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Experience and the art of magic

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If process is the methodology of magic, experience is the art of magic.

When I talk about experience, I’m talking about engaging your magical work on a sensorial level, opening yourself to the subtle nuances of magic as it expresses itself in your life.

Experiential aspects of magic can happen during ritual workings. In fact a lot of magical workings are purposely designed to engage the magician sensually in order to alter the consciousness and prepare the magician for the spiritual workings, but ritual is just one example of experiential work in magic.

Assumptions, Desire and Doubt in in Magical Practice

Lately I’ve had a few other magicians express doubts about their magical work and when they tell me they feel doubt they feel as if expressing that doubt is somehow bad and makes them less of a magician. I actually find it to be refreshing and see it as a good thing to express and feel. Having some doubt is healthy and is what keeps us grounded when it comes to magic and life. The danger of not entertaining some doubts is that you can make assumptions about your magical work that you aren’t verifying. Doubt is what helps us do our due diligence and check against what we’re doing and how its aligning with the experiences we’re having.

I find that where a magician can start making assumptions is when they don’t entertain any doubt. Certainly I have sometimes made assumptions instead of critically questioning what I was experiencing. A good example of this would be when a situation seems to resolve in your favor, with everything lining up the way you would expect it to when you’ve done a magical working…but you haven’t done a magical working.

Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 2

11-22-2018 I’ve been reflecting on my work with creativity so far and I realized part of that work isn’t just around the obvious expressions of creativity, but also around the not so obvious parts. For example I realize how much I haven’t believed in my own creativity and how right now that’s exactly what I’m being challenged with. Can I believe in my creativity and trust it and myself? I guess that’s as much as what this year is about as anything else.

11-24-2018 I still feel angry at myself about last year. I realize I had to make some tough choices and ultimately I made the right call, but there’s still that feeling around failing that I’m working through. I feel this creativity work will help me with that process, help me come to a place of forgiveness with myself or something along those lines.

At the same time, one theme I’m finding with my creativity is the importance of taking breaks and not working myself to burnout. That was a huge problem for me when I was self-employed, and now that I’m employed I find it easier to take breaks, to recognize when I just need to do something fun for myself instead of always being on. Or finding a different way around the block. Last night I felt blocked and instead of trying to force myself to write I stepped back and took a look at the problem and realized I needed to start organizing my research for the new book. When I approached the problem that way I got inspired and started getting the research put together in my mind. It reminded me that working on a book isn’t just writing and that I can make progress in other ways as well.

Magic for Experience vs Magic for Results

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the difference between magic done for the sake of experience and magic done for the sake of results. I don’t think either type of magic necessarily better than the other, but I think the underlying purpose for doing the magical work is significantly different and worth recognizing because it also informs your own motivations for why you’re doing magic.

I’ll admit that a lot of my thought around this topic is driven by my own magical experiences and experiments of late, which have driven more by a desire for the experience than for a specific outcome. Practicing magic for the sake of experience I find is changing my perspective on magic. Before I get into that further though let’s briefly define and clarify what magic for results and magic for experience looks like.

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How I use dreams for my creative work

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One of the ways I’ve been cultivating my creativity has involved using lucid dreams to discover what I should write about, both for fiction and nonfiction. In order to have lucid dreams I’ve found it helpful to change some of my sleep patterns, just enough so I can remember my dreams and still get enough sleep for my health.

If I get a full night of sleep I usually need 7 hours. When I’m doing dream work, I aim for getting around 6 hours of sleep. I find that if I only sleep 6 hours, I wake up around the time that I’m having vivid dreams and can remember those dreams. If I have a journal on hand, then I can write the dream down.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Creativity Month 1

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10-22-2018 Today I transitioned over to the element of Creativity. this year I am changing how I work with elemental energy completely, by using the Sphere of Art as the elemental invocation and balancing force. And I am working with archangel Metatron in particular, but in tonight’s working I was reminded that I am really working with all of them. I did the Sphere of Art full invocation and then I meditated and in the meditation I was taken deep and experienced all 7 of the archangels as 1, which makes sense because they are ultimately reflections and embodiments of each other. They told me I would be building off everything I had learned this last year and this work would play an integral role in manifesting my path forward.

I’ll admit I found it appropriate that the final book cover, for Manifesting Wealth, came in today. It was a further confirmation from the archangels. I feel primed and ready to explore creativity and my relationship with it this year.

Book Reviews September and October 2018

Book Review: A Beginner’s Guide to Living Kabbalah by William G. Gray

The title of this book is a bit of a misnomer, because while people just learning about Quabala can benefit from reading this book, it really is a book for anyone interested in Quabala. The insights you will get from this book will benefit your spiritual practice and help you recognize aspects of the Quabala that you might not have considered. The author makes all of these explanations very easy to understand. And you gt a treat with the last essay, which explores how spirits are communicated with and presents an innovative approach that is still not matched to this day.

My only complaint about this book is that the editors did a poor job. There are mispelled words, missing words and spaces between letters in a word, which diminishes the enjoyment of the book.

How to maintain a consistent magical practice

One of the topics that comes up frequently when I talk with other magicians is the challenges they have around doing a consistent practice of magic. They want a consistent practice of magic, they start to do it, but then the consistent practice falls away. They may have done the practice for multiple weeks in a row, but suddenly they stop.

It’s a frustrating experience when you are trying to develop a consistent practice and you’re doing well with it and then suddenly you aren’t. You can feel like a failure, like you aren’t really a magician, because you can’t seem to stick with a practice. And when you feel that way it can discourage you from even trying to practice magic.

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12 Lessons I learned from working with the element of Stability

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I recently wrapped up working with the element of stability for a year. My work with stability for a year is part of a process I’ve developed where I work with a given element, daily, for the course of a year or more in order to achieve balance with that element. It’s basically an intensive form of internal work but it has helped me make significant changes in my life for the better because when I work with an element for a year or more I find that I end up having the experiences I need to help me make proactive changes in my life.

My elemental balancing ritual changes on my birthday so the year is a bit unusual in that it starts and ends on October 21st (for me). I originally started this practice in 2004 and have continued doing it for the last 14 years. In Inner Alchemy I share more about how the ritual works, but what I thought I would do here is share 12 lessons I’ve learned from working with stability for the past year.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 12

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9-23-2018 I think its kind of fitting that I’m getting all the old business wrapped up as this year long work with stability comes to a close. I chose to work with Stability as an element, because I needed to stabilize my life. And I think it as the right choice. I look back at the last 11 months and there was some hard work, but the end result is that everything is off my plate that doesn’t belong and now I can focus on what’s really important. Stability isn’t reinforcing that status quo. It’s the deliberate creation of a foundation that truly supports you.

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How to Ground yourself after doing deep work

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Whenever I’ve come home from a festival or a weekend intensive or wrapped up an intense working, I find that one of the challenges I’ve face is how do I come back from that intense experience. After all I’ve stepped away from my mundane life for a period of time and experienced something outside the norm…and now I have to go back.

Chances are that if you’ve practiced magic for any length of time you’ve had this experience too. And the question is how do you come back from that and go back to your normal life? It sometimes feels like culture shock when you try to go back to the regular routines of life because where you were spiritually, mentally, and physically was so different and going back to your regular life is a shock.

Can you physically change the past?

Picture courtesy of Pexels

Picture courtesy of Pexels

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Recently I was asked if you could physically change the past with space/time magic. The person specifically brought up a technique I mentioned in Space/Time Magic, where you can influence your past self via a meditation technique in order to guide and influence that past self.

Throughout my life I’ve had moments where I’ve encountered a future version of myself that gave me advice or pushed me in a specific direction or warned me away from a direction I might have gone down. I know when I’ve followed that advice/push or pull in a specific direction its generally worked out in my favor, but it does create an intriguing question.

Was I interacting with my future self or with a version of my future self, or what?

I’ll be the first to tell you that so far as I know you can’t physically changed the past. I’ve never physically time traveled to the past or hopped into a DeLorean and gotten a sports almanac or hopped in to a Tardis. Nor have I traveled back into the past in any other way that seemed remotely physical

Yet nonetheless I’ve had moments where I’ve experienced a sense of myself, older, who’s taken it upon himself to show up in dreams or meditations and either give me a push toward a certain direction or provide some type of instruction that has shown up as a spiritual transmission of sorts. I’ve also purposely initiated workings where I connected with a younger version of myself and provided him information and directions.

The question is who am I interacting with? Am I interacting with the future version of myself that I am becoming or am I interacting with a version of myself that made some different choices and knows those outcomes, and so points me in a different direction? I’m inclined to think its the latter case, because it is possible that there are multiple versions of ourselves and that under the right circumstances those versions could interact with us, via something like dreams or meditation when we’re in an altered state of consciousness.

That version wouldn’t be changing his past, but would be providing a change to my version of the life of Taylor Ellwood.

Alternately perhaps it is truly my future self and that future self, with the wisdom of a life lived, is choosing to look back and make some suggestions so that changes can be made.

If that’s the case, how is this change happening if for that future self its the past? And what is changing for that future self.

This is where our notions of linear time run smack into non-linear time. In either scenario what we have to recognize is that our notions of linear time set everything up with a distinct path forward. You have a sequence of past, present, and future. One moment leads into the next and never is that moment revisited save through remembrance.

Non-linear time on the other hand offers a different perspective. Past, present, and future aren’t delineated in the same way. They inform each other, explore each other and change each other. The past and future are just other moments of the present that a person slides into.

The question then is what changes and do we notice that change in the everyday life of linear reality?

This is a sticky question to answer because when you throw non-linear time and space into the mix there is no conveniently easy answer. Yet nonetheless while I can point to moments where I felt a sense of self come through and say, “Go here and do this or don’t do that,” what I can’t point is the alternative, because that alternative hasn’t happened or if it did happened, it happened to a different me. So has something changed? Maybe, but if so its a subtle change, something experienced subjectively that nonetheless has an effect on your life.

And what about me and where I am at? Having done some work with my past self, providing him instructions and direction, I can tell you that something may have changed in my life as a result, but I can’t point to something specific that tells me what changed. I don’t have objective evidence that a physical change occurred. I only have the subjective experience and as a result this is why I can’t say that the past has physically changed. Maybe it did but I can’t be entirely sure it did. All I know is that I influenced the path of my life in some way and as a result I’m where I’m at, but what changed…I provided myself suggestions and he followed them. If he hadn’t, something else would have happened.

It’s not terribly specific or measurable. It’s probability and when you deal with probabilities, you’re dealing with non-linear time and space, where nothing is convenient and everything is possible. Nonetheless the question still remains, “Did I truly change my past?”

You changed a past…but is it yours or another version of you? There’s only the subjective experience, the feeling of change and difference and what you make of it.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 11

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8-24-2018 I was reading Expert Secrets by Russell Brunson and I had this realization about how I messed up last year. I hadn't built a shared vision or a sense of community. I had tried to, but I had missed something he spoke about. Sitting with that realization was hard. At first I wanted to beat myself up for not having that realization earlier and then I began to wonder if I should try and do something with this realization. And then I took a deep breath and I realized that if I do anything with it, I should focus on what I'm doing now, not try to fix the past. I should learn from my mistakes (as I have been), not try to frantically fix them. And I should look forward and move forward with renewed purpose about what really matters to me, but also remember that I still have time. 

Last year I would have tried to do something that likely wouldn't have worked. A year later, I can see the mistakes and learn from them and take action in a way that actually is truly beneficial, instead of just reacting. And that's because of stability.

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Marrow Breathing Meditation Experiments

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For the last month I've been experimenting with what I would call Marrow Breathing Meditation. It's a technique of meditation where you use your breath to connect with the marrow in your bones and use it to generate Chi and more blood cells. I learned about it when I read a book on Qigong practices that focused on this topic. While the book was mostly theoretical, I have enough experience with Taoist meditation practices that it wasn't hard to figure out how it should work and adapt my practices to explore if the marrow breathing meditation could work. 

How to define and enhance the power source of magical workings

The other day I had someone ask me how you could go about giving more power to a spell or ritual. It's not an unusual question, because of one key word: Power. How do we put more oomph, more power into our magical workings? I think a better question to ask though is do we even need more power in order to get a desired result? Along with that, let's also ask what the best source of power ought to be for what we're doing with our magical workings.

On the surface more power seems like the ideal response. Not getting what you want? Throw more power into it. That'll tip the momentum in your favor. But in my experience brute power rarely does the trick and the reason is because power, in and of itself, isn't enough to get what you want, if you understand what all that power is going to.

July and August 2018 Book Reviews

7 book reviews

Book Review: Chaos Protocols by Gordon White

It's rare for me to say this about a contemporary book of occultism, but this is a must read book on magic, regardless of what your magical practice is, because it will slap you across the face and make you open your eyes. What this author does well is bring in a non-magical topic (so to speak) i.e. macroeconomics and show why we need to care about its impact in our lives and how magic can be applied to it. Along the way the author explores the question of success and illustrates the importance of cultivating mundane and magical skills in order to achieve success. I read this book when I really needed it and it got me out of a funk and for that alone I'm grateful. The magical techniques are sound and exercises well explained. If you do the work, results will follow.

Book Review: The Neurobiology of the Gods by Erik Goodwyn

In this book the author sets out to explore the neurobiological connection we have with the gods. It's an interesting book, but its fair to say that the author' focus is more psychological than neurobiological. He does touch on the brain and the physiological functions of the brain and shows how they can mapped to Jungian psychology, which is where most of the focus of this book ends up being. He makes some good connections with metaphors and archetypes, but it feels like he's trying too hard to fit neurobiology into his arguments, while relying on surprisingly outdated resources at the time of his writing for the majority of his research. There's some good ideas here and its worth a read, but it also falls short in some ways.

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Elemental Balancing Ritual Stability Month 10

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7-24-2018 The other night I did the sphere of art working again, but this time, no energy flowed in to wake me up so to speak. Once I got to the meditation portion of the ritual, I asked the archangels about that and they said, "You expected it this time and we don't want there to be an expectation built into what you do with us." This made sense to me so I consider it a valuable lesson learned in relationship to this work as much as anything else.

Today I communed with Elephant. Its always part of the daily work, but I purposely made it the only thing I did with the daily work. He reminded me to take things slow and steady, to recognize that any path I go on will be a journey and not a destination. In the past I've gotten so focused on the destination that I haven't paid attention to the journey, to my own detriment so I thanked him for his wise advice.

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Are the 4 quarter Archangels the same as the Guardians of the Watchtowers?

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I was recently asked if the Guardians of the watchtowers are the same as Archangels. The reason I was asked is because a lot of Magicians call angels to their circle or the Guardians of the watchtowers. It's a good question to ask, and since I've been doing my own work around the archangels of the quarters, I thought I would answer it.

The short answer is that the Archangels aren't the same as the Guardians of the watchtowers. They are each their own distinctive set of beings. Frater Barrabbas has an excellent book out about this very topic called Spirit Conjuring for Witches: Magical Evocation Simplified (Affiliate link), where he explores this topic in depth.

My own experience with the Archangels also doesn't suggest that they're the guardians of the watchtowers, but rather that they have their own distinct roles which should be explored in depth. In fact, this is why I always recommend doing thorough research on what spirits you'll work with so that you don't create this blending of function, which isn't accurate. 

For example, one of the reasons you develop a correspondence table with a spirit you work with is because the correspondence table speaks to the relationships and associations that are relevant to the spirit. For example if we work with the archangel Raphael, what we're initially doing is learning about who that spirit is and what functions/associations/attributes etc are aligned with Raphael.

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What happens as a result is that we build a profile that we use every time we work with Raphael. That profile allows us to not only evoke or invoke Raphael, but also connect with the powers that are associated with Raphael. We learn what those powers are by taking the time to build a relationship, but the benefit we get is that when we call Raphael up, we're also connecting with those powers. What Raphael does for us is mediate those powers so that we have access to exactly what we can handle and no more than that. 

Circling back around to the initial question posed above, the reason its important to have a distinct understanding of the spirits in their own rights, as opposed to blending them together is because of what they represent and mediate. By understanding the function/role of Raphael in a separate context from that of a guardian of the watchtower, we can readily appreciate the role/function of each and employ each appropriately in our magical workings.

Now it could be argued that if a guardian of the watch tower and Raphael occupy the same quarter, won't they have the same associations? We shouldn't assume they will, because although they may share a quarter and some associations in common, there may also be specific differences. There's also the simple fact that if I work with Raphael that's who I'm working with. Blending the identities of spirits for your own purpose disrespects the spirits you're working with and also takes away from the potency of the connection.

I recommend that whatever system of magic you work with or create that you remember that the relationship you form with a given spirit is really a discovery of that spirit and what it represents, as well as how that relationship can be applied to the other spiritual work you're doing. Don't try to force connections...simply discover and be open to learning. The rest will reveal itself as needed.

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Why magic for your self isn't always effective

I was asked by someone why magic he was doing for himself was less effective. He told me that that until recently the magic done for himself had worked fine, but that then suddenly became less effective. He wondered if it was because he had put a shield up or if the magic was less effective because it as an attempt to avoid self sabotage. Finally he asked what could be done when your magic seemed less effective.

I don't know the specifics of what he was trying to do with his magical work, but some thoughts did come to mind, based on my own experiences and helping other people diagnose issues they are having with their magical practice. I find that when a person isn't getting a result or their magic is less effective, its usually because they are self-sabotaging in some way. They may not really want what they think they want. Or they may not feel they are worthy of what they want. Additionally there may be some internal resistance because what they want goes against some moral or ethical code.