Call For Papers: Queer Magic Anthology

Please feel free to copy and pass this along to anyone or any community that might be interested... Call for Papers/Writers: Queer Magic Anthology…(title to be determined…)

E-mail for inquiries and submissions: aediculaantinoi (at) hotmail (dot) com; please put “Queer Magic Anthology” in your subject line.

Megalithica Books, an imprint of Immanion Press (Stafford, U.K./Portland, OR, U.S.A.) is seeking submissions for an anthology on queer magic and/or ritual.

For the purposes of this publication, “queer” is primarily defined as anything of a non-majority sexual orientation (e.g. gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, etc.), or atypical gender identity (e.g. transsexual, transgendered, intersexed, genderqueer, metagender, etc.). Other things may be part of the widest understanding of “queerness,” including relationship styles (e.g. polyamory, etc.) or sexual practices (e.g. BDSM, fetishes, kink, etc.), and indeed magic, occultism, and paganism themselves (since they are “non-normative,” which is an agreed-upon definition of “queer” within many academic circles), but the focus of this volume will be on queerness particularly as it applies to gender and sexual orientation.

This is not an anthology that is intended to be about “personal stories of the intersection of magical/occult/pagan/spiritual identity and queerness,” but instead about queer perspectives on magical, occult, and esoteric topics especially, but also possibly the impact of queerness on pagan or spiritual topics (e.g. theology). Further, where and when these topics of paganism and/or spiritual identity and affiliation might be addressed, this is not an anthology about “coming out spirituality” (e.g. the idea that it is okay to be LGBTQ and pagan/Thelemic/Santero/Hellenic/whatever/

&c.; “coming out” as ritual/initiation, etc.), nor should essays primarily be about how queerness of whatever sort gives one a better perspective or understanding on energy polarity or gender wholeness within any of these magical/occult/pagan paradigms (e.g. the idea that gay men are more naturally gifted, magical, or shamanically-inclined because they are more in touch with their femininity, etc.). The latter has been done to death already; the former is an important first step in these matters, but as with all Megalithica publications, the intention with this anthology is to go beyond introductory matters whenever possible.

Personal stories that are primarily about alienation from mainstream magical/occult/pagan circles because of one’s queerness are not the focus of this volume; if discussion of such is relevant to the wider aims of one’s essay, that’s fine, but having those wider aims is a necessity. If you want to do a piece on “queer love spells,” it would be better to address theoretical issues of how they’re different or in what ways their methodology is unique and presents challenges or enrichments, rather than giving templates or sample ritual/magical texts. Essays on how to adapt “non-queer” spells/rituals/practices to a queer context, or lists of correspondences and deities for particular queer issues, are not very desirable…unless they’re extremely innovative and unique!

Some particular issues of interest might include:

How does one’s queerness suggest different viewpoints on particular aspects, methodologies, or theories of magical practice?

Just as one’s queerness may give one more useful insights on some magical or spiritual matters, are there likewise blind spots that one’s queerness may cause, and how can one address those usefully from a queer perspective?

Are there historical precedents or particularly interesting figures in relation to queerness within one’s magical or spiritual tradition?

Are there any useful practices or texts from the past (e.g. the Greek Magical Papyri; mythological tales featuring queer figures; established traditions with queer themes; historical figures who were known to be what we understand as queer; etc.) which can be used today, usefully adapted, or mined for insights for use in the very different contexts of the modern world?

What are some magical methods or procedures that one might use to creatively deal with what are viewed as queer-specific issues, like homophobia/transphobia/etc., safer sex practices and education, forming and interacting with the LGBTQ communities, legal and political activism, LGBTQ rights and equality struggles, etc.?

Are there “pop cultural” and “multi-media” magical techniques (see Taylor Ellwood’s various publications for further ideas/information!) or practices that can be employed in interesting ways for queer folks? Ideas may include: use of personals websites/Craigslist for spell casting or divination; drag performances as aspecting/invocation; uses of cruising and the entire bar/club scene for ritual work (which can be rather edgy, and not always in a good way, but nonetheless it’s a possibility); using queer-themed literature and films as bibliomancy or interactive ritual texts/sacred drama (on the latter, think The Rocky Horror Picture Show as ritual/liturgy, but with other possibilities for the film that is the subject of the interaction); use of historical figures (e.g. Harvey Milk, Oscar Wilde, Gertrude Stein), living personalities (e.g. RuPaul, Ellen DeGeneres, Elton John), or characters (e.g. Valerie from V for Vendetta, Sterling [Patrick Stewart] from Jeffrey, Ennis del Mar and Jack Twist from Brokeback Mountain, etc.) as archetypes or spirit/deity-forms/egregores/etc. for queer magical/spiritual work; and so forth.

What are the challenges that can be encountered with the interactions of LGBTQ people and non-queer folks in magical/spiritual communities, and (most importantly) how can they be overcome creatively? What are the challenges that can be encountered with having interaction with a non-magical/non-spiritual person in one’s personal life as a lover/partner/relationship, and (most importantly) how can they be overcome creatively? (By “overcome creatively,” what is meant is anything non-manipulative, non-triumphalistic, and non-resentful that can be done to address and/or alleviate the issues in a situation—which is to say, specific actions, not adoption of attitudes or viewpoints that run the gamut of “try to be open-minded, understanding, and compassionate; deal with people on an individual and context-specific basis,” etc., as the main resolution offered. These should be things that are tried and tested, not theoretical matters. In this type of essay, of course personal experience and sharing of stories are necessary, but if the one you’re considering does not meet all of the above criteria, it will most likely not be considered for inclusion in this anthology.)

…And anything else you might think of which is innovative, interesting, different, new, unique, fascinating, scintillating, wonderful, and fabulous that involves queerness of whatever type, and its relation to and intersection with the practice and theory of magic, occultism, and paganism/spirituality!

Requirements for submission: Citations for all quoted, paraphrased, or otherwise unoriginal material Bibliography for works cited Format should be “Vancouver Style” footnotes—look it up if you are not familiar with it!

Do write in your voice! If you’re academically inclined or trained, feel free to be as intelligent and technical as you like. If your work entirely speaks in the first person about your own experience, that is also permissible, but please use a more formal writing style for as much as possible in one’s piece that is not quoted speech. Unless you do so sparingly, or define your terms (either in the main text or footnotes), DO NOT use lolcat-speak, text message speak, or anything else that could be considered para-English.

Rough drafts are due August 15, 2009. These drafts will be edited in a back-and-forth process with the editor. Essays should be 1500-4000 words, although if your work falls outside those limits, do submit it – we can discuss this during the editing process. Do drop us an email if you are unsure whether your idea fits into the content. The sooner you start the communication process the better, as after the deadline we won’t be considering additional ideas.

Compensation will be ($25) (paid via twice-yearly royalties from book sales) plus a free copy of the anthology when it is published and additional copies sold at 40% off the cover price to contributors. All contributors will be provided with a contract upon final acceptance of their essays, not when they are accepted for editing. If your essay is not accepted for the anthology, we will tell you after the first round of edits.

The anthology will be edited by Phillip A. Bernhardt-House. Phillip is the author of several articles (academic and non-academic) on religion, spirituality, mythology, theology, Celtic Studies, paganism, queerness, werewolves, and a variety of other topics, as well as a published poet, and is a Celtic Reconstructionist pagan and a founding member of the Ekklesía Antínoou (queer Graeco-Roman-Egyptian syncretist reconstructionist polytheism dedicated to Antinous, the deified lover of the Roman Emperor Hadrian). Phillip’s e-mail address for this anthology is aediculaantinoi (at) hotmail (dot) com.

Immanion Press is a small independent press based in the United Kingdom. Founded by author Storm Constantine in 2003, it expanded into occult nonfiction in 2004 with the publication of Taylor Ellwood's Pop Culture Magick. Today, Immanion's nonfiction line, under the Megalithica Books imprint, has a growing reputation for edgy, experimental texts on primarily intermediate and advanced pagan and occult topics. Find out more at http://www.immanion-press.com.

Further work with Elephant

Today I finally got around to doing further work with Elephant. I hadn't meant to delay it, but between the emptiness working and also some focus on other projects, it took a little while, but elephant stayed persistent with me, and seeing as I was home for today, he insisted I do some work with him. I found him on a plain and he told me to follow him. I started to walk, and then was picked up by another elephant and put on its back. We rode to a place, where I saw elephants of the present and also the past...He wanted me to see the elephants that exist now, but also the ancestors and I aksed him why. He said, it might give me some perspective on elephant and on animals in general. He then asked why I'd never done much in the way of animal magic. I answered that it never really occurred to me and he seemed to nod and said, "That's a typical human response. Your so caught up in yourselves, you forget about us, yet you've had a link to me for all of your life, and never thought to explore it until now."

He's right. I haven't really explroed that link. I have a fascination with elephants, but I don't think I've ever done much in the way of fleshing that fascination out. He pointed out that my memory skills and my ability to always find my way to different places in part was a result of that link and that he could teach me how to consciously draw on elephant as a totem, as well as use those skills better, but if he was going to work with me, he wanted to know what I'd do in return. So he gave me two conditions.

1. Spend some time learning about elephants, and what's happening with them in the world.
2. Start working with him more regularly.

He also told me that what he could teach me had definite applications across a variety of areas in my life, which I can believe. It does get me thinking how easily we take animals for granted, however. I've never done much in the way of animal magic, despite being married to someoen who is an expert in it, because of my own very human-centric point of view.

Half my life

It's April. Each year, in April, I remember when I first learned about magic, learned that it was real, learned that people practiced it, believed in it, did something with it. I was sixteen at the time. I was a born again Christian who was dissatisfied with the answers I'd gotten to my spiritual questions, as well as the rabid intolerance displayed by the other born agains. And as always I'd turned to my fantasy books, to read about other worlds, other lives, and most importantly the magic. One day, in April, this one kid sat me down in the school library and told me a story about how he'd astral projected and fought a demon. He was trying to freak me out, because he noticed I read fantasy books. So he was really surprised when I calmly told him to bring me books to read about this subject. He blinked, a bit surprised and then told me he'd bring them the next day. And he did. He brought a couple pamphlets about astral projection and magic. I devoured them within a day or so, eager to try out the exercises and begin unlocking the mysteries of the universe and myself. He was surprised at how quickly, how eagerly I took to the material and that weekend took me to the local new age shop, where I bought my first couple of books and started down my long road of magical practice. We became friends, and I kept reading and practicing, desiring both to be the best possible magician I could be, and also wanting to attain a sense of power in my life that I'd never really had before then.

Over time my motivation for practicing magic has changed a lot. Instead of trying to attain power or be the best possible magician I can be, I find myself in a place where I explore the spiritual questions, landscapes, and realities of magic from an experimenter/mystic's perspective...seeking not so much for self-glorification, but rather for increased awareness and appreciation of the connection between myself and reality.

And over time I've experienced a lot of disillusionment about the occult community and the various posturings I see within it, as well as the rather desperate need to be counter cultural and rebellious for the sake of being it, instead of offering any real solutions or efforts toward genuine change. I've become very selective about who I associate with and who I share a lot of my deeper work with. I've also learned that the best magical order you can belong to is the one you create yourself, even as I've also learned that I can be more a team person as it were than I used to be, but I also still prefer a lot of my solitary practices. And I've learned that any measure of success is ultimately subjective, and that the process speaks a lot more to my spirituality than any of my results have ever done. I'm on a journey, and it speaks for itself.

And now...I've practiced magic for half of my life. My practices have changed a lot. They are much more varied and deeper and far more focused on contemporary approaches to practice, as well as other disciplines. But still, each year, in April, I can't help but smile and remember that sixteen year old who discovered magic was real and started out on a journey which has brought him far more spiritual and personal satisfaction than any other prior spiritual exploration had. I've changed a lot, grown in many different directions, but there's still that part of me filled with wonder and excitement about at last discovering that magic was real! And I'm glad, even with some of my disillusionment, I can still find him after all these years.

Integrating concepts into your life through your subconscious

One of the skills I've picked up over the years is one where I integrate magical concepts into my life on a practical basis by imprinting those concepts into my subconscious and then allowing those concepts to integrate into my life via my actions and life occurrences. Sounds really similar to sigils, right? The main difference however, is that instead of focusing on a specific desire, what I'm actually focusing on is a concept that isn't focused on a desire, so much as it's focused on attuning myself to a particular energy or force. William G. Gray wrote about this practice in Magickal Ritual Methods, describing how you could take a ceremonial tool and imprint that tool into your mind so that you would then understand and embody the conceptual force that the tool as a symbol represented.

I've taken that approach and used it lately to integrate the Chinese Element model and classical Planetary energy model into my life. For example, I've worked with the planetary energy of mercury through my networking. By integrating that planetary energy into my subconscious, I'm using it to influence my conscious decisions when it comes to attending networking events. This kind of integration allows me to work with these types of concepts and energies on a deeper level, while also gradually aligning them with my conscious mind, for when I can work with them more overtly. And how I do this? I have a table of correspondences tacked to my wall that I look at each day for a couple minutes in order to imprint those correspondences on my mind. I've found it useful for not just memorizing, but also integrating those correspondences/concepts into my life, so that I'm more open to their influence in my daily activities.

An encounter with Elephant and Apophenia

Today Lupa and I went to the Portland Art Musuem and at one point made it to a floor which had some Art from different parts of Asia, including India. Some of that art included statues to Ganesha, and while I was there I learned that Portland is apparently well-known for liking elephants. I found this to be very interesting and synchronististic. Here's a little-known fact about me: Elephants are my absolute favorite animal in the world. I've always been fascinated by them and actually collect elephant statues, and would have to say that in some ways I do identify with elephant strongly. And certainly I seem to have similar memory traits as I generally remember wherever I've been and can trace the path pretty easily and have an intuitive ability to find my way around as well.

So tonight I decided to meditate and see out elephant. I'd gotten an elephant statue recently and I held it in one hand, whiel I meditated, using it as a link to connect with elephant. What ended up happening is that elephant found me on a prairie plain and asked me what I wanted. I said I wanted to know what the significance of his presence in my life was. He told me that if I wanted to, I could work with him more and he could show me how to get better at clearing my path of obstacles and finding the best paths to get to my goals. He showed me how he did this a lot, when seeking food and water, and said my search for business was essentially the same...trying to find my food and water...and that he could help. I think I'll be meditating with him further on this and seeing how he can help, but I'm definitely intrigued.

After my meditation with elephant, I decided to do a working with Apophenia, from the Apophenion by Peter Carroll. Basically I asked her to show me the random connections in my current situation, which is what she is known for, I used the elemental hexagon deck and the reading I got pretty much confirmed a prior reading, so it was an excellent way to test Apophenia, while also getting a bit more information on the situation I was doing the reading about. I'll start working with her a bit more proactively in the near future, but this time around just wanted to connect with her and that seemed to work pretty well.

Call for Writers – Womens Voices in Magic

Call for Writers – Womens Voices in MagicEmail for inquiries and submissions: brandyeditor at gmail.com

Megalithica Books, an imprint of Immanion Press (Stafford, U.K./Portland, OR, U.S.A) is seeking submissions for an anthology on women working in the magical communities, particularly in communities where women have not been extensively published or in which women face stereotyping and misunderstanding within and without the community. These communities include (but are not limited to) groups and individuals working in the Golden Dawn, Thelemic, Aurum Solis, Alchemy, Chaos, and Experimental Fields.

Women have been involved in traditional and ritual magic since the late Victorian era. However women are often viewed as tangential to these communities or as soror mysticae, assistants to the magician. Today women are actively involved in ceremonial magical groups and lodges, alchemy, chaos magic, and Experimental Magic, overcoming stereotypes and creating new visions of magic within the communities.

Here are some suggested topics to give you an idea of the focus of this anthology.

Magical work What magical work are you doing now? How do you describe it? Do you work alone, in a group, or in several settings? (For example, I do is traditional Ceremonial magic, traditional Witchcraft, experimental Ceremonial in a group setting, and I create experimental Ceremonial work.)

Women's work Is your magical work centered in a community where women do not have a strong presence, or in which women face stereotyping? Does it matter to your work that you are a woman? Do you feel that you approach the work in the same way that the men in your field do, or does being a woman affect your magic? Is that affect biological, cultural, magical, or all three? Do you present yourself to the world as a magical worker ("I am an alchemist") or as a woman in your field ("I am a woman alchemist")?

Stereotypes and prejudice Has anyone ever told you "I didn't know women were involved in that?" ("You're the first woman I've met in the O.T.O.!") Do outsiders assume that only men do the kind of work you are doing? Do people assume that because you are a woman you are doing the work in a particular way? (For example, do people assume that because you are a woman, you are doing psychological alchemy, not physical chemistry?)

Do you actively encounter prejudice? Do people talk to the man standing next to you rather than you? Are you silenced in person or online when you try to speak about your own work?

How do you counter stereotypes and prejudice when you encounter them? Are they only annoying, do they actively hinder your work, do they prevent you from doing your work? How important is it to you that your work is understood by others?

Women's history Women's history has been difficult to document. This is as true in the magical fields as in any other endeavor. Mary Greer wrote about the lives of some of the early women in ceremonial magic in Women of the Golden Dawn. Are you aware of stories about women in the traditional and ritual magical fields that have not been told? Are you involved in documenting women's history in the magical communities?

Soror mysticae Stage magicians sometimes have women assistants. This image holds true in the magical field as well; Renaissance alchemists spoke of "soror mysticae" or women who assisted their work. Do people assume that you are not primarily directing or benefiting from your work? Do you work on your own, with a partner of your own sex, with a partner of the opposite sex, or with a group? Do the people you work with support your work? Do you yourself have assistants whose work you direct?

Traditional cultures In your work do you study or interact with people in other cultures and traditional cultures? Do the gender roles in those cultures differ from those of your own culture? Are those roles more or less restrictive, or just different? In what situations does your gender come up, and how do you handle those situations?

Honoring the cycle Women's magic has been associated with women's fertility cycle. Do you find that comforting and supporting, or angering and limiting? How does your menstrual, pregnancy, and menopausal cycle affect the magic you are doing – deeply, tangentially, or not at all? Do you do any specific magic to honor the cycles of the body?

Feminism If you are a feminist, do you present yourself as a feminist in the magical field in which you work? Are the others you work with in your field receptive to your feminism, or are they resistant or defensive around feminist discussion? Do you feel that feminism is central to your work, or do you see your feminism as social rather than magical?

Women's communities Is there a sense of women's community in the field in which you work? Are you actively involved in building women's community? Do you encounter resistance to this work? Are women you work with excited by women's community? Do you and the women you work with see women's community as a way to socialize, a magical path, a parallel community to the mens' community? What is your vision for the women's magical communities of the future?

Rough drafts are due 18 May, 2009. These drafts will be edited in a back-and-forth process with the editor. Essays should be 1500-4000 words, although if your work falls outside those limits, do submit it – we can discuss this during the editing process. Do drop us an email if you are unsure whether your idea fits into the content. The sooner you start the communication process the better, as after the deadline we won't be considering additional ideas.

Essay requirements: • Citations for all quoted, paraphrased, or otherwise unoriginal material • Bibliography of works cited • Prefer APA format

Do write in your voice! If you're academically inclined or trained, feel free to be as intelligent and technical as you like. If your work entirely talks in the first person about your own experience, please include this also. There is a wide range in women's voices, and we are interested in being as inclusive of style as possible.

Compensation will be ($25) (paid via twice-yearly royalties from book sales) plus a free copy of the anthology when it is published and additional copies sold at 40% off the cover price to contributers. All contributors will be provided with a contract upon final acceptance of their essays, not when they are accepted for editing. If your essay is not accepted for the anthology, we will tell you after the first round of edits.

The anthology will be edited by Brandy Williams. She is the author of author of several pagan/occult nonfiction books. She may be found online at http://www.brandywilliams.org and her email address for this anthology is brandyeditor at gmail.com.

Immanion Press is a small independent press based in the United Kingdom. Founded by author Storm Constantine in 2003, it expanded into occult nonfiction in 2004 with the publication of Taylor Ellwood's Pop Culture Magick. Today, Immanion's nonfiction line, under the Megalithica Books imprint, has a growing reputation for edgy, experimental texts on primarily intermediate and advanced pagan and occult topics. Find out more at http://www.immanion-press.com.

Hindsight

I was looking at one of my experimental journals, a written journal I keep, and saw it in a reading I did a year or more ago about a possible move to the East versus staying in Portland. I won't say much about the East coast reading beyond noting that what the reading showed me certainly would've come true, which was apparent when the reading was done, but in hindsight is even more apparent now. But looking at the reading for staying in PDX. The Death card was first...Transformation, recycling, going thorugh a cycle...yes that's exactly what I'm experiencing in my life, followed by creativity, action, compassion, and breakthrough...All of which are elements in my life right now, both in the emptiness working and in my business pursuits. And why really mention it? Because it fascinates me to see how much my life has changed as a result of my choice, in what I would think of as really positive changes overall. I took the harder path, in some ways, a path where some alchemical rotting needed to occur in order to bring about inner alchemical changes...and is still occurring...hard when you face your demons in all their glory, but so rewardinging for the changes that can occur. One reading came true...the other could've too...but in hindsight, having experienced some of the journey for this reading I found...I'm where I need to be, to progress on my spiritual path. And looking at the reading over a year later, I am struck by how it spoke so well to not just the present then, but also the present manifesting now. It's amazing what you can see and find in the patterns of yesterday which speaks to the weave of today.

Elemental Emptiness Work Month 5: Compassion pt. 2

2-16-09 I've been gone for a few days at pantheacon and a lot happened while there. On the flight in, I was reading Relaxing into your Being by B. K. Frantzis and in it he was discussing how meditation work initially is like a glass of water with red dust in it. The red dust swirls a lot, but as the water smooths itself, the dust settles and eventually you can see how it is separate from the water...likewise as you meditate and work through your issues those issues can be separated from the water of your consciousness. Then the true work comes, namely dissolving the dust, dissolving the issues, until all that is left it emptiness, consciousness, the Tao. As I was reading that, I realized very intimately that my experience with emptiness right now is really my experience with my dysfunctions and distortions of emptiness. It isn't the Tao, but my fear. There's still some red dust in the water, but not as much as four and some change years ago. I became aware of how far I have to go, but also appreciative that I could realize that and also that someday I will come back to the element of emptiness for a different experience of it, but that my current experience is healthy and useful for what I need it to be. I do feel like I'm achieving a healthier relationship with emptiness and this realization is part of that healthier relationship, but I also realized something equally important: I want to discover the Tao.

While at Pantheacon, I also realized something very significant about my experience there. It used to be that when I went to conventions or fetish events that I felt really empty and wanted to fill that up with people I saw. I'd feel desperate and wonder if this person or that person would somehow complete me. This con and also the fet events I went to, I haven't felt that compulsion. I did feel attracted to several people, and I realized what attracted me to those people is a desire to really get to know them as people and explore the energy and relationship between us. Much different from wanting to fill my emptiness up. And I didn't feel a particular need to act on those attractions, but to instead just observe, recognize, and release.

Yesterday I got into a discussion about vulnerability and a realization I had out of that is that I really don't like being vulnerable. Even when  I write about it, in some ways I am distancing myself from it. Last night's interaction and some difficult emails from last week has really brought this to my attention in a needed way. And I recognize that no one likes to feel vulnerable...but still it just really hit me how much that does scare me sometimes because of my past and everything that happened to me. Having grown up in a situation where my vulnerabilities were preyed on a lot, it's not a surprise I really draw back into a shell when I feel vulnerable. It's something I'll work with more, now that I'm aware of it.

2-18-09 I tried working with my vulnerability further by being very open with someone I feel vulnerable with. It was scary to be very open with this person, but also empowering. And what was so empowering was that my focus was on the relationship and connection I have with this power, instead of being focused on trying to fill something up within me. I don't feel driven to try and fill something up...I can actually appreciate the moment and the connection. That's something I can genuinely say I've rarely felt before.

2-19-09 I find myself in situations where I am able to sit with myself and with someone else with genuine compassion for the suffering that person is feeling, with less judgment than I would've used in the past. That's not to say I don't feel judgment at all, but I'm much more aware of how much of that judgment is really rooting judging myself and then projecting that judgment on other people. A recent situation really clarified that for me, because I could actually see how I've judged others and how it may have made them feel, because of how I felt being judged. It brings it real close to home, when suddenly you feel put in a corner. You see how you may have done that to other people as well and then you ask, "Where does this really come from?" And speaking only for myself, I can safely say that my judgments of others does come from judging myself. So how much of my judgment is really accurate at all, when the root of it is based in my own feelings toward myself? If I'm going to judge anything, may I judge the actions and motives, but not the actual person. May I feel compassion for the suffering of that person and yet may I also respect myself enough to not allow that suffering to harm myself or others I love. And may I also continue to recognize and work with my own suffering so that I find resolution with it and also don't inflict it on other people.

2-20-09 Some really interesting insights came up in therapy, which make a lot of sense in regards to anger and how I handle vulnerability. Anger is my "safe emotion" It's the emotion I switch to when I feel uncomfortable with a situation. Makes complete sense to me, because it's an emotion about defense and protection, even as it's also an emotion about judgment and criticism. It's an emotion I've used to judge myself, without really communicating with myself. It's masked my vulnerability from me, even if it hasn't masked it from anyone else. As I've continued working with my relationship to anger, I've gradually uncovered the feeling of vulnerability underneath the anger and realized how much I've avoided feeling vulnerable, in order to avoid being hurt by someone. Question is whether I've really avoided being hurt. I don't think I have. If anything I've just avoided acknowledging how my vulnerability really makes me feel.

Thankfully as I've continued to get more comfortable with my anger, it's also me to work on being more comfortable with my feelings of vulnerability. I'm still pretty uncomfortable with feeling vulnerable. It's not something I'm used to admitting to myself, but I think the next step of my emptiness working will involve learning to sit with those feelings of vulnerability, while I also continue to improve my relationship with anger. Already I've gotten a bit better about actually expressing the emotion underlying my anger, so that instead of just yelling or bitching about something, I actually explain what the underlying emotion is. Small steps, but definitely helpful for making me feel a bit more comfortable with actually feeling my vulnerability and expressing it.

2-21-09 Tonight I realized something very important about how people have different standards of importance...as well as the fact that underlying my desire to have time with someone is really a need to feel important in that person's life. That last part is important, because so much of my life has involved me feeling neglected by the people who were in it, so much so that it quite naturally effects my standards of how people show me that I'm important to them. I need to keep that in mind, but also keep in mind that other people will have different standards of importance, which are equally as valid and need to be considered. And despite the shortness of this paragraph, that's quite a bit to consider.

2-22-09 I'd kind of been seeing a person for the last few weeks. Today it ended up not working out. I don't know if I should read more into it than is there...is this part of the emptiness working? I think it's more about her journey than mine in this case and what I take away from it, in my own journey, is that this time I was able to be very graceful about breaking it off and accept where she is, instead of getting upset because my expectations weren't met. I'm sad, but also accepting.

I wrote that earlier, but as the day progressed, I could feel my dysfunctions with emptiness rear up. I'm sitting with them, but I have to admit I don't like who I see in the mirror, right now. It's nothing anyone has done...it's just sitting with those parts of me, the anger, the desire, the fear...sitting and feeling. I'll relax into it, and let it swallow me into the dark well of emptiness.

2-24-09 The last couple of days have been insightful for me, since things were broken between myself and the person I was dating. What has been insightful is that I've had a demon rear its head again. It's not as strong, but I recognize now that by being in a relationship with someone, it anchored that need or grounded it, and once unanchored it once again became something which does not feel good to deal with. It also reveals, to me, a kind of desperate neediness on my part, in a sense. A co-dependence I suppose and I'm not sure I like that either. So I'm trying to sit with this demon and feed it what it needs. It's not easy. My sleep this morning was definitely uneasy as I came out of it thinking about this situation of feeling this desire and recognizing how this desire makes me feel when its expressed in a manner which is unhealthy. I'll keep working with it and being patient, but it does definitely bring up some uncomfortable feelings and realizations.

"Who's that ugly person staring at me?"

"Why that's you my dear."

Re-reading Frantzis's Relaxing into Your Being has been helpful for showing me that what I'm going through with this emptiness working is perfectly normal to be experiencing, when you are doing this kind of work. He mentions that one experience a meditator will have is that of Ru ding, which is a total fear of the death of your ego. And I have to admit, sometimes I have felt that fear. He notes that when you approach the core of your being is natural to want to run in the opposite direction or scream...check. I've felt that too, yet I know I have to stay in those moments, work through them, sit with them, accept them and if I can do that it actually is really good afterwards. And the breathing meditation lets me do that...I breath and I am here.

I also have to acknowledge that on some level I am feeling insecure in my relationship with my wife, because I recognize a feeling of disquiet about our relationship. Yet that disquiet is rooted in what I've discussed above. It's that same demon within me, wanting to have a need fulfilled, but not feeling like she could fulfill that need. And is she really supposed to anyway? A friend said recently I need to spend some time figuring out what I want for me. And he's right...and this demon is part of figuring that out. All the feelings and insecurities that come up are part of it all. What do I really want in my relationships, and also for myself, period?

2-25-09 Today I feel humbled. I realize just how far I have to go in my spiritual journey. Today I feel angry at myself, for my weaknesses, for feeling jealous, and for feeling angry in the first place. I "should" feel compassionate toward myself, but I just can't. I feel like a failure. I am someone stuck to my red dust, and to my habits, and my dysfunctions. If a human is half beast and half angel, most definitely I feel I am the beast today. I sit with my anger, and my jealousy and embody it as a demon and feed it what it wants, but still am left feeling unsatisfied with myself or my efforts. The sharp edges of my feelings are cutting me deep and I really wonder if I can handle that, handle a relationship dynamic I'm not entirely certain I want anymore, etc. The relationship dynamic issues, the demon as it were has really come out as I've considered what has motivated me to be involved with anyone at this point. What it is I'm trying to find with Lupa, another lover, or even a friend. What is the point of all of this? I don't know and I really feel lost today.

2-27-09 Therapy always provides some interesting insights. My therapist asked me, what if my needs, desires, etc. aren't necessarily unhealthy...what if some of my motivations are healthy, but that it's just that I've let the unhealthy needs set the course as it were? And I think it's a good question to ask. I guess I'd say that not all my reasons for my life choices have been unhealthy, but recognizing the reasons that have been unhealthy has made me do some re-evaluation about the kinds of relationships I want and what those relationships will mean to me. And of course it is helping me also understand my relationship to emptiness and how it feels to just sit with emptiness instead of having to try and change it. If I'm not trying to fill my emptiness, but just sitting with it, that does change the types of relationships I'm having with people. And I don't want my relationships to be based on trying to fill something up within me. I want to them to be much more about the actual people who I'm fortunate enough to share my life with.

3-2-09 I feel much less angry with myself than I ever have. There's still a lingering feeling of anger, but not nearly so strong and it's so surprising how much it changes how I feel in general. It's like a big burden has been removed. I actually feel really good and comfortable with my emptiness. It seems the anger aggravated it, which makes sense, but wow...how different it feels...how strangely different and beautiful.

3-3-09 Today I've been sitting with some feeling of anger over a situation where I've felt...unacknowledged for lack of better word. It's not a situation with anyone, or anything...but rather a desire to feel acknowledged. Yet in sitting with it, I wonder how much of it really is about my own sense of self-esteem as well. Seems to me that unattachment, the ability to be distinct, distant, and un-needing of anyone is valued a lot, and what do you do when you realize that isn't who you are? I don't like being distant or unattached. I like connection, resonance, feeling a shared and mutual interest. It's time for me to go a step deeper into the Emptiness meditation work. The layer is ready to be unpeeled.

I meditated for a while and the main impression I got? The fear of my emptiness consuming me, so thus trying to fill my emptiness up with other things so it doesn't consume me. And it makes sense in a very odd kind of way, even though it's clearly a dysfunctional relationship with emptiness. I don't think emptiness would consume me, but this fear, this new layer of issues with emptiness is definitely something I'll visit more, because it speaks of a deep issue with consumerism itself, when it comes to why people indulge in it so much...Are we as culture trying to fill our collective emptiness up, so we can avoid it consuming us?

3-4-09 In reflecting further on what I wrote above, it seems clear to me that many pursuits, if not all of them, offer a person a chance to feed emptiness, while trying to avoid it as well. That's true for me, anyway. I may not want to generalize for anyone else. Yet emptiness is all around us. In reading some more Toward a Psychology of Awakening by John Welwood, he notes something rather interesting: "Our most common experience of nonthought or emptiness is the appearance of little gaps between our thoughts - gaps that are continually occurring, though normally overlooked" He's right. There are gaps of emptiness which appear. If you think in words, the very momentary blip between each word is a moment of emptiness. Then again I think in music and have it on in my mind unless I'm listening to it and I wonder if that isn't just another way to avoid emptiness, even those microcosmic moments of experiencing it. Yet I can say there are times when I am comfortable with emptiness, comfortable with those moments, when that fear of being consumed is gone or somewhere else. Further meditation and reflection and reading will undoubtedly reveal more.

3-08-09 The last couple of days has involved an interesting process of reacting to a moment when I was very vulnerable and open with someone., as well as dealing with my tendency to be possessive/fascinated with the people I'm involved with. Being vulnerable is something I don't do well and there is a reflexive tendency to protect myself when it occurs, because I don't like how it makes me feel. This person can see into me and sees who I am...what will they do now. Readers could argue I'm being vulnerable on this blog, when I write about this stuff, but it's entirely different level of vulnerability, when in person.

The other issue of being possessive/fascinated is always a weird one for me. I am, by my nature, a fairly possessive/territorial person. I can adjust it somewhat, but it is something that never entirely goes away...It seems to be an integral component of my psychological makeup. I recognize it's a fairly selfish aspect of myself, but I also see it rooted in a desire to have a stable home life/territory with people. I like to know what is mine so that I feel secure about it. Yet, I see it relating to my issues with emptiness as well, as if by possessing something or someone I have something to protect myself from the emptiness. A lot to consider.

3-9-2009 Sometimes I find myself in a real fix, with my mind split on what I could do and whether I should do it...and the conflict that can occur sometimes. And in those cases, I sometimes feel terribly weak as a person because of that conflict. I know it's a conflict others deal with as well, but in that moment of feeling weak, all I can really acknowledge is that some part of myself does feel...weak. Moments like these occur much less than they used to be. As I become aligned with what I might think of as my true purpose. calling, destiny, etc., I find myself discovering an inner strength I never thought I possessed. And if I can just continue to sit with these moments of weakness and not necessarily act on them, I might find a capacity to embrace that strength, while also loving my weakness and letting it go.

3-10-09 Today I talked further with my therapist about my realization that underlying my desire to fill my emptiness up was a fear of having that emptiness devour me, devour my identity. She noted I felt a bit ungrounded and I had to admit that yes, I did...I'm not really sure what to do with this realization, or if there is anything I need to do with it. I'm still processing it, still figuring out what it means and how I feel about it. It's such an overwhelming feeling to feel that I need to handle it one little bit at a time, one tiny step...talking about it today was one step, who knows what the next step will be or when it'll occur. I know the fear is there...I know I need to sit with it, but first I just need to accept I feel it.

3-12-09 I've been meditating on the fear for the last two days and a very important realization came up. Sex, for me, has been a way to feed my emptiness, but also a way to avoid feeling my fear about being consumed by my emptiness. It's a multi-layered issue/demon. And it helps me understand the reality of what I'm dealing with when I'm doing this emptiness working. I'm dealing with a bunch of issues connected to how I feel about experiencing emptiness in my life.

3-13-09 It hit me fully today or at least much more today...my emptiness and my fear of being consumed by it as well as what that has meant in regards to my motivations. I felt this fear, felt this very real fragility in myself over acknowledging this fear of being consumed by my emptiness and what that actually means when it comes to my motivations for my choices. In feeling that fear, as opposed to just thinking about it, I got closer to emptiness than I have before.

Later in the evening, I did a tarot experiment where I determined my life/soul card, which turned out to be the Hermit card. We did a pathworking, where I ended up going really deep and allowing the hermit archetype to possess me. He didn't speak much, when questioned by the person doing the pathworking, but he did have a lot of information to give me about not only the emptiness working, but also, if you will, my destiny in this particular life. And what he told me made a lot of sense...answered a lot of questions...what it really boiled down to is being able to let go of what I've held onto for a long time, so I can take that next step on my spiritual path. Truth to tell that's just a really brief summary, but that's all I can offer on the experience.

3-14-09 Sometimes what you hold back eats at you more than what you are showing. When I can't share with someone in my life what I'm going through I feel like that person is no longer really a connection. And when I feel that way...I feel lost with that person. It's the end of this month, the second month focused on compassion. I feel more compassionate toward myself than I used to and maybe even somewhat compassionate toward other people. And I feel less combative toward this emptiness in my life...and yet also find myself on quite the precipice with it. I was telling someone the other day how tired I feel right now...this emptiness work is hard, harder than the love working, and while the progress which has been made has been so worth it, there comes a point in time where what I really look forward to is simply letting go. I am letting go of so much, but the path to that letting go is full of barbed wire and hard realizations. My feet bleed and my emotions hurt...I hurt. And I have seven months more of this...but what those seven months could be...is anyone's guess. I'm learning, I'm living, and yes, I'm experiencing my emptiness and my issues with it. That's something right there I've never done.

Some insights into Taoist inner alchemy

I'm reading Qigong Meditation: Small circulation by Yang Jwing-Ming. I'm finding this book to be really useful in further refining my understanding of Taoist energy work, particularly on one issue which concerns the retention of semen. If you've read any of Mantak Chia's work, Chia argues that it's absolutely essential to retain the semen during sex in order to avoid losing your energy. I've never been fully satisfied by Chia's explanation, mainly because I haven't fully understood the correlation between the loss of semen and the loss of energy. However in Yang's book this correlation is explicitly explained in a manner, which explains what the issue is, and also adds a further step to the process of refinement. Yang explains that when the semen is full the hormones stimulate the brain and generate sexual desire, which in turn energizes the person...and that the goal of the inner alchemy is to actually transform the semen into Qi (or raw energy) Having sex too frequently can deplete the amount of semen available to convert into qi, while not having it too frequently actually slows down the production of semen...so it seems having a somewhat active sex life is actually important for the inner alchemical conversion process.

When the semen is turned into qui, it can then be used to nourish the body. In fact, what is called marrow washing is essentially a process of taking converted qi and using it to heal/regenerate the body.

The explanation offered does provide some insight into how Taoist inner alchemy works, and specifically what the function of semen is for the energy work being done by the male (though you rarely find much written in regards to the female). I'll be sure to update readers further as I continue reading and/or trying out the techniques in this book.

XAH

I am the darkness of your nightthe shadow to your light, the laughing fox who jaunts about is my guide into you.

I am your holiest of holies, your god and personal Daemon, I am the emptiness which engulfs you the passion that burns you the intensity which brings you to your knees at my feet worshipping I who can bring you to a place of transcendent spiritual ecstasy even as I devour your soul

In my nothingness is born your everything, in the wink of my eyes lies the shuddering span of your life. The fear you feel of facing yourself is the fear of the unknown that lies at the center of your being all and nothing, one in all, and all in one I am that I am that I breathe your name brings you life that I laugh makes you shudder

I am your daemon, your god your holiest of holies that which is beyond you yet that which you become 0 into 1 and 1 into infinity

I am Xah, your personal daemon, your guide into the Tao where everything and nothing transcend any reality all collapses into none to birth one the cycle eternal everything fits within everything the endless spider spiral of life and time is your gateway to endless silver strands of probability

I am Xah...your guide Come run with me...

Addendum to my post about the limitation of gods

Later in the epilogue one of the protagonists is told that Ahriman is pursuing them because he still needs to tell Ahriman his wish. He says he doesn't want anything Ahriman offers and Ahriman is astonished. And the key point to that...Any relationship is defined by the choices you make. A god only has power over you when you give that god power over you. Before then a god could suggest, tempt, etc., but in the end it is the choice of both parties to create a context for a relationship. It's another point worth considering when it comes to deities, and for that matter relationships in general.

Some thoughts on the limitations of gods

Warning...this post will likely be considered blasphemous if you are of the school of thought deities are all powerful, all knowing, and therefor infallible. That said, let's move on to the content... I recently finished the new Prince of Persia game and have been playing the downloadable add-on epilogue adventure and in both the main game and the epilogue there is a very interesting point raised about the power and intelligence of a deity. At one point, in the main game, one of the protagonist's wishes that there was an army helping them fight Ahriman, and the other protagonist says it's actually better that it's two of them, because an army of people would be more dangerous because they could be tempted by Ahriman. In fact, she goes on to explain that the real danger is that peopel would be tempted by Ahriman. Yes, this deity could tempt them, but the fact is, the choice is ultimately the person's and that makes that person very dangerous. Ahriman, in this game is simply the god of Darkness. In some ways he has less individuality and less choice than the humans he could tempt. He's dangerous, but his danger is limited by the context of the function he serves by being a god of darkness.

In the epilogue, the characters face a monster that Ahriman creates, and both note the lack of originality and the one character says that Ahriman is still weak and so is using forms he is familiar with, when creating monsters out of the corruption. But it also brings up an interesting question about the creativity or lack thereof that Ahriman displays. Ahriman is limited to some degree by the very role he has as a god of darkness and so what he can do is also accordingly limited.

In the Buddhist conceptions of deity, the gods, despite being powerful within the function that they fulfill, are less powerful than humans because they are defined by that function and even defined by the way humans relate to them. In the past, it has been pointed out to me that deities can grow and develop as a result of the relationship that they have with people, and I agree that this is true, but it is actually because of that relationship that they can grow and evolve...that the function of what they do can change. A god of darkness is kind of old hat in contemporary culture...but a god of darkness and several other functions is a god that has adapted to the times as a result of its interaction with people.

I think that there are some spiritual seekers that are too eager to give all power to the gods, while divesting themselves of the responsibility for their actions by saying: "My god made me do it." Undoubtedly they would look at what I wrote above and say I was being blasphemous to the spirits, that I would be punished for my affront by describing gods as beings that may not be all powerful and may in fact be defined and shaped by the relationships they have with humans and other beings. Yet, the simple fact of the matter is that everything is defined by relationships. A human being is definitely not all powerful...s/he has to live on a planet with a breathable atmosphere and other forms of live in order to sustain his/her own life...and that's just survival on the physical level. The emotional, mental, and yes spiritual level also necessitates relationships of some kind in order for a person to survive and indeed thrive.

Why wouldn't this principle apply to gods? In fact, I don't think gods are all powerful and I think they are limited by the function of what they do and how that is defined in the relationships they have with others. I think that when people put gods on a pedestal, they are divesting themselves of responsibility for their own actions, or using that god to justify their own attempts to have power over other people. This isn't to say that a relationship where a person feels subservient to a god isn't spiritual or right for that person...for clearly that can be a relationship that person needs. Nor is it wrong to feel a sense of awe or humbleness in working with a deity...but such relationships will ideally not involve abdication of responsibility. Rather, ideally the god will challenge the person to grow and use the spiritual lessons to help that person fully understand the nature of the service s/he has entered into in choosing to work with or worship that god.

All the same, I don't think treating a god as all powerful or all knowing is a wise idea. Recognize it's power and knowledge, but also recognize your own. Recognize the context of the relationship in order to better appreciate that relationship and learn and grow from it, while also helping the other end learn and grow as well.

The connection between Inner Alchemy and Social Responsibility

Latest article on Right where you are sitting now: A reprint of Developing an Internal Body Language. I've just finished reading Mencius and what really stands out to me about is an approach to the value of relationships and sustaining them, which I've only found in networking groups which focus on a collaborative approach to doing business. In this book, Mencius talks about turning vices into virtues by sharing them with other people. What an interesting principle! Essentially he argues that when we keep our pleasures to ourselves, then we have turned them into vices, being done solely for one's own pleasure and without any consideration of other people. By sharing a pleasure with others, we turn it from a vice into a virtue because we are using it to create and sustain relationships with others, and consequently taking care of each other, instead of just the self. Likewise, his focus on the heart, as a principle of connection and feeling which separates us from other beings is interesting because it again suggests that the value of being a human is not based on anything inherently human, so much as it is based on the relationships and connections we create, and how then to cultivate those relationships. These two principles are very humanistic, and I think rooted in compassion.

I've found over the years, as I've continued to meditate and work through the various societal and dysfunctional programming I have, that my awareness of others and relationship to those people has changed. I've become more socially responsible, for I recognize that I do have a responsibility to my fellow person, as well as to myself. I think that as a person unclutters his/her psyche that s/he ideally begins to recognize the connections to other people s/he has and begins to cultivate healthier connections focused on the benefit of all, as opposed to just the benefit of the self, or just a few people. Naturally the best connections occur between the people you know well, but even with people I don't know as well, I've come to recognize that I share much more in common with them, than what is different. The differences do matter, but the commonality of being a human being, of having needs, etc., outweighs those differences significantly in a socially responsible model for approaching the world. Inner alchemical work, by its nature emphasizes an awareness of the commonality all of us share, for in doing the work, the superficial layers fall away to reveal a person with the same ense of vulnerability and need that anyone else has...and if we can cultivate compassion for that, then we can reach out and help others, not out of a self-righteous sense of ego, but rather a humble, humanistic awareness of the commonality of the human experience we share.

Review of Mencius

I found Mencius to be an excellent book, which clarified and drew out a lot of the Confucianist principles found in the analects, with much lengthier explanations offered. In particular Mencius's focus on the Heart and also changing your vices into virtues by sharing them with other people is fascinating because it illustrates a different perspective on how to approach the world, while simultaneously advocating a humanistic approach, sorely needed in our current time. It's wroth revisiting this great classic, both as a way to evaluate our practices, and also to remind us that ultimately we need to value an approach that is humanistic as opposed to materialistic.

5 philosophers out of 5

The cards say it all

In a recent post, I talked about using a new deck for some of my space/time tarot work. Last night, I finally got around to using it for myself and working with the spider goddess of time again, though as a curious note, since I'm currently letting someone borrow the book, she wasn't as present, which suggests that the book itself is magical artifact or talisman for connecting with her. Anyway, I set up my usual circle and invoked my future as well as my space/time deities and XAH. As I mentioned I didn't feel the spider goddess as strongly, but her silver web was still present. I asked my future self for help in continuing to navigate the current economic situation. Then I shuffled the elemental hexagon cards for a while.

First three cards presented myself and my obstacles.Vanadium- the Seeker was definitely me...and how interesting that for the metaphysical world it's described as void. That certainly fits my emptiness working. The two cards above the seeker card were apt as well. The one on the right was Fluorine-paranoia and the one on the left was Nickel - cost of living. Certainly the current environment is one of paranoia in general...and that fear can be infectious. The cost of living is an issue as well, given my current economic circumstances.

The next two cards are resources in myself to rely on right now, both for myself and my business. The card on the left, above Nickel is Hydrogen - Building blocks. It's an excellent reminder that I know how to build a business and also know how to use those building blocks effectively. Strontium was the card above flourine. Strontium is Luminescent Self and what it tells me is to use my meditation, my discipline practices, etc. to work with my fears, but not let them become paranoia...sit with the fear, but not fight it.

The next two cards presented external factors, people, etc. that could help me in this process. The card above Hydrogen is Silver, the moon goddess. I'm pretty sure this is a person and I'm pretty sure I know who this person is and how this person would relate to the cost of living and building blocks aspect, given some of the help she's already given me. Interesting to get confirmation on this person's presence and role not only as a helper, but also other ways she's manifested in my life.

The card above Strontium is Chlorine - Chaos in order, magic. On the superficial level its the reminder to use magic, but on a deeper level, could be more. Too early to tell, but if it's more then it's the vector of another person's path crossing mine...we shall see. Regardless it's a useful reminder that magic is always one of my most potent tools and actually points to the fact that it's time to work with Apophenia.

Final card, the outcome as it were is Argon or completion. A light bulb, but also a filament...Everything coming together to provide illumination, wealth..It is the trump card for the world. All things and none, everything and nothing, becoming complete...it's an interesting theme that continues to play itself out in a myriad of ways.

I'll be working with Apophenia next.

An interesting reading. Below's a picture of the reading:

Review: The Art of Memory by Frances Yates

This is pretty much an exhaustive coverage of the memory mansion technology, where a person creates a virtual space and symbols and associates information with each symbol. Yates traces the technique to pre-socratic Greece through Rome and the medieval and Renaissance era. There's some intriguing overlay with the occult history of Giordano Bruno. I'll admit, however, I was actually looking for what I hoped would be detailed information on how the memory technique is done. While Yates does provide some information, I didn't find this book to be as useful as I hoped. It's useful as a history about memory techniques, but not really for a description of those techniques.

4 out of 5 mnemonics.

Figured out how to refine the mastermind experiment

Tonight, at the local experiment group, one of the people had put together an experiment where we would synchronize our states of consciousness by doing a meditation together. The meditation was fairly simple. We basically just walked back through the entire day in the emditation, reliving what happened during the day. But what fascinated me about this work is that when we meditated together, in the same room (we did an intial round in other rooms), and we were instructed to connect to each other, we actually really felt each other. I felt a heavy tingling sensation on my body, moreso than I would feel if I was just meditating alone. I could feel my energy field mesh with the energy fields of the others. I felt synchronized...and later, in our discussion, I realized I'd felt this way before. I'd felt this way when doing a group activity with people...not to the same level or depth, but nonetheless the feeling was there.

And then I realized how to refine the mastermind experiment was to cut out the focus on consciously connecting with people. That likely what will make this work is having each person simply do an agreed upon meditation at the same time and using that commonality, with a programmed focus on subconsciously connecting with each other, as a way of actually circumventing the conscious mind's attempt analytically construct how people will act/react.

Essentially the meditation will create a baseline state of mind which is used to create sympathetic resonance with each person doing the meditation. Add a pathworking/narrative element (agreed on in advance) to help each person find the others, and use that as a way to create the master-mind group. Now I just need to test it out. I'll put something together and report back with hopefully a much better process in place for utilizing this technique.

Latest space/time Tarot Experiment

At Pantheacon, I had the good fortune to barter one of my books for a very intriguing Tarot deck, the Elemental Hexagons Deck. Tonight I broke the deck in with a space/time tarot ritual working for a friend of mine. I used the voyager deck to create the magical circle and invoked the future version of my friend into my hands so that he could shuffle the deck. I asked him to provide me information and/or magical work to help him with a situation in his life. The reading itself was interesting, but I won't post details as it is confidential information. What I will note however is how tactile and intuitive using the elemental hexagon deck is. I was able to easily intuit a pattern that made perfect sense for the information, but what I really liked is how the cards fit together. You basically attach one hexagon to another. It really helps make the relationships very apparent and seamless.

I'll be experimenting more with this deck for space/time workings, especially with the spider goddess of time, in the near future, so expect further posts, and some pictures in the near future!

Release of The Flowering Rod: Men and Their Role in Paganism by Kenny Klein

Immanion Press/Megalithica Books is pleased to announce the release of its newest nonfiction title, The Flowering Rod: Men and Their Role in Paganism by Kenny Klein! Much is made of women in neopaganism--but what about men? Where are the men's mysteries, and what is their role in modern paganism? These questions and more are addressed in The Flowering Rod: Men and Their Role in Paganism. Out of print and unavailable for almost two decades, this revised and updated edition covers everything from philosophical and theological issues, to ritual practice and elements of neopagan mystery religion, all focused on the male role. Klein, a talented and renowned musician in his own right, intersperses his appealing prose with both original and traditional verse appropriate to the subject matter.

Click here for ordering information--copies are available now!

Economic Activism as a form of Social Responsibility

Last night I was invited to speak at a Reality Sandwich event at Powell's books. I evidently spoke well enough that people actually wanted me to sign copies of the RS anthology about 2012, even though I had not written an essay for the book. One of the subjects I mentioned was economic activism and a book I recommended for people to read. Here's a book review of said book:

Book Review: Investing for Change by August Landier and Vinay B. Nair

This is a really intriguing book which looks at how investors can use their values to shape not only their stock portfolios, but the companys they invest in as well as explaining how this is a form of social activism. I found this book to be useful in terms of considering how I want to plan my investments to reflect my values as well as helping me be an agent of social change. This book shows that people who are middle class can be socially aware and use their financial influence to be a positive force for change. Different criterias of investing for change are included which examine the motivations of people for doing certain types of investments. Definitely worth reading if you want to use your finances to make a statement about your values.

5 out of 5 investors

I see economic avticism as a from of social responsibility, the responsibility we need to feel to ourselves, each other, and this planet. As I've observed before, there is often a dysfunctional relationship with wealth/money in the counter culture movements and a lot of that is because of a tendency to demonize money as evil, without really recognizing the inherent problem with that perspective, which I'll simply say is an evasion of responsibility for our choices. While I don't economic activism alone is the answer, I do think it's a vital component and tool for us to use if we want to manifest positive change in the world. We will never escape from economics, so we need to start using money, etc., as a tool for change, if we want that change to occur.

I'll be writing more extensively on this subject and how it relates to wealth magic as well, in the future.

Specialness, Vulnerability, and Magic

Yesterday I had a conversation about the need to feel special and how that plays out in occult/pagan culture and also the feeling/role of vulnerability in magic. I don't really perceive myself or what I do as special perse. I think my practice of magic is an expression of my spirituality and curiosity. It's a methodology and process for asking questions and finding questions. Even the books and articles I write are an extension of that process, a desire to share information with like minded people. Granted, I enjoy presenting workshops and also writing books, but even that enjoyment is another expression of myself...it's not so much about feeling special as its about being true to my calling. And once I'm done presenting that workshop, I like just hanging out and talking for a while with people, like anyone else. Of course specialness can refer to otherness with magic, i.e. the otherworld...even that specialness is really not reserved for anyone...different faces, different archetypes, different beliefs can all lead to the otherworld. And the relationships we cultivate with that otherworld are like any other relationships, cultivated with care, effort, communication, love, etc.

As for vulnerability, a comment made was that there's a lot of fronting in magical culture, and not a lot of sharing of the process and mistakes and situations where someone does make a mistake...and I'm inclined to agree that for the most part this is the case. If I tell someone I'm working on a project, I don't want to just hear that they worked on something similar two years ago. I want to open up a dialogue between us, so I can learn what their process was and show them what my process is...and yes, be vulnerable, be willing to share the mistakes as well as the triumphs. I don't think this aspect of magical practice is shared as often as it could be, because too much focus is emphasized on showing how magically buff one is. But no matter how successful a person is at anything, that success is truly gained by making mistakes and learning from them. And if we can see that in action, then we can also appreciate magic as a holistic process, which shows us how to communicate with ourselves, each other, and the otherworld.

Update on Mastermind experiments

I posted a while back about experimenting with the master mind concept in Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich! And honestly it's been a bit of a flop. I've noted some synchronicities with people I did it with, but also a fair amount of inaccuracies and I'm not entirely sure how to refine the process to improve on the accuracy, though it's been suggested that not really knowing several people may have improved the efficacy for one person. Might be I think/analyze too damn much. Then again Napoleon Hill's approach to the astral version of the technique didn't involve connecting with real people, but simply imagining those people entering into his boardroom, which means he was interacting with his idealized version of those people...or perhaps with the subconscious aspects of those people, so there wasn't as much analysis or control in place. I'm not sure, but I think that could be the key to refining this process. I'll give it a try and see what comes of not actively trying to connect with real people, but instead simply working with my imagination and seeing if and how those people show up in that. The difference will be that I'm not actively trying to connect with the people at a set time, place, or for that matter expectations...this could be more effective as a passive technique.