Process of Magic Round 12 Starts January 28th

Magic is a process that changes you and your relationship with the world, if you understand how the process works.

In this 24 lesson class, we will explore what the process of magic is and how it applies to you and your magical work. If you're looking for a different perspective on magic that explores the underlying principles of how magic works, instead of focusing on the tools, ceremonies, and other optional features, this class is for you. Below are several testimonials from people who've previously taken this class.

Taylor Ellwood's approach to magic looks at your life, looks at what you want to change and then uses your magic to improve the situation. If it does not work, improve your magic! Magic is a creative process that ties intimately into our lives and changes not only an outward situation but the magician itself.

In the beginning you will take a look at that process, something I have never seen discussed before. After that Taylor Ellwood supplies a large tool box for magical work. It ranges from creative techniques like using cut-ups to the creation of magical entities tailor-made for the magician's needs. There are a lot of potential magical helpers on your way, gods and demons alike, and you will learn how to establish a healthy relationship with such beings that is mutually benefiting to you and them.

In no time you are doing magic that improves your life instead of reading about magic or pondering about what magic could do for you if only you could find the time to actually start practicing it. I can recommend this course for everyone who would like to become the active shaper of his or her live again.

Testimonial from Wolf Kaminksi

I'm really enjoying your class.  Especially helpful was how you showed the Tarot as offering up possibilities instead of viewing the cards in a rigid way.  I'm also working with the element of Earth for a year.  What I'm really finding from your class is that magic works.  You can't believe how many doors have started opening up for me that were right under my nose.

Testimonial from T. Vorster

Round 12 starts on January 28th. To learn more or sign up, go here.

How to Build Spiritual Muscle Memory

Whenever I'm learning a new technique, one of the things I seek to do is build up the spiritual muscle memory of the technique so that it becomes something I can do without necessarily putting a lot of thought into it. The reason I do this is because I find that to truly master a skill, you need to make it part of you in a way that doesn't involve thinking about it. It's not something you do...its something you become. Developing that kind of spiritual muscle memory involves a systematic approach to learning a technique. You break the technique down into steps and focus on learning each step.

When I learn a technique, I focus on one step at a time. When I was learning the five Healing sounds of meditation, I focused on learning one sound at a time, working with that sound until I felt like I knew it and also knew what the sound was supposed to do when I meditated on it. I imprinted the sound on my consciousness, making it part of me, so I wouldn't need to think of it. Then I'd move onto the next sound, learning it and integrating it into the previous work. By scaling my learning, creating distinct steps to learn the technique I was also able to make it part of my spiritual muscle memory. Once a step is mastered, I move on to the next step. By the time I've fully learned the technique it has become part of what I do without much thought, because I don't want thinking to get in the way of doing the technique. I want it to be an immersive experience and this occurs when you have spiritual muscle memory.

Spiritual muscle memory is a form of conditioning that allows you to train your entire being to become what you do. The technique resides within you, a part of your identity that moves you and moves with you. You know the technique and your knowing of it occurs in your ability to do it without putting much thought into what you are doing. Thought gets in the way of technique...it becomes a distraction that holds you back from the experience you could have. You will think a lo when you first learn a technique, but as you imprint it and make it part of you, you won't need to think about it. You'll become it, let it infuse you with what it is and as a result make it part of your expression.

Take a given technique as a whole and break it into steps. What is the first thing you need to do. Do it until you know it...until its something you do automatically, then move onto the next step and learn it in the same way. You'll find as you initially learn the technique that it will grab the whole of your consciousness, occupying you with the effort involved in learning it. But one you've learned the steps and made them into something you do automatically, it won't grab you in the same way, and this will free you up to go in deeper with the technique, to open yourself up to the experience that only comes when you know something. It's a deeper experience that allows you to get to the heart of what you are doing and make it into something that fits with other work you are doing. It becomes more complex and yet simpler as well. Simple in the doing of it, complex in the connections you make to the other work you do. The spiritual muscle memory supports it and allows you to go deeper, work more intensely with whatever it you are working on. That's why I build spiritual muscle memory with techniques, because it leads me to more immersive work, allowing me to plumb the depths of whatever I'm focused on.

The Elemental Balancing Ritual Stillness Month 2: Centering

11-29-2014 One of the things that Stillness does for you is help you be aware of what isn't still with you. In my case, working with stillness has made me more aware of how I repress my emotions as well as what that leads to. My response has been to express my feelings more than I have. Instead of repressing my frustration, I'm expressing it. I never been good at doing this, because I learned early on that expressing my emotions wasn't welcomed, but I don't want to live by that standard if I can help it.

Doing the stillness work each day has been fascinating, in part, because some of the other ongoing work I'm doing has slowed down. I don't have a problem with this because it feels right, part of really getting in deep with stillness. To know an element is to let it express itself through you, and that means allowing some changes to really get the element.

12-1-14 Today when I was doing my stillness work, I felt like what I really needed to do was be still with everything going on in my mind. My thoughts weren't still and instead of trying to still them I just let them go where they went and allowed myself to notice them without doing anything. Feeling so scattered can be frustrating, but it can also be liberating to just be with it instead of trying to do something about it. I've found through my meditation experiences that learning to let go and be with the experience is what really makes meditation effective. Anything else actually keeps you away from stillness...so in those moments when the thoughts go everywhere, let go and let your thoughts go everywhere. Observe them without doing anything and you will become the observer instead of the thinker.

12-4-14 The other day I told Kat that doing this stillness work isn't about a result, but about the process and so when I don't have any experiences while meditating, I don't take it as anything other than being still and in the process. I think it's important to note this because sometimes the focus is so much on achieving specific outcomes that the journey/process is forgotten about, but doing the work really involves a need to be present with what is happening even when nothing seems to be happening. Oftentimes what is happening is very subtle and yet it builds up until its ready to reveal itself...you just have to be diligent and do the work.

12-8-14 Today I had an experience with stillness, where I connected with how movement interacts with stillness. It felt like Stillness pulls movement toward it, like a black hole creating a gravity well that pulls everything into it. It was a strong pull that stilled the movement, but nonetheless also seemed to feed it, for what became still nonetheless also seemed to eventually move again, becoming displaced by what else was pulled to it.

12-9-14 Further work with stillness and movement, understanding that neither is stronger then the other, but rather that they serve complementary purposes, with movement going into stillness, but eventually becoming movement again, with stillness being the pause and timing to make sure things are done right. They fit together instead of being opposing forces.

12-11-14 Today I couldn't find stillness. Zadok told me that sometimes we have to work for it...it won't just come to us. Just because I am still doesn't mean I'm tied into stillness. It felt that way today.

12-12-14 Today Zadok explained that stillness was the centering of a person's being so that s/he could connect with possibilities both around and within. My experience of this was a connection with alternate versions of myself and simultaneously connecting with the possibility those other selves were part of. He explained that a person could experience variants of his/her life using stillness as a way to commune with the alternate self...so that you consequently live that life while still connected to the version you are. I've had experiences like that before, but what this meditation did was help me tune into those experiences much more consciously.

12-14-14 Lately I've been recognizing how part of me has been conditioned toward conflict. My relationship with Kat is very stable and yet some part of me finds that disquieting and waits for conflict to occur to feel safe. I told her about this realization this morning and she said that it makes sense in its own way. We've both lived in environments where there was lots of conflict and even if that conflict was unhealthy it was also familiar. I feel that consciously recognizing this is helpful to me because then I can work on it and be aware of it so that I don't sabotage my relationship with Kat. Telling her about it is one way to resolve it, but I've also just been allowing myself to acknowledge the vulnerability I fee in having a much more stable relationship than I'm used to.

I've also been meditating on food and how food has been a drive in my life. I realize that food has been such a drive not just because of survival, but also because it was one of the few ways I received approval in my childhood years. I always ate the food on my plate and that made my step-mom happy, so she'd comment on it. In retrospect I realize what made her happy was not having to deal with a fussy kid, but at the time, that was a rare form of approval that I received. Recognizing that is helping me to understand my relationship with food in a different way that I think will help me develop a healthier relationship with it.

12-19-14 The last couple of days has involved going deeper into stillness work, with a sense of being prepared for work in specific directions that were hinted at earlier by Zadok. The work would be with Xah and Teriel...so we'll see what happens.

12-21-14 Today in stillness meditation I felt myself a the center of the web of space and time. I was still. I didn't move until I felt the vibration of movement on the web. I was still, being with space and time, but not doing anything until there was a need to do something. I felt still, calm, connected to the universe, knowing any changes I made would be made from the right place to make them.

12-22-14 Falling in love and loving someone are two different experiences. Falling in love is really selfish in some ways, built as it is on the fantasies that you have about the person, the relationship you might have, the life you might live. It's very easy to get caught up in those fantasies, to let them create an idealized version of the person. Loving someone on the other hand is actually being present with the person. It's not a fantasy...it is the everyday reality of that person and your interactions with that person. Falling in love is glamorized, but loving someone not so much. Still I think loving someone is when you discover what you have with the person. It's no longer fantasy. It's reality based on the experience you are in, instead of projections about experiences you think you want to have.

Free Webinar on how to Create and work with Magical Entities on Jan 17th

I'm offering a free webinar on Jan 17th on how to create and work with magical entities. The webinar will also focus on working with pop culture magic entities. If you want to learn more, or to RSVP, go here.

Round 1 of the Space/Time Magic Foundations class starts in one week

The 1st round of the Space/Time Magic Foundations class starts on Dec 10th. Space/Time Magic is the expression of possibility upon reality, the shaping of linear space and time through non-linear means, if you know how to work with space and time as elements of magic.

In this 24 lesson class, we will explore the fundamentals of space/time magic, specifically how space and time can be integrated into your magical process as distinct principles and elements. If you are looking for a different approach to magical work that integrates the elements of space and time into magical practice, then this class is for you. Along with the 24 lessons, this class will include monthly teleconferences where you can ask me questions and share your experiences.

Want to know more or sign up? Go here.

The Importance of Tracking your Results and Process

Whether you are practicing magic for practical results or for spiritual communion or a combination of the two, its important to keep track of your results, as well as keep track of the variables that potentially effect your magical working. The reason tracking this information is so important is that it can help you determine how effective your magical workings are, as well as what variables need to be accounted for. And in some situations it also helps you determine what you've missed in previous workings so that you can refine them in the future. Recently a friend shared with me some magical work he was doing. I asked him to break the working down into a process he could track, and list all the variables associated with that process. By taking such an approach, my friend was able to discover a lot about the magical workings he was doing that he hadn't accounted for or tracked. It's not enough to track your result, though that can be helpful. It's important to track every aspect of the working so that you can fully understand what is going into it. When a magical working goes unexamined, what it presents is a lack of awareness that allows variables into play that could be accounted for otherwise. Those variables will change the efficacy of the working because they aren't unaccounted for. Tracking what you do, on the other hand, enables you to anticipate and plan for those variables, even making them part of the magical working, as opposed to something that distracts you.

When you can't account for what you are doing or have done, that lack of accounting even becomes a variable that effects your magical working. What is not tracked becomes resistance or pushes your working into a different direction than what you seek out. Typically the reason a magical working goes unexamined is for one of two reasons. The first reason is the lack of discipline on the part of the magician. The magician may explain it away as letting the magic do its work, but what this explanation is a lack of rigor on the part of the magician and an unwillingness to examine their magical work to determine if its even working. The second reason is because the magician hasn't been trained to track their magical work. They don't keep a journal to examine their magical work. In either case, starting to track their magical work will help the magician learn more about magic and what is or isn't working in what they are doing.

To track your magical work, first focus on defining the result. Then define the process that will help you achieve the result. Write out each step and account for the variables that influence each step. By doing this you'll develop an understanding of what you are actually doing. You won't simply be doing a ritual, but rather you'll be doing the ritual and understanding how that ritual ought to connect to the world at large to generate the result you are seeking.

Call for Papers: The Pop Culture Grimoire 2.0

Email for inquiries and submissions: Taylor Ellwood Megalithica Books, an imprint of Immanion Press (Stafford, U.K./Portland, OR, U.S.A) is seeking submissions for The Pop Culture Grimoire 2.0.

This anthology explores pop culture magic and Paganism in the 21^st Century. We invite you to share your pop culture magic practice, pop culture Pagan spirituality, and your experiments, spells, and other workings that have integrated pop culture into your spiritual practice.

Here are some suggested topics to give you an idea of the focus of this anthology:

• What is pop culture magic?
• What is pop culture Paganism?
• Pop culture spells
• Your experiences with a particular fandom
• Magic at conventions
• Cosplay magic
• Social media magic
• Blending older mythology with pop culture
• Your experiences sharing pop culture magic
• Video Game magic
• Pop culture music and magic
• Pop culture art and magic

Rough drafts are due March 15, 2015. These drafts will be edited in a back-and-forth process with the editors. Essays should be 1500-4000 words, although if your work falls outside those limits, do submit it – we can discuss this during the editing process. Drop us an email if you are unsure whether your idea fits into the content. The sooner you start the communication process the better, as after the deadline we won’t be considering additional ideas.

Essay requirements:

• Citations for all quoted, paraphrased, or otherwise unoriginal material • Bibliography of works cited • Prefer APA format

Write in your voice! If you’re academically inclined or trained, feel free to be as intelligent and technical as you like. If your work entirely talks in the first person about your own experience, please include this also. There is a wide range of voices, and we are interested in being as inclusive of style as possible.

Accepted contributors will receive a free copy of the anthology when it is published and additional copies sold at 40% off the cover price to contributors. All contributors will be provided with a contract upon final acceptance of their essays, not when they are accepted for editing. If your essay is not accepted for the anthology, we will tell you after the first round of edits.

The anthology will be edited by Taylor Ellwood and Emily Carlin.

Taylor Ellwood is the author of Pop Culture Magick, Magical Identity, and other books on magic. He is also the managing non-fiction editor of Immanion Press. He can be found online at http://magicalexperiments.com

Emily Carlin, author of Defense Against The Dark, is a Wellesley grad, lawyer, geek and specialist in Seattle haunted lore.  She presents regularly at PantheaCon, and teaches defensive and shadow magick at http://www.shadowkrafting.com

Immanion Press is a small independent press based in the United Kingdom. Founded by author Storm Constantine, it expanded into occult nonfiction in 2004 with the publication of Taylor Ellwood’s Pop Culture Magick. Today, Immanion’s nonfiction line, under the Megalithica Books imprint, has a growing reputation for edgy, experimental texts on primarily intermediate and advanced pagan and occult topics. Find out more at http://www.immanion-press.com.

Intensifying States of Consciousness through Sound

In my first month of working with the element of stillness, I've combined my practice of Zhine, which is a Tibetan practice of stillness meditation with the 5 Tibetan Healing sounds. I don't know if these sounds are intended to be used in conjunction with Zhine, but I decided to see what would happen if I focused on using the sounds to attune and manifest the element of stillness in my life and in the process of doing this, I've noticed some interesting results, in terms of the state of consciousness I've experienced while doing the meditation.

I start with just doing Zhine, focusing my awareness on a single point in front of me, blocking out everything else accept that point and myself. After I have been in this state for a time, I vocalize each sound. I'll vocalize each sound numerous times before moving onto the next sound, with the understanding that the vibrations of the sound are being used to attune my internal energy to the sounds, as well as to what I wish to manifest through the sound. In this case, it's stillness, and I use the initial experience of Zhine to set up the experience of stillness and then use the sounds to deepen that experience. As each sound is vocalized the state of stillness is intensified until the final sound, the manifesting sound is vocalized and the the state is held.

When I've done the sounds, and continued otherwise focusing my awareness on the space before me, I've found that I've hit a deeper state of altered awareness. The sound has helped to focus and deepen the manifestation of the element of stillness. I've also noticed an alteration in the light, or rather my perception of the light. This has happened with other meditations as well, but I've noticed that it typically occurs when you are able to sustain a specific state of mind for a longer period of time.

While this work has been done in the context of my stillness work, I think it could also be replicated for other purposes. I certainly see some potential for this intensifying of a state of consciousness for space/time magic work, but also if used for invocation and evocation or any other magical work that requires an altered state of mind.

Book Review: Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome by Joy DeGruy

If you want to understand the legacy of slavery in the U.S. then read this book. It will open your eyes to the impact that slavery continues to have on all of us. While the author focuses mostly on the effect slavery has had on people of color, she also explains the effect it has had on White people. What this book illustrates is how even today the institution of racism is in effect, and shows how the trauma of slavery has created a genetic impact that is reinforced by the racism that stills exists in U.S. culture. this book helps us to face these issues head-on and demands of us that we discuss them openly, explore them and continue the necessary conversations to help change this society into one that is truly equitable for all.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Stillness Month 1: Zadok

10-22-14 Today I did the necessary meditations to start my work with the element of Stillness. First I did the 5 warrior syllable vocalizations I've learned from Tibetan Sound Healing. Fittingly enough I learned the last chant today. What was really interesting was recognizing that this is a stillness practice that nonetheless leads to movement, to manifestation, with the last syllable focusing the desired intention of the practitioner and manifesting it outward. I've discussed this in further depth in a blog post, on this topic.

I also did the Tumo exercise of raising energy, in this case stillness. Stillness is different. There is no movement, no anything. It just is, so you raise that energy and it doesn't move so much as it just manifests and there you are, in this space of stillness, just being.

And then I did the connection and mediation of stillness with the spiritual guide I'll be working with: Zadok also known as Ronald Heaver. Interestingly enough when I did the connection I could not remember the mundane name of Ronald Heaver (though I was able to visualize his face) but I was easily able to remember his magical name Zadok and when we connected he explained that had been purposeful because he didn't want me to connect with the form of Ronald Heaver, but rather wanted me to connect with the deeper spiritual current of Zadok. He pointed out it was the same with me. Taylor Ellwood is the current form, but the magical current is Teriel and Xah, much deeper and different and I actually felt those currents within me stir and realized that part of this work will involve more consciously connecting with both Xah and Teriel.

In any case, I connected with Zadok and I felt him work with my energy and switch me over to stillness. I felt myself reach this place of stillness, of being that I've already experienced, but this time it was much deeper. He told me this year's work would build on the movement work by going much deeper and that it would have an effect on all the other work I'm manifesting.

10-24-14 I met with my astrologer today to do an updated reading. A lot of what he told me confirms other information I've gotten about what patterns to look for in my life and work on, but its good to have additional confirmation. One thing which really stands out from the reading is his suggestion to work more closely with the feminine within me. While I've always felt in touch with that part of me, I'll admit I don't think I have the healthiest relationship with that part of myself, so I'm going to sit with his advice and think of how I can work with that part of myself in a more conscious way.

10-28-14 I'm in New Orleans for a couple days while Kat goes to a conference here. I've been to New Orleans once before but it was ten years ago and I didn't wander around much. This time I actually have wandered around quite a bit. Both Kat and I noticed the raw, primal energy of this city, as well as the spirits that are here. I also noticed the smell. The energy of the land is strong and it wants to move you. I guess its fitting that my first month into stillness and I deal with movement, but in this case I don't want to move with it, so I've been holding on to my stillness, just abiding and being without changing anything.

10-30-14 Today's meditation with Zadok was interesting. He brought up Xah and Teriel once again and discussed how they were spiritual aspects that could be drawn upon not only for knowledge, but also a form of genius or daimonic inspiration. He also explained that being still isn't about emptying the mind, but with abiding with what ever is there, being present with whatever comes up instead of trying to get rid of it.

11-1-14 In today's work with stillness, I was struck again by how there is no silence. Whether its the mental chatter of the person or the environmental sounds around you, there is always something happening, which doesn't necessarily stop stillness, so much as when you are still you become aware of everything around you.

11-3-14 Sometimes stillness is found in doing something. Instead of trying so hard to be still, do something and allow the doing of it to bring you to stillness.

11-12-14 Sometimes when you write a lot of content, it can feel frustrating when you feel like you don't have something to share. I felt this way last week. And then I felt the stillness within me and I realized I didn't need to write. I didn't to try and make something come out. That perhaps the best thing I could do was be still and allow that stillness to settle the part of me that felt restless. So I did that and didn't write and I felt at peace about it.

11-16-14 The other night I had a dream about an ex. I was trying to bury the hatchet with her and everything I did was turned around and used against me by her. I realized the dream was a warning not to pursue any such attempts with that person, but what struck me the most about it was all this activity I was trying to do, and how what I really needed to do was be still instead of trying so hard to change something that wasn't going to change.

11-19-14 I have a tendency to take all the fault of a situation and put it on me. I learned to do this early on, with my dad and step-mother. I either hid what I did from them or I took on all the fault. Of course it didn't help that they would make it abundantly clear that I was at fault. Being told you are a disappointment has an odd effect of really fucking with your sense of self worth. In relationships I had with romantic partners this same pattern would replicate, through no fault of those partners. However this pattern makes it hard to work through an issue. I take a situation onto myself and pull it into me and stew in how its all my "fault." It's not healthy and while I've made some strides to make changes, it's quite frustrating at times because it is a resilient behavior informed by my fear of being abandoned. Fortunately Kat is quite willing to call me out on this behavior and do it in a loving manner that nonetheless reinforces the necessary boundaries. And that helps...because with something like this I can do the work, but I also need help at times with it. I couldn't have asked for that help in previous relationships because I didn't know how to be comfortable with my vulnerability, but fortunately with her I can do it.

11-22-14 It seems appropriate that I end this month with continuing my work with the Quabala. I've started reading and working through The Talking Tree by William Gray, which is a companion book to The Ladder of Lights. This book explores the paths between the Sephiroth. The first path is the Hierophant and when I did my meditation on it, Bill Gray showed up. I asked him why and he said, because that's what you expected, which I guess makes sense. He walked me through that path, explaining it in terms of how the Angelic orders of Kether and Chockmah connected together, each providing something to the other, which helped manifest the path.

In terms of the ongoing stillness work, I spent some time today being still with everything in my head, recognizing how many impressions of the world around me end up in my head and why its so important to declutter and be so particular with what you choose to feed yourself. I know this, but its worth stating again for myself as well as any other person who cares to read this.

The Space/Time Magic Foundations Round 1 class starts Dec 10th

The 1st round of the Space/Time Magic Foundations class starts on Dec 10th. Space/Time Magic is the expression of possibility upon reality, the shaping of linear space and time through non-linear means, if you know how to work with space and time as elements of magic.

In this 24 lesson class, we will explore the fundamentals of space/time magic, specifically how space and time can be integrated into your magical process as distinct principles and elements. If you are looking for a different approach to magical work that integrates the elements of space and time into magical practice, then this class is for you. Along with the 24 lessons, this class will include monthly teleconferences where you can ask me questions and share your experiences.

Want to know more or sign up? Go here.

The Book of Good Practices is now available in Print!

My latest Book, The Book of Good Practices, co-written with Bill Whitcomb is now available in print!

This book is a master toolkit containing the world's most effective ways to increase personal empowerment, freedom, and happiness! Learn how to practice core human skills that affect every aspect of your life, such as: Creating Well-formed Goals Decision-Making Cultivating Emotional Balance and Happiness Relaxation and Stress Reduction Pain Management Communicating Effectively Establishing Rapport with Others Improving Memory Increasing Concentration and Mindfulness Boosting Creativity and Imagination Growing Empathy and Compassion …and much, much more! This is a book about how to do things. We have tried to make it as difficult as possible for you to reject the material in this book out of prejudice against one tradition or another. If we have been successful, you will see that the only way truly to evaluate the practices in this book is to try them for yourself. The Book of Good Practices provides you the means and methods to transform your life. By using these techniques, you can determine what you want to change, and then create a plan of action to enable that change.

To order copies of this book go here.

How Pop Culture becomes Mythology

In my previous post, I discussed how older mythology shows up in pop culture. However that's not the only mythology that's present in pop culture. Pop culture creates its own mythology, or rather the various people that interact with pop culture help to create new mythology, rooted in the cultural artifacts produced in this era. This mythology of the modern era is found in the stories that are told through modern media, such as comics, movies, television, radio, and the internet. What makes these stories mythological is how people interact with them, how the characters come to life and what those interactions mean to the people having them.

Pop culture creates myths for the modern time, based in contemporary culture, providing people in this culture something they can relate to because of the context to their lives, and yet nonetheless also an offering of something more. What that something more is depends on the person. For example, I find that pop culture mythology provides me a connection to the spirits of this era, and while these spirits may be birthed in Fiction, they nonetheless have a reality to them created by the needs that they embody for people. Other people will frame the mythology in terms of psychological terms and yet others will dismiss it altogether, arguing for specific standards and definitions based on their own biases about what constitutes a spirit.

In my experience of working with pop culture characters, I found that what makes them into mythology and for that matter what makes them spirits is the intent of the interaction. For example, in working with Thiede from the Wraeththu series, I found that what made him real was my recognition that in fact there is a spiritual resonance I share with the character. I could identify with the character and that identification helped to move the interaction from reading into actual spiritual work where I encountered him as a specific being within my pantheon. Continuing to work with him created a deeper relationship, which has continued to develop as I integrate him into my spiritual work. I imagine the same is true for anyone else working with a pop culture character. At some point, as continued spiritual work is done, the character becomes more than just a character. And that change shifts everything because the identification you have with that character calls for an investment on your part that allows the character to be real, regardless of what the origin of the character is.

Another example I can think of is Batman. For me, Batman is part of my mythology, moreso than Superman or some of the other heroes, in large part because what makes Batman so interesting is that he doesn't have any powers. He's rich, but his intelligence and his other skills are things he's had to hone and work with over a long period of time. More than that though is the actual calculation of the character in choosing in his fictional world to become a mythological being, utilizing the emotional responses to him as part of his way of creating such a mythology. The way the writers of the series have written about him, specifically in relationship to the mythological aspects he embodies in his fictional reality, shows a meta narrative that evokes that mythology into this reality because of the character's awareness of myth and his choice to make himself into a myth in the minds of the people who interact with him (both in the fiction world and in the mind of the readers/viewers). That kind of intention on the part of the character demonstrates to me a presence of being that moves beyond the narrow limitations and definitions humans try to impose on what is or isn't mythological.

If we open ourselves to the idea that pop culture can be mythological, then we also open ourselves to having meaningful interactions with the spirits of this time. We allow ourselves to work with those spirits, and in that process enter into a different relationship with this era and culture, one that may ultimately be more healing for us. The relationship we have with this culture and with what is important to us in it, is just as important as any relationship we have with older cultures and the spiritual forces of those cultures.

Book Review: The Secret Tradition of the Soul by Patrick Harpur

In his latest book, Harpur explores the connection of the soul to identity, daimonic reality and sacred imagination. Much like his previous works, he draws together a wide variety of sources to offer readers a multitude of perspectives on the subject area. What I enjoyed most about this book is how the author deftly explores the soul in context to the various traditions he refers to, defining in the process what the soul is and what role it plays in our lives. He also does a good job of building on his previous works while also differentiating this book from those works. If you are mystically inclined or want to understand the nature of the soul this book will be a thought-provoking read that will inspire your own spiritual work.

Book Review: Spreadable Media by Henry Jenkins, Sam Ford, and Joshua Green

This book examines the concept of viral media and argues for a different paradigm based on participatory culture and fandom, where people choose to spread ideas and their interests to other people. It's a fascinating book that presents an alternative perspective on marketing, but also on pop culture studies, bringing those studies to the 21st century by focusing on the role of social media within pop culture. If you are interested in pop culture, you'll find this book useful for understanding how pop culture spreads and if you are interested in marketing this book will provide a different perspective to the prevailing wisdom of the time.

Process of Magic round 11 starts in one week

The process of magic class, round 11, starts on November 5th. In this 24 lesson class, we will explore what the process of magic is and how it applies to you and your magical work. If you’re looking for a different perspective on magic that explores the underlying principles of how magic works, instead of focusing on the tools, ceremonies, and other optional features, this class is for you. We take apart various practices of magic and then put them back together with a deeper understanding of the mechanics of magic. Below are a couple testimonies from other people who've taken this course in the past:

Taylor Ellwood’s approach to magic looks at your life, looks at what you want to change and then uses your magic to improve the situation. If it does not work, improve your magic! Magic is a creative process that ties intimately into our lives and changes not only an outward situation but the magician itself.

In the beginning you will take a look at that process, something I have never seen discussed before. After that Taylor Ellwood supplies a large tool box for magical work. It ranges from creative techniques like using cut-ups to the creation of magical entities tailor-made for the magician’s needs. There are a lot of potential magical helpers on your way, gods and demons alike, and you will learn how to establish a healthy relationship with such beings that is mutually benefiting to you and them.

In no time you are doing magic that improves your life instead of reading about magic or pondering about what magic could do for you if only you could find the time to actually start practicing it. I can recommend this course for everyone who would like to become the active shaper of his or her live again.

Testimonial from Wolf Kaminksi

I have been reading and experimenting with magic and the occult for over five years and it seemed like I was going off in too many directions, without a map to guide me. I felt like I was spinning my wheels. This course helped me focus, without tying me into any particular Religion or belief system. If you are looking for a course that builds a foundation for your understanding and practice of Magic, this is the one!

This course has been amazing and I truly value your knowledge, experience and writing ability. I also like the fact that you are innovative and creative in your approach and take a progressive view of magic and are not mired down in some conservative tradition or other. You are on the “cutting edge” of magic and I am sincerely grateful to have the opportunity to take courses from you! Last but not least, you are ethical, conscientious and relate very well to your students.

Testimonial from G. Marlett

To RSVP, please go here.

Attuning the Spirit Cord through Vocalization

One of the practices I've been working with lately is the vocalization of specific sounds for the purposes of clearing the energetic body of blockages, as described in Tibetan Sound Healing. As I've been doing this work, I've also been using the vocalizations to attune my spirit cord to my internal energy, as well as doing the vocalizations to clear out any energetic vibrations that don't belong in the cord. When I've done this work with the cord, I've vocalized the sounds and connected them to the astral version of the cord to vibrate and attune it to the sounds. My reasoning on this really is to actually set it up so that the cord enhances ongoing work I'll be doing using the 5 sounds. By attuning the cord to the sounds, I set it up to enhance and amplify the later work, since the spirit is a record and resonance of the magical work you do with it.

The way the 5 warrior sounds work is as follows: You pick something you will attune to, an emotion or an experience, and then you use each sound to vibrate your chakras or internal energy fields, if you prefer. You do this to simultaneously cleanse the chakras of blockages and to attune them to the specific emotion or experience you want to manifest into your life. What's fascinating to me is that this practice can be done in conjunction with the Zhine practice of stillness, helping you to enter into a deeper state of stillness. Equally of interest is the first sound and last sound are tied together.

The first sound is A (ah) and its used to set the stage for stillness work, helping you to enter a state of mind where you are just being. The last sound Dza (Tsa) is the sound of manifestation, and yet it also ties into and connects with the A sound that the practitioner uses. Tenzin explains that Dza will not work well unless you have some sense of A. What all this really means, in my experience of it, is that you are using all of the sounds to create a path of manifestation and doing just one sound will not effectively create this path, but using all of them will because of how the prepare and focus your internal energy, aligning it to the emotion or experience you want to manifest.

I'm actually using these sounds as part of the elemental balancing work I'm doing with stillness, in conjunction with attuning the spirit cord to the sounds. By attuning the sounds to the spirit cord, I can draw on the past experiences of them stored in the cord and use that to amplify the vocalization of the sounds for the various purposes I'm applying this practice to. In the case of the stillness, work, I enter into a state of Zhine and then vocalize each sound, which puts me into an even deeper state of stillness. The Dza sound is used to manifest the element of stillness into my life directly, so that I can work with it and learn from it in the various experiences I have in the living of my life.

The vocalization has become part of my daily practice. I suspect I'll primarily use it in conjunction with the ongoing elemental work I do, but I also think it could also be used to charge and fire a sigil or for any other related purposes a magician can think of, so long as the principle of manifestation is understood.

Radio Interview: I was interviewed by Scroll of Thoth on my birthday about pop culture magic, magical identity and other topics of interest.

Book Review: Tibetan Sound Healing by Tenzin Wangyal Rinpoche

This book provides detailed instructions on how to work with the five warrior sounds. The accompanying cd is really useful for helping you to learn the sounds, as well as get into the meditation. I've found that combining this with zhine practice is particularly useful, but you can also do this sound work on its own. Highly recommend for anyone interested in learning more about Dzogchen and also learning how to work with sound and energy work. The exercises in this book will help you with any kind of internal work you are engaged in.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Movement Month 24: Transition

9-24-14 This is the last month of the movement working and its a bit odd to realize that because I've spent almost 2 years working with this particular element. I feel like I've only dug in a little ways to movement in all this work I've done, but I've not doubt that there will be more realizations and deeper worker to come and I feel that I have reached a place of balance with this work. I also feel that the Plutonian current I've been dealing with, the night of the dark soul, is receding. When you do this kind of work you become attuned to the currents of energy or spirit you're working with and what I feel is I'm in this place of transition, movement slowing into stillness.

I also started work with Chockmah today. What was interesting about that meditation was recognizing that Chockmah is the beginning of limitation, the initial formation of possibility becoming reality, contained in a very conceptual form that then impregnates Binah, which provides further limitations. Nonetheless I recognized how a biological imperative is placed on the tree, male leading into female which then begats the next layer of the tree and I wondered what it would like if the direction of manifestation went counter clockwise instead of clockwise. This inspired me to think about the quiploth and at some point I must do some research to see if there anything to that, but it also strikes me as a limitation of the tree, bound to a physicality that may or may not be accurate. Of course I also need to recognize the lens of what I'm reading and how that shapes this perception as well.

9-26-14 I'm coming to the conclusion that for the most part weekend intensives don't work, though it probably also doesn't help that my intensive is happening during Mabon, which automatically seems to draw people away, but even without that I've come to recognize a trend that indicates that its probably better to just do webinars and teleclasses with occasional appearances at festivals and bookstores. It's frustrating to figure all this out the hard way, but sometimes its how you learn. My problem here admittedly is that  don't really pay attention to holidays in general and so that hurt me with this particular weekend initiative.

On a different note I've been losing some weight and that makes me happy to actually see it happening, but it also makes me think about what I'll do to make it actually work down the line when I'm not dieting any further. In Ladder of Lights Gray discusses the Auphanim, which are the angelic order of Chockmah. According to him they are the mills of God, creating and sustaining cyclical patterns until a person doesn't need the pattern any more. I've been contemplating that all day, seeing it show up in multiple ways in my life, and thinking of how those patterns are broken down by the work a person does that necessarily involves learning how to end a pattern instead of stay in it.

10-02-14 I finished up working with Chockmah today. When I worked with Ratziel, he showed me his book, but told me there was nothing in there I didn't already know, if I was willing to do the work. And I agree with that, because I find that Chockmah makes a lot of sense to me. Chockmah is patterns within patterns forming into more patterns that convey concept into reality. I do find it very interesting that as I continue this climb up the ladder, I'm also coming to a close with the movement work and getting ready for stillness. Kether is, I think, an embodiment of stillness in its own right, with motion moving toward stillness, and eventually into motion again.

10-6-14 In working with the angelic order of Kether, the impressions I've experienced has been as Kether as the first impulse...yes is everything and nothing, but its also the motivation to do something, to become something distinct from everything else. And when you consider that Kether is ultimately a label to that effect, which describes a Sephiroth, it makes a lot of sense. Kether is that beginning movement of becoming, that initial urge to do something.

The last week has been pretty challenged and at one point Kat asked me what the lesson was and I realized it was that I'm feeling blocked. So I took the weekend off and didn't do anything related to work. Sometimes I think people are so focused on trying to move, trying to find a way to get past an obstacle, they forget the value of just stopping and doing something else or nothing at all. Certainly I'm one of those people.

10-7-14 I connected with Metatron today, who pointed out something significant to me. He explained that even Kether has its own limitation and that the tree itself is a form of limitation that presents a specific way of working with reality that fits the needs of the people utilizing it but also limits those people to that system and the limitations within it. And it's a good point to make...any given system has its own limitations which need to be recognized because at some point a person can and often does evolve past it.

10-8-14 I'm feeling restless and depressed lately. I think it's the fallout from the recent trip, so I'm doing my best to sit with the emotions and get clear on what I'm feeling and why. Perhaps part of it also is that I'm going to be 38 soon. I realize that and I look at my life and it just seems like so much of it has been a mess, which I've managed to get somewhat cleaned up. I know there's plenty of accomplishments there as well, but I think you only really start to come into your own when you've lived life a bit. My twenties were me learning something of what being an adult is about, and my thirties has really been about establishing an identity of who and what I am and do. I'm realizing that and it just hits me I'll be older than my parents when I was born and what I have to show for it...depends on how you look at it I guess, but I actually think I have a lot to show for it...if I'm willing to recognize it.

10-9-14 I finished up with the Ladder of Lights today. There was something in it that Gray wrote: "We neglect Nothing at our greatest cost, for it is the universal element, the ultimate thought, and the unique source of all energy." That's my experience with nothing. Nothing and yet everything all wrapped up on the razor edge of Zero. I hadn't read the Ladder of Lights in a long, long time, but its been good to re-read it and to experience it in a different manner which is more focused through the practice I created around it.

10-15-14 I had an interesting dream last night. I dreamed I was interacting with the experience a person has with eating a Subway sandwich. It was pretty surreal, but it essentially opened my mind to some possibilities with pop culture magic that I'll explore in more depth in the book. The dream came about as a result of feeling a bit of anxiety over the fact that another person is presenting on the topic of pop culture magic. On the one hand, I'm glad someone else is doing presentations and on the other hand, there is a bit of possessiveness on my part and also the fear that what I plan to write will be obsolete, but the dream confirmed something for me and proved quite helpful in put that fear to rest. I realized that my own perspectives are unique enough and that other people presenting shows that pop culture magic is finally reaching that place of acceptance I'd always hoped for with it.

I also had an interesting experience with the Tibetan sound work I'm doing. I decided to do the chanting with the purpose of attuning the spirit cord to the chanting. I felt the astral version of the cord vibrate with the sound, attuning itself to the purpose of the sound and amplifying the effect. Further experimentation is warranted.

10-16-14 I'm feeling frustrated with myself. It feels likely lately I'm making all the wrong decisions or at least acting before I fully think things through. The intentions are good, but the results are less so. Ugh. I think I need to slow the fuck down, which is why it'll be good for me to take on stillness. Sometimes you get so caught up in the movement of life you don't do the necessary due diligence...there's no excuse for that.

10-21-14 Today is the last day of the movement work. I did my invocation of Eros and thanked him for all his help. I know I'll work with him again, especially because there is so much more to tap into with this particular element. I feel even, with 2 years in, I could spend much more time, but I'm also ready for Stillness and I know I will learn things about movement from Stillness. Actually when I think about Stillness, I recognize that I've been integrating stillness practices into my life for the better part of this last year. It's an interesting demonstration of how the elemental balancing work ends up blending together. Tomorrow I will do the ritual to set up stillness as the element to work with for this next year, in full.

Last night, I spoke with Kat about the elemental balancing ritual. I asked her if it was ever a burden for her, me doing this work, and she told me it wasn't...that she accepted it and understood its significance in my life and that she felt it had reverberations in her life as well, but that she welcomed them as part of being involved with me. It meant a lot to me, to hear that support for my spiritual work and the acceptance of just how important this balancing work is to what I'm doing overall. Having a partner who fully gets and supports this work and what it means not just to my personal development, but also the overall work I'm doing with magic is truly a blessing.

Happy birthday to me!

The Engagement of Books into Practical Applications

I've just finished reading and working my way through The Ladder of Lights by William G. Gray, which is a book on the Sephiroth of the Quabala. I'd read the book many years ago, but decided recently to revisit it and this time I didn't want to just read it. I wanted to experience it. So I decided that I would approach reading the book a bit differently. Instead of reading a chapter, I decided to read a section of a chapter and then work with the concepts and entities discussed in that section. The actual work consisted of meditation and pathworking as well as mediation of the forces worked with via my spirit cord.

I found that creating a program of practice around the book made the concepts within it come alive in a way reading it simply wouldn't. I've shared some of that work in my monthly postings about my elemental balancing work. The engagement with the angelic orders and the archangels was particularly useful, creating a kind of initiatory journey through each Sephiroth in order to experience and process what each Sephiroth does as a principle of manifestation.

One of my complaints sometimes about occult practices is how books don't set up the necessary engagement a person needs with the concepts shared in the books. Or the book will set it up as a cookbook recipe approach to magic, which is also less than useful, if you want to go into the depth of the work. However I think if you can approach a given book with an intention of how you can turn the content into a meaningful practice, what you'll discover is that you can get a lot from it, even if there is no practice application included in the book. You just need to be prepared to come with your own tool set, but really if you are actively practicing magic, this shouldn't be difficult. And if it is difficult, it is time to start doing the work.

I'm going to start reading and working through the Talking Tree next and I'll take a similar approach to working through the material, using both meditation and mediation to connect with the essential powers that be and the underlying concepts that create the tree of life. When you work with a book, the key is to dive deep and work with the underlying principles and processes of magic. Ultimately that's what you are trying to get to...a fundamental understanding of how magic works or why it works and then taking and applying that knowledge and information into practice to change your life. If what you are reading isn't being applied, it will never change your life or change the way you experience the world...not on a deep level and that deep level is where we want to go with our practices and with whatever we engage in.

Book Review: The Ladder of Lights by William G. Gray

By far, this is one of the best books on the Sephiroth of the Quabala. Gray does an excellent job of breaking each Sephiroth down by planet, angelic order, archangel and god name association and explaining the Sephiroth in each of these levels. You'll also find that this book is easy to adapt to whatever practice you want to use to work with the Sephiroth. If you want to learn the Quabala, this is a good book to start with.

The Spirits help those who help Themselves

Recently,  an acquaintance shared some difficulties he was having with some magic work he's been doing. One of the observations I made based on what he'd shared is that he's relying to much on spirits or magical entities to do the work for him. While working with a magical entity can be quite useful, there are limitations to its effectiveness and much like anything else, too much reliance on an entity can ultimately be a crutch to your magical practice, especially if you consider that the entities you work with have their own agendas and interests, unless its one you've created (and that has its own limitations). The truth is your average spirit doesn't want you bothering it all the time with requests. The spirits help those who help themselves.

In my work with various spirits, I always create a very specific relationship, and one aspect of that relationship is that I typically ask the spirit to do something for me that I couldn't do on my own. I don't ask it to do anything I couldn't do mundanely or magically, because doing so is a waste of the entity's talents, and is also laziness on the part of the magician. For example, if I'm looking for a place to live and decide to employ magical means to get the place, I probably won't call on an entity, because both magically and mundanely I have the necessary skills to get into a living situation that I want to be in. I know my own skills are sufficient for that task. On the other hand, I'll create an entity to help me become aware of opportunities I might otherwise ignore or miss out on, because the entity will have a perspective I don't have that can be useful for discovering opportunities. I'm employing the entity to use the skills that it has, in a manner which draws on its strength, while filling in a gap that I might not otherwise be able to address. It's better to employ an entity for a purpose that allows you to leverage its strengths for something you can't do on your own, then to waste its skills on something you can do.

Another way that I like to work with spirits involves getting the advice or knowledge on a given subject, either by asking them to point me toward the best resources, or if possible, do a direct download of information. The majority of times its a combination of the two. The reason this works so well is because the entity is providing you with something you don't have already and may not have the best skill at finding. An entity is happy to do this because it ultimately still involves you the magician doing the work. Sure the entity points you to information, but you actually have to follow up and learn it and then do something with it.

There's a theme here: Its better for you to attend to the detail work of manifesting desired possibilities into reality. Let the spirit handle the things you can't easily do or do at all. That's where the specialty of the spirit comes into play, and where it will be most useful to you. Anything you can do, plan on doing it yourself either magically, mundanely, or better yet both ways. Speaking of which: Take a multi-pronged approach and work with the spirit, but also add in your own magical work and mundane actions. It's better to implement multiple approaches to achieve your desired result, and better to take action, instead of just relying on an entity. In fact just relying on entity is the lazy magician's surest way to fail.

Space/Time Vibration Magic

In my system of space/time magic, vibration plays an integral role in the manipulation of possibility into reality. I see vibration as an integration of time into space, wherein space is the palette or medium through which time is expressed. In my magical work, I've integrated vibratory work in a lot of what I do, with the idea being that different types of vibrations can be used for specific purposes. For example, when I do my invocation of the element I'm working with, I vibrate a specific sound that is used to channel the element both inward and outward. It vibrates inward through my physical and spiritual being, attuning me to the elemental force, even as it vibrates outward, aligning the environment around me with that same energy to create a field of elemental energy that brings that element into my reality and the experiences I have with it.

I've found a similar practice in Dzogchen, albeit done for a different purpose than my own. In Tibetan Sound Healing, the author explains that vibration practices are used to clear the space of a person of the internal blockages, desire, etc that obscure the person from reaching a state of stillness. In my own experiences with Zhine, which is a stillness practice of Dzogchen, I've noticed how being still initially brings to my awareness the desires, worries, etc. that come up in my life. I've actually used Zhine as a meditation for space/time work by using what's brought up during the stillness practice as a form of possibility exploration, but in the book I mentioned above, the author also includes certain vibratory practices that are used to attune the internal energies of the practitioner to the space of stillness, while clearing out the distractions. The author explains the following:

"You connect to the clear space because the energy and emotion that you brought to consciousness has been released. When the block dissipates, you feel some space. That space is something you want to recognize. You want to recognize and abide or rest in that space without changing anything." As you can see reaching this state of awareness is really about being still and not doing anything...just being. Doing anything brings back the attachment or blockage.

To clear the space, involves the vibration of specific sounds. For example, the sound A is vibrated in order to attune the practitioner to the space and clear out blockages from your inner energy and the environment around you. I've started doing this vibratory work in conjunction with my Zhine practice and what I found is that it brought a clarity of being to the experience of Zhine, a deeper being with stillness, because the sound opened me up to that space of being. When I do the Ahh sound and infuse it with vibration it opens the mind up, deepens the state of stillness and the awareness of possibilities.

Now in my work with space/time magic, a lot of the focus has shifted to identity work. And how all that connects to this vibration work is that by opening yourself up that state of stillness, that space of being, what you also open yourself up to is the experience of possibility. The choice to become a possibility moves you from a state of 0, of being, to a state of 1, of doing, reintegrating into linear time and space with the possibility as the new reality. This approach is admittedly different from the person of abiding in a state of stillness, but if we're serious about space/time magic then I think the exploration of vibration to achieve a state of stillness, where all possibilities are experienced and then choosing one can be quite useful. What this also illustrates is how a given system of practice can be adapted and applied in ways the originators wouldn't have used it. I know that my application of Zhine and the vibratory practices doesn't align with the stated purpose of the practice in Dzogchen, so I wouldn't call what I'm doing Dzogchen, so much as a derivation I've devised that utilizes the practice as a from of space/time magic work. As I continue to learn the vibratory practices, I'll see what else develops, but I already think that the vibrations could not only help you reach a space of altered consciousness, but also use that state to sync yourself to the specific possibility you want to manifest.

Non-Anthropomorphic Pathworking Technique: Sound

In a previous post, I discussed how tactile awareness could be used for non-anthropomorphic pathworking. This time we're going to explore how sound and vibrations can be used for a similar purpose. Similar to touch, our hearing can actually help us connect with spirits, entities, and life in general in a non-anthropomorphic manner, if we train ourselves to use it for that purpose. In general, we use our hearing to help us with communication and not surprisingly part of what goes with communication is an expectation about how communication will happen. Humans use words, so we tend to expect communication to occur via words, even though that may not be the preferred communication of what we're connecting with. How often have you done a ritual working to a spirit and found yourself having a conversation with the spirit? Chances are you used words and expected words in return and perhaps the spirit accommodated you because of that expectation. How might it have communicated if words hadn't been the expectation?

We live in a world of sound. Even when we think we are in silence, we generally are still experiencing sound of some type in the world around us. Not all of that sound is used for the purpose of communication, but sound can tell us a lot about the environment around us (and within) and what might be in the same vicinity as us. If you have a pet in your life, you also know that pets can communicate with you via sound, and tat you'll interpret that sound accordingly. For example, I know the difference between the hungry meow when my cats want food and the meow when my cats want attention. There's a difference in tone and how the meow sounds. Communication is happening, but not via words, but through sound itself and my interpretation of what that sound means.

In part of the work I did with the microbial life in my body, I used sound as a way to connect with that microbial life. For example, I used the sounds of hunger and digestion to connect with the bacteria in my stomach. What I did is meditated and carefully focused my hearing on listening to the internal sounds of my body. So I'd meditate when I felt hunger and used the hunger sounds of the stomach to connect with the bacteria and then did the same with the noise of digestion after I ate. Hunger and digestion are two different sounds, so it gave me a chance to connect with the bacteria in each stage. The sounds weren't necessarily made by the bacteria, but it seemed to me that the sound was part of the experience and I used it as a way to connect.

When I do work with spirits around me or with some other type of life, I do my best to just open myself up to the sounds conveyed to me. If words are used I'll accept them, but I don't expect them because I realize there may be another way to communicate. Recently I did a working with the Chasmalim, which is the angelic order of Chesed. The way they chose to communicate with me involved changing sound frequencies in combination with light. My receptiveness to this communication helped me understand how they work and what they do in their roles of mediating the energy of Chesed.

As you can probably tell this kind of work doesn't happen with just sound or touch or sight. Usually its a combination of the senses, which is understandable because that's how we experience the world in general. What this kind of work teaches us is that the experience of non-anthropomorphic work will occur across multiple senses and we should necessarily open ourselves to using more than one sense if needed in order to have an experience with a spirit, entity, etc that we are seeking to connect with.

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I was interviewed on Pagan Musings Podcast about the difference between BNPs and leaders in the Pagan community.

Book Review: Fandom, Identities, and Communities in a mediated world edited by Jonathan Gray, Cornel Sandvoss, and C. Lee Harrington

This is a collection of essays on pop culture studies, circa 2006, so some of the content is a bit dated, but all of it is interesting to read. However, one thing which stands out to me about this book is that many of the essays never really focused on identity in relationship to pop culture. I mention that only because I'd hoped to see more focus on that topic, and of course its in the title of the book. However what I did like about the book is that a number of essays focused on non-traditional fandom, with a focus on classical music, sports, and news fans, among other types, which made for some thought provoking reading. If you're interested in pop culture studies, or like me if you want to see what you can apply conceptually to practice based approaches to life, this book may provide some useful insights.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Movement Month 23: Closure

8-23-14 My mom has arrived from PA and is visiting for the week. We picked her up last night from the airport and when we got back I caught up with her for a while. We ended up talking about some past history and I got some validation about some feelings I was working through. So did she. It helped me a bit with the funk I've been in. Though I actually figured out something else about that feeling of depression. It's not so much a feeling of depression as it's a recognition of the transition from movement to stillness. Stillness feels disquieting, weird, and off to me right now, and I think part of how I've dealt with that has involved translating it into a feeling of depression. There's other factors too, but it is part of what's going on. That's the challenge with doing this kind of elemental work...you change from one element to another and it shifts your energy and experience accordingly.

8-26-14 So much on my mind right now as I write this. I feel a different sense of appreciation for my mom than I've ever really felt before. Having become a step-parent, I have some sense of the commitment, sacrifice, and responsibility involved in being a parent and it makes me appreciate my mom in a way I never did before. I see a lot of the choices she made in a very different light now, and while there's still a couple decisions she made that I disagree with, I find myself recognizing her as a parent through some of my own challenges around being a step-parent.

Part of what I'm also feeling is some sadness about her leaving. She's not leaving for a few more days and Kat pointed out that I seem to be front loading my sadness before the actual event. The truth is that I've always done this since I was a little kid. I found I had to do it to prepare myself for leaving her. I would only see her every other holiday and for six weeks out of the summer. It was hard to leave her and I always had to prepare myself emotionally by front loading that grieving so that when I got back to my dad's I could distance myself from it. In some ways, I think it was expected in his household, for I remember only crying at night, in the privacy of my own room, knowing I shouldn't show such emotion anywhere else.

This visit, just like the previous visit from my dad, has shown me some deeper parts of my mom, helping me to see her more authentically as the person she is. I feel its all related to this current work I'm doing, transitioning from movement to stillness and finding balance with these respective energies. It's also an iterative process of contextualizing people in my life in such a way that it allows me to process and understand them better because of this internal work I'm doing. I find that by doing this work it helps me continue to understand and work through my relationships with those people, as well as the internal blockages that come up as a result. It also demonstrates, to me, how internal blockages can show up in relationships you have and thus need to be worked through in order to come to a better place with the other person.

8-27-14 I've been reflecting further on my relationship with my mom, while she's here. I realize that my cooking and cleaning skills as well as my awareness of when to chip in and help out at home really originates from her and what she taught me. I feel this deeper sense of appreciation for her as a result, because I feel I have certain skills I might not have had otherwise. Because of those skills, I'm able to help out around the house in a way that isn't typical when it comes to men. I hear many stories about men who don't help out, who expect their wives to do everything and its likely because they learned that from their mothers. My mom taught me to help out, taught me to recognize that where I'm living is something I need to invest in, with my own efforts. She taught me not to expect to be waited on and for that I am so grateful. I feel a lot of resentment falling away in light of this visit, because I'm appreciating her in a new light, appreciating how she set me up to be an adult.

8-29-14 Today my mom headed home. Yesterday we played a couple games of Sorry. Before that I opened up to her and asked her if she loved all of me. She's never agreed with some of my choices, but I'd internalized that as a rejection of me and hearing her tell me that she loves all of me made a difference. I feel that this visit with her and the visit I had with my dad showed me certain things about both of them that I needed to see, which I feel is relevant to this work I'm doing. As I continue this transition into stillness, the movement I'm engaged in nonetheless sets the stage for the stillness work so that I can go deeper, as well as even setting the stage for further work down the line.

9-5-14 I've been doing a lot of work around Geburah. This is definitely a sephiroth that can kick your butt because it represents the forces of judgement. In my encounters with the Seraphim and Khamael, I was called out by each in respect to some of my choices and what I tell myself about those choices. Such judgment isn't easy to face, but it can burn away what you tell yourself and I think that's really useful. The magician needs to be honest with themselves, and if that doesn't happen, it inevitably stops the progression of the work you are doing. I spent a lot of time with this sephiroth working with that current for that reason.

I also got a new tattoo or rather a revision to an old tattoo. I've been feeling like I'm transitioning from Movement to Stillness, and so I got a script on my right forearm, which says "From 1 to 0" which is really a channeling of that transition, but also a comment in its own way on my work with emptiness and identity. The work doesn't stop...it just evolves and continues to change, but it is still and iterative process that allows the person to refine themselves.

9-10-14. I've been working with Chesed lately, particularly with the Chasmalim, which have shown up and communicated via light frequencies. It's quite an odd experience, but one I've opened myself to, recognizing that it is also representative of going higher up the tree from reality to concept. The different light frequencies seem to inspire emotional and feeling related responses from me.

Something else I've been doing is paying close attention to how I label myself and my behavior in relationship to other people. For example, I've found that I label myself as not very personable and I ask myself where that label comes from and I find that it shows up in my interactions with people...but is it accurate or just self-fulfilling. I'm not sure, but in paying attention to such labels, it also provides me the opportunity to change them if I so desire or understand them better. I'll admit I tend to look at situations with other people in terms of function and do consequently find it harder to sometimes relate to people, but I also know that can be worked with if I choose.

9-12-14 Yesterday and today I encounter Tzadkiel in my meditations on Chesed. He noted that compassion and Mercy can actually be harder than judgment, because judgment enables us to punish ourselves, but compassion forces us to face and recognize the truth of our actions and their consequences. I really sat with that and found myself agreeing. You can feel compassion for someone or yourself, buy you nonetheless know what the person has done and that person knows you know as well. It seems kinder and gentler, but maybe it really isn't.

9-15-14 Something which has come up this year, or at least has made itself much more known to me is the travel anxiety I feel. It ended up coming out in a big way last night. I think I feel it so much more because I'm doing so much more of it, and while the travel is a good thing, there's also that feeling of ungroundedness and of course the concern as to whether I can keep up with all the demands and needs of my business efforts and other projects. Nonetheless the root of it is also found in the traveling I had to do as a child, when I'd fly back and forth between my parents. I need to come to grips with it, because I know I'll be doing more travel as I continue to reach out and connect with my target audiences.

I've also been thinking about how important it is to do your own thing and not worry about what other people think or do in response to what you are doing. There will always be that crowd of people you look in on and realize you don't belong with, but there will also be the people around you that accept you and know you and want to enjoy your company. It's important to appreciate what you have instead of lookingly longingly toward some perceived "cool kid" crowd, which likely has people feeling a similar way about some of the people you know or even you.

9-16-14 I've started work with Binah and the associated planet of Saturn. The interesting thing about Binah is that it seems to be where limitation begins in the Tree of Life. Or perhaps its better to say its where limitation is given birth to. So it's interesting to contemplate that and understand Binah from that perspective. I've also been thinking a bit more about how I label myself. I realize that I don't feel personable to most people and its because I go deep. I'm intense and that intensity is what drives my interactions. As a colleague observed earlier today, I tend to be business focused and objective. I'm ok with that because its who I am and how I function.

9-23-14 Work with Binah was fairly abstract. It gave me a lot to think about in regards to limitations and how limitations can be used in magical work. In one sense its really more about being aware of limits in your life and recognizing them for what they are, as well as what you invest in them. Beyond that, I'm getting ready for my first weekend intensive and I feel excited and nervous about it. I figure once you do something you make it part of your reality and that's finally happening with this one happening in Minneapolis.