I've just set up my own youtube channel for magical experiments. I'm posting the first video here, and I'll be posting more as I continue to develop them.
Upcoming radio show on Creating Magical Entities
On Saturday I'm doing a radio show on Creating Magical Entities. Comment below with questions you have about creating magical entities and I'll answer your question on the radio show.
Changing what you've learned
I recently finished reading a lot of Mantak Chia's works and implementing the practices into my daily work. I do find the practices useful, even if a lot of his books are repetitious. Even with that repetition, what I did get was a better sense of his process and how it works, as well as how to cut out a lot of the extraneous features, to still obtain the same result. Seems to me that's really how magic works. You figure out the process as another person describes, then you cut out what doesn't work, add what does, and work it. Certainly, I can appreciate that how Chia has presented his techniques work as they are, but I also could see where a couple steps could be dropped entirely to refine the process and still get the same result. And that shows me that any process isn't set in stone, and is always mutable. It's just dependent on whether or not the person feels confident about changing the process.
What do you think? How comfortable are you with changing what you've learned?
The book game
I read an interesting post today on rune soup about the book game: You pick ten books that you'd have a person read in order to create a specific "type" of magician. So, because I'm in the process of going through all my books, I thought I may as well do the same myself, only in my case, it would be to create an experimental magician. My list doesn't include any references to the sacred cows of occultism, because as I found myself, years ago, it was going off the beaten track in reading as well as practice that really allowed me to challenge the usual concepts of magic.
Book 1 Magical Ritual Methods by William G. Gray
In terms of thoroughness and ability to describe magical processes, William Gray is one of my favorite authors to read, and best of all the doesn't just stick with describing tried and true ideas, but offers his own ideas on subjects ranging from space/time magic to the role of symbolism in magic to elemental work. This book grounds the reader thoroughly in magical processes while also challenging the reader to think outside the box.
Book 2: Initiation into Hermetics by Franz Bardon
Initiation into Hermetics is another favorite book of mine, because the author challenges the reader to practice magic. To truly comprehend the book, you actually need to practice the techniques. At the same time the techniques are open enough to be experimented with, which makes them most efficacious.
Book 3: Relax into Being: Breathing, Chi, and Dissolving the Ego by B. K. Frantzis
The experimental magician needs to balance external work with internal awareness. The practices in this book focus the magician on cultivating more self-awareness, while also breaking down unconscious triggers and blockages.
Book 4: The Job: Interviews with William S. Burroughs by Daniel Odier
This book teaches the experimental magician the essentials of Burroughs techniques, and also shows them the value of unconventional approaches and thinking about magic.
Book 5: Watchmen by Alan Moore and David Gibbons
I've gotten a lot of ideas out of this graphic novel that pertain to magic. Moore and Gibbons pulled off some very interesting ideas and presented some useful information that can be applied to magic, provided you are willing to use the concepts in that way.
Book 6: Multi-Media Magic by Taylor Ellwood
Yes, I've included one of my own books and why not? in this one you get exposure to pop culture magic, but also some space/time concepts and even the proto theory I'd developed around identity and magic. It's a useful introduction to my previous works and definitely fits the spirit of the experimental magician.
Book 7: The Magician's Reflection by Bill Whitcomb
This is an excellent reference and resource guide for anyone who wants to develop their own system of magic. Since ideally the experimental magician wants to do that, this book would be perfect for providing some ideas.
Book 8: The Possible Human by Jean Houston
The only one of her books I actually liked, it presented a lot of ideas around space/time, inner alchemy, and other concepts that I think would be highly useful for the experimental magician to draw on. Definitely a resource book I still use.
Book 9: Real Magic by Isaac Bonewitz
Another of my favorite books on magic. Bonewitz's painstaking efforts to describe and define magic are useful in terms of getting a better understanding of magic and what one can do with it.
Book 10: The Apophenion by Peter Carroll
I like all of Carroll's works, but his latest one is useful for demonstrating how to create a system of magic around a concept. The experimental magician will find the ideas useful for space/time work as well as playing with the concept of chance.
So those are my ten books I'd recommend for the experimental magician, just starting out. They aren't all on the beaten track of occultism, but they all provide unusual insights and challenge conventional definitions and approaches to magic.
Disillusionment and magic
Recently a friend of mine has mentioned that she's been going through a period of disillusionment about magic and that everything she tries to do doesn't work. And whether she realizes it or not, she's not alone in feeling this way. I've gone through my own feelings of disillusionment about magic several times. The first time was disillusionment with the occult subculture and the second time was personal disillusionment. Undoubtedly I'll probably experience such disillusionment again. And my conclusion about this is that actually such disillusion is healthy, even if at the time it doesn't feel that way. Each time I experienced disillusionment about magic, I ended up working through some serious doubts about the magic, but importantly about myself as a person. When we feel those doubts it can be hard, because we question everything, all our decisions, and we wonder, am I really doing thing, or am I deluding myself? But asking these questions also forces us to really evaluate the choices in our lives, the value of our beliefs, and even if the people in our lives are the ones we really want in our lives.
A crisis of faith is healthy because it forces us to stop taking our beliefs for granted and really dig into the core of those beliefs. The disillusionment I've felt has made me question why I believe what I believe as well as whether or not its really good for me to have those beliefs. And when I've come through it, I've felt a stronger connection to what I believe, and a better understanding of the place of those beliefs in my life.
What about you? Have you felt disillusioned and how have you dealt with it?
Is magic anecdotal?
In my previous post about scientizing magic, one of the commentators inferred that evidence regarding magic and specifically spiritual entities was anecdotal and as such is not verifiable data. I disagree with that claim. Any magical working, including working with spiritual entities, involves a process. That process can be replicated by other people, which means it can be tested and verified by other people. Even putting that aside, if there are multiple anecdotal sources its rather cavalier to dismiss that evidence as unverifiable and unprovable, simply because that evidence doesn't fall into the scientific process. As is, open any book on magic and you will find that there are processes that can be replicated by other people, and as such results that can be verified by multiple people, if they choose to do so. As such, claiming that magic is only anecdotal data is a bit fuzzy, especially if other people can replicate your process and verify whether it works.
Magic isn't science, but magical practices can be verified by being tested. Obviously people wouldn't practice magic if they weren't able to get something out of it, but they also wouldn't be able to share their processes and practices if magic was only anecdotal. There would be no way to verify that magic worked if there weren't processes that could be replicated by other people.
technology and magic
My apprentice recently told me that wanted to learn technomagic and I asked her to tell me what that is. Now before any of you leap in with an answer, I'll tell you that I asked her because I wanted to find out what she thought technomagic was, and also what she thought technology itself was. I've noticed that when most people think of technology, they usually think of computers or some other form of I. T., or perhaps mobile phones with mobile applications. In fact, it seems for something to qualify as technology it has to has operate on batteries or electrical power and do some kind of computational activity. Now I know that actually technology doesn't have to be a computer or mobile phone or even need to have electrical power to qualify as technology, but it seems to me that when people about technology the focus is on the electronic as opposed to anything else.
My definition of technology is that technology is any tool that makes a task easier to do than would occur if a person was only utilizing his/her hands, or feet. For example, a shovel is technology according to my definition. I could dig at the Earth with my hands, but they would get sore quickly, and I probably wouldn't be able to dig very far. A shovel, on the other hand, is technology that enables me to dig the Earth much more easily than just using my hands. The shovel is a tool, but its also technology.
Any tool that can be used to make a task easier is technology. And technology is important, if only because it makes our lives easier. And if we look at the process of magic, we will find that there is generally some kind of tool that is used to aid in the realization of that process. The tool could be a sigil, a staff, an athame, or it could be a form of contemporary technology, such as a computer or a mobile phone. But a tool is only effective when you actually know what you using it for. Just having technology doesn't mean anything, unless you can actually meaningfully integrate it into your process.
Technology is an aide, but its not the magic itself. Technomagic, which could be argued to integrate the latest forms of technology into magic is only useful if you actually understand what you will use that technology for and how that technology will interact with the process you use to work your magic. In and of itself technology isn't inherently magical. What makes it work as a magical tool is two things: 1. The meaning invested in utilizing it as a magical tool. 2. The understanding of how the tool will actually be used in your process to make the process work. These two factors need to be considered with any kind of technology, in order to make the technology an effective part of your magical process.
The psychologizing and scientizing of magic aka "Prove it"
I've been reading some different posts in the blogosphere about magic, psychology, and atheism, and I've been mulling over my response to what I see as a trend toward trying to psychologize and scientize magic in order to make it legitimate, at the expense of writing off other perspectives that aren't rational and thus don't fit in a neat little scientific box that can be conveniently labeled and explained. I mention Atheism, because I've noticed that most of the posts have been written by atheists. And just to be clear, I don't have anything against atheism per se, but I do have my own perspectives and observations to offer, which run counter to their perspective. There's this prevailing attitude that believing in gods or spirits as real entities in their own rights is out of fashion and not really tied into the experience of the numinous and that it's to perceive them as psychological constructs or archetypes that can be interacted with as metaphors, but not treated as real entities. And that may work for some people, but I think that when you exclude the possibility that such entities could be real, you also exclude some possible avenues of manifestations. I wonder how much the denial that an entity could be real is based in trying to find comfort that such beings are just psychological constructs as opposed to real entities that could effect a person's life.
It seems to me that by psychologizing magic, it makes the entire experience into a mental masturbatory routine, with little substance to add beyond mental confirmation of one's dysfunctions or lack thereof. By trying to explain a magical experience or result as a psychological or even psycho-physiological result what avenues of possibility are being written off because they can't be explained or if they are it's written off as irrational beliefs?
The effort that goes toward scientizing magic, ends up treating science as the holy grail that can be used to explain and categorize magic. Science is treated as an objective truth or knowledge that can be used to disprove the irrational aspects of magic, while focusing in on the privileged rational explanations, which usually tend to be focused on an anthropological or psychological explanation.
What's forgotten is that even science is a subjective experience. A theory in science is never considered 100% percent fact or true because scientists recognize that there can always be some information that's missing that would change our understanding and consequently disprove a theory. More importantly, however, and what is less acknowledged is that science is ultimately derived from human observation and experience, neither of which is objective. This means that any information we have is ultimately derived from a subjective experience that could be disproven at any time.
The on-going trend to scientize magic, to get rid of the irrational comes at a cost that is rather steep, in my opinion. It comes at the cost of utilizing non-rational perspectives, which while not rational, are nonetheless valuable because the suspension of disbelief can open doors that a more rational perspective would write off because it doesn't fit within a scientific or psychological explanation. The other issue that occurs is that magic is relegated to a mental feel good phenomenon, with no tangible results. It's something people do to find comfort, as opposed to being a methodology that produces real, tangible changes.
While I won't deny that a lot of where can magic occur is in the mental or conceptual phase, I will also say that I've manifested very real, tangible physical results for myself and other people that weren't just based on psychological or scientific perspective, but utilized non-rational perspectives as a means of accessing possibilities I'd have otherwise written off if I just relied on a psychological or scientific model of magic. I do find value in deriving some of my methodology from science or psychological perspectives, but I don't think they even begin to accurately describe, define, or otherwise provide a full and coherent explanation of magic, nor should they.
Also just because I rely on irrational perspectives and approaches doesn't make me any less skeptical. However I've found that such perspectives have proven themselves time and time again. Writing them off in favor of a rational explanation purely because that rational explanation says it isn't possible seems at best foolish and at worst dogmatic.
What it really boils down to is that while I my derive some of my techniques and methods from a scientific or psychological perspective, I wouldn't use either to try and label or define magic, because in doing so I unnecessarily limit what I can do. Likewise I wouldn't use magic to define or explain psychology or science because the magical perspective wouldn't adequately describe, define, or demonstrate a coherent understanding of such disciplines.
I recognize that for the atheist magicians these perspectives are useful for explaining magic, but I find their definitions to be rather dull and useless. There is something lacking in such approaches. I suppose they could say I was a superstitious fool, but magic will never just be in my head, nor will the entities I work with just be archetypes, and I'm perfectly happy with that perspective.
Process is not control
In a discussion I had with one of my students, I brought up the point that the process is not control. It might seem to be contradictory to say that and yet also say that when you know the process of how you do a given magical activity, you can then make changes to the process, but actually it makes complete sense. I'll explain why. The first issue to note is that for the most part control is really based on insecurities, on tension and stress that we don't want to feel and try to repress. Control, in most circumstances, arises from this stress, and we will act out that stress and tension re-actively as a way of trying to assert control of not only our internal awareness, but also our external surroundings.
However, control can be healthy, in a very specific way. Control is healthy when it is applied to a person's reactions and responses to a situation. While we don't have even complete control of our reactions, we do have some control and with conscious work we can acknowledge the triggers of those reactions and then make an informed choice as to whether or not we want to re-act or consciously choose. We can also modify the unconscious triggers, provided we do the necessary internal work. In that context, control is healthy. It becomes unhealthy when we try to control everything else, and creates blockages and tensions, because such control is usually indicative of unresolved issues.
The second issue to note is that in order to truly understand a process, you first have to submit to the process. You need to do the process step by step, and learn how it works. You can't change it until you understand it...actually you can try to change it, but the results are usually disastrous. So to understand a process you need to submit to it and do it. Only after you've worked in a process, and come to understand its mechanisms, can you begin to change it. Even then you don't control it, so much as you understand how it works, and so can see where you can make modifications to improve the process. We call this personalization, but the magician must still submit to the process to test its efficacy.
You might wonder then what the point is for doing magic, if you're not more in control as a result, but I'd argue that control is a fixation and obsession that tends to stay further out of reach when you try to grab it, as opposed to when you let go, trust your process, and work your system, as best as possible. The reality of magic is this:
Magic is one process, among many, with a variety of sub-processes that can help you balance your internal life, and provide you more awareness of possibilities in your life. It's up to you to make the deliberate and informed choice. A deliberate and informed choice can only occur when you actually understand yourself well enough to know if your choice is an automatic one based off unconscious triggers, or a conscious one based off awareness and understanding.
Let go of control. Process doesn't need to be about it. Process, instead, can help you make a deliberate and informed choice, because you understand how your process works and also your place in it. And making a deliberate and informed choice is more effective and powerful than trying to control everyone else and every situation.
In fact, if you find yourself using magic to solve situations that come up in your life, it's time to stop and critically examine what is calling those situations into your life. You will likely find that it is actually you calling those situations into your life, and usually because you need to learn something. So stop, examine the situation, own your feelings and responses, and then make a deliberate and informed choice on how to handle it. If that includes magic, then that's fine, but recognize how your internal issues feed into the situation, before using magic. Otherwise whatever results you get will only temporarily work, until you actually deal with your level of responsibility for the situation.
Trust your process and work your system...and make informed and deliberate choices. That can be the most powerful magical working you ever do, and it doesn't even need to involved anything overtly occult.
Does foundational work need to be done before experimentation?
I was asked this question by a reader by of my e-newsletter (Link to sign-up). When I first started practicing magic at 16, I didn't have a teacher. In fact, I self taught myself. Right from the beginning, I'd replicate the instructions on how to do different packages, from different books, but once I "got" the concept, I would start to experiment with the practices and concepts, to see what else I could do and also to personalize the practices to enhance their effectiveness in my life. I did and do a lot of learning of how other people approach magic. I think it's essential really, because you can't begin to personalize your own approach without understanding what other people have. This is why I emphasize having a broad foundation to draw on, so that way you get a variety of experiences and practices to temper your own perspective. But I also think that just sticking to what other people have said or done leads to stagnancy, so you need to be willing to test and experiment and personalize what you learn, and after a certain point, also depart from what you learned and actually develop your own practices, based off your own ideas.
Experimentation occurs alongside the foundation building practices. As you learn and practice a particular technique, think about how you can change it and adapt it. What would you do differently and why? Then try out your variation and see what happens. Respect the foundation, but test it as well.
Some further thoughts about process
In a discussion I had recently with one of my magical students I elaborated further on the difference between chaos magic and experimental magic. Chaos magic, aside from being associated with servitors and sigils, is also about paradigmal piracy. You determine what paradigm works for you, you adopt it for as long as it's useful, and then once you've gotten your result, you move on. Experimental magic, on the other hand, is focused on a more processed oriented approach and so recognizes that in order to really under a paradigm, system, methodology, or whatever word you want to use, you've got to spend time learning the system, learning how the methodology works, before you can really begin to use it successfully. Consequently process is built into experimental magic much further than in chaos magic. And, if anything, the issue with chaos magic is that while you might be able to get a result one time from using a system to address an immediate need, without fully understanding it, you can't really know the process or know if you'll get a result that meets your needs each time. That kind of understanding doesn't occur over night, or in a single working. It occurs over time, with study, practice, and yes experimentation. To really understand a paradigm of magic, it needs to be something more than just a convenience to be used because it fits an immediate need.
This is why I've never used Voodoun in my workings. Sure, I could pick up any of the books I have on it, sketch out a ritual and do something, but I don't understand the system enough to really feel comfortable doing that, nor do I really want to offend one of the Lwas just to get a result. If I really wanted to integrate voodoun into my magical practice, I would need to study it for a while, do rituals strictly in that system without integrating other practices in, and experiment within the process of that belief system. Eventually, if I knew about it, I could begin to incorporate external elements.
So experimental magic is less about rolling a dice and picking a spiritual system for a day and more about really getting hands-on experience with a given system, and process plays an integral role in that, because it's process you need to learn to really put it all together.
Some thoughts on Giving in magic
Recently I posted the following message to my Facebook and Twitter accounts
What are you willing to give in order to get what you want? There's always some giving involved in magic.
I received some interesting responses to it, ranging from the argument that sacrifice isn't a necessary part of every magical act to the idea of sacrificing unwanted ego complexes to the idea of swapping energy for energy. All of these were good responses and what I appreciated the most was the thoughtfulness that went into the responses.
My own take on what I wrote, with more of an explanation than 140 characters, is that within every act of magic the magician needs to give something in order to make the magic work. And what does that really mean? Magic doesn't happen by itself. The magician at the very least needs to provide a goal and/or vision with an accompanying action. There is always a purpose for doing magic, and the magician supplies that purpose via the goal or vision, as well as with some kind of action taken.
The action also can't be nebulous so the magician needs to provide some kind of structure in which that action takes place. The environment of ritual space for example may need to be constructed, or there may be a need to pick certain ritual tools that will be used, but even more important than all of that is actually determining what you will do, both magically and mundanely. And all of that is also an act of giving, because magic doesn't take place if you don't provide some form or process by which it can actually be worked.
And then there's the final point on giving, which will probably show something of of a less than contemporary attitude on my part to giving. If you choose to work with some external agency, what are you willing to give to it, in return for its aid? I know it's popular to believe any entity is just some kind of psychological construct, but personally I tend to think there's more to an entity than that. So when I work with an entity, I ask myself what I'm willing to provide. I don't see it as a sacrifice either, so much as an exchange of some kind. I want something, and I recognize I could use some help, so I go get that help and I offer something in return.
For some people, taking the psychological approach with entities seems to work, and perhaps in the end it,s all in my head, but I've found that erring toward my own conventions on giving and magic has worked really well. So it's part of my process.
What are your thoughts? Anything I'm missing or that you would add?
Process instead of results
For many magicians, my work still falls into the category of chaos magic, and so to them I am a chaote. I, on the other hand, disagree, because while there are certainly elements of chaos magic I draw on, I also utilize a wide variety of other systems. To which one might say, "Wait a minute Taylor isn't chaos magic all about taking different systems of magic and mashing them together and using what works to get achievable and demonstrative results?" Yes it is, and there's a very distinct difference from my own approach, because while I acknowledge that results are important, my focus is on process, specifically understanding how what I'm doing works and how to refine and improve it. Process is key to truly understanding magic. Results are just road signs showing you the way, but process is how you get there. Without understanding process all you have is push-button magic. You may get results, but just achieving results isn't enough. Process is how you refine and define those results. Process is how you experiment, instead of just doing magic. When you know your process you can change it, test it, develop it further. So while my work may seem similar to chaos magic, it's really not, because it's mainly about process, and less about results.
An audience with the Spider Goddess of Time
Today I decided to do a working with the Spider Goddess of Time. I've been working with the other entities for the element of Time, but hadn't contacted her since the first night I switched over to the element of time. I opened my memory box and used it to surf the silver web of time, to the center, which is where the Spider Goddess resides. Once there, she showed me a technique I could use to examine the weaving of the strands of time that connect me to different people, situations, etc., and how I could then edit the strands accordingly. I decided to then work with this technique, by looking at two different people I'm connected to and editing the strands of time. In one case it's editing the strands to factor in a change of relationship, so that the person will be more accepting of those changes, because the strands that previously supported a specific type of relationship aren't in place anymore to continue supporting it, due to changing circumstances in both our lives.
The other case was doing a working the strands of time for a friend dealing with some medical issues. In this case, the editing focused on editing out the cause of the medical issues, removing them from that person's timeline, as it were, so that they would no longer be an issue. I figure if there's no longer a temporal anchor for the cause of the medical issue, then the medical issue will no longer exist.
Since I did this just today, I don't know for sure if it's worked, but I'm fairly sure I'll know soon enough and I will be doing some more work with this technique, to experiment with and refine it.
Update on Laban and Space/Time Cellular work
I've been continuing to integrate Laban into my morning meditation/workout. I've mastered all the basic stretches and I'm now incorporating the dimensional movements into what I'm doing. I'm noticing subtle differences in my awareness of my body and how I move. My core is getting strengthened and my sense of balance is improving as a result. I've also found that Laban has helped me hit some useful meditation states, in terms of connecting with the consciousness of my body on the level of the body. However, I've also found it useful to continue pursuing my work with time and the body on the cellular level, with my meditations. Instead of trying to create a unified body consciousness with this approach, I've focused on simply interacting with each cell as its own consciousness, but also focused on working with the way they communicate with each other, with an emphasis focused on the cell's own sense of time (cells have their own internal clocks, which actually integrate into the overall sense of biological time). I've used this work to synchronize the internal time of the cells, thus far. There's more to be done, but that's where I'm at.
Curiousity is my main motivation for magic
I just got God of War 3 for the playstation. I haven't played it yet. I've been busy watching the two commentary films about god of war. Why? Because what always interests me about a game, book, experiment, etc., is what goes into the creation of it. God of War is so fascinating to me, because it's a modern retelling and reinvention of Greek myth, but it's also the technology and the explanations for the game design and why certain features were chosen that also interests me. I like understanding the process that informs the result, and feel that you can't really appreciate the result or understand it, if you don't understand the process that achieved the result. So I'm curious about process, and that's what motivates not only my interest in a game, but also my interest in magic. It's not enough to get a result. You have to understand the process, and to do that you have to be curious about the process and the elements that comprise it. I love learning about so many seemingly unrelated topics, because I realize they all do connect together inevitably. To only explore one topic or focus only on the result is to ignore the fundamental connection that informs the process and evolution of any discipline or practice.
Curiosity motivates my approach to magic, because I want to learn everything I can. I know I won't learn everything, but learning and connecting what I do, does provide new ways of thinking about life, magic, and manifestation. It provides inspiration and consideration, and thus new angles reveal themselves, new patterns unfold, and I understand magic and life in a new way.
Why I choose to use my name publically
When I was eighteen, I was outed from the broom closet by the parents of a friend. I remember coming home and being told by my mom that I had a half hour to either burn my books or move out. I had no job, half a tank of gas, and was in high school, so I opted to burn the books, though I hid the ones I hadn't read. I remember she even made me burn my books of magic comic series just because it had the word magic in it. I also remember feeling shame for my choice and a week later telling her that if she ever made me make that choice again I would disown her. Half a year later, still eighteen, I remember getting a phone call from one of the parents of that friend. He threatened to kill me and sang hymns, telling me how I was damned to hell for my beliefs. I told him I had a crossbow bolt for him and called the police. He didn't call after the police had called him, but those two experiences helped me realize something fundamental: Hiding my beliefs wasn't the answer. By hiding my beliefs I encouraged the very ignorance those people displayed toward me. I determined that I would never hide my beliefs. I wrote my books using my name, regardless of what professional or personal consequences might occur, because I knew that it was more important to be transparent than to hide what I believe because of the ignorance and fear of others.
Fast forward to the present. I am kinky, poly, and an occultist. I'm also a self-employed business and social media consultant. If you google my name you'll find a mixture of all of these realities in the search results. I was told recently by a business mentor that several people felt the dragon on my business site was occultish. I doubt they'd actually searched my name, but I recall telling her that if they were that freaked out by the logo then they'd be even more freaked out by my beliefs.
Ironically, perhaps, I've encountered people in the business world that have told me that they also practice magic...so perhaps my openness has encouraged them to be more open as well. What I do know is this: By choosing to be open about my beliefs I feel that I'm making a statement of integrity and hopefully educating the ignorant in the process that my beliefs do not destine for hell or make me an unsuitable person in any other way, shape, or form.
I will never hide my choices or who I am, to make it convenient for someone else. If you choose not to do business with me because of my spiritual and lifestyle choices, or choose to judge me because of your own inadequacies, it's not my problem. I cannot and will not lessen myself for any person or business just to coddle their sense of reality. I'd rather people accepted me for who I am, and while in the course of my business day, I don't blatantly advertise my lifestyle choices and beliefs, if the conversation comes up I don't hide it either. Because when we choose to hide, that's when we lose.
A reflection on God of War
I've been playing God of War 1 and 2 in preparation for the release of God of War 3, out later this month. There are two elements of this game that always stand out to me. First, just how much the game draws from the cheesy 1970's movies. Even the monsters look like claymation, which I personally think is cool. Having watched those movies when I grew up, I have a fine pop culture appreciation of what GOW is based off of. But the other element that always stand out to me is what I consider to be the extremely accurate depiction of the capricious nature of the Greek gods. If you read the myths about the gods, they as often punish as they reward and even the gifts they give are ultimately double-edged. For me, a game such as GOW is an opportunity to retell and reconnect with such beings.
And that is really the power of contemporary technology. It provides us new ways to connect with old paradigms, and at the same time births something new, which comes to be as evocative as what had already been there. It's not that GOW is a better version of the Greek myths (far from it) but rather a reinterpretation, with a new kind of interaction provided as well. And there can be something magic in that...all depends on the perspective you bring to it.
Tattoos as magical oaths
I was looking at the green wolf paw tattoo that I got shortly after Lupa and I got married. We're getting divorced now, but it never once occurred to me to get the tattoo removed. In fact, I intend to keep it, because it's a very significant tattoo to me, as are all my other ones. I consider my body to be the most powerful magical "tool" I have. It is a physical embodiment of my life, and a record of that living. When I get a tattoo on my body, I am placing a record of a significant even, entity, or person in my life, but also taking a magical oath in relationship to that event, entity, or person, as it pertains to my life.
My first tattoo is a red orange phoenix with my symbol on it. I got it to signify my choice to move from the East to the West, to signify a Rebirth in my life. It marks my choice to rebirth my life completely and its fair to say since moving to the West coast, I have rebirthed my life in ways I couldn't even imagine.
My second Tattoo is the Green Wolf Paw, with an L in it. It represents Lupa. I got it because I wanted to mark in my skin the permanence of my relationship with Lupa. While we're no longer romantic partners and will soon be divorced, Lupa is a significant person in my life. She will always be in my life, in some capacity just by the fact that we wrote a book together. I'm comfortable with that idea.
My third Tattoo is a Blue Dragon. The Blue Dragon represents PDX and Northern Oregon. It's a magical oath that signifies the recognition that Portland and the surrounding area is my home and a place I intend to live for the rest of my life. While I have admittedly not visited many other countries, I have been all over the US and this is the one place that has always felt like home.
My fourth Tattoo is a pair of eyes and a phrase: From 0 to 1. It represents the year of emptiness work, my connection with my highest self and my vow to recognize and appreciate emptiness, instead of trying to fill it. From 0 to 1 also signifies the choice to manifest possibility into pro-activity, instead of reactivity.
All of these tattoos are powerful for me. They are something I can't remove, because even if I did remove them, something would be left. They are a record of my life, but also oaths I've taken. I've only realized that recently in a fully conscious way, but this recognition speaks mindfully to me of the choices I've made in my life.
Working with Purson part 1
Tonight I did my first working with Purson, who is a goetic Daimon of Time, and is also the guardian of time in my elemental time work. I first asked Elephant if I could open the gates of time and space and he allowed me to do so. Then I called to Purson. I had the painting of his Seal on my right and the image of him in the Goetia on my left, with the Memory Box, in front of me. I placed my hands on the memory box, and journeyed into the spider web of time, where I encountered him. He was riding the bear and he blew his horn the silver gossamer strands of time vibrated in the sound.
He asked me if I understood the purpose of space and I explained I did, that each point of space represented a place, and that space itself was stillness not move. He told me then that time is the movement through space and that we move from space to space through time.
I felt a sense of movement in myself and he told me that was the silver strands of time. Each strand represents a multitude of possibilities, and when it is vibrated some of those possibilities can be accessed and turned into reality. That process occurs through the melding of the movement of time, to spacial stillness, which grounds the possibility into reality.
I saw then all these strands as webbing across spatial nodes, a spider web of time, where webbing could be sent in any direction to reach any nodal spatial point. Purson told me it was our linear limitations that made us think of time as a straight line, as a 2d experience, when it's really a multi-dimensional movement of possibility. He also told me that it was important to vibrate strands of time gently, not to force it, but rather to use just the slightest touch or sound, and then blew his horn to demonstrate, the sound rippling onward and onward and onward, never fading so much as changing our perceptions of it, because of how it changed the movement of time.
I thought then of Cerontis, my time entity and he said that what Cerontis did was act as a gravity well for the strands of time, directing them toward me. I had the perception then of these silver strands in my hands, wrapped around them, and that I didn't even need to move my hands to vibrate, but could gently direct my awareness to a given strand and start the process of movement that would generate the possibilities that I would want to manifest at a spatial node. After that Purson told me we'd work more later, but to meditate for now on what I learned and I realized as well he'd sent some of this information to me this past week, because I'd already been thinking along these lines, but now all the pieces fit together.