A friend of mine asked me recently if I had considered working with the neural network of the brain. The neural network basically is a network that is created by how you learn, but also be the paterns of behavior you engage in. As you continue to repeat a behavior it becomes more and more imprinted in the patterns of psynaptic firing. To change a behavior, the change has to occur in the neural network. The change ends up creating new pattern of pysnaptic firing. That's a rough summary of it. I'm probably not entirely accurate in my description of it, but I'm still doing a lot of research on neuroscience. In anycase, my latest work has involved working with this concept of the neural network. Mainly it's been focused on exploring what it feels like. when I interact with it, I see a web fulls of lights with energy going in particualr directions. I'll be writing more later...it's at an early stage.
Advanced books: Is there a market for them?
Recently Carl Weshke, the owner of Llewellyn books put up a call for readers, asking them to email him about advanced books, i.e. what they wanted Llewellyn to publish that would constitute advanced material. Oddly enough, Donald Michael Kraig had recently written an article in New Worlds Magazine (A Llewellyn magazine), which seems to contradict with Carl is looking for in advanced magic. In Donald's article, he suggests instead that it's not deeper books, but broader books which are more important, and that there's no such thing as advanced material. I disagree with the sentiments of the latter article. I believe that it is possible to write and publish advanced books on magic and find an audience for them, but it strikes me as odd that there is such a fundamental disconnect, or rather contradiction at work within a publisher that wants to publish advanced works, but also discourages the concept. Granted, it could be argued that DMK doesn't speak for Llewellyn, as opposed to Carl Weshke, but he is an editor there, as well as an author. Then too, there's the question of whether Llewellyn ultimately can publish advanced books. Their focus is on trying to reach the broadest demographic, which is impossible to do with an advanced book. An advanced book is for a smaller audience and will generally utilize discourse that is focused toward that audience. The goal isn't to sell books to as many people as possible, but rather to meet a specific market's need, which necessarily limits the number of people who will buy the book.
Finally, The wildhunt as weighed in on this issue, as well as commentators. The sentiment there seems to be that the focus on advanced magic and esoteric technologies is too limited, with not enough focus on advanced pagan spirituality and theology and philosophy. While I think their is a point to be made for the lack of advanced books on those subjects, I also think it's important to find a way to bring some practical applications to those topics. Thus a book on advanced spirituality or theology could still include some form of practical exercises or magical work that integrates the concepts into the person's life. Then too there are publishers such as Asphodel press who do in fact offer a venue for publishing books on advanced spirituality, etc. The difference is asphodel isn't a big publisher, with access to big box book stores, while Llewellyn is...and perhaps that's where some of the discontent from some authors is, because presumably those big box book stores will sell lots of their books...but let me just say that any book of an advanced topic generally will not sell well in big box stores. The audience has to be reached through different means, through personal interaction, but also through recognizing that your audience probably won't go to Barnes and Nobles to buy a book on advanced magic.
As someone who helps publish intermediate and advanced books on magic, and spiritual practices, what I find time and again is that the sales are not driven by big bookstores, but by knowing the audience and recognizing it's not a large target demographic. And that's okay. It works, because the people who do buy the books usually end up being loyal and continuing to support the publisher, while also spreading word of mouth to other people. The market success is based on knowing what the audience wants, and also accepting that what is wanted doesn't need to sell in large numbers to be a success (though I'll never complain if large numbers sell). The bottom line isn't what's important. It's the value the audience places in the material and also the author's voice being fully listened and allowed to show through in the books that are written.
Neuro-Sorcery Pt 3
Each morning I've been doing the meditation I described in my last post about neuro-sorcery. What I've felt is a tingling feeling in the center of my brain. It's been a pleasureable feeling. I have felt more focused using the meditation. This working has given me some inspiration toward how specific psychological or physiological issues could be eased by working with the neurotransmitters. If we know what neurotransmitters cause specific effects or what nt's can be used to meditate an effect than we can start to work with our biology to aid the psyche of the mind. I'll be writing moreo n htis later...this is just a brief update for those who are interested.
podcast interviews on Tarot connection
Interivew with Lupa on Totem cards Interview with me on experiments with tarot and magic
You know in listening to this episdoe, I'm struck again by how much the ritual I did in it, already has changed my life. Leisa, the host, mentioned that each time a person listened to it, the invocation would occur again...and so there's some space/time magic for you...but also that show and in fact that day made me recognize some realities that were important to me.
The transmutation continues...
Neuro-Sorcery pt 2
Today I re-established contact with the Endorphin and Serotonin neuro-transmitters. The Endorphin neurotransmitter gave me a ball with a synaptic fire in it. Said it would be useful for activating the psynapses for my experiment. Serotonin showed me how to combine the symbols for each neurotransmitter together and apply the synaptic fire to the symbols to start the process. You might wonder how I'll experiment with this, if I don't have an official diagnosis of ADHD. It's a fair question...But I figure by applying this technique in an environment where I'm really bored, it'll approximate to some degree what i'm trying to test, which is to see if stimulating the neurotransmitters will help me focus my attention more. The place to do that: work of course. Using the NT's to focus my attention on what I need to get done in a manner that has me sharp and focused instead of bored would be useful, both to see if my experiment can work and to get some work out of the way. We shall see what happens. I won't report on this for a little while, as I'll need time to compare and contrast the results.
Water of forgiveness part 2
Last night I did another ritual to Lunil. I took a glass of water with me. I opened my nayati, but instead of working with the elemental Dehara vegrandis, I called the usual four. They seem to have more oomph and presence then the elemental Dehara have for me. Once I'd established the nayati, I want to Lunil's corner and opened the doorway to his realm. I then took the water, and drank most of it. I also traced Lunil's sigil on my forehead. I laid down and focused on feeling the water as it entered my body. My third eye activated and I saw Lunil. He and I talked further about forgiveness...that it didn't imply becoming friends with a person again, so much as it involved letting go of the pain that a person caused you or the pain you caused yourself or other people. The water washes away the blood...
Neuro-sorcery pt 1
Readers of my book Inner Alchemy will recall that some of my experimental work focused on working with neurotransmitters as entities. I've lately been reading a book called the User's Guide to the Brain by John Ratey. In one section, he focuses on Attention and the functions in the brain related to it. He suggests that a cause for ADHD (and to some degree depression) is lower then normal levels of dopamine, serotonin, and Endorphins in the nucleus accumbens, which is the reward center of the brain. People who have lower levels of these neurotransmitters will tend to be more focused on extreme behaviors apparently so they can get the rewards they want, and less able to focus on taks that don't seem to have more obvious rewards in sight. I found this rather intriguing and it presents an opportunity to further some of my work with neurotransmitters. My thought is that if a person has ADHD, but knew how to work with a neurotransmitter entity or several of them, the person could work with the entities to produce more of the neurotransmitters and regulate the ADHD. This kind of magical work could be done as a supplement to medicine being taken or done by itself.
I made contact with dopamine today, and will be contacting the other NT's soon. While I've never been diagnosed with ADHD, it would still be useful to work with the NT's to see if in fact, in working with that part of the brain, it's possible to focus the attention better.
I'll be writing more about this as events progress.
The Water of Forgiveness
A few days ago, I did my Mahjan (ritual) to Aruhani. I visited the hostling of Bones at the World Tree and wasked if I would drink the water of memory of the Water of Forgetfulness. I drank the Water of memory. The last few days, memory has revealed itself more in negative patterns than anything else. I was reminded of words I spoke, or actions I did that were negative. Today I did the Mahjan to Lunil, the Dehar of the moon and the blue flame, but also of water. I traveled to the domain and Lunil asked me if I'd drink the water of forgiveness. Forgiveness has been on my mind a bit lately, both forgiveness of others and myself, so I thought I might give it a try. I drank the water from a cup the Dehar provided me. And then I went on a long journey to different places in my life where something happened and instead of being harsh toward myself, I felt compassionate. I felt like I was in an ocean of memory. It was multi-colored.
I think forgiveness will be the next theme in my year long work with the element of love.
I finished the meditation to find an hour had passed. Lunil told me to visit him any time, suggested I might want to work with the concept of forgiveness with him for a while. I just might.
Enlightenment does not take you off the hook!
Sometimes people have funny definitions of enlightenment, as in if I'm enlightened I can do no more wrong. I've never thought of enlightenment as that. Rather to me is it: Once you are aware, i.e. enlightened, you can no longer use ignorance to excuse your actions. You have to take full responsibility. In Psychology without the self, by Mark Epstein, this is phrased much better: "Before Awakening, one can easily ignore or rationalize his shortcomings, but after enlightenment this is no longer possible. One's failings are painfully evident. Yet at the time a strong determination develops to rid oneself of them...Continuous training after enlightenment is required to purify the emotions so that our behaviors accord with our understanding."
That's pretty much the truth of enlightenment. You wake up and suddenly you recognize the effect your behavior has on you and others and you can't hide behind it anymore. The path is hard because once you recognize your failings you have to face them. And continuous training is a reality of enlightenment. Just because you are aware doesn't mean your behaviors automatically stop. I'm an excellent example of that because while I can definitely say I'm more aware of my behaviors, I'm also really having to work hard to change those behaviors and isn't easy. Knowledge does not equal wisdom...wisdom is only found after a person has actively chosen to change those behaviors by using that awareness to mindfully temper how s/he interacts. And that tempering usually involves making more mistakes, facing in full how you act, and then motivating yourself to change because you realize you don't want to be that way any more.
Enlightenment doesn't take you off the hook. It demands more of you. Edited to add: As an interesting side note, just as I finished writing this post, I got thwacked by reality over something that definitely falls into this category. Ayup...you never get let off the hook.
The Wealth Altar
Recently, Manifesting Prosperity: Wealth Magic Anthology, which I edited was released. Vince Stevens, one of the contributors, and I, presented a workshop at Pantheacon about wealth magic based off the different articles we wrote for the anthology. The workshop went well and I got a lot of ideas off of it myself, which I've already put to good use. And in one case, my wealth altar, I got a good reminder of the need to tend that particular shrine. When I got from Pantheacon, I looked at my shrine and realized it needed some cleaning. I have my altar placed on top of a file cabinet that my wife and I use to keep track of our paperwork. The shrine was dusty, had paper all over it, and wasn't exactly a model of what wealth meant to me. Also one of the paintings I use for wealth work wasn't placed over the shrine, which is where it really needs to be.
So over this last half week I started cleaning up the wealth magic altar. I got all the papers cleared off the top of the file cabinet, got the painting put into it's proper place over the altar, and put appropriate ritual items on the altar, such as my checkbook. On Saturday my wife and I cleaned out the cabinet and went through all the paperwork, getting rid of what we didn't need and filing everything else in the apropriate places.
When all of that was finished, I did a ritual to honor the wealth entity I'd created. And I decided every Thursday would involve some kind of ritual to said entity to show it appreciation of the wealth we do have.
Not too surprisingly, after all this effort, the energy in our home felt cleaner. But I also noticed how much more easily aspects of wealth seemed to flow tomorrow me. It shows me, once again, just how important it is to make a consistent effort when it comes to certain types of manifestations. Making time to really acknowledge the wealth I have always seems to call out for more wealth to come.
A Deharan Caste Ascension
While I was at Pantheacon, I had the opportunity to perform a Caste ascension in the Deharan system of magic. A caste ascension is essentially both an acknowledgement that a practitioner has reached a point in the current caste where they've learned what they need to learn, and also a method of strengthening the energetic body of the person so that s/he can work with the exercises in the next caste. The Caste Ascension I performed was the first one I ever did in this system, so it was a new experience, but based on my own previous experiences in Dehara, plus some guidance from the Dehar Miyacala, I had a fairly good idea of what to do. The Har I performed the ascension on is named Poison and s/he was kind enough to share har own experiences, which I'll link to at the bottom of this post.
In the hotel room, I briefly explained what I intended to do and made sure Poison was comfortable with it. I then did the calling of the Dehara to each quarter, with a final call to the Aghama in the center. Once we had the circle established, I invoked Miyacala into me and asked the Dehar to guide me as I did the ascension ritual.
Miyacala asked Poison if s/he was ready for the ascension and s/he nodded. Miyacala then described what Neoma meant, namely that Neoma is the shield, protecting others, but also providing protection for the self. As an aside, I tend to think of Neoma also as recognizing the need to establish boundaries both within the self and with interactions with others, in order to protect all involved. Miyacala asked Poison wanted to take from har studies, what goals s/he had, etc. Poison's answer (which you can read in the link) seemed to satisfy Miyacala. Miyacala stepped forward and ttraced the symbol of Neoma on Poison's forehead, while vocalizing it. The agmara or energy of Poison began to shift, changing to the color of Neoma. Poison told me later that s/he felt hotflashes while this occurred.
Once Miyacala had finished raising Poison's Agmara to Neoma, he left me. I proceeded to close the circle down, while thanking the Dehara. Poison and I talked for a bit, and then later chatted with hir partner and my own partner.
I found the ascension ritual to be a very powerful experience. Even when Miyacala was invoked, I still felt present in my body, but I let har direct my movements and do what s/he needed to do to perform the ascension ritual.
On another note, It was really fantastic to work with someone in this system, in person. Until now, the majority of my workings were done online, except for when I worked with Maryam on several occasions.
For people who are interested in reading Poison's account, Go to here: http://poison-hara.livejournal.com/4169.html
Between
I'm reading On Becoming an Alchemist by Catherine MacCoun. A good book, I recommend to any level of magical expertise. She brings up the concept of Between, or liminal reality/space/time, etc and as always I find this concept fascinating because it's one I've worked with a lot. She also discusses Style, which can be interpreted as the essence of a person, or the personal signature. Again, an intriguing concept. I see some intriguing possibilities for relating the two to each other. The style a person exhibits, the identity if you will, creating a between space. Actually the between space is created quite frequently by people. Have a really good conversation with someone and you'll marvel at the time that passed, because you entered into a pocket dimension that just existed between you and that person. Get into a state of do easy or not-doing and you're in a between state. Which then makes me wonder if it's ever possible to NOT be in a between state of one form or another.
Yes I know, I'm being subjective here with that last statement. I could easily say that we're always in between states and then go look for them, proving because I think of them. Still if you look into neuroscience and states of mind this kind of concept gets played with a lot, in terms of the types of consciousness people exhibit everyday. We have our everyday consciousness and perhaps between states are very subtle in that from of consciousness. So we only obviously perceive them when we meditate and we can clearly point to that and say, "Aha! that's a between state."
But right now I'm writing this post, and I'm in a different reality from the people around me. I'm aware of them, I can interact with their styles, their realities, etc, but I'm still in a between state of some sort, just a very subtle between state, as opposed to something more blatant such as meditation or doing a ritual. In fact, I'd say such overt displays as meditation or ritual are necessary for teaching people how to perceive between states, liminal realities, but I'd also point out that sometimes appreciating the subtlety of a different state of consciousness, appreciating the only slightly out of this reality between state is equally important to really being able to do magic on the fly. I'm writing this post, and even though I'm aware of my environment, aware of people speaking on the phone, or walking by, I'm also aware that I'm in a between state, in a difference place...They are in my physical environment, but are they in my liminal reality? It's a subtle, but important distinction to make. No worries, I'll be exploring this in much more detail.
Namaste
Transformation and re-dedication
A week and a half ago I got interviewed by Leisa Refalo for tarot connections. She and I happen to live in the same city, so she was game for doing the interview in person. Because the majority of my work with Tarot is practical magic oriented as opposed to divination, she was curious as to how I could demonstrate some of my work. I won't ruin it for my readers, because we discuss what I did in the interview she and I had. However what really interested me was that before we did the interview, she gave Lupa and I a white candle with the Strength card displayed, saying she had a feeling we needed it. The Strength card is also the Lust card, depending on the deck and portrays Babalon riding the Sacred Beast. I found this relevent because I'm working with Babalon for the course of a year in my elemental balancing work and because I had also dedicated myself to her.
In the course of the interview I did my magical working with the cards and the final card I picked as an outcome for the working I was doing was the Transmutation card, or transformation. This card was important because it signaled a transformation of my relationship with certain aspects of my life. I'm not going to go into detail about those transformations, as they are of a highly personal nature.
Tonight when I go home, I will be buying several bottles of red wine. One will be for a friend, but one will be for the lady in red. I will light the flame of the blessed candle. I will take my blade, with the hilt of the beast and pass it above the flame, as I call her. I will paint a picture and use the smoke of the candle to purify and bless the picture. I will take the bottle of red wine and pour some into a cup, with a bit of blood and cum to go in as well to flavor it with my essence. I will commune and re-dedicate myself to her.
Her hand is on my shoulder. We will keep walking and talking with each other, just as we had before, but in a different vein. There's so much she can teach me and she is still my guide for this year's elemental love working, but also for beyond. We are transformed, now we continue the journey of refinement.
Dancing with Dehara
In the late nineties, I picked up the original Wraeththu series and had my life changed by it. I knew right after I read it that I would meet Storm Constantine. I couldn't tell you why I knew (at that time), but I knew it had to happen. Shortly after, I did in fact make contact with her online and we started talking about magic and Wraeththu. I remember telling her that I felt called to meet her. Only later did I realize that Thiede, one of the characters of the series had facilitated that. Thiede is the Aghama, the central god head of the Wraeththu universe and also the master of space/time (and yes an inspiration for Space/Time Magic). It wasn't that surprising that he decided to reach out and tap us both to work together. He wanted something more than just a fantasy series from Storm. I worked with the Deharan system of magic for a few years...it was only when I moved to Seattle that the work slackened off. After moving to Portland though, I recently got pinged by Thiede..."Well what's keeping you from doing the work? I want you to start working through the caste systems in the first book and the get back to work on what I had you working on before".
Over the last couple of weeks, I've started integrating Dehara back into my life. I finished up the first two castes of Ara and Neoma and I'm about to do Byrnie again. I've felt as if some of the wheels in my head have been freshly cleaned and regreased by the work. And each time I've called the Dehara, I've felt their presence, sharp, strong. And I wonder how I could forget that.
Seems like Storm and other people have been pinged as well. It's as if a signal went off and everyone raised their heads, blinked at each other and got back to work. In my case, some very necessary internal work has had to occur, before I could go further with this particular system of magic.
A lot of my internal alchemy, sex magic, and space/time magic work has been inspired by Wraeththu. The internal work I've been doing is reflective of some of the path work that goes into the first six castes of Dehara, which are very much focused on self-knowledge and recognition of how a person approaches reality. Once a person recognizes that, s/he also recognizes how the magical work done can effect reality. The magician is trained, in this system, to cultivate the internal in order to effect the external, while also appreciating that the external necessarily not only corresponds to the internal, but also effects how thei nternal responds...it's a cycle.
The other night I did a purification ritual, calling the Dehara into my own, purifying certain tools, rebuilding relationships with them and sharing breath...exchanging essence for essence. I'm dancing with the Dehara again. I'll be sure to post updates as the work continues.
The Path is Hard
I'm reading The Fulfilments of Fate and Desire by Storm Constantine now, for my pleasure reading, but also to get reacquainted with a magical system I work in, called Dehara. There's a lot of magic in the books themselves, but continuing to develop a magical system around those books is something I've felt called to do lately. Some of that actually relates to a couple of my previous posts about service and deity, and being pinged about this particular matter. But more on Dehara later...this is a post about something else. I've been thinking lately about the characters in the Wraeththu series, and in particualr Cal's journey. I have a lot of empathy for Cal, because I definitely feel like I'm on a similar journey of purification and self-knowledge. At one point Cal is told, "The Path is Hard," when he complains about it.
Yep...the path is hard. Really hard sometimes. A person might be tempted to say, "Well it's only as hard as you make it". A flippant response, but not entirely incorrect. There is some truth that the hardness of any task is at least partially determined by the person doing the task. But even when a task could be easier, that doesn't mean it's not hard. A good example, for me, comes from earlier today, when I meditated and was confronted by an aspect of myself, which essentially said, "Stop pretending I don't exist, or I'll continue sabotaging you." Certainly it was easier to dialogue with that aspect, then continue denying it. But that didn't mean it was easy to face that aspect. Suddenly, I was facing again all those times where I hadn't really been honest with myself about it or the needs it embodied, and well...some problems occurred, because of actiosn I took. I'm responsible for those actions and the effect they had on others, but moreso I'm responsible for the effect it's had on me. The denial I've caused to myself inevitably inflicts harm on myself, and so while my path is easier, it still involves facing that harm, coming to peace with that as part of coming to peace with the aspect.
Throughout the original trilogy and even to some degree in the second trilogy, Cal is portrayed as a toxic character. He embodies what happens when you do not know yourself...the toxicity he spreads is chaotic. He shakes up the lives of everyone. Even in the process of learning to be honest with himself, to cleanse himself, to come peace with everything that occurred in the past, he's still a chaotic influence, but he begins to stabilize as he continues on this path of self-realization.
Sometimes I think what makes the path so hard is that awareness of toxicity in myself. I can be toxic, to myself or to others. The potential is there for everyone. I can be a toxic flower, beautiful to behold, but taste of me and I will surely wreck your life. That's one way to look at it.
But I also have to remind myself that it's growing pains, don'tcha know? Really. I'm not always toxic...I might not be at all. I'm just someone muddling my way on this path I call life, learning as best I can...It's far easier to be hard on myself than to recognize that in fact I don't have to be that hard. So where does magic fit into all of this?
Magic, in my experience of the last few years, involves a lot of internal work, a lot of internal change. I can't say I always felt that way...For a long time I considered magic to be more or less external. Some internal awareness was there, but I was mostly concerned with getting results. I could summon up entities, do sigils, etc, and get results, and that was all that mattered. Magic was great for solving external problems, but I didn't really think about where the root of those problems was coming from (or at least my responsibility for those problems). Only in the last few years did my magical approach shift to the internal, so that I do most of my work internally and then let the changes manifest externally. Doing the internal work meant really starting to be honest with myself about why I was even doing magic in the first place and what it was I was hoping to get out of it.
I've come face to face with a lot in the last few years. I'm currently working with the element of love and facing all of the internal demons associated with that concept for me. And so, just as Cal discovers, the path is hard...but it does get easier as time goes on. Because the more you work through, the less baggage you have holding you down, and the easier the external situations get...and then you realize the real strength of magic isn't found in the neat special effects or even in making results happen (Though those are always nice perks)...its found in really embracing the reality of yourself on all levels, without attachment...without lust for results...
Not being...not doing, and in all of that finding something we could call freedom, self knowledge, enlightenment...whatever you want, or not. I'll call it a lifetime of adventure, discovery, and experience. Or walking the path...it does get easier, really.
Continuing some thoughts on Diety and Service
In my previous post about Deity and service I got some comments and they got me thinking further about some of what I was exploring in that last post. One commenter, in particular, asked for some defintions. 1. Define Deity
I define a Deity as a pan-dimensional being that has its own existence, and lives on a different plane than this one. Deities can exist independent of people and they have their own power, but I also think that people provide the deity some of its power, and to a degree define it. The power is provided by the belief the people have in the deity. If people don't believe, the deity doesn't have as much power, as it would have if people believed in it. The deity is also partially defined by people, in terms of the sphere of influence or the meanings people provide it. Those meanings provide the deity power, but as I mentioned earlier they can also , to a degree limit the deity, because they also define where the deity exerts its power. A diety of love, for instance, doesn't really have much influence over a battle. A good example would be where aphrodite gets wounded when she goes out into the battlefield...it's not her place, not her realm of influence. She has power, but war isn't included in that power. Another interesting aspect to this is that while deities have power, the methods for how they use that power, as it applies to this plane of reality may involve the worshippers they have. Those worshippers are physical vehicles...they exist here...they enable the deity to influence events more directly than they might be able to otherwise...in shore the deities may need worshippers as a way of effecting reality...of course they also give benefits to their worshippers.
Now, I also think a deity can grow...one reason deities may have worshippers is to be able to not only have a pair of helping hands in the physical world, but also to be able to learn from the experiences people have here. They partake of those experiences vicariously. Invocation is a good example. you invoke a god and get possessed for a while so the god can use your body, but also experience this reality more directly.
Maybe the experiences deities get from people is what helps them grow and refine their power and even their existence...something to consider...and again this brings up the questions of identity I mentioned in the last post, both for the people involved and the deity.
2. Define “service”
In the context of the deity-human relationship, I think service occurs on both ends. The worshipper agrees to believe in the deity, agrees to serve the deity by performing tasks for the deity, and even letting the deity have access to hir, via invocation. At the same time, the deity serves the person. The person seeks the deity, because the deity represents access to some deep meanings. A deity of lust for instance provides access to the deepest layers of desire a person may have. The deity provides a medium or interface to access those deepest layers. The person needs to experience those layers, and the deity provides that opportunity. The diety may also provide the person much needed lessons or discipline or other experiences that help that person come to peace with what the deity represents. It seems odd to me that, in fact, this facet of the deity-human relationship is rarely examined, as if people should not get anything out of the experiences they have with deity.
3. Define “Conditions of Service”
This falls back to number two. From my own experiences conditions of service seems to vary from deity to deity. Some deities want a one-time offering, others want more sustained work. My service to Babalon for instance is of a more sustained type. Conditions can change as well. Both the person and deity are living and the relationship that is had also changes. Likewise I think at least some conditions change as that relationship changes YMMV.
4. Is a fish more “powerful” than an anteater?
Depends on the context...and in fact this question admirably applies to what has been discussed. Is a human more powerful than a deity? Certainly not in the native environment of the deity (The human might not even be able to exist in that environment). In Malkuth, it's not so much more powerful, as a human has a type of power here that the deity may not have, which could be a good reason for the deity to want to have worshippers. Some might consider this blasphemous, but I think the following questions should be considered in some depth by people dedicating themselves to deities: Why does the deity choose me to interact with? What am I providing it, that it can't get otherwise? What can I learn from this experience?
Asking and answering these questions can help us understand the effect of deity on our own identites, as well as on how we live our lives. It may help us consider as well, what we hope to learn from our experiences with the deity. finally, it may explain why some people sometimes stop working with particular deities...perhaps they learned the lessons they needed to learn...perhaps the deity learned what it needed to learn.
The nature of days
I feel like today is thursday, and then I stop and realize it's actually Wednesday, but that for me it is thursday, because this Friday I will be off. This got me thinking about the meanings we associate with days, and what those days mean to us. It seems to me that people have meanings associated with each day, particularly days in the work week. We know for instance that thursday means the work week is almost done. Just one more day and we're finished. We know that Friday is the end of the week, it feels shorter...and then Wednesday is probably the longest day, the hump day, the day where the end is at a distance.
And Saturday and sunday have their own meanings as well. Days of rest, days of joy, days to not do anything associated with work...well that is if you work at a standard job. And lets not forget that weekends for some people are different days then saturday and sunday. I imagine also days have different meanings to people who own businesses.
And then too when your schedule is changed somewhat, it changes the meaning of the day. Wednesday this week is Thursday for me. The progression of days seems to echo the progression of time and the meaning we associate with it...do days become identities, have identities? Is the character of a day defined by what people do in it? Does a day have a life of its own, a conception of itself?
Do those questions seem silly or academic? Depends on how alive you think reality is, I suppose...
Further thoughts on service and deities
In my post on magic sometimes being like a bad acid trip, one thing I discussed was how being in service to the gods really involved those gods being in service to us. Where that concept comes from is Buddhism and how that particular belief system views gods. It acknowledges that the gods have more power in certain ways than humans do, but that very power is what entraps those gods. Those gods are limited and defined by what that power represents. They are attached to those meanings and cannot detach so long as people call on them to access what those gods represent. The gods become interfaces of identity for people to work with. Those interfaces represent the deep structures, the nebulous concepts that people want to work with. The gods provide structure for accessing those deep structures. When a person serves a god of death, what are they really serving? Are they serving the actual god, or the concept of death as represented by that god, or the identity of death as given a face by that god? And why do they need to be in service to that god? In fact, such service from a Buddhist perspective is an attachment to that power, and yet such service can be liberating. By choosing to work with the deity and it's method of identification with the deep structure they really want to connect with, people are ultimately getting the deity to serve them.
The deity shapes those people who serve it, provides them experiences they need, and ultimately ends up freeing them of the very attachment that drove them to serve the deity in the first place. Why? Because the deity has served its function, has served the people that serve it. A diety cannot, in the end, not serve the people that come to it. The deity is bound to service by the very power it has, and by what it represents. So long as people call on the deity, the deity cannot be free of the service or the power it has taken on. It is not free of the attachment to meaning, to the deep structure that people give it. The deity serves those people, even as it demands service. It's very demand of service is calculated to give those people the experiences they need to have in order to grow. They serve their deities with devotion and lose themselves in that devotion and so come to understand what it was they were really seeking. Liberation results when that understanding is achieved. At that point, the person can decide if s/he really needs to be attached anymore to that concept. The deity's work/service for that person is done when that occurs.
A deity cannot be free of it's own service, it's own power until people no longer need it. The very power it has creates obligation. Like a king who ascends the throne, the deity can never resign or abdicate it's responsibilities. The king is always on duty, always on task. The king has power, but that very power binds him to the people, even when it doesn't seem like it does. The same is true for the diety. It has power. It can compel people, it can control them, but it is also controlled by its own service. The most powerful diety has less freedom than the most powerless person because the deity is defined by the domain of influence and meaning it represents. It can never not be that.
This brings into question some intriguing concepts of identity as it applies to deity and to people. What is the role of meaning within identity? How is a person's identity shaped by the attachments and meanings s/he takes on in life? What kind of service or obligation does this create and how is magic used to either enforce or free one from those meanings and attachments? What is the role of deity in the identity of a person?
These are some of the ideas I am pondering and working through in my own life and naturally, I'll be expanding upon this a lot more in the books I write, but this is something for all of you to chew on in the meantime.
An article on time travel
http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1580364,00.html This is an article from Time Magazine on time travel (The humor of this sentence does not escape me btw). It appears that there are sections of the brain that only come alive when we are doing nothing. These sections, known as the dark network, in the article allow us to remember the past or day dream about the future.
It's an intriguing idea, but it's mostly presented as an automatic function, something we do without really realizing it. The article isn't very clear on the neuroscience behind it, but that's hardly surprising, given that's its a popular magazine.
I have written, in Space/Time Magic about daydreaming the future, using day dreams to specifically created visualized futures and then bring thsoe futures into the present when you are snappedo ut of the day dream, but I seem some potential expansion on that, even though this article is rather vague, as well as some expansion on retroactive magic when it comes to changing the past via memory.
"Sometimes Magic is like a Bad Acid Trip"
"Sometimes magic is like a bad acid trip" 
solis93 said to me yesterday as we were talking on the phone about editing, Hermeticism, and magic in general.
Yes, yes in fact magic as a spiritual path, as a mystic path, is sometimes like a bad acid trip. I'm not talking about service to any gods here either. I know some people believe that's hard work, but what I'm talking about is a whole different ballgame, because in the end the Gods themselves will hold us back if they can. They have power, and yet they are, in the Eastern conception of them, bound by that very power, attached to what they represent, and what they mean, and so that power becomes weakness for them, because they can never move beyond what they are. They can never transcend the state they are in. Service to them, while useful, ultimately is designed to free people of them, because it exposes the limitations of the very power the gods have. Do I speak blasphemy to some of you? So be it. Blasphemy it may be, in the end, and yet we are all on journeys that are journeys for us to walk the path we walk and so the gods becomes tools, becomes servants to us, much like a king becomes a servant...He has power, but also obligation, and service...he is never free, he can never not be king. No one will let him retire. He has to die to free himself, and that death, while a transformation, nonetheless is the ending of any lessons he could learn. The same is true of the gods. Until they die, they are never free of the service. Even when they hold you in service to them, still they exist in a more profound slavery to you! For, in the end, unwittingly perhaps, or perhaps with conscious awareness, they are really instructing you on your path, providing you the means to move on...to transcend, to transform. And so even in service to them, you are ultimately in service to yourself, to the HGA, to the highest self, to omnil, 0 and 1, all things and none, Kia, nothingness and everything, that which is so profound about yourself that should you reach it, you will look back at the bad acid trip and laugh, because it was just a small step in a long journey. The gods serve you even as you serve them, like an infinity sign, bound together in a continuing cycle of suffering and desire...it will never end, unless you move further up the spiral, and yet to move up is to submit, to be destroyed and then created again, rising like the phoenix from the ashes, even as the ashes form the alchemical seed of transformation that moves you profoundly across the universe.
When I talk about magic, in this context, I'm not talking about just obtaining a result. I'm talking about doing the internal work, about doing service to yourself and others by doing this work. When I meditate and I delve inward, I'm on a path of discovery...not to destroy the ego, but to help the ego...not get rid of the self, but give the self different perspectives, free the self of the behaviors that hold the self back. This is work that is humbling because it shows you so much about yourself and the insignificance of it all. And yet in that insignificance is significance...0 and 1, The seed. And from the seed, and the roots, in the internal depths, arises the plant, the power, the path, the flowering of life, unfolding, revealing, creating the external to match the internal so that the internal can learn from the external...no dualism here...we all come together and we all fall apart. In the moment we experience identity, we experience every variation thereof and from that find profound patterns that reveals the secrets of no-thing.
The internal work is the highest test of the self, the test of your identity, your transcendence, that who you are. The methods we use to do that internal work, whether through meditation, through ceremonial magic, through any of it really, are all designed to teach us, to help us learn. But this no denial of the body, or desires, but rather an embrace of them, a coming to a healthy place with them, a recognition of where they fit within us, and how they teach us. To deny them is to provide more suffering than we had before...but to accept them, define boundaries for them, even as we submit, is to come to understanding.
Through understanding arises opportunity...growth...Eheieh
Arise