Meditation on anger

Over the last couple of days I've been paying particular attention to the emotion of anger in regards to several situations in my life. Today as I was driving to different appointments, I started to dialogue with myself about both situations and the anger I felt toward each person. In one case the person is someone I don't really know, but his actions have hurt someone I care about, and in the other case, it's someone I've been close to and I think the anger is a natural byproduct of what's happened between us. The two situations seem dissimilar, and are on the surface, but its underneath where in fact there is a lot in common. I came to the conclusion today that my anger was really a reaction to a feeling of not having control of either situation. By reacting with anger, I provided myself an illusion of control, if only in the feeling of anger, but conversely I also felt even less in control because clearly I was reacting to each situation. The anger was my attempt to have control and I realized the real issue wasn't anger, but rather feeling of control or lack thereof.

I started to dissect each situation, realizing in one situation that my involvement was best left to being on the side and trusting the person I care for to handle the situation, while also providing support as needed.

In the second case, it is more complicated, because I realized that this feeling of not having control went back quite a way, and that the most recent iteration of it involved realizing that I hadn't felt like I had much control over what was taken by the person. It gave me some room for thought in terms of whether or not I had relinquished that control, as well as what control means in relationships, or doesn't mean. I think what I realized most is that I likely needed to speak up more, but also realize just how stifled I've felt. Some of that's on me, most of it really.

Rarely is the surface emotion the actual emotion that's being dealt with. I might feel anger, but underneath the real issue was control or lack thereof. I look at situations where I feel emotions and I acknowledge what I feel, but I want to dig down further and find out what's really going on. I don't think of anger as the reason for what I feel, but rather a reaction to the reason. The same can be said of fear or sadness, love, or happiness. Finding out what's underneath the surface emotion can tell you a lot about the actual problem and what your own contribution to it is.

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Short notes

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A Note about Definitions and Meaning My post about definitions could easily also apply to the word models. The word models is used a lot in magic theory. There is the spiritual model, the psychological model, the model for this or the model for that. But I don't think definitions are really models. I do think models are metaphors that attempt to categorize magic, whereas I think definitions are less about categorization and more about making meaning, or maybe even making connection through meaning. You can't really have connection if some kind of meaning isn't involved and definitions are all about meaning, the establishment of it as the way to understand what's around and within.

A Note about Immanion Press

I'm still involved in Immanion Press. At one point, in the winter, I gave some serious thought to leaving Immanion Press as the managing editor and heading for the hills as it were, but then the divorce happened and I figured that was a big enough change in my life. The purpose of Immanion Press, as it applies to occult books, is to publish the books other publishers won't touch and/or reprint what's out of print. And I think we've published some great books by some great authors and I hope we continue to.

What isn't realized, I think, is that for all intents and purposes Immanion Press is volunteer run. I don't really get paid for doing the editing, layout, or managing of other editors. It's a lot of work and it's mostly a labor of love, save on those occasions when it can become a labor of hate.

I won't be at the Esoteric Book Conference this year representing Immanion Press. Lupa will be there, and you can buy books from the press through her. I have mixed feelings on how much I will represent the esoteric book line in the future, since I no longer do any of the distribution for it, beyond my own books. I'll still do the managing editor part, but I figure it's time to focus on myself a bit more, which includes finishing some writing I've been working on, so I actually have a justifiable reason to show up at a conference.

Review of Sacred Kink by Lee Harrington

What I most enjoyed about this book was Lee's efforts to provide detailed information about each path and create a framework for people from multiple belief systems to engage in the incorporation of kink to their spirituality. Lee's expertise as both a sex educator and spiritual teacher shows through in this book time and time again. He provides excellent examples and also useful definitions for understanding each path. I found a lot in this book that I know I can apply to my own spiritual practices and I think anyone else would find a similar treasure trough.

5 out of 5

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Definitions, definitions, it's all definitions

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The more I focus on definitions, the more I realize how integral they are to any sense of self and identity a person has. We define everything to not only explain everything, but also provide structure and environment for ourselves, to create a sense of place in the universe, little realizing just how constructed all of it is. Truth seems to be that the majority of definitions used were created by someone else, and there's a kind of blind adherence to these definitions, without really questioning them. Maybe it's the belief that "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" I see the belief as being one of the primary blockers of innovation change. "You're reinventing the wheel." I've heard that one a number of times because I decided I'd question definitions. At least it is MY wheel.

Definitions seem to be integral to magical activity and theory as well. And I'm not talking about trotting out the rather tired definition of magic that Crowley belched out years and years ago. I'm talking instead of the realization that definition is an integral key for providing the framework through which an action can occur. No definition and you don't have an action, because there is an absence of environment for that action to occur in. Definitions provide structure, environment, a call to action. But they provide more than that as well. They provide insight into the unconscious, into the deepest layers of a person, and what makes that person tick. Definitions are the basis by which we make sense of reality.

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The key to wealth magic

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The key to wealth magic is this: Its less about using magic, and a lot more about learning how to manage money, develop and strengthen relationships, and understand that money isn't the only currency you have access to. Now let me unpack that statement for you. I noticed there were a couple other posts about wealth magic recently, and as someone who's started my own business and has managed to keep it running for just over two years, as well as helping to run a small occult press (Immanion Press), I thought I'd offer my own perspectives on wealth magic.

Money Management: I've always been good at managing money for the short term, but I first really learned about managing money for long term life plans when I did a year of work with the element of Earth. Not surprisingly, money became a major theme of that year. The first lesson I learned about money management is that your attitude and beliefs about money affect your spending choices and how you approach money in general. If you have a negative attitude about money you'll be less likely to actually look at your financial situation and start managing it.

I ended up doing a fair amount of internal work with my beliefs about money that year and I've continued to do so since then. The result has been an increased awareness of how to manage my money for the long term, as well as a willingness to discuss financial issues with my family and with financial advisers.

Alongside with changing my internal beliefs, I also developed tracking tools that I used to stay on top of what I'm spending my money on as well as what I can save. It gives me an accurate picture of what my spending habits are, which can be eye-opening to say the least. If you want to learn more about money management, I highly recommend reading the Get Rich Slowly blog.

Social Capital: Money isn't the only form of capital in wealth magic. Social capital can sometimes go a lot further than monetary capital. As a business owner one of the skills I've had to learn is how to build relationships with a wide variety of people. In fact, people won't do business with you unless they either really need your product or service and can't find it anywhere else (rare that this happens), or what happens more often...if someone refers that person to you, because s/he trusts you to take care of that person. People do business with people they trust...so who trusts you?

Trust is hard to earn and easily lost, and not surprisingly you really have to get involved in a community and get to know people to truly be accepted and get business from those people. And even if you're not a business owner, this concept about relationship building still applies. Getting to know people really involves learning what those people need and then helping them out, regardless of what pay off you will or won't get. And guess what? If you get involved in a community and work to build relationships and are consistent in fulfilling your promises to that community, then that community will look out for you. I saw this in action at a chamber of commerce meeting where a member generously offered to donate one of his kidney's to another member's wife who needed the kidney. They had the same blood type...more importantly the member who offered to donate the kidney did so because he wanted to help his friend. You can't buy that kind of help...not with money anyway.

Go to your local chamber of commerce meeting and you'll see social capital at work...and let me tell you that social capital is a lot more powerful than any wealth magic spell.

Those are the keys to wealth magic: Financial management and social capital.

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cell magic update

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I've been teaching my student about working with the cells of the body and also with the organs of the body. And as the teacher teaches, so too should s/he be learning and revising what s/he is doing. Because I'm working with her, it's allowing me to revisit these techniques in more depth. It also tells me that perhaps I should take students on more often, if only as a means of getting myself more involved in my own work past the experimentation stage. It's not that I don't continue to use the methods, but I don't use them as much, because I'm onto the next experiment. With the cell work, the focus has been on helping her learn to communicate with her body. Some of this has focused on communicating with different organs, but of late we've focused on communicating with a cell and our next step will be to use that cell to communicate with other ones. The benefit of this work is severalfold. For one thing you get in much better touch with your body, and what it needs, something people ignore all too often. The second benefit is in terms of healing, both yourself and other people, because you can learn quite a bit about the body's natural healing systems and then use those systems consciously to heal yourself faster. You also can help other people with their healing efforts, if you know what to boost when healing them.

To me that's the entire point of learning to work with your body consciously. How better than to improve your health and help other people. I don't, admittedly, think its replacement for getting medical services if you need them, but there's something to be said for learning to work with your body and learning to live with it a lot more consciously than I think most people do. Your entire body is a living being, not just the mind that happens to direct some of the activity.

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Working the web

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In my current work with the web of time, I've been working on changing the patterns of the web, which correspond to ongoing or potential situations that I'm involved in or will be involved in. I've been using the memory box and the Hexagon Elemental Tarot cards for this work. The memory box also acts as an access point to the silver web of time. Basically I use it to commune with the spider goddess of time and interact with her in the web. I use the elemental hexagon tarot deck to make changes in the web. The cards act as a grid system that I can use to change the web.

What I've been doing is accessing the web with specific situations in mind and then using the cards to create solutions for those situations that are favorable for myself. The spider goddess has been part of the work, specifically in terms of providing guidance on how to make changes to specific parts of the web or the overall structure.

What's interesting is that if you factor in the alternate universe model you can then access the alternate webs of time for your alternate selves and superimpose a pattern from that web onto your web. I actually did that today for a working I'm doing for my business so I can continue to build on the success I've been realizing lately in it.

You might wonder why I'm using cards for this process. Conceptually I find it easier to use the cards, because the different themes of the cards can be used to introduce specific concepts or ideas that you want to work with. Also, while I do have a mental picture of the web, the cards make it easier to change patterns or specific strands. In fact, by using the cards, I add a physical dimension to the working so it isn't all in my head. In the future, I'll do a video example of my work and share it on here.

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Space/Time Magic Class starting July 25th

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Space/Time Magic 1

When many magicians think of space/time, they may think of it in terms of physics or as a linear reality they need to deal with. However, space/time is more than just a linear phenomenon or an element of physics. In this entry level course, we will explore how to change our perceptions of space/time so that we can use those elements to make meaningful proactive changes to our lives and circumstances. You will develop a non-linear approach to space/time work that will enable you to access possibilities that would otherwise be blocked by a linear perspective.

In this 4 week class, you will learn:

  • Techniques to harness space and time and make proactive changes in your life, including the sigil web technique.
  • How to shift your thinking from linear to non-linear.
  • How to create specific magical tools for space/time work.

When you sign up for this class, you'll get a free signed copy of Space/Time Magic mailed to you, for use with the class, and also for your personal work.

  • Class starts July 25th and runs to August 22nd from 4-5pm PST 7-8 EST.
  • This is a teleclass, and you will get a recording of each class.
  • Cost: $179, which includes a FREE autographed copy of Space/Time Magic, and Recordings of each class, on a special page for members taking the class.

Take charge of your internal reality and through it your external reality. To sign up, make one easy payment of $179.

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The big challenge for internal work

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The big challenge for internal work is that you have to do the work yourself. You can get some help in terms of getting advise from friends or going to a therapist to help you process what you're working on, but when it comes down to it, you've got to do the work on your own. No one else can do it for you. That's what I thought as I listened to a friend talk about some issues that she's currently facing. And I also thought about abandonment issues and the times I would tell somebody that I wasn't going away or that I was there for them. No matter how much I might tell a person I wasn't going away, it would never be enough. I could tell that person until I was blue in the face...but if s/he didn't fundamentally believe it on the internal landscape it wouldn't matter.

When you're dealing with an issue, demon, or whatever you want to call it, the solution is found in you and your willingness to face the issue. Other people can provide support, but no one else can provide resolution, because none of those people have the solution. With internal work the necessary focus is on the internal, and finding the solution within, but many times people will try to look outside of themselves for the solution to an internal issue.

In general, when dealing with internal issues I've found a number of methods that are helpful. Pathworking, where you create an internal space to work through issue is one method, while sitting with your issue finding out what the underlying need is, and fulfilling it is another method. For more extreme cases, utilizing the chod ritual can be also be a way to work through issues. What's most important however is that you have the motivation to do the necessary work and follow through on it.

Here's the latest episode of magical experiments radio. The subject is entity creation.

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Changing what you've learned

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I recently finished reading a lot of Mantak Chia's works and implementing the practices into my daily work. I do find the practices useful, even if a lot of his books are repetitious. Even with that repetition, what I did get was a better sense of his process and how it works, as well as how to cut out a lot of the extraneous features, to still obtain the same result. Seems to me that's really how magic works. You figure out the process as another person describes, then you cut out what doesn't work, add what does, and work it. Certainly, I can appreciate that how Chia has presented his techniques work as they are, but I also could see where a couple steps could be dropped entirely to refine the process and still get the same result. And that shows me that any process isn't set in stone, and is always mutable. It's just dependent on whether or not the person feels confident about changing the process.

What do you think? How comfortable are you with changing what you've learned?

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The book game

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I read an interesting post today on rune soup about the book game: You pick ten books that you'd have a person read in order to create a specific "type" of magician. So, because I'm in the process of going through all my books, I thought I may as well do the same myself, only in my case, it would be to create an experimental magician. My list doesn't include any references to the sacred cows of occultism, because as I found myself, years ago, it was going off the beaten track in reading as well as practice that really allowed me to challenge the usual concepts of magic.

Book 1 Magical Ritual Methods by William G. Gray

In terms of thoroughness and ability to describe magical processes, William Gray is one of my favorite authors to read, and best of all the doesn't just stick with describing tried and true ideas, but offers his own ideas on subjects ranging from space/time magic to the role of symbolism in magic to elemental work. This book grounds the reader thoroughly in magical processes while also challenging the reader to think outside the box.

Book 2: Initiation into Hermetics by Franz Bardon

Initiation into Hermetics is another favorite book of mine, because the author challenges the reader to practice magic. To truly comprehend the book, you actually need to practice the techniques. At the same time the techniques are open enough to be experimented with, which makes them most efficacious.

Book 3: Relax into Being: Breathing, Chi, and Dissolving the Ego by B. K. Frantzis

The experimental magician needs to balance external work with internal awareness. The practices in this book focus the magician on cultivating more self-awareness, while also breaking down unconscious triggers and blockages.

Book 4: The Job: Interviews with William S. Burroughs by Daniel Odier

This book teaches the experimental magician the essentials of Burroughs techniques, and also shows them the value of unconventional approaches and thinking about magic.

Book 5: Watchmen by Alan Moore and David Gibbons

I've gotten a lot of ideas out of this graphic novel that pertain to magic. Moore and Gibbons pulled off some very interesting ideas and presented some useful information that can be applied to magic, provided you are willing to use the concepts in that way.

Book 6: Multi-Media Magic by Taylor Ellwood

Yes, I've included one of my own books and why not? in this one you get exposure to pop culture magic, but also some space/time concepts and even the proto theory I'd developed around identity and magic. It's a useful introduction to my previous works and definitely fits the spirit of the experimental magician.

Book 7: The Magician's Reflection by Bill Whitcomb

This is an excellent reference and resource guide for anyone who wants to develop their own system of magic. Since ideally the experimental magician wants to do that, this book would be perfect for providing some ideas.

Book 8: The Possible Human by Jean Houston

The only one of her books I actually liked, it presented a lot of ideas around space/time, inner alchemy, and other concepts that I think would be highly useful for the experimental magician to draw on. Definitely a resource book I still use.

Book 9: Real Magic by Isaac Bonewitz

Another of my favorite books on magic. Bonewitz's painstaking efforts to describe and define magic are useful in terms of getting a better understanding of magic and what one can do with it.

Book 10: The Apophenion by Peter Carroll

I like all of Carroll's works, but his latest one is useful for demonstrating how to create a system of magic around a concept. The experimental magician will find the ideas useful for space/time work as well as playing with the concept of chance.

So those are my ten books I'd recommend for the experimental magician, just starting out. They aren't all on the beaten track of occultism, but they all provide unusual insights and challenge conventional definitions and approaches to magic.

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How Magic Works is where I teach how to take a desire from intent to an actual result, step by step. Start the class →

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Disillusionment and magic

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Recently a friend of mine has mentioned that she's been going through a period of disillusionment about magic and that everything she tries to do doesn't work. And whether she realizes it or not, she's not alone in feeling this way. I've gone through my own feelings of disillusionment about magic several times. The first time was disillusionment with the occult subculture and the second time was personal disillusionment. Undoubtedly I'll probably experience such disillusionment again. And my conclusion about this is that actually such disillusion is healthy, even if at the time it doesn't feel that way. Each time I experienced disillusionment about magic, I ended up working through some serious doubts about the magic, but importantly about myself as a person. When we feel those doubts it can be hard, because we question everything, all our decisions, and we wonder, am I really doing thing, or am I deluding myself? But asking these questions also forces us to really evaluate the choices in our lives, the value of our beliefs, and even if the people in our lives are the ones we really want in our lives.

A crisis of faith is healthy because it forces us to stop taking our beliefs for granted and really dig into the core of those beliefs. The disillusionment I've felt has made me question why I believe what I believe as well as whether or not its really good for me to have those beliefs. And when I've come through it, I've felt a stronger connection to what I believe, and a better understanding of the place of those beliefs in my life.

What about you? Have you felt disillusioned and how have you dealt with it?

Book Reviews

Beyond Culture by Edward T. Hall I've always found Hall's books to be interesting and relevant to my life from business to spirituality and this book has lived up to that same expectation. In this book Hall, discusses inter-cultural communication patterns and raises up concerns about the tendency to focus toward using external resources as opposed to examining and utilizing internal, behavior skills. I find this relevant in an age where more than ever the focus is on using technology to communicate, with all the inherent problems that brings, especially when relying on text only to interact. This is a useful book for exploring cross cultural communication and examining the increasing role of technology in communication.

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Laban for All by Jean Newlove and John Daley

I was thoroughly impressed with this book. The authors did a thorough job of explaining the system of Laban and its relevance to dance, but also bringing it down to the level of an utter novice, such as myself. They also provided detailed descriptions of exercises that are easy to follow and do and quite rewarding. Where this book really shines however, is in the theory of movement that Laban created around space and time and other elements he deemed significant to truly understanding the body. I feel, as a result of doing the exercises, that I have a much closer relationship to my body and a much keener appreciation of movement.

5 out of 5.

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Managing Depression with Qigong by Frances Gaik

The author presents some useful evidence to prove that Qigong works to manage depression. What I would've liked even more was integration of Qigong exercises into the book. There was an appendix with some exercises, but it felt like the exercises were incorporated as more of an afterthought than anything else. This is a useful book for people who wish to make a case for alternative health practices, but isn't as geared to the lay person as I would have hoped.

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3 out of 5

The Taoist Soul Body by Mantak Chia

In this book Chia presents an advanced technique for Taoist inner alchemical work. While overall the information is good and in-depth, there are times were its clear Chia recycled content from previous books in order to fill out the book. Also some of the instructions are a bit more vague than they should be given the type of work involved. That said, if you've learned previous techniques it won't be hard to puzzle out what he means. The main thing to avoid is visualizing the work. You need to really experience it, and that's where the vagueness of the instructions is less than helpful. The technique in this book is worth reading and can be very helpful for body purification and health.

4 out of 5

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Want to actually do this, not just read about it?

How Magic Works is where I teach how to take a desire from intent to an actual result, step by step. Start the class →

Not ready to buy anything? Why Your Spells Don't Stick is a free guide to the most common reasons a working stalls, and where to start fixing it.

If you want help with a specific situation, work with me one to one.

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Is magic anecdotal?

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In my previous post about scientizing magic, one of the commentators inferred that evidence regarding magic and specifically spiritual entities was anecdotal and as such is not verifiable data. I disagree with that claim. Any magical working, including working with spiritual entities, involves a process. That process can be replicated by other people, which means it can be tested and verified by other people. Even putting that aside, if there are multiple anecdotal sources its rather cavalier to dismiss that evidence as unverifiable and unprovable, simply because that evidence doesn't fall into the scientific process. As is, open any book on magic and you will find that there are processes that can be replicated by other people, and as such results that can be verified by multiple people, if they choose to do so. As such, claiming that magic is only anecdotal data is a bit fuzzy, especially if other people can replicate your process and verify whether it works.

Magic isn't science, but magical practices can be verified by being tested. Obviously people wouldn't practice magic if they weren't able to get something out of it, but they also wouldn't be able to share their processes and practices if magic was only anecdotal. There would be no way to verify that magic worked if there weren't processes that could be replicated by other people.