Update on Laban work

I've been doing the first set of dance stretches in the Laban book for a little while now and discovered in the process an awareness of my body and its muscles I previously lacked. It's quite an intriguing feeling and it's translated out into the dance floor in terms of some moves I've been doing that previously I wouldn't have thought of. I also have used it as part of my paratheatrical work and one of my next paratheatrical works is going to involve using excitatory work to get in touch with my body consciousness, per the suggestion of a reader of this blog. I find that Laban combines very nicely with paratheatrical work in terms of getting the body revved up, but this will a further experiment of actually using Laban to work with my body consciousness directly.

On a different note, I did take a different tact with the body work, in terms of inhibitory meditation and found that focusing just on one cell led to better results in terms of working with the consciousness of the cell and getting another possible direction I can take my time work as a result.

Why I choose to use my name publically

When I was eighteen, I was outed from the broom closet by the parents of a friend. I remember coming home and being told by my mom that I had a half hour to either burn my books or move out. I had no job, half a tank of gas, and was in high school, so I opted to burn the books, though I hid the ones I hadn't read. I remember she even made me burn my books of magic comic series just because it had the word magic in it. I also remember feeling shame for my choice and a week later telling her that if she ever made me make that choice again I would disown her. Half a year later, still eighteen, I remember getting a phone call from one of the parents of that friend. He threatened to kill me and sang hymns, telling me how I was damned to hell for my beliefs. I told him I had a crossbow bolt for him and called the police. He didn't call after the police had called him, but those two experiences helped me realize something fundamental: Hiding my beliefs wasn't the answer. By hiding my beliefs I encouraged the very ignorance those people displayed toward me. I determined that I would never hide my beliefs. I wrote my books using my name, regardless of what professional or personal consequences might occur, because I knew that it was more important to be transparent than to hide what I believe because of the ignorance and fear of others.

Fast forward to the present. I am kinky, poly, and an occultist. I'm also a self-employed business and social media consultant. If you google my name you'll find a mixture of all of these realities in the search results. I was told recently by a business mentor that several people felt the dragon on my business site was occultish. I doubt they'd actually searched my name, but I recall telling her that if they were that freaked out by the logo then they'd be even more freaked out by my beliefs.

Ironically, perhaps, I've encountered people in the business world that have told me that they also practice magic...so perhaps my openness has encouraged them to be more open as well. What I do know is this: By choosing to be open about my beliefs I feel that I'm making a statement of integrity and hopefully educating the ignorant in the process that my beliefs do not destine for hell or make me an unsuitable person in any other way, shape, or form.

I will never hide my choices or who I am, to make it convenient for someone else. If you choose not to do business with me because of my spiritual and lifestyle choices, or choose to judge me because of your own inadequacies, it's not my problem. I cannot and will not lessen myself for any person or business just to coddle their sense of reality. I'd rather people accepted me for who I am, and while in the course of my business day, I don't blatantly advertise my lifestyle choices and beliefs, if the conversation comes up I don't hide it either. Because when we choose to hide, that's when we lose.

A reflection on God of War

I've been playing God of War 1 and 2 in preparation for the release of God of War 3, out later this month. There are two elements of this game that always stand out to me. First, just how much the game draws from the cheesy 1970's movies. Even the monsters look like claymation, which I personally think is cool. Having watched those movies when I grew up, I have a fine pop culture appreciation of what GOW is based off of. But the other element that always stand out to me is what I consider to be the extremely accurate depiction of the capricious nature of the Greek gods. If you read the myths about the gods, they as often punish as they reward and even the gifts they give are ultimately double-edged. For me, a game such as GOW is an opportunity to retell and reconnect with such beings.

And that is really the power of contemporary technology. It provides us new ways to connect with old paradigms, and at the same time births something new, which comes to be as evocative as what had already been there. It's not that GOW is a better version of the Greek myths (far from it) but rather a reinterpretation, with a new kind of interaction provided as well. And there can be something magic in that...all depends on the perspective you bring to it.

Body consciousness experiment

Today I decided to start working with the consciousness of my body and its perception of time. My first step was to do a meditation where I got in touch with the consciousness of my body as an overarching consciousness. In other words, instead of trying to connect with just a cell, I would try to connect with my entire body's sense of consciousness. I think my approach to this was informed by being human, and the human tendency to think of consciousness as singular. I'm not sure how effective that was, in this particular case. I did start out small, with one cell, and thought that I might connect with the entire consciousness by getting the cell to communicate to other cells a consistent message. This did seem to work to some degree, as I got to a point where I had a definite impression I was in touch with what I might consider to be a body consciousness that was comprised of multiple consciousnesses that were focused on communicating together to communicate with me, but it didn't feel (for lack of better word) right. Nor was it really helpful for me, in terms of working with the sense of time. Instead what I did get was a communication of urgency, which pushed me out of trance and got me into the bathroom. I can't say the body didn't communicate, for it surely did, but I think I will take a different tack to this experiment next time. Still you can't know what will work until you try and trying this approach did help some. I just don't think it's the right approach...

Review of The Hidden Brain

Review of The Hidden Brain by Shankar Vedantam Proponents of mindfulness and conscious intent may be disappointed when they read this book and realize just how much our unconscious dictates and influences our decisions. The author isn't afraid to tackle tough issues, such as how the hidden brain influences people's thinking about racial and gender issues, as well as how the group mind can actually harm you as opposed to help you. I found this to be a fascinating read because the author presents some compelling evidence that supports his claim and shows just how much the unconscious effects everyday life and decisions. I recommend this book as a refreshing and eye-opening perspective on how we make decisions.

5 out of 5

Working with Purson part 2

This morning, after my regular meditations, I decided to do a working with Purson. In this working, we ended up discussing the limitations of the concept of time. Purson noted that time is ultimately a subjective experience, used as a way of indicating change. But time does not age us, nor does it cause a building to go back to nature or cause the sun to rise and fall. We might attribute those events to time, because time is a comfortably abstract concept that can explain all of that. the reality is that nature is responsible for these kinds of changes. Just as water and air erode a rock over time, so to does a building gradually get changed by the caress of nature. The sun doesn't even rise, so much as the Earth moves around it. And as for the human body, the biology of the body inevitably changes, so that eventually death occurs.

Yet so often is much if not all of this attributed to time, partially because we use time to measure the rate at which these changes occur, but partially because time has become a metaphor for change. Purson's point, however, is that it's important to recognize the limitations of that metaphor so that we can understand and work with the concept of time with more accuracy.

He suggested that I work with my body's sense of time more closely, specifically working with it on the cellular level so that I could understand how time works on the biological level. So I have my next experiment set out for me...how gracious Purson is!

At the same time, We discussed how the biological markers of time are what allows a person to find variants of him/herself or if you will possibilities of him/herself...which makes sense. I did such work using the DNA as a way of finding possible versions of myself.

Purson also noted that the concept of time is really useful for working with possibilities, because it lends itself to helping a perceive those possibilities and bring them into reality.

Overall an interesting session. I have some directions to move in with my time work, some of which is a continuation of previous work, but from new angles.

Tattoos as magical oaths

I was looking at the green wolf paw tattoo that I got shortly after Lupa and I got married. We're getting divorced now, but it never once occurred to me to get the tattoo removed. In fact, I intend to keep it, because it's a very significant tattoo to me, as are all my other ones. I consider my body to be the most powerful magical "tool" I have. It is a physical embodiment of my life, and a record of that living. When I get a tattoo on my body, I am placing a record of a significant even, entity, or person in my life, but also taking a magical oath in relationship to that event, entity, or person, as it pertains to my life.

My first tattoo is a red orange phoenix with my symbol on it. I got it to signify my choice to move from the East to the West, to signify a Rebirth in my life. It marks my choice to rebirth my life completely and its fair to say since moving to the West coast, I have rebirthed my life in ways I couldn't even imagine.

My second Tattoo is the Green Wolf Paw, with an L in it. It represents Lupa. I got it because I wanted to mark in my skin the permanence of my relationship with Lupa. While we're no longer romantic partners and will soon be divorced, Lupa is a significant person in my life. She will always be in my life, in some capacity just by the fact that we wrote a book together. I'm comfortable with that idea.

My third Tattoo is a Blue Dragon. The Blue Dragon represents PDX and Northern Oregon. It's a magical oath that signifies the recognition that Portland and the surrounding area is my home and a place I intend to live for the rest of my life. While I have admittedly not visited many other countries, I have been all over the US and this is the one place that has always felt like home.

My fourth Tattoo is a pair of eyes and a phrase: From 0 to 1. It represents the year of emptiness work, my connection with my highest self and my vow to recognize and appreciate emptiness, instead of trying to fill it. From 0 to 1 also signifies the choice to manifest possibility into pro-activity, instead of reactivity.

All of these tattoos are powerful for me. They are something I can't remove, because even if I did remove them, something would be left. They are a record of my life, but also oaths I've taken. I've only realized that recently in a fully conscious way, but this recognition speaks mindfully to me of the choices I've made in my life.

A meditation on love

This morning I decided to meditate on love, and more specifically on a realization I had of a pattern of getting involved with people I showed interest in over the last couple of years who, in one form or another, didn't fully return the interest. This includes people I would actually have a romantic relationship with. This pattern is a variant of a pattern I used to have where I'd only get involved with people I knew would reject me. I did a Taoist dissolving technique and used the breath to lead me to the place where I felt the physical blockage, around my heart. I sat with the blockage, letting the breath go in and out, and around the blockage, gradually loosening up the feeling of tension in my body. As the tension dissipated, I let the emotions "talk" to me, show me really what the issue is. In this case, I saw myself restraining myself to fit into what I thought other people wanted. I could see this belt across my body. It fit uncomfortable and it was being used to constrain and restrain me.

I decided to undo the belt. I pulled it out of it's clasp, and slipped it off. Immediately my body seemed to relax. And I heard," It's more important to be you than to try and fit yourself to other people's expectations. Aren't you tired of trying to be something you aren't?

Good advice. I am tired of holding myself back...not letting myself be the passionate, intense person I can be. I've tried to stuff myself into a box, with my relationships, instead of being true with myself and recognizing when a relationship isn't a good fit for me. And in the process I've hurt myself and the person I was trying to be a fit for.

I took the belt off and realized that I'm ready to be done with relationships where I'm trying to fit into what that person wants. I'd rather be myself and be appreciated for that, without having to constrain myself. And sure I'm willing to collaborate with someone, to figure out how we can be positive influences in each other's lives, but I don't want to be afraid that I'm too much or too intense for someone.

I kept breathing in and out, and gradually came back to this moment, this space, yet different. I don't feel so tense...so constrained.

Review of the Eight-Circuit Brain

Review of the Eight-Circuit Brain: Navigational Strategies for the Energetic Body by Antero Alli With this book, the Eight-Circuit Model has turned into a practical system can be meaningfully applied to making changes in one's life. The previous books on the subject, while providing a good diagnostic perspective, never really moved beyond that. Antero incorporates a lot of physical activities into the eight-circuit mode, which removes it from the purely abstract conceptual realm and creates a workable system that can be used for successful internal work and change. The author is clear and concise in his explanations and the exercises are easy to follow through on. I highly recommend this book to anyone.

5 out of 5

Magical Experiments is now a website

As you may or may not know, My ex-wife Lupa and I have gotten a divorce. It's a very amiable divorce, but we've agreed we're better off as friends, as opposed to romantic partners. One of the results of this has been a mutual decision to remove me from her website the Greenwolf. As such, in my persona as an occult author, I've moved my online presence to This blog, which I've turned into a website! I've created pages for each of my books, as well as the anthologies I've edited and you can order autographed copies of my books directly from me. I've also set up an e-newsletter list, where I'll post special content as well as occasional contests. You can sign up for it, either by clicking the link in this post or clicking the link on the right side bar under subscribe to my e-newsletter.

I've also set up a twitter account called magicexperiment and I'll be posting all my magical and spiritual content there from now on, while reserving my teriel account for my other business. Finally I've set up a Facebook fan page for my site, so please feel free to fan me.

In the near future, I'll be starting to offer teleseminars of some of my talks, so be on the look out for those in the near future.

There's been a lot of changes in my life recently, but I think they are all mostly positive. claiming this blog as a site is also part of my journey to claim my identity as myself.

One reason Why I don't worship gods

I was playing Assassin's Creed 2 recently and there was a point in the game, where the protagonist makes a brief speech that really resonated with me. He said the famous line of the assassins: "Nothing is True, Everything is Permitted", but then went on to tell the people that it was more important to find your own truth than to follow someone else and that too many people allowed themselves to the follow the truth of someone else, instead of choosing to discover their own truths. He noted that you could learn from other people, but that ultimately in the end you had to discover your own truth and walk your own path. And that...that really resonates with me. And it always has. I remember when I was a teenager and for a brief time, a born again Christian, that the pastor of the church I attended saw I read fantasy books and told me that those books were sinful and that the content was only about sinful things. And I remember thinking how limited that perspective was, and how I couldn't endorse believing in a god that was so narrow and limited, and I realized that at some point I wouldn't be a Christian, because being one was antithetical to who I am: A person who is full of curiosity and who wants to walk his own path, instead of following someone else. I realized I could not follow the path of the Christian God, because it wasn't my path or truth, and it never would be.

Little wonder then when I discovered magic was real that I also found, for myself, the beginning of the path I walk to this day, one where I ask the question and find the answers, where ultimately it is up to me to save myself, as opposed to having someone else die for my supposed sins.

And my encounters with Pagans who have, in their own way, expressed a similar fanaticism, a belief that there is a one true way (tm) and that the god(s) are the purveyors of that truth only convinces me further that following the path of another ultimately, for me, leads to a place that isn't my truth. It may be the truth of those other people, but I find that when you hand over your authority to another being and let that being dictate your choices, at that point you also give away your truth and allow it to be subsumed to the truth of another being.

I can work with a god. I can respect it, but I just can't worship it. Some will call that pride. It is a fundamental recognition that nothing is true and everything is permitted and if that is the case, then it is permitted for me to walk my own path and find my own truth and be responsible for it. And there are consequences for making that choice, but there is also freedom and knowing in the end that I am walking my path, pursuing my truth and that when I encounter the gods or other beings they are guides with information that represents a perspective to help me appreciate the journey I am on, but that is all they need to be for me, and I can give them respect for that.

And to be fair, I do recognize that for many people having a relationship where they worship a god or gods is the truth that works for them and is meaningful to them...and so long as they can do that in a way where it doesn't negatively impact others, I wish them the best on their journey to their respective truths, but I see so much harm committed in the name of deities, in the choice to follow what someone else says. I see it, and I cannot help but think that if these people chose to be fully responsible for themselves, to stop following the words written in a book, or told to them by some person or entity, but instead to question everything and to choose their actions carefully because they could recognize that they and they alone were responsible for their actions, that perhaps they wouldn't be so inclined to harm others just to prove how much they worship a god or how well they follow the path another provides them.

Working with Purson part 1

Tonight I did my first working with Purson, who is a goetic Daimon of Time, and is also the guardian of time in my elemental time work. I first asked Elephant if I could open the gates of time and space and he allowed me to do so. Then I called to Purson. I had the painting of his Seal on my right and the image of him in the Goetia on my left, with the Memory Box, in front of me. I placed my hands on the memory box, and journeyed into the spider web of time, where I encountered him. He was riding the bear and he blew his horn the silver gossamer strands of time vibrated in the sound.

He asked me if I understood the purpose of space and I explained I did, that each point of space represented a place, and that space itself was stillness not move. He told me then that time is the movement through space and that we move from space to space through time.

I felt a sense of movement in myself and he told me that was the silver strands of time. Each strand represents a multitude of possibilities, and when it is vibrated some of those possibilities can be accessed and turned into reality. That process occurs through the melding of the movement of time, to spacial stillness, which grounds the possibility into reality.

I saw then all these strands as webbing across spatial nodes, a spider web of time, where webbing could be sent in any direction to reach any nodal spatial point. Purson told me it was our linear limitations that made us think of time as a straight line, as a 2d experience, when it's really a multi-dimensional movement of possibility. He also told me that it was important to vibrate strands of time gently, not to force it, but rather to use just the slightest touch or sound, and then blew his horn to demonstrate, the sound rippling onward and onward and onward, never fading so much as changing our perceptions of it, because of how it changed the movement of time.

I thought then of Cerontis, my time entity and he said that what Cerontis did was act as a gravity well for the strands of time, directing them toward me. I had the perception then of these silver strands in my hands, wrapped around them, and that I didn't even need to move my hands to vibrate, but could gently direct my awareness to a given strand and start the process of movement that would generate the possibilities that I would want to manifest at a spatial node. After that Purson told me we'd work more later, but to meditate for now on what I learned and I realized as well he'd sent some of this information to me this past week, because I'd already been thinking along these lines, but now all the pieces fit together.

Announcement of new book - Neuro-Space Time Magic

I'm at Pantheacon this weekend. On Friday I presented my talk on Space/Time magic and included some new material on identity and cultural analyses of space and time. It was very well received. Later today I'll be at the Immanion press author panel co-hosting it with Lupa. I want to announce that I have started writing my new book Neuro Space Time Magic. I'm just about finished with the first chapter. I'll be making periodical updates on here as I progress with it.

Entity Communication

I occasionally get emails from fans of my books and I've decided that when I do, and if the question is interesting enough, I'll answer it on here. In this case I was asked about how I communicate with entities, and more specifically what the process is for communicating with an entity.

My approach to communicating with entities is determined in part by what it is I want to accomplish with the entity's aid, and also what it is I'm willing to give in return. And no, I'm not thinking of a faustian deal, so much as a recognition that the reality of any relationship is one where both (or more) parties need to agree to contribute something of value in order to make the relationship worthwhile. Once I've determined what I want, and what I will give, then I figure out the method of communication.

The method of communication can be standard methods of invocation or evocation, or a personalized method. For example, I will invoke an entity into me, and then ask that it help me paint the gift I will give it, in return for its services. So I use invocation, but also create the gift, which usually ends up acting as a device for evoking the entity down the line.

Communication consequently involves a combination of action, intention, and for me some degree of mental telepathy with said entity. I tend to have a dialogue in my mind when working with a given entity. That dialogue allows us both to communicate with each other, reach our agreement and then move on from there.

For further reading about my approach to entity work, I recommend reading Multi-Media Magic, which discusses my approaches to invocation and evocation at length.

In a Saturnian phase of build-up

I had an astrology reading done the other day. Given the recent changes in my life, I thought it might be useful to get an idea of the planetary influences I was dealing with. Appropriately enough, what I learned was that Saturn is playing a fairly role in my life right now. It's appropriate because of the time magic aspect that is rather significant to my life right now. Of particular note as well was that this particular influence of Saturn signifies a building period in my life, a period of creation. This makes sense to me, actually. The last five years I've spent cleaning my life out of my own issues and dysfunctions. Since switching to Time, I've felt that focus shift from purification to building something new. In someways, even the year in emptiness saw that, with the focus on my business, but the last couple of months has seen me actively working on what I would consider to be a new approach to my spirituality, and to my life overall. It was an insightful reading and confirmed a lot of details for me about the circumstances in my life and where I'm going with it. The divorce was really the final purification, and consequently in every way right now I am free to rebuild my life. I must say I am actually happy about that and look forward to seeing what I can do with it. In other news, I've been reading the Hidden Brain by Shankar Vedantam and have found the consequent insights about how the unconscious influences the conscious mind to be very useful in understanding situations that have occurred in the past, as well as present situations. I see this unconscious influence in how people will indulge in what are ultimately dysfunctional relationships because of cultural and social pressures to fit a certain image. It also confirms some ideas I have about identity and how it is shaped. I've actually started writing my next solo book on identity and magic. I'm only two pages in, but I'm putting in a bit of time each night, to keep motivated and focused.

And my final thought is of love and how toxic love as a cultural concept can be. Love doesn't cure all, and sometimes, many times, it traps us in situations that we'd be better off leaving...or rather the cultural beliefs about love trap us.

Lessons of the Elephant God

Today I did a working with Elephant, a check-in if you will. He said I was making good progress, learning to sit in the moment, but that he also noted that I still would sometimes get too focused on projected outcomes. And he is right. I've been getting more comfortable sitting in the present moment, but I still sometimes get caught up in projected outcomes, in fantasies, if you will. "You are your own worst obstacle, because you can't see what's in front of you. What are you dealing with right now in your life?" He asked.

"Divorce, figuring out what I'll do career wise, and also working on my small business"

So don't you think," he continued," that you owe it to yourself to be present in those circumstances and situations, without focusing so much on projected outcomes. You'll get to the future soon enough, but sit in this moment right now and be present with yourself and the environment around you. What do you need to know about this moment, about this place you are in?"

I thought about that and I realized what I really need to know is that I can be present in the insecurity, in the moments where everything isn't defined as much as I'd like. That until I was present in those moments, I might be missing out on details and information that could help me make an informed choice about the circumstances I found myself in.

There's no need to escape into a projected outcome, because doing so actually keeps you where you already were, but deludes you, instead of enabling you to be mindful and aware of yourself and your surroundings. That is the lesson the elephant god continues to teach me and each time I see it in action, I come closer and closer to accepting it and living it.

Space is the Place part 3

Two weeks ago, I found out I was getting a divorce. Needless to say that kind of threw me off when it came to magical work, but in truth it also lent itself to my work with space. We still live together but I moved into my own room. Getting used to having my own sleeping space has been rather interesting, especially since it's not something I've had for the last four years. Tonight I finally did my third working to Thiede, in this case to claim my new space as my ritual space. I pulled out nine stone eggs and arranged them in a circle around me, pulled out the memory box and got elephant's permission to open the gate of space/time. Then I evoked Thiede, and placed my hands on the memory box and let him guide me on a journey to claim my space.

He asked me what had changed in my space, and I told him my perspective, my sense of freedom, my place with different people. Then he showed me how to take the spatial awareness that we'd been cultivating and apply it to the room I was in. The room become a dome, like a bucky dome actually, with different matrices forming and in each matrix was a perspective, a place of awareness about not only the physical space I was in, but also the space of my life. Thiede asked me if I was really ready to claim my space, not just the room, but my space as a person. Was I ready, he asked, to be true to myself about what I wanted in that space.

And I thought that for the first time in my life I can be honest with myself about what I really want...or more honest than I have been, because I'm through with buying into certain societal expectations about what I should want in my space, from another person, etc. I realized that I don't want to compromise my sense of space for someone else, not if that means I'm unhappy as a result.

I claimed my physical space, but also my metaphysical identity space, to be true to what I want in that space, so I can be true as well to who I allow into that space. And I recognize as well that every other person has his/her own space and so each person must respect his/her own space...I claimed my space, and my awareness of that space. Thiede told me than to do another working with Elephant and get ready for Purson...

In other news...

Panthea-con schedule is up. I'll be teaching the class on Space/Time magic on Saturday morning at nine.

Space is the Place part 2

I worked with Thiede again last night, or rather he took me on another journey into space. This time he made the point that the notion of space being empty is another cultural construct, but that space is never empty. There is a lot of different things in space, so to speak. It made me think of the little motes of light that I see in everything around me. I've seen these motes of light for as a long as I can remember and Thiede had me focus on them and when I did so I could also see lines connecting each mote to the other. This, I might add, is something I've seen before with Thiede, years ago, but this time I had a different appreciation, because what he showed me with it is how everything is connected together. How all of this comes together and creates this overall experience of the world that makes sense on a sublime level. And that was it tonight. I'll work with him again soon, and I'll finish this post then. Worked with him again tonight. I saw a central hub connected to spatial points. I was inclined at first to view it as an experience of movement, but Thiede corrected me, noting that thinking of space in terms of movement is derived from being a moving being and applying how one physically navigates space to the experience of space. But navigating through space isn't the same experience as space itself can be...and as I thought about it, my own changes of awareness in a given space has much more to do with a change of perspective than actual movement. Movement is a convenient metaphor to explain or situate space for a person, but I haven't necessarily moved from a space I'm in so much as changed my perspective about that space, because my awareness of it shifts to something new. It's an interesting way to think about space...I always exist in the same space, but my awareness changes how I understand that space.

Space is the place

Tonight I chose to work With Thiede, my guide for space. Anyone who is familiar with the character of Thiede from the Wraeththu series will remember that he's character who is able to alter the awareness of space and time, to put people into different spaces. Tonight I chose to do my first working to him, in the context of the element of space. It was a very interesting working. He just had me meditate on the concept of space without trying to apply movement to it. He told me that the inclination with space is to apply some kind of movement or activity to fill it up, or to associate it with time to give it a sense of movement, but that such associations may be incorrect and more so the result of human perception and the need to do something with space (and Edward Hall alludes to this very issue in his work on space and culture). Meditating on space without defining it, experiencing it is so different because it suddenly treats space as an entity unto itself, instead of as a background or something to be filled or moved in. In fact, in one sense Space can't really be moved in, so much as it can be moved around. I don't know how else to put that. I'm sure further meditations will provide more clarity.

What I came away with is a different awareness of space. I'll be doing more meditations, and may make the dancing I do tonight part of the experience of space from this new perspective that Thiede has gifted me with.

On a different note, I was struck to today how easily we create stories and perceptions about other people that aren't remotely true. That someone who seems successful might be suffering a lot more than how s/he displays it...just how private a person's world can be, and what may never be noticed unless you actually begin to interact with that person (and even though how much will you really know?).

Laban, and a meeting with my Anima

I've been reading Laban for all, which is a book that describes the dance techniques of Rudolf Laban. I was introduced to it by Bill Whitcomb. We both find the mapping of the movement of the body to be fascinating. Last night I decided to try out the basic steps for Laban. What stood out to me about the experience was how much attention I needed to pay to each of the steps I was doing. I know that as time goes on, muscle memory helps a person incorporate the movements so that s/he doesn't have to think about the movements, but I felt the experience was useful last night for helping me really sit in my body. I've been finding that incorporating more physical body awareness into my ritual work has been essential for the identity work I'm doing, and most importantly for getting past cultural memes that otherwise influence how the body is perceived and interacted with.

In complement of that I've also been working through some of the exercises in the Eight Circuit Brain. Last night, after doing the steps, I talk a salt water bath and then did a meditation visit with my concept of the Anima. I'm going to continue down that particular route because there's some work I wish to do with it. Meeting with the Anima proved useful because I was able to recognize that it is from my concept of her that in some ways I've based my understanding of the opposite sex. So how better to examine those beliefs than to do so with her? I've found myself dealing with a recurrent issue of idealization and according to Antero Alli, working with the anima directly is the best way to deal with such idealization. Last night's first visit did seem helpful for that purpose. I could place that idealization on the Anima, without having to bring it back with me.