do feel more clarity in my choices and decisions than I previously had.
A measured approach to magical work, as it applies to practical changes, is wise to take. Ask yourself if you really need magic to resolve a situation or if there are other ways to handle it. And ask yourself what you really want out of the situation. Knowing what you want will help you pick the best process, magical or otherwise. It also help you knowingly accept any consequences and proactively plan your life to to help you achieve what you want. If you need to employ magic, you'll do it in a manner that fully respects the power of what you are working with, but also your power as a person.
Magical Experiments podcast: Interview with Laurie Pneumatikos about the Left Hand Path and the upcoming Left Hand Path Consortium in April 2016!
In Praise of Agares
I praise Agares,
Justice Bringer
protector
balancer of scales
you who makes situations equitable
and create solutions
that work for the benefit of all
while ensuring that the unjust
the prideful,
those who look down on others
are humbled and brought to their knees
to know their true place.
I praise you for your protection,
your strength, and your guidance.
This devotional was inspired by the recent class taught by a friend. It's also an offering to Agares for his continued support.
Why divination can be a form of enchantment
Why divination can be a form of enchantment
The Tenets of the Sorcerer Scientist
Lately I've been thinking about my approach to magical work and experimentation. I commented to Kat the other day that I am not someone who is focused on one tradition or spiritual path and I don't think I ever will be. I think of myself as a sorcerer scientist (fittingly enough the term comes from pop culture, specifically fantasy books). While I certainly have a background in magical practices, traditions, etc., I'm at the same time fascinated with contemporary disciplines and how those disciplines can be meshed with magical principles. This prompts a lot of my experimentation. So I've decided to come up with tenets that describe the sorcerer scientist, because I feel that in describing it, not only can I help myself better understand my own spiritual path, but also speak to those people who feel similar and don't feel they fit into conventional occultism. To do this, it's useful to define a couple of terms.
Magic: Magic is a methodology of manifesting a specific possibility into reality using specific techniques that help the person connect the possibility to reality. Magic is also a means for communing with the universe as well as entities that exist on other planes of existence, in order to either better understand the universe or in order to get help with turning a possibility into reality. There are a variety of magical traditions and practices that can be learned and experimented with.
Science: Science is a variety of contemporary disciplinary practices that provide specific perspectives for understanding the universe. For example, hard sciences such as biology or Physics provide perspectives and critical inquiry into the nature of life or the "rules" for how the universe works. Soft sciences such as culture studies or psychology provide insight into behavioral patterns and cognitive activities. There are a wide variety of disciplines that could fall under this term of science, including what people might traditionally consider art. For all intents and purposes, the sorcerer scientist recognizes that the categorization of science is used as a way of recognizing the integration of contemporary disciplines into magical work, as opposed to defining what disciplines could be considered science or art or whatever else.
The sorcerer scientist is interested in the techniques of magic and the disciplinary practices of the various sciences and how those techniques and practices can be melded together to enhance the ongoing work of the sorcerer scientist. The sorcerer scientist isn't interested in using science to explain what magic is, but rather s/he is interested in exploring what magic could be. The tenets of the sorcerer scientist are as follows:
1. Cultivate an active interest in various disciplines, both occult and otherwise in order to see how they can be merged together. The experimenter recognizes that having a broad foundation informs and inspires the magical experimentation s/he does.
2. Keep an open mind about what you learn, but also use critical inquiry to refine your work. Ask questions and examine conclusions carefully.
3. Experimentation is essential for the evolution of magic. Respect tradition and learn from it. Research in order to ground yourself in what others have done. Experiment to find out what you can do and get your own answers about yourself, life, the universe, etc.
4. Be your own authority. Create your own definitions. Work with others, but recognize that what they ultimately can offer is just their perspectives and experiences. You still have to come up with your own answers, and your own questions.
Introduction to Water Breathing Meditation
An introduction to water breathing meditation and how to do it.
Stillness and Tension
In Awakening the Luminous Mind, the author discusses how the tensions and blockages a person feels aren't the entirety of the person, but can be mistaken for such. He likens this experience to the clouds and the sky. The clouds are the tension or blockages, but the sky is encompasses them and exists with or without them. He suggests that instead of focusing on the tension and blockages, it can be useful to just still yourself and be aware of the tension, without necessarily doing anything. This is not easy to do. When I tried this and just stilled myself to just be with the tension as well as everything else, I became aware of how much the tension itself occupied my awareness.
I find that in a lot of internal work the immediate focus is to do something about the tension one feels. And this is not necessarily a bad thing, but if that becomes the entire point of internal work, it could be we are missing out on something significant: namely how to recognize that the tension and blockages are not the entirety of our being. When I do this meditation where I am just still present with myself as a whole, it is somewhat disconcerting to not do anything with the tension other than notice it. At the same time in becoming the sky, as it were, I'm allowing myself to recognize that my tension doesn't make up the entirety of me and could in and of itself be a distraction from working with stillness. What I'm learning with stillness is that it's a state of acceptance that doesn't necessarily involve a change of any type and so learning to be still with my tension and with the rest of me is a different sate of awareness than working on tension. It is a state where everything is experienced and let go of, without anything being done.
Doing internal work to dissolve tensions is essential, but cultivating this state of being is also useful because it brings with it a level of non-attachment that enables the acknowledgement of whatever issues you have. By stilling yourself and not ding anything at all, you don't become attached to the issues, even through the act of dissolving. Initially when you cultivate this state of stillness it may cause you to feel a bit disquieted because you are so aware of your tensions and yet are doing nothing. However if you can hold yourself in the stillness, you will find that your awareness of the tension does subside. It may take repeated attempts of working with the stillness, but try each time to become the sky as opposed to the clouds and eventually you'll find that you can hold the state of just being without doing anything, the state of awareness of tension and yet also no tension in other aspects of yourself.
What I feel I'm really experiencing is a state of balance. In stilling myself in this way I'm allowing myself to balance my awareness of tension with just being and using that balance to reach a place of stillness. The usefulness of such a place is that while no action occurs, it nonetheless enables a person to experience a state of awareness that is at one within and around the person. That state of being can be very useful for magical work or in general in terms of creating awareness and presence in your life. As I keep working with this concept I'll share more.
Magical Experiments interview with Brandy Williams about the Woman Magician.
Manifesting Wealth Teleclass happening tomorrow
Manifesting Wealth is about discovering the opportunities that are waiting for you and turning them into realities that manifest the life you want. In the advanced manifesting wealth teleclass, you'll learn what wealth magic is and how you can use it to manifest a life of wealth and success, as well as how to create an identity and plan that proactively supports that manifestation in your life. These principles of magic can fit with any spiritual tradition, while allowing you to enhance the effectiveness of your magical work, as you apply it to your life. You will learn the following in this class:
- What wealth is and how to define it in your life.
- Why its important to develop a plan and identity around your wealth.
- How to implement practical wealth magic principles.
- Why love and health are part of wealth magic.
- How to apply wealth magic to your career or business.
- How to use scarcity to manifest wealth.
- Plus, Plenty of time for YOUR questions!
Wealth magic is about manifesting a life of quality and success and the people around you. By learning how to apply wealth magic to your life, you can make changes that allow you to get the life you want. When you take this class, you will achieve the following benefits:
- Discover what wealth truly is for you and have a plan to achieve it.
- Workshop your wealth magic practices with me to discover how to improve them.
- How to turn scarcity and failure into your allies.
- How to discover opportunities and turn them into reality.
Who should attend this class?
This class is for Pagans and Magicians of all spiritual traditions and esoteric orders who are interested in learning how to apply wealth magic principles to their lives and businesses to generate success and happiness for themselves. If you are an armchair Pagan or Magician, then this class isn’t for you.
When does this class meet?
This is a teleclass that meets on Thursday July 30th from 7pm Pacific Standard Time to 8:30pm
Meet the Teacher
Hi, I’m Taylor Ellwood, occult author, magical experiment, and Esoteric books publisher. I love to share my expertise, knowledge, and process with you! I’ve been teaching classes on magic since the late 1990′s. What I love about magic is the endless possibilities for experimentation and process development, as well as how those possibilities can be integrated into existing magical practices!
When you take this teleclass, you'll get the following bonuses:
- A recording of the call
- A free e-book with articles on wealth magic by me.
What is the investment for this class?
The investment for this class is $49. To rsvp for this class, click on the paypal button
Pop Culture Magic 2.0 is now available for pre-order!
I'm pleased to announce that Pop Culture Magic 2.0 is now available for pre-order from my publisher Immanion Press. The book itself won't be published until September or October, but once it's available my publisher, or I will ship re-ordered copies to you. Below is the blurb on the book as well as the cover! In Pop Culture Magic 2.0, Taylor Ellwood explores how pop culture magic has continued to evolve. In this book you will learn how to make any pop culture into pop culture magic as well as why you might want to. You'll also learn how pop culture is becoming the mythology of our time and how older mythologies are showing up in contemporary culture. If you've wanted to practice pop culture magic or are just curious as to how magic and pop culture go together this book is for you. You will also learn:
• How to work with corporate entities in pop culture magic • How to develop your own system of pop culture magic • How to integrate social media and modern technology into your magical practice. • How to use contemporary holidays in your magical workings • How role playing games can help you with your identity work • and much, much more!
If you've wanted to integrate contemporary culture into your spiritual work, look no further! Pop Culture Magic 2.0 can help you develop a modern system of magic that is relevant to you and allows you to take the pop culture you love and turn it into a spiritual practice that changes your life.
To Pre-order your copy today, click here!
Introducing William G. Gray's writing
I share some of the books by William G. Gray that I've found useful in my spiritual work:
Feeling, Language, and Internal Work
In Ensouling Language, the author shares that one of the problems of the English language is that while it's useful for analytical and technical writings, its not a language that explores feelings or the internal reality of a person. For example, the word love is used to describe a feeling that can have many types of variations and yet only one word is used to describe all of that. In other languages you will likely find multiple words that describe the types of relationships and the feelings around those relationships. The author shares that when words can no longer describe subtle experiences, those experiences become lost or at least relegated to the subconsciousness of the person. I think he's right, because in my own internal work, what I've found is that the subtler experiences are harder to explain because English isn't set up to describe such experiences. I've wondered why, in this particular way, the English language is so stunted.
My answer to that question is that it seems that English is more of a visual language, in that it is oriented to what can be seen as opposed to felt, heard, smelled, etc., and that consequently part of we lack is a sensation rich description that accurately describes what we experience. Feelings aren't focused on as much. The problem with such an emphasis on sight is that a lot of subtle experiences can be missed out on because what you see is what you get. In my own work, I've shifted away from visualizations to more sensation based meditation, in no small part because there is a depth that can be useful in internal work, when it comes to experienced altered states of consciousness, and/or working through blockages and tensions.
In Awakening the Luminous Mind, the author discusses the importance of opening yourself to being by feeling it. It's not something easily described...it has to be experienced. That experience can be freeing or limiting depending on what you focus on, but I think it is can be harder for people who's primary access to describing feelings is a sight based language. There is a richness in stillness, in holding space, in terms of the experience that is essential to internal work, but can be harder to work with you if you don't have a way to describe what you feel.
Now it could be argued that trying to describe internal work takes away from it, but I don't agree with that. If anything, I feel that being able to describe what you've experienced can help you integrate it into yourself on a conscious level. We don't want states of experience to only exist on the level of the subconscious, but rather want to be able to engage them in our consciousness. That engagement is defined in part through language, and how we use language to integrate and organize the experiences.
While I find that English is problematic as a language for describing internal experiences, it's nonetheless the language I've got. And part of how you take such a language and improve on it is through learning to really focus on the sensations you feel and then describe those sensations using words that are sensorially oriented toward the sensations. For example, as I touch the keys on this key board, I feel the conclave smoothness, the slight edging of the letters and the edges of the keys as they slope upward. Such a description is more oriented toward the sensation of touch. Learning to do this with physical sensations can lead us to descriptions we can work with in describing internal states of consciousness and consequently help us get more from the internal work we are engaged in.
My latest podcast interview is with Shauna Aura Knight about Social Justice Magic and Pagan Leadership.
Manifesting Wealth Teleclass happening next week!
Manifesting Wealth is about discovering the opportunities that are waiting for you and turning them into realities that manifest the life you want. In the advanced manifesting wealth teleclass, you'll learn what wealth magic is and how you can use it to manifest a life of wealth and success, as well as how to create an identity and plan that proactively supports that manifestation in your life. These principles of magic can fit with any spiritual tradition, while allowing you to enhance the effectiveness of your magical work, as you apply it to your life. You will learn the following in this class:
- What wealth is and how to define it in your life.
- Why its important to develop a plan and identity around your wealth.
- How to implement practical wealth magic principles.
- Why love and health are part of wealth magic.
- How to apply wealth magic to your career or business.
- How to use scarcity to manifest wealth.
- Plus, Plenty of time for YOUR questions!
Wealth magic is about manifesting a life of quality and success and the people around you. By learning how to apply wealth magic to your life, you can make changes that allow you to get the life you want. When you take this class, you will achieve the following benefits:
- Discover what wealth truly is for you and have a plan to achieve it.
- Workshop your wealth magic practices with me to discover how to improve them.
- How to turn scarcity and failure into your allies.
- How to discover opportunities and turn them into reality.
Who should attend this class?
This class is for Pagans and Magicians of all spiritual traditions and esoteric orders who are interested in learning how to apply wealth magic principles to their lives and businesses to generate success and happiness for themselves. If you are an armchair Pagan or Magician, then this class isn’t for you.
When does this class meet?
This is a teleclass that meets on Thursday July 30th from 7pm Pacific Standard Time to 8:30pm
Meet the Teacher
Hi, I’m Taylor Ellwood, occult author, magical experiment, and Esoteric books publisher. I love to share my expertise, knowledge, and process with you! I’ve been teaching classes on magic since the late 1990′s. What I love about magic is the endless possibilities for experimentation and process development, as well as how those possibilities can be integrated into existing magical practices!
When you take this teleclass, you'll get the following bonuses:
- A recording of the call
- A free e-book with articles on wealth magic by me.
What is the investment for this class?
The investment for this class is $49. To rsvp for this class, click on the paypal button
The Elemental Balancing Ritual Stillness Month 9: Scarcity
6-26-15 I've been continuing to read the book on scarcity and examine my own life in relationship to it. Something which struck me about it is how one aspect of scarcity is trying to do much at the same time. I've always been a workaholic, always working on multiple projects and I realize as I read this book that it has sometimes diminished the quality of my happiness because I've had too much going on and consequently haven't felt like I could focus. I've lately been divesting myself of some of what's kept me busy and the resultant feeling of time has been really nice. I've been able to focus more on the projects I rally want to work on instead of feeling like I'm giving my time away to someone else.
7-1-15 I had a realization recently because of the actions of another person. He was trying to get me to react to him by tagging me in a rant he was making and I realized that his rant was coming from a place of scarcity and it was a reaction to his various issues (and there are many). And I realized that he was trying to get a reaction from me, trying to put me into a place of scarcity because of his own scarcity. Scarcity begats scarcity...Reaction begats reaction, unless...you recognize it, recognize the blinders, the tunneling and step back and make a different choice, an objective choice. In this case, I realized this person wanted me to react, wanted drama because he's always needing attention from other people. So I stepped back and really looked at the situation and decided not to play in his sandbox of drama. I stilled myself and allowed the stillness to give me clarity so that whatever movement I make is one of proactive choice instead of reactive scarcity.
7-3-15 I've been feeling introverted the last couple of days. Part of it is the summer heat, which just makes not want to go anywhere and part of it is that Kat's away on a trip and so I'm not feeling social and just soaking up the alone time. Part of me wonders if I should try and go out, but sometimes what I enjoy the most is the chance to just be still and right now I have the opportunity to do that and let it pervade my being.
7-4-15 I feel lonely today. Undoubtedly part of it is the holiday and the fact that my sweetie is abroad right now, but it feels uncomfortable. So I'm sitting with it, holding space with that feeling and not acting on it reactively. Being still like this isn't comfortable, but it is revealing and I take the insights as valuable gifts I can draw on in my ongoing work.
7-8-15 Being minimalized by another person is an experience that is deadening. So often what I observe is that a person wants to be listened to, but doesn't want to listen and this is where communication breaks down. A moment of stillness can make a difference for the clarity it brings. Stop and ask yourself am I listening as ell as talking? And am I considering as well as asking to be considered?
7-14-15 In Awakening the Luminous Mind, Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche, uses the metaphor of the sky and clouds to describe how to hold space with your tensions. He urges the reader to become the sky, which isn't concerned if there are or aren't clouds, but simply is. In meditating on what he wrote, I came to a recognition that sometimes I've focused so much on 'letting go' of tensions and internal blockages that I haven't been fully present with them and consequently have become more attached because I haven't simply felt them. In fact to truly let go of something is to intimately feel it and be present with it, without becoming attached to it. You become the sky and you know there are clouds but they don't define you. Sometimes I really struggle with being present with my pain. It's easier to think about it or to fool myself into thinking I've let it go, but when have I been present with it?
7-17-15 In my stillness work, I've been focusing on just being and being aware of internal tensions without doing anything to them. I'm not trying to dissolve them or change them. I'm just holding space with them. It feels disquieting at first, but as I settle into the emptiness it just becomes part of the background. They are part of my space, but just part of it and any significance they have is given to them by me and my choice to make them more important. And this doesn't mean some dissolving work shouldn't occur, but I feel that in learning to just be still, it allows me a chance to not do so much as be, which doesn't come naturally to me, but can be helpful.
7-19-15 To feel recognized and vindicated is a wonderful feeling. I felt it today, reading the article on the Wild Hunt on pop culture magic, and seeing my work recognized and seeing a level of positive interaction about that work, which I've seen more and more of in the last couple years. To experience that recognition and know I've earned it...it feels really good...a moment I can enjoy and savor.
7-21-15 Relationships of any type bring with them constraints and limitations. I used to rail against such constraints and limitations, afraid in part of how I felt when I allowed someone to become close to me. And sometimes I still struggle with that aspect of a relationship. Whether its a friend or lover or what have you, being in any relationship does bring with it some type of limitation. It's not a bad thing either, but rather a recognition that choosing to be with someone requires a person to change in some ways. The acceptance of limits isn't inherently bad or good...its what you make of it. I'm learning to accept and work with that in a way I never did before...in part because the stillness work is helping me to really ground myself in what I have in my life, instead of just restlessly moving from one thing to another.
How I use sound in magical work
How I use Sound in my Magical work
Stillness in Space and Time
One of the practices I associate with space/time magic that other people have shared is how they've created a distinct space separate from mundane reality, in which to do magical work. Now, it could be argued that casting a circle is exactly that, but I'm actually referring to techniques specifically designed to remove a person from their participation in space and time. One technique that both William G. Gray and R. J. Stewart share involves using sound to create a sphere of art. The practitioner vocalizes the vowels O A I. Each vowel is associated with a form of stillness. The O stills your sense of time, moving it from a linear perspective to a holistic, cyclical, spiral perspective. The A stills your sense of space, expanding it from a contracted linear experience to an expanded non-linear awareness. The I stills your sense of movement, getting you to slow down and just be with your expanded sense of space and time. Doing this technique shifts you from linear time and space to a rarified sacred time and space.
In Dzogchen, the cultivation of Zhine, a meditative state of stillness, leads to a similar state of awareness. As you still yourself and your thoughts, you enters into a place of hyper awareness that goes beyond the physical and ventures into the spiritual, or at least I do. In Zhine, I feel as if I can see all these possibilities around me. the goal isn't necessarily to do anything and it could be said the possibilities are a distraction, but experiencing them is similar to what I experience with the OAI.
I find it interesting to examine these two techniques which are distinctly different from each in terms of how the state of stillness is reached, as well as culturally, and are also different from each other in terms of the desired result. Yet nonetheless it seems that both of these techniques take a person to a similar state of consciousness. However with that said, I think its important to honor each technique and so when I do Zhine work and cultivate stillness, I'm not necessarily doing it to access possibilities so much as be present with them. And when I do the OAI and set up the Sphere of Art I'm doing to commune with my spiritual contacts and sometimes for the purpose of manifesting possibilities into reality.
Stillness plays an integral role in my space/time work. It's within stillness that possibilities can be fully explored. Stillness is the 0 of space/time, the potential for everything. The potential of stillness is changed when you chose to manifest a possibility. At that point you shift from stillness into movement, for movement is what is needed to turn potential into reality. Yet I would argue stillness is a profound state and that what it can teach us is the importance of not taking action too quickly, but instead really being present with the possibilities and exploring the consequences and results of realization. By learning to still ourselves, we expose ourselves to the gift of making a choice from a place of proactive awareness instead of from reaction. When you are ready to move, you move yourself knowingly, to achieve results that are consistent with what you want for your life, as opposed to just solving a problem that has come up in your life.
Magical Experiments podcast Interview with Sara Star about Kitchen Alchemy and traditional witchcraft.