Elemental Love Work month 12

I wrote this poem on Thursday, in my live journal. I'm reposting it here, because it depicts part of the conclusion to the elemental Love work. The connection is what we want silver strands that glisten by the star light, whispering promises from the vibrations of the space/time wind The core opens to reveal the secret heart of the universe a path lit up by red lines of force the flames of the fox fire beckoning, and luring on those eager hunters of desire

Hourglass eyes witness the illusion of time, The spiderweb, wet with dew, promises a non linear story Truth, truth, truth...

Whirling fan over the light, a very tired person looks up spreads his arms, and journeys into the iridescent glow of promise. I see all possibilities in the quantum sea everything could, is, was, will do, but will any of it become?

I am also Empty...Reach in and pull the last out Everything is stripped away...she took me on she gave me surfeit her hand gentle on my cheek, while the other rips everything out.

Your illusions are gone, now what?

Now what indeed. It's month 12...The end of the year long elemental love work...The end of my working with Babalon, the sacred whore, the scarlet woman, she who takes on all, but demands the sacrifice of your illusions. Babalon has thoroughly fucked me this last year. At times she had been a gentle lover, at other times a demanding bitch. One hand has caressed me as a lover, while the other has ripped my heart out. And through it all, her scarlet eyes have looked into mine, holding me steady, urging me on, demanding the best from me.

I wouldn't recommend the element of love to just anyone. I think this year's work has been by far the most intense and demanding of all my magical workings. You have to be ready to sacrifice it all on the altar of love to experience the truths you will inevitably find about yourself, and if you get anything back, count yourself blessed, and recognize you also earned it.

This last month has been one of nostalgia, regret, and healing. I remember a year ago, I remember how desperate I was, how much I knew I needed to change, my patterns of love had grown very toxic indeed. I was a toxic bloom, everything on the surface, ready to be popped. I remember meeting a priestess of Babalon, and a relationship that didn't work out and being told, "This elemental love work has left bruises on my heart, your wife's heart, and your heart. Will it be worth it?" I remember bad communication on my part, an unwillingness to really be open or intimate and my journey throughout this year to learn how to do that, how to really open up, how to be vulnerable, how to be honest despite the fear. Honesty with others, but most importantly honesty with myself about my desires, my fears, and what has motivated so many of  my choices.

I remember other situations, other people, all the lies I told to myself, ripped away. And I remember a couple nights with Lupa, where I really opened up, where I told her things I had not told her or anyone else. I remember being honest with her in a way I have never been with anyone, and despite my fears, despite the ingrained responses and reactions that said to just hold it all in, to protect myself by never saying a thing...I spoke...I told her, I laid myself out and let her see the real me. And she accepted me...she showed me LOVE, even as Babalon has Shown me LOVE.

A couple weeks ago, I felt the weight of these regrets...My mind wandered through the past year, through the lessons earned, the people touched, the bruises left, especially the bruise in myself. And I felt Babalon stir beside me. She gave me a gentle look and parted the folds of my flesh, to the heart underneath, and instead of seizing it in her hand as she often has, she gently touched it, touched the bruise of my regrets, and she said,

"It's time to let this go. You've learned what you needed to from this. Let it go, so you can move on and let other people into your life and into your love when you're ready. You've learned the lessons I needed to teach you and I will always be here to remind you of them, and also support you as you continue your journey."

And she took those regrets away...the physical pain I felt in the hollow of my chest left me.

This last Monday, I was talking with Wes Unruh about language, magic, semiotics, and we got around to talking about Babalon and male magicians. He said that he didn't think a male magician came into his full power until he'd had an encounter with Babalon. He told me of his own experiences and mentioned that for about a year after his working with Babalon ended he had focused on the element of emptiness and on rebuilding himself...and I found great comfort in this, because it's another confirmation I made the right choices, and I'm on the right path.

I was asked earlier this year, if this elemental love work would be worth the bruises, and the pain. And my answer is yes. It is worth all the pain caused, all the pain felt. It is worth the pain I caused as well as the pain I felt. It's not that I wanted to cause that pain. It's not that I felt a secret delight. No...That pain is part of the process of life, of how you learn. I made mistakes, I came face to face with the reality of the effects of those mistakes. The regret I felt for the pain I caused was something that's haunted me for this last half year. And yet, that pain, for me, for them has the potential for growth. It's what we choose to make it...and so Babalon showed me I could let go, move on, heal...

Last year, I said to Lupa, I said to others, "All of the relationships I'm in now will be changed if I do this working." And everything changed for those relationships. Every single relationship I was involved in on a romantic level is now gone, accept the relationship with my wife, which has ended up stronger than ever before because we worked through our problems with each other and came to a deeper, more intimate relationship than any I've ever had, except for one. It's taken a lot of work and honesty on our parts, but here we stand together, stronger than ever...

And that one relationship which is deeper and more intimate...that's the relationship I have with myself. This year has forced me to know myself as I never did before, and this next year will take me even further, but I'm ready for that plunge. Babalon has shown me not just the truth of LOVE, but also that of Strength. The strength to forgive, the strength to let go, the strength to love, and the strength to learn. She showed me my strength, even as she took away all the delusions I'd told myself.

Babalon told me it would get harder before it got easier, and she was right. It got really hard somedays to wake up and face the reality of my motivations, my desires, my love or lack thereof. In April, when I walked around, desperately unhappy, desperate to fill something in me and instead walked home and told Lupa about my emptiness, about how empty I sometimes feel, that's when I started to really learn from this year's elemental working...that's when I came face to face with the underlying motivation for so much of my unhealthy behaviors. That's when I realized just how much my feeling of emptiness had so often motivated my choices to try and find something to fill it, instead of choosing to feel it. And now that I know that feeling...now I'm ready to accept it, to move into it and everything it has to teach me.

On Friday, I had some of my hair cut. Babalon spoke to me in a moment of shared love and lust, in a moment of ritual, a finishing touch. That night, Lupa massaged me, talked with me, reconnected with me about our love, about what we find so important and she cut my hair, part of my payment to Babalon. Below is a poem I wrote about Friday:

"You've still got to pay up the last bit for this year of companionship I gave you" She told me.

Her long black hair framed her face, cascading down her frame, hiding her body, leaving only the oval of her face her red eyes staring into mine a doorway into the abyss an invitation into Emptiness

As we fucked with wild abandon her hands touched my long hair and she said,

"Perhaps some of this... Cut some of it for me and also for the next element Cut it as an offering when you pass through the gateway within me and within you The gateway to the heart of the universe"

As we came to crescendo, She and I, My goddess of desire, her beast to ride, I felt myself swallowed into her. She whispered,

"Conjunctio, The joining of forces Your principle joined to mine, In combination we create the alchemical wedding Your sacrifice opens the gate that your seed might be consumed and you reborn in my dark womb of Emptiness Your potential realized in the joining of everything and nothing."

Later my body massaged with hands of gentle love and care, my hair brushed out, the scissors snap some is taken away "Taking a little, so a lot can grow back, so you can realize your potential" Caressed, loved, forgiven, your hands know my body I fall into the light of the quantum sea out of reality, into everything

Everything I am falling back to potential, In her hands I lay, in her womb I will be sacrificed The gateway is open, Conjunctio achieved Emptiness beckons It's a promise of potential I'll take.

"Your last price is paid, Your coin is accepted the gate is open, fly free my love fly free

When you come back reborn anew, you will really know me and my name.

And I whisper,

"Babalon, Great goddess, Sacred whore, scarlet woman, take me, take me, take my sacrifice and show me the door to conjunctio, show me the door to emptiness zero and one, everything and none, where potential awaits to sculpt, to show, to provide the pathway to the heart of the universe to the silver webs of time, and the purple halls of space"

And she rips away from me the last shred of illusion Her hand caresses my cheek one last time, her tears touch my face, She kisses my lips one last time, to steal my last breath Great Babalon has destroyed me.

And now... I'm free to arise. Elemental Emptiness show me the way, through the door

I am here, I am there I am everywhere, everywhen, all things and none, a whisper on the wind, the caress of a hand on your chin all realities within my eyes, I am reborn into emptiness... I am reborn to realize my potential.

Today, Saturday, I finished the Love working. I went upstairs, with the painting of the seal of Babalon, The beast dagger, the candle with her visage gracing it. I lit the sacred candle in my temple. I dedicated two posters of the mythos of Babalon as told by Oryelle Defenestate-Bascule to Her. I burned a bit of my cut off hair in the flame of the candle. I cut her seal into my flesh, her name into my skin with the tip of the dagger, tracing so delicately upon my skin the imprint of this goddess...

I sang her praise, I thanked her for her gifts, and then I asked her to take me through the portal to emptiness. I fucked her one last time, giving her my seed and then I was taken in hand by the entity who represents emptiness...But that story will not be told until Tuesday, when the dedication ritual is finished.

Farewell Babalon, sacred Goddess and sacred whore, my lover and destroyer.

The lyric below is from the song Here's to You by Lisbeth Scott. I removed a couple words, that aren't relevant to me, to this year's working...but the lyrics of this song, the song itself is a fitting end to the love working and the beginning of the work on the element of Emptiness:

Here's to you... Rest forever and ever... The last and final moment is yours. Agony's your triumph.

Here's to you, Rest forever here in our hearts. The last and final moment is yours. Agony's your triumph.

A bit of political pop culture magic

I'm not really a big fan of politics, but occasionally they can be useful. Tonight I was doing some public speaking and I decided to draw on a bit of the political energy currently pervading the U.S., carefully. I thought about characteristics that people rave about in regards to both of the candidates...One is calm and collected, the other is more emotional. Without drawing on the negative attributes, I focused on the positive attributes: I wanted to be grounded, but also have passion for what I spoke about. So I visualized those particualr resonances being incorporated into my speaking from each candidate. Basically I focused on the speaking profile each candidate had, but didn't focus on the political issues. Talk went off really well, with several people interested in following up with me.

A philosophy about people and magic

One of my philosophies when it comes to interactions with people and interactions with magic is fairly similar and based on understanding that the less complicated a situation is, the easier it is to navigate the situation. This isn't to say that magic and people aren't complicated. They can both be very complicated, but a situation, a context doesn't have to be complicated and ideally if you remove what you can that could be complicating in a situation, it consequently sets a person at ease, or in the case of magic, makes it much easier to manifest. I realized sometime ago that the best approach with people is to simply put all your cards on the table and show your hand. No subtlety, no hidden agenda...just lay it all out and let the other person do the interpretation as s/he wishes. Every time I approached a situation where I didn't do this, where I didn't just lay my cards out, it always complicated matters, because even though I might have no hidden agenda, the fact that everything wasn't on the table aroused suspicion and played out the worst fears the people might have.

By choosing to play my hand, show all the cards, be transparent, it simplified the situation. On the one hand it could be argued that the other people had control of the situation by simply knowing everything I had in my hand...and yet in that openness I find comfort...I am so comfortable because everything can be seen...sure it can be interpreted and likely will be interpreted through the biases and filters people have, yet nonetheless, in that openness lies freedom...It becomes an accepted reality, and whether anything is done with that reality or not, the situation is less complicated. The person or people know what's going on and it's up to them to make a choice...and whatever response is made by those people I already know what my conscious choice will be to that response. It both opens up and limits the field of possibilities. It opens up the field of possibilities in terms of displaying the entire spectrum of choices that could be made, but it limits the field because those choices are made in response to my choice to be open. I consider this a kind of time magic, and in fact using this example above you can apply it to the practice of magic.

While magic isn't always complicated, in those situations where it could be complicated, either by working with other people or with other entities, it's again best to be transparent...The consequent acts of magic, on your part, don't contain latent possibilities which could trip up the working. you can also use this philosophy in regards to doing solo workings. By being open with yourself, you admit where there could be flaws, subconscious issues, sabotage instincts or memories. You give them expression through being open and also take away the power they would have if they were latent possibilities...You limit your own response to yourself so that you can ironically be free to make a choice in the possibilities presented to you. The process of magic becomes much simpler once this is done.

In other news, Reality Sandwich published my article on Identity and Magic

Esozone

This year's Esozone has actually come together pretty good, which I'll admit I was a bit skeptical about. It still has a lot of the same energy as last year, but this year's incarnation is also its own being and it is an intriguing being. About my only complaint about esozone was that the scheduling could have been handled better, with topics spread out a bit more instead of grouped together, but for a second year, overall everyone really pulled it off. Let me break it down day by day. Friday

Friday's opening address was done By Wes Unruh, who did an excellent job of introducing esozone. I also got to meet Ben Mack in person, and we ended up getting into some intriguing discussions about marketing. Also Met Michael Skrtic, when Bill Whitcomb brought him by. I knew we'd get along well, when he said, "I want to talk to you about Space/Time Magic. You're the only other person I've encountered who's worked on those kinds of techniques" I also ran into Nick Pell, Edward Wilson, Nemo, Kara, Brian and many other people I hadn't seen in a while. The night itself was spent listening to the Pranks talk by St. Mae and St. Fox, the Forestructuring of 2012 by Clyde Lewis, and Trevor Blake's excellent lecture on Buckminster Fuller (Can I just say I love the sound of Trevor's voice...very melodic).

Saturday

I walked in on the esotech panel, which was pretty intriguing. They seemed to be focused on radionics technology. I listened for a bit while setting up my vending booth. After that ended I managed to get some books signed by Antero Alli, Edward Wilson and Wes Unruh, and Ben Mack, which pleased me greatly, on general principle. At 1pm, Antero Alli had his eight circuit lecture, which I unfortunately had to miss because I was also doing my workshop on Neuroscience, Identity, and Magic. Amazingly enough I actually managed to acquire an audience, and a decent one at that. My lecture was almsot two hours long and ranged from neuroscience, to lingusitics, to memory to memes and much more. For those who are interested, I'll be presenting an abbreviated version of it on Monday night on my radio show. After I finished my lecture, I got to listen to Rex Church's discussion about the Ragnarok Engine, which looks rather intriguing. I also saw Oryelle's conjunctio performance and ened up swapping books for one of his framed works and his book on time magic.

After all that, Lupa arrived and after we socialized for a bit, she did her workshop, which I attended for part of the time. Really fascinating discussion of 21st century animism. Afterwards, I listened to Dennis McKenna and chatted with various people. I've met so many people at this event that I hope to follow up with.

Sunday

Today was the day that wasn't as smooth as Friday and Saturday. The six hour lecture by Paul Lafolley, as well as a one hour workshop expanding into a a four hour workshop (I think he was trying to compete with Paul), made the day's offerings less dynamic than I hoped. I'd really wanted to hear Wes Unruh's workshop on cut-up, Edward Wilson's meme workshop, and Ben Mack's workshop on making an elephant appear in the room. This unfortunately didn't happen. I did get into a nice chat with Antero Alli and hope to speak with him a bit more tomorrow night.

Overall: Esozone was really good. It encouraged a much needed spirit of community in the occult community. I look forward to it again next year.

I did get some really good loot. Some art and a book on time magic by Oryelle, A book by Antero Alli on paratheatrical work,, a few cds I intend to listen to and one I'm listening to now from Hekate, and a couple of interesting magazines on fringe science. I also met a lot of really cool people and re-connected with others. Awesome time overall.

Teleclass or online course?

I've been thinking lately that it might be interesting to teach some online courses or do some teleclasses based on material I've written and taught in workshops before. Obviously if I chose to do this, I would be charging for the classes.  So let me ask you dear readers...Would you be interested in taking an online course or a teleclass with me? Such a class would likely be based off the current list of classes I have on the green wolf workshop page. If you would be interested, please comment. This will help me decide if it's worth my time and energy to put something together.

Article, Review of Magic Power Language Symbol and some thoughts on the occult culture

Taking the Path of Least Resistance in Magic has been posted by the good folks of the Right Where You are Sitting Now Podcast. I'll be writing more articles for them in the near future and look forward to continuing to work with them. I think they're a really good crew of people. Book Review Magic Power Language Symbol by Patrick Dunn

Overall, I was fairly impressed by this book. I think Dunn does an excellent job of explaining a lot of the theories behind language and magic, as well as showing how theories can be made into practice. He explores concepts of gematria, glossalia, metaphor, semiotics and much more and in the process makes all the concepts approachable and easy to understand. In fact, I think that's the strength of this book. It's written so that anyone can pick up the book, read about the concepts, and put them into practice, though at least in the case of gematria, readers will probably need to have a decent familiarity with Quabala.

I also liked his explanation of the semiotic web and the Defixio. In both cases he not only explains the theory, but also provides personal anecdotes and suggestions for how the reader can incorporate those practices into his/her work. I think his latest book is a good introduction to linguistics and magic, and he provides the reader some other works to explore once they finish his work.

I did have two minor issues which made this book a four out of five for me. The fourth appendix of the book has a bunch of practical exercises for the book. It seems odd that the exercises are placed at the end of the book, instead of incorporated into the book. I'm not sure if that a decision of the publisher or the author. The other issue is that while he does cover a lot of the connection between linguistics and magic, he doesn't cover much of the contemporary work occurring with linguistics or magic. He dedicates only a small section to the contemporary work. That said, this a good primer for linguistics and magic and how the two disciplines can be brought together. I recommend it to anyone who is interested in branching outward from more conventional approaches to magic.

Some Thoughts on Occult Culture

I was at Conflux this weekend. I had a good time, but while there I did a lot of thinking about occult culture and my own place in it. I've written in this blog, previously about my disillusionment with the occult culture, and yet I can't really say I'm disillusioned with occult culture overall. I think what it really comes down to is that I don't really feel I fit in with certain aspects of the occult culture...the aspects focused more on spectacle and image and performance. That's actually one reason I might not do Esozone again. While I'm looking forward to presenting my workshop there as well as meeting up with some people, I look at the program and I honestly wonder how much of what I'm teaching really fits with the overall theme. It's not that my work isn't focused on the other tomorrow...rather it's that I don't really relate well to the culture that has sprung up around esozone. I recognize it's occult culture of some sorts...I'm just not sure it's my occult culture.

But I've also been recognizing that there is an occult culture out there that I identify with and lately I've been starting to reach out to that occult culture. Not surprisingly who I'm reaching out to are people who have similar feelings of disenchantment with the direction occultism seems to be going in. They want something different, something more substantial, while also something that isn't so rooted in the past that it can't evolve. Lupa's suggested I try and find people I can work with who could develop some system or tradition...I don't know though...I'm mixed about that and yet I'm not...because I have a vision in mind...it just has to be with the right kind of person involved and I'm very picky with people, for a lot of reasons, which essentially boil down to being burned too many times by people I expected otherwise of. To work with someone in person would involve a lot of trust on my part (as well as theirs). Do I think it could happen? Yes...I know it can, because I actually am working with two different people closely, but it still comes down to finding the right fit, and if something actually develops in my immediate environment it will be with a small group of people initially.

And then too, I've increasingly been getting involved with other subcultures and the more time I spend in them, the more convinced I am that something really has to change with occult culture overall. It's not that these other cultures are better perse...it's just that there's something happening in them that I don't see as much in occult culture...what I see in other subcultures is less insularity, more communication and networking, more looking our for each other and supporting each other. The other day, a person who wanted to come to esozone and needed a place to crash and posted about it on an occult forum got no responses. I finally messaged her, because I really didn't want to see someone not taken care of...I wanted I suppose to reach out to this person looking for community and provide something of that to her. I suppose what I'm looking for is something of a tribe of sorts, or a system wherein we look out for each other. Lupa and I, have opened our doors a fair amount to occultists coming through Portland. I expect this will continue...I believe in hospitality, plus it's always good to get a chance to talk shop.

I have a vision of an occult culture and I think it's possible to make it real. The non-fiction line of Immanion Press is part of that vision made manifest...and it's time for more of that vision to be realized.

Magician's Reflection and The Pop Culture Grimoire is here!

I'm pleased to say that we now have copies of the Magician's Reflection by Bill Whitcomb and the Pop Culture Grimoire anthology, edited by Me available. If you've pre-ordered, we'll have copies out to you by Monday at the latest. Needless to say I'm very happy these books are out.

Several experiments in linguistic magic

Since starting to read Magic Power Language Symbol by Patrick Dunn, I've decided to try out a couple of his techniques, particularly the Semiotic Web and the Defixio technique, albeit with my own variations. The semiotic web technique is actually similar to my space/time sigil web technique. The essential difference is that you create two webs. One web is filled with the negative feelings, thoughts etc you might have about a situation. The other web is filled with conscious answers to those negative thoughts and feelings. I decided to try this technique out in regards to some negative thoughts and feelings that I was dealing within regards to my current job search. I wrote job hunt at the center of the web and then wrote all the negatives out. I then wrote job hunt again and all the conscious realizations I had about those negatives. I then took the two webs upstairs and called the Dehara into a circle and did a ritual to Agave the Dehar of banishment (and to me, also creativity, cause he's a dehar of fire and I associate fire with creativity). I took the negative web and burned it, and ended up having to slap some of the fire out, which put me into an altered state of mind quickly. I then meditated on the positive web, picturing it in my mind and integrating it into my altered consciousness. When that was done I thanked Agave by taking the ashes outside and offering them to him. I'm already noticed a more positive frame of mind about all my activities. I liked this technique. I plan on seeing how I can expand and improve on it...already have a couple ideas in mind for how this technique could be adapted for some space/time workings.

The Defixio technique involves writing out a statement of purpose and then offering it to the gods. I decided to try this, but offer it to the goddess Portlandia. I wrote my statement out and then put in the recycling bin, because Portlandia cares about recycling, and also because I want the message to become part of the natural cycle. I don't know how often I would use this technique, but it also could have some creative applications depending on which deity you worked with and how said deity wants you to deposit the defixio.

In thinking about these exercises, something which stands out to me is that there is a lot of room for creative touches, and we also have to remember to be creative. This is true for any technique or process...and by creative I really mean making a technique or process into you own process...into something that is personalized and works for you because it has an efficacy designed in the personalization of the technique. Personalization, to me, is a process of experimentation, and also a process of improvement. How do I make this process fit into my practice? How can I improve on it so it's even more effective for me. Granted, there's some techniques, which seem to be done just as is, but with writing you can be creative and that's why language is such an important tool of magic...it's open-ended and writ large with possibilities.

Some further thoughts on language and magic

Something I've been mulling over and discussing with a few friends is how concepts and practices of magic could be written about with as little jargon as possible. I recently just finished reading Aaron Hoopes book: Breathe Smart, where he does an excellent job of demystifying how to breathe. Instead of relying on far eastern terms and descriptions he boils the concepts down to fairly plain English, so that any person, regardless of background could pick up his book and read it and do the practices. I find that interesting and important, because I think that if the discipline of magic is to continue to progress or evolve, making it less jargon heavy as well as explaining the benefits of it will be a necessary step. While the fairly obvious use of language is to communicate, another less obvious use is the ability to obsfucate language, to utilize jargon so that only certain people with access to a discipline's discourse can understand it...in essence creating an elitism through language. You see this a lot in academia. Those who cannot master the discourse are weeded out. It doesn't necessarily mean a professor is smarter...s/he just knows how to jump through the hoops for that particular discipline and is very specialized.

On the one hand, I think this can be necessary with occult practices. My book are intentionally written to be a bit harder to read...I consider it a protection mechanism, in that it insures that if a person doesn't understand what I'm writing about s/he can't hurt him or herself. On the other hand, I also think being able to write about certain practices and techniques without jargon can be a useful exercise for a writer and also useful for helping people understand the benefits of particular practices. For instance, learning how to breathe properly doesn't have to be very mystical...it is, in fact, very relevant to each person's life. My point is that while there can be some value to jargon and technical terms, there is equal value in finding ways to write about a practice so that anyone could do it. I think language can provide the means to do that, but it also involves unlearning the jargon and to soem degree the expected discourse.

A book update

The radio show on language and its connection to reality is now up. But that isn't what I'm really excited about today. For the first time in...a while, I've been going through the material for my next book. I have three appendices and Eight partial chapters. I'll be adding some material in today and also taking what I have and deciding what fits into my upcoming workshop at esozone, Which will focus on the intersection between neuroscience and magic.

For me writing is a very particular process. I'm one of those people who won't write a book until I know I have enough research and experimentation done to justify putting a book out there. It always feels good when I can finally get to the moment where I can say: Yes I'm ready to write. I'm not there, but I'm much closer and the fact I can add more notes to the growing mass of book I want to write has me in good spirits about the development of not only the book, but most importantly the techniques and process I'm developing.

I do consider writing to be a magical process, and one of the more potent techniques a person can use. We see it put to good (or bad) uses every day. I've used writing to steer the direction of my life as well as imprint on myself actions I can take to manifest particualr goals. I've used collages to bring people into my life and set the tone for specific months. I think writing and language will always be an essential tool and expression of people. I don't forsee that changing anytime soon, and hope it never will change.

Radio show update and the next issue of silverstar is out!

Tonight I will be doing a show on the power of language from 9pm pst to 10pm PST. Listeners can call in at 646-652-2830. Also next week's show will be on the Competition Blues and ways to deal with competition as well as how to make your competition work for you. The latest issue of Silverstar magazine is now available. Features some excellent articles as well as some book reviews, including Multi-Media Magic by me!

Book Reviews and a meditation on Emptiness

Book Reviews: Grammar for the Soul by Lawrence Weinstein While not a typical book that one might associate with spiritual techniques, this book proved rather intriguing because the author examines how punctuation, tenses, clauses, passivity, etc is used in language to communicate and also empower an individual. As someone who consistently is interested in exploring the connection between language and spiritual techniques, I also found this book useful for considering how I could not only improve my writing, but also improve the efficacy of my magical workings when it came to using language.

Each chapter is only a few pages long, but the author manages to include a lot of information as well as samples for how grammar can be used to empower and communicate, as well as create personal change. The author's narrative is friendly and approachable. I didn't feel lost in a sea of grammar rules. If anything, I felt that I could easily navigate grammar's laws and use them to my benefit, both for my writing and my sense of self.

If I have one quibble with this book, it's that the author didn't include exercises for the reader. While the examples he used were illustrative of how to improve one's writing skills as well as how to use writing to effect personal change, the lack of exercises can keep the reader from realizing the book's full potential, unless they are already active writers. That said, I'd give this book a 4.5 out of 5.

Book Review: The Mind and the Brain by Jeffery Schwartz and Sharon Begley

This book was probably the most fascinating book I read about neuroscience and that's saying something since I find all of them fascinating. In this book the author explains neuroplasticity and how it continues to work in the brains of an adult as well as a child. The author also reviews many of the neuroscience experiments and projects done by various people as well as how those projects have confirmed the efficacy of mindful practices in controlling our habits and thoughts.

What I found really fascinating was how the author's work with OCD patients help them overcome that affliction by learning how to rewire the thought patterns. Equally interesting is the focus on how we can deliberately change our brains not only to heal, but also to continue sharpening our skills. For people interested in the intersection of neuroscience and magic, this book is a must read. 5 out 5

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A Meditation on Emptiness

Last night, while at the Deacon X fetish event, I again felt myself feeling empty...I think it was a continuing realization that with everything going on there, I had a sense of loneliness, a sense of not feeling satisfied...a realization, again, that this emptiness is not something that can be cured by the presence of anyone person...that it is something that can be ignored or sometimes not felt, but it is still a fundamental part of life. I felt a moment of anger and frustration...part of me wanted to walk out and just keep walking...but instead of doing that I sat down, and start a Taoist breathing meditation, opening myself up to that feeling of emptiness, accepting it. As I breathed I circulated my energy into that feeling of emptiness and felt my emotions swirl into the energy until I felt very calm. And I felt the emptiness reach out and start teaching me something I could do with the circulating energy to not only calm myself, but direct the emptiness I felt. I directed it into my hands, which I would later put to good use at said event ;)

Still what I came away with is that emptiness can be worked with...not just felt but worked with, which will make the oncoming elemental year very interesting indeed.

Magic as a Social Practice

In a recent post, I asked what the purpose of magic is. In some follow up conversations I've had, it's been suggested that magic is a social practice. If so, then the question arises how contemporary practices of magic display such social practices. In another conversation I had, it was suggested that in a lot of contemporary occult culture there is a focus on out cooling each other, a focus as it were on image as opposed to something more substantial. We see this attempt to outcool each other in workings which are focused on sabotaging the institutions of mainstream culture. For example the attempt send a lovebomb to Fox News, as written about in Generation Hex is a good example of a focus on image as opposed to content. We have to ask if that magical working really did anything substantial...and given that Fox news seems to be still running and operating, I'm not certain that the lovebomb did anything substantial at all, other than create an image of doing something. If magic can function as a social practice, it must offer something more substantial than image and a practice more significant than attempting to prove who is more cool or who is more subversive to mainstream culture. Indeed, we need to ask how magic actually contributes to our culture. Are we engaged in a practice where we actively contribute to the culture around us? How does the practice of magic contribute to our culture? In what ways is magic as a social practice, a practice that enables change of some kind to occur?

In a discussion I had with Vince Stevens, he suggested that taking the path of the Taoist mystic who sought to educate people about his practices in order to help them live better lives might be a path to consider. I think this approach to magic can be useful in the sense that it asks us to consider what kind of information we are gtiving out as well as considering the effect that information will have on the people hwo choose to pursue it.

What I think magic as a social practice really comes down to is finding ways to re-package magic as it were. I got involved in life coaching because I wanted to be able to offer skills I'd learned as an occultist to people who might not feel comfortable with the magical aspects, but could still benefit from a repackaging of those concepts into something they could understand, without all the negative connotations included...because despite what Crowley wanted, in terms of rehabilitating magic, I don't perceive it as rehabilitated in the public's conception of it. For magic to become a social practice it has to be re-packaged...reconsidered, as well as looking at how it is used for the benefit of all as opposed to the benefit of just the practitioner or a small group of people that practitioner knows. I think that as the concepts of intention and will are explored in neuroscience and physics and psychology, and as professions such as life coaching and alternative healing become more prevalent there is a chance to apply magical skills to the community and to help people become more connected to each other. I think that if this is to be to successful, we ultimately have to ask what the purpose of magic is and what legacy we want leave to the people who follow us, as well as to this planet we live on.

Elemental Love Working Month 11

This weekend is the one year anniversary of when Babalon indicated to me that I would be spending a year working with her and the element of love. This last month has been one of memories and regets, and I suppose that's fitting in some ways, because it's also been about me coming to terms with how much this year long working has changed me and is changing me.  And increasingly this last month I've also been coming face to face with the feeling of emptiness and hunger that has sometimes motivated my actions. Sitting with that feeling of emptiness and hunger has not been easy, but I recognize that it is something that has motivated my search for love. I think one of the deepest moments I had was when I was hiking with Lupa. She'd gone up the mountain trail a bit further and I was sitting and I began meditating about love and it's place in my life and I think I finally, really realized just how much I had treated love as a kind of cure all...a means of filling up that emptiness in my life, as if I could somehow find someone who would make it all better. I had, I realized, focused so much on filling that feeling of emptiness that any interaction in a romantic sense was ultimately based on that desire as opposed to being mindfully present with anyone. That's a hard realization to have because it calls into doubt any relationship I've had with a person. And yet by acknowledging that emptiness and just how much it's motivated my search for love, it's also helped me see who I am, as well as the cause for a lot of my behaviors. Later when I talked with Lupa I admitted to her just how much my desire to find particular characteristics in a person was motivated by trying to fill that emptiness...the realization that my relationship with her had been based on that and how hard it had been for me to accept that no relationship I could find would really address that feeling of emptiness. The responsibility for dealing with that emptiness ultimately falls on me...it only took me this long to realize that.

Throughout all of this I've felt Babalon's presence in a subtle way, though the other day it manifested a bit more directly when I ended up sitting beside someone involved in an organization focused on Babalon. I found it amusing, and also relevant...it's her showing me that she's here, that she's continuing to help me through this process. She took me on, and only required that I strip away all my illusions about myself. I have one more month with this year long element of love...Seems strange to think that this will be done in just a month.

Neuroplasticity, the Mind, and Will

Among the many books I'm currently reading, The Mind & The Brain by Jeffery Schwartz and Sharon Begley is certainly one of the more intriguing. Neuroplasticity, which is the brain's ability to create new neural connections or adapt current ones to different circumstances is somehting which apparently never stops occurring. The authors also argue that mindful practices can be used to harness and direct neuroplasticity and apparently have used such practices to help patients with OCD, as well as reporting on similar cases with patients who have tourettes and dyslexia. What this suggests to me, is that we have marvelous untapped resource in our brains, and that with the mind and it's capacity to consciously direct change (which I'd consider to be the will) we can harness neuroplasticity and use it. This actually is something I've written about before with the the neurotransmitter entities in Inner Alchemy, but I think it can be taken even further than that and a lot of the books I've been reading on neuroscience seem to agree with the direction that my experiments have been taking me toward.  It's also evidence to me that we need to continue looking at what's happening in other disciplines to see how it effects our own work as well as what we could achieve for ourselves. I think if more people were aware of how much control they could exert over their health, physical and mental, there would be a significant change in how those people dealt with difficult situations. There is so much possibility...It's just a matter of developing the techniques and processes that people can use to help themselves.

Upcoming Workshops in Oregon and other administrative matters

I rarely post about administrative issues so to speak, but here's a table of contents: Upcoming workshops in Oregon

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Upcoming Workshops in Oregon

I'll be presenting workshops at Portland Pagan Pride, The Pan-Pagan Gathering, Conflux, Esozone, and the Body Mind Spirit Expo. Full details about what workshops I'm presenting can be found at this link. If any of you are going to these festivals, come up and say hello.

Comments

I welcome comments on this blog. I've noticed on the lj syndication that people tend to respond to the post in lj. If you wish to respond, I'd ask you click the link at the top of the syndicated post. It will bring you to this blog and you can comment on the post directly, so everyone can see your comments.

You can get an email subscription to this blog!

Yes, you really can. If you scroll down on this blog's page, past the posts, where's there some weird formatting, you'll see a column on the right. Scroll down a bit further and you'll find a link which tells you that you can subscribe to this blog by email.

That's it! I'll be posting stuff of a more occult flavor tomorrow.

Visualization usually isn't

One of the things I read constantly in magical, occult, meditative, and other works is the need to "visualize" things.  One visualized light, or deities, or anything else.  When it comes to mental and magical work, visualize is pretty high in the buzzword bingo game. Visualization is of course very important as any meditator and magician can tell you, but I find that it's one of those words that's misunderstood and often misused.

When the term "visualization" comes up (when it's not being thrown around casually), it usually seems to mean one doesn't just imagine the site of something, but feels something intensely - site, sound, smell, etc.  One is not "observing" what is to be visualized passively, but is intimately involved with it as if it is a real object.  In my own writing I tend to think o fit as "feeling" an object or image.

Unfortunately, more and more I encounter people that think visualizing really is just conjuring up a visual image.  It's pale, context-less, and uninvolving for the most part.  We can let a thousand images pass before our inner eye and not feel any connection to them - and connection is what magic and meditation is all about.

I think the term "visualization" wormed its way into common usage simply because humans are visual creatures, and the term itself is convenient for the act of actively conjuring up an image.  Unfortunately it's too easy to take the term literally.

Now that being said, ask yourself what other commonly used words aren't actually as useful as they may seem in occultism . . .

Radio Show update

I just had a fascinating radio interview with Laura Sherman, the Chess Coach for the Imagine your Reality radio show. It's the first interview I did, but Laura and I had great rapport and I definitely plan on having her back on the show. She offered some really good insights about Chess and how it can be applied to your life. To listen to the show, please go here. I really enjoyed this show, particularly focusing on a topic such as chess and how it applies to manifesting your imagination into reality. Among other things we discussed how chess can improve your reading ability, how it can help you strategize your life, and how it can even be applied to your understanding of space and time. If any of you find the radio show interesting, I have two other episodes I recorded: How to turn Imagination into Reality and how to turn re-action into action. I'll be doing another episode on the connection between Language and Reality on Tuesday September 23rd at 9 Pm Pacific Standard Time. Listeners can call into the show if they want and I would definitely welcome listener input and questions.

Here's a summary of the upcoming show: In this show, we'll be exploring the connection between language and reality. We'll be focusing on how writing can be used to create reality, the value of affirmations, and how pre-writing exercises can help you not only write a good paper, but also plan how you'll take your imagination and turn it into reality.

Some readers of this blog might be puzzled by this kind of interview and it's applicability to magical practice, but listen, and I think you'll find some interesting perspectives on visualization and space and time, as well as how a game as chess can hone your skills. I might add, that part of experimentation is entertaining perspectives that seemingly have little in common with the usual perspective for how things are done...but how we learn is influenced by the willingness we have to do something different from everyone else.

A book review and thoughts on failure

I finished reading Paul Ekman's book: Emotions Revealed...Below is my review In Emotions Revealed, Ekman discusses how a person's face can be "read" to determine what kind of emotions s/he is feeling. The author then proceeds to focus on emotions such as contempt, disgust, sadness, happiness, and anger. In each chapter he has a model who shows different expressions. He explains in great detail how to read the facial expressions as well as what they seem to mean. He also has an exercise that people can do to use facial expressions to invoke feelings. Overall, it's a fascinating read, which shows how much the face is integral to feeling emotion as well as expressing it. At times, the book is dry and can be a bit of a slog to read through, but Ekman does a fairly comprehensive job of explaining the subject. I'm already eager to see how I can apply the concepts in my everyday communication.

Four out of Five.

It's a useful book, at least for my studies in identity work. I'll be curious to see what he produces down the line. I also think being able to recognize emotions as they are displayed on the face can help quite a lot in communication situations.

In other news...

I was reading a post tonight on livejournal by Ges on failure in magical practice. I agree with his sentiments. It goes back to something I've said, which is that even failure is a result...it indicates something about the magical process that you need to refine or correct. Without failure, how do we learn? Failure is something essential not only to magical practice, but also to living life. While I enjoy my successes, my failures define how I can improve my life (but don't define my life in and of themselves).

I was thinking the other night about the purpose of magic, and I think how a person deals with the failures that occur in magic speaks something to the purpose of magic, and what motivates the person to keep trying or to give up. Our failures challenge us to learn from them and adapt. I've never perceived failure as a negative experience, though my reactions my be negative toward it. In the end, however, I've had to rely on my discipline and go back to the drawing board so that I can figure out what needs to change in order to make something succeed.

This is especially true with magical experimentation, since experiments won't always go right. I can think of several experiments where what I thought would occur didn't happen and I had to go back to drawing board. Sometimes the failure is the most intriguing part of the process because it forces you to go back and look at your theory and assumptions and ask yourself why something isn't working the way you thought it would.

The Purpose of Magic

In a chat I had earlier tonight with Vince Stevens about occult culture one of the things we discussed is what the purpose of magic practical is. Specifically what does a person use magic for and what consequently are the benefits of practicing magic. I think purpose is an important lynchpin to consider within magical practice  and for that matter how one defines magic. The purpose provides the impetus for why a person does utilize magic. So what is the purpose of doing magic? What are the benefits of its practice? Simple questions to ask, but I don't think the answers as simple. On the one hand, it could be argued that getting a desired result is the purpose of magic, but that's a fairly short termed way of going through life. It doesn't necessarily address what will happen after you get that result. Additionally this kind of perspective is rather materialistic and does nothing to address the benefits of magic beyond gaining something.

On the other hand, the purpose of magical could be for other purposes than just obtaining results. The refinment of the self, helping other people raise there level of awareness, etc. The question then becomes where does magic fit into the overall community or the lives of other people. In other words what role in the community does the magician have? What is the purpose of the magician in the community? How does the magician serve the community?

These are some good questions to consider...I'll be putting some thought into them myself.